Preface
TOUHOU JAM: The Game Of The Centry (Starring Michael Jordan, Bugs Bunny an Reimu hakurei)
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at /works/31026971.
Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Touhou Project, Space Jam (1996) Character: Michael Jordan, Bugs Bunny, Hakurei Reimu, Mr. Swackhammer (Space Jam), Watatsuki no Toyohime, Reisen Udongein Inaba, Yagokoro Eirin, Houraisan Kaguya, Elmer Fudd, Shameimaru Aya, Sylvester, Yosemite Sam, Hata no Kokoro, Komeiji Satori, Komeiji Koishi, Ibuki Suika, Mononobe no Futo, Kirisame Marisa, Alice Margatroid, Hinanawi Tenshi, Kochiya Sanae, Sunny Milk, Lily White (Touhou Project), Luna Child, Wile E. Coyote, Road Runner, Daffy Duck, Houjuu Nue, Clownpiece (Touhou Project), Yakumo Yukari, Kawashiro Nitori, Rumia (Touhou Project), Mystia Lorelei, Pound (Space Jam), Bupkus (Space Jam), Nawt (Space Jam), Blanko (Space Jam), Bang (Space Jam), Konpaku Youmu, Saigyouji Yuyuko, Foghorn Leghorn, Porky Pig, Izayoi Sakuya, Hong Meiling, Patchouli Knowledge, Remilia Scarlet, Koakuma (Touhou Project), Flandre Scarlet, Toyosatomimi no Miko, Fujiwara no Mokou, Tatara Kogasa, Daiyousei (Touhou Project) Additional Tags: basketball-NBA-looney tunes-aliens-comedy, the lunarians working with the nerdlucks, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Movie AU, in ch 3 i whote sylvester wrong the hole time., Humor Stats: Published: 2021-05-02 Updated: 2021-05-09 Chapters: 3/? Words: 8922 TOUHOU JAM: The Game Of The Centry (Starring Michael Jordan, Bugs Bunny an Reimu hakurei)
by kaindol
Summary
this really isn't the hakurei shrine maiden's day, she not only have to solve an incident involving certain youkai animals but gensokyo also gets invaded by aliens called nerdlucks who want to bring then into moron mountain, an the only way to decide if they're going or not is in a basketball matchup, reimu an friends now need to work with the NBA player Michael jordan an the looney tunes to defeat these aliens in a basketball match but if they lose they be enslaved an forced to entartain in their amusement park *sigh* if only an certain lunarian didn't make a deal with an certain alien this wouldn't have happened.
(if this story goes well i might do a sequel based on the upcoming movie)
Notes
(this is the 3 time i have to reado this by the way)
ok if you read my discripition than you knew this was coming i am doing a new story this is a touhou x space jam story about the ch 1 of INDIE X STEAM i am still working on it but the original script was erased twice yeah i don't know how to make backup yet so while i am still working on that let me explain this story i wanted to do a space jam x something so the first idea i came up was hololive x space jam i already had a scrip until Touhou came in my head an after much thinking i decided to scrap the hololive idea an went with touhou instead
(not that it really matters 'cause anyone can do a hololive x space jam anyway)
this intire story takes place on the OG space jam so if you didn't watch it then you will be very confused about it i was originally gonna adaptate the start of the movie with young Michael but you're gonna have to do it in your head 'cause i can't bear with deleting script anymore so unfourtinally until i learn how to do backup i am gonna have to rush things a bit so sorry about
okay without futher an do COME ON AN SLAM AN WELCOME TO THE JAM.
(i want to learn how to draw stuff i can draw obter characters with the tune squad shirt)
See the end of the work for more notes
Chapter 1
GENSOKYO.
MOON.
in the mystic land of gensokyo everything looks pretty chill so far no incident's had appeared in 7 mouth's now of course there were little ones but they didn't really matter as long as the hakurei shrine maiden keeps the balence of place intact nothing bad will happen.
but today were not gonna talk about the daily day of gensokyo yet... This time were going to the space the moon more precisely let's see what the lunarians are up to today
2 figures can be seen from the moon looking at a few pictures in their hand's one is a girl with gold blond hair an wears a dark blue dress the obter one had light purple hair tied into a ponytail the two leaders of the lunarian defence corps. Were investigating an mystirous new planet with the word "moron mountain" tied on it they also had pictures of the inside of the planet.
"so did you find anything new about that planet toyohime?" torihime asks her sister
"yes i did, aparently its some kind of amusement park leaded by aliens it doesn't seen to be doing well an for what i have seen there are no mountain's in that place at all" toyohime reply's
" (so these are aliens not youkais huh) no mountains really? if that's the case then why is it called moron mountain? Are they just stupid? Do they even know what a mountain looks like?" torihime critccalizes
"that is very strange inded. Anyway i think now that we know what it is we can just destroy it right?" toyohime questions
"We need to know if these aliens are hostiles first" torihime reply's
"oh another thing. When i was inside the planet i heard a conversation an found these pictures"toyohime shows pictures of the moon an then to torihime
"wait. that's us" torihime points her finger in the pictures showing then "do they know who we are?"
"that seens to be the case. From the conversation i heard from the guy who aparently made the park, he wants to talk to us" torihime glares surprised at the moron mountain planet from far away an looks back saying
"he wants to talk to us? Let me guess we wants us to sponsore his amusement park right?" torihime guess
"from what i heard yes an no?" Torihime turns to her sister curious
"what do you mean?"
"it seens like he's going to the earth to look for his alien minios or so?"
"if he wants to go to the land of impurity than why does he wants to talk to us?"
"i have no idea i might go just for curiosity but i want to hear about you"
"*sigh* i don't even know honestly. from what you're describing me, this alien looks very suspicious i go with you i ll bring my sword just in case"
she pulls out her sword from nowhere
"ok let's see what that alien wants" the two sisters get off the moon an go to the moron mountain
... ...
in this very small office with black boxes allover the place we can see an inpatience alien wanting on his desk, sundelly 2 lunarians come from a automatic door
"wait did the door open by itself?" toyohime asks
"It doesn't matter." they walk to the room an see a very fat alien smoking with ciggaret with various tv's behind him
"oh finally i ve being wanting for you" the alien with a tooth grin crossed his finger's
"what do you want with us weirdo" torihime questins in a very serious tone while they both sit an 2 chairs in front of him
"first let me introduce myself i am swackHammer man of bussiness an owner of moron mountain" he introduced himself an picked a remote controller turning on those black boxes
On*
"You see my amusement park is not going well an soon i will enter bankrupt" the tv behind him show's red graphics going down
'(what are the black boxex behind him?') toyohime thought's
"an most of my clients didn't want to come back here anymore so then i Say the problem"
"maybe the name" torihime says
"no you idiot" torihime gets slighty offended by being called idiot "its the atractions i needed something crazy, lunatic,over the top" swackhammer accidentally sits on another remote controller showing pictires of anthroformofic animals getting hurt while a familliar soundtrack plays.
one show's a duck getting shot by a bald hunter while tohohime an torihime watch with a very confused expression
"what is this?" torihime asks she turns to tohohime who looked like she was enjoyong it
"well i guess even the humans have their own danmaku bullets" another screen show's a black an white cat getting electrevied by a little yellow bird putting his tail in a plug
"how's that youkai not dead? he's being electrevied" torihime asks shooked(pun not intended) the tv's then turn off
"So then i thought of course of course lunatic! The looney tunes, warner bros everything makes sence now. after that i sent 5 of my incompetent nerdlucks to capture then an bring then to me"
the 2 lunarian sisters looked at each an questioned swackHammer
"What is a looney tunes?" SwackHammer gets of his chair an puts his ciggaret on the table
"So you don't know then huh? fine I ll explain." swackHammer pulls out a paper from above
"the looney tunes are cartoons created by warner bros who serve to entertain the humans in their television" swackHammer explains tohohime an torihime only guess these "looney tunes" youkais have something to do with the outside world.
"so you're saying the pitfull humans use their television stuff to watch youkais suffering on screen as a sort of entertaining?" SwackHammer simply nods as a response making torihime dissapointed with the earth not as much since she an toyohime already have a clue of how "impure" the earth
"so this how low the humanity can go with their inpurity" torihime says
"i still don't get why did you call us here to tell us your story an leave i didn't even know the outside world had their own youkais "toyohime asks swackHammer gets slighty angered by tohoyime's comentarry
"grrr, that's the reason idiots, lets make a deal. i heard you 2 are leaders of the lunar whatever corp. An have being claiming to go to the earth an clean all the bad things that exists. This is your chance what you're wanting for when the looney tunes get brought here they i ll be no more an the planet won't have be able to watch then an there will not be any type of inpurity anymore an we both win, so what do you say"
swackHammer sits back on his chair stending a hand wating for a response the 2 lunarians look at each obter an both raise an eyebrown to swackHammer saying
"This is a trick is in it? we're not failing for it okay"torihime answear's negatively
"trick? of course not i am a honest man i don't do tricks if you're not intrestead fine go home an come back to your silly moon protection thing but you will lose a very good deal"
tohohime an torihime think about it with their hands in their chin
(We've being thinking about invading the earth this weekend. but i don't trust aliens, even tho that show with looney tunes thing was disgusting this is the reason why youkai should stay away from the earth. or else they i ll be used as somekind of joke i say no but i ll ask toyohime) torihime turns to her sister
"toyohime what do you think?"
"of course yes" without hesitating tohohime gives a handshake to the fat alien who had a tooth grin in his face
"TOYOHIME!!" torihime was speachless she was sure her sister would have the same answear as her
"sure its time for the human race to stop with their impurity" toyohime says
"but why tohoyime!" Torihime said very dissapointed with toyohime's choice
"spendid now that were done with this now scram!"
swackHammer's hand stops shaking toyohime's an he he puts his back in his mounth an push's a button that puts the a spherical glass above the two lunarians chair while they both descend down into a hole
Machine sounds*
"what is the meaning of this?!"
"what's happening?!"the two confused lunarians yell to what was happening to them
After a while the same 2 chair's with the spherical glasses turn into alien spaceship, with buttom's an all after that the spaceship drops downwards out of the office like.
"WHAT IS THIS!" toyohime yells
"you shouldn't had agreed with that alien now look at what is happening to us!"
"are we heading to the earth"
toyohime an torihime says the ship goes faster it seens to be aiming to the earth an the two lunarians continued yelling in confusion very uncharacteristic of then.
... ...
This is only the begining the beging of the game that would mark centry's the begining of
THE
TOUHOU JAM:The Game Of The Centry
MICHAEL JORDAN.
BUGS BUNNY.
REIMU HAKUREI.
BGM: (SPACE JAM.)
JAM,JAM,JAM,JAM
COME ON AN SLAM AN WELCOME TO THE JAM, COME ON AN SLAM YOU WANT THEN DOWN!!
the animal youkai incident, a alien an lunar threat.
Chapter Summary
after a long ride. The lunarians find 5 little aliens who are workers from moron mountain, they found a way to bring the world of the looney tunes an gensokyo together so then they can catch both characters an bring then to moron mountain. but with the help of a nba player this ain't no problem right?
Chapter Notes
while i am still doing the second ch of Indie x Steam i decided to do a second ch on this one two something motivated me to so i am doin' it let's see what happened to the lunarians, an let's also explore the outside world for a bit shall we?
See the end of the chapter for more notes
USA.
OUTSIDE WORLD.
SUMMER.
in this baseball camp we can see a lot of people exited who wouldn't be of course the nba player Michael jordan was there an wait? what is doin' here? why's he playing baseball an not basketball?
oh. wait. i remenber. When he was a kid he said to his dad after he became a pro nba player he would play baseball just like him.
so know we see him following his father's footsteps isn't that cute. but it doesn't look like he's doing good. He missed two balls.
while he was in his stance ready to hit it. finally a guy throws the ball but he misses
crowd noises*
"strikeout!" A guy in the left said
"i said to you not to hit it" the man in red equipament
"its fine i can understand" michael said as he was leaving the camp
"hey call me if you need something" the red guy said
crowd aplause*
the dissapointed looking michael goes back to where his teamate were an takes of his helmet.
"stay cool, stay cool" one of the teammates said while Michael sits close to everyone
"great lance michael great lance" one of the teamates positively says
"you look good when you're in a strikeout when it happens to me it sucks but for you is really good" after one of the teamates says that a fat guy from above the audience try's to get close to michael he balances his hand from above while Michael notices it an starts glaring it.
"hi, hi hi mr jordan. Hi my name is sta-" before finishing the fat guy fails in the floor in front of michael he gets up again close to michael growing in pain.
"did you fail...that was one fail" michael says
"I know right...oh right i am stan padalok i am publistic an your personal trainer" stan says while shaking michael's hand
"if you need someone to wash your clothes, walk the dog, babysit your s
Kids, i can do all of that for you" stan in a fast-foward way said
"i am here to make sure. nobody will in any personal way bug you okay"
Zoom*
after stan said that two spaceships fly really fast in the sky while everyone stared the quick spaceships confused.
"what was that?"
...
out of the baseball stage the same two spaceships go underground smashing the floor in the spaceships one has five chibi aliens driving the obter one? Well just see it by yourself
"GAAAAAAH! torihime how do we stop this thing." toyohime yelled
"none of the buttoms work!"
"who are these guys" i mini voice could be heard. the two lunarians look at the window an see the nerdlucks inside of it
"is that a sword?" The red one said
"They stole our ship?" the purple one continues
"are you alive?" The blue one also continues
"tiny youkais?" Toyohime says
"oh i get it you're the sidequicks boss told he would get" the orange one remenbers
"Sidequicks? i knew it was a trick! Hey get us of whatever you want to do youkai!" Torihime in a serious tone says while picking her sword
"Youkai?" the purple one 'bupkus' says
"is that an insolt?" the red one 'nawt' continues
"should i be sad?" the green one 'bang' also contines
"i want food" the blue one 'blanko' says
"stop talking an tell us how to stop this machine!" Tohohime yells
"Tell you? No way you're going to help us" the orange one 'pound' presses a buttom making both the spaceships grow in a white light.
"what is happening"torihime in a confused expresion says
"you're going to help us" pound trying to sound scary announces
"Like it" bupkus continues it
"Or not!" Nawt also continues
the two spaceships start to get closer until
light*
the lunarians open their eyes only to notice the two spaceships became one an they were now in the same spaceship the nerdlucks were
"wa- wa- what is the meaning of this!" Toyohims exclaims
"bad for you now i can beat you up"
torihime picks her sword but then she notices a hole in the wall name 'warner bros'
"what is that?" Torihime questions
pound presses a red buttom with the name 'x-overed' making the spaceship fire a giant laser beam who doesn't destroy the mark but it takes a piece of it an the left part who had the 'warner word' now had a piece of an yin-yang
the lunarians open an eyebrown recognizing the mark
"a ying-yang? Oh. Wait of course the shrine maiden let's give her a little visit." torihime smiles creeply scaring blanko a bit
"i fell afraid"
"Me too" bupkus says
the spaceship goes through the wall like a paper coming out of the sky in a cartoonistic way the ship keeps flying into a direction. But i think that's enough let's go down for a bit
...
...
GENSOKYO.
HAKUREI SHRINE.
MORNING.
the shrine maiden of hakurei was coming back to her shrine after doing youkai extermination. But she notices something in the way while flying
"well i finally did something today. no incidents have happened this week an even tho that's good beacuse i can rest, everything is being kinda of boring latel-, Holy hakurei god!" reimu widened her eyes after seing the backward full of earth an looked like someone dig it with a shovel.
"*sigh* me an my mounth" reimu fly's an lands in front of the shrine
"did anyone did this just to play a pran-, oh right the fairies they might wanted to get clownpiece or something. when i find then they i ll go into a wave of pain!" reimu says with her gouhei but then she hears a sound coming from the underground.
"oh wait, is she litterally coming because i mentioned her name? my mounth really is being holy this week" but for her surprise reimu didn't see clownpiece instead. what came out was an anthroformofic rabbid standing up like if there was an elevator in the hole. He was also holding a carrot. reimu raises an eyebrown an says
"or maybe.. just a rabbid youkai i guess" the rabbid getting weird looks from the shrine maiden eats his carrot
"what's up doc?" The rabbid says to reimu who gets weird looks from the shrine maiden principally after he called her doc
"doc? what do you think i am a doctor or something? are you the one who made the holes?"
"relax doc one thing from time to time. can you cutely an kindly tell me where i am?" The rabbid in a relaxed manner questions reimu
"you don't know this place? Well i am guessing you're not from here then. anyway this gensokyo a mystic land where creature's like you live. if you're only here to do mischievous things i will throw you right back in that hole okay"
reimu threats the bunny with her gouhei but the relaxed rabbid only puts his finger inside of the stick making it blow
boom* a gian explosion with the word boom appears on the screen while reimu has a black face because of the explosion.
the rabbid simply takes his oportunity an runs away.
after all the black stuff in reimu's face was gone she confusedly says
"how. did he do that?... does it actually work? I ll just test it on marisa's broom when i find he-" but then reimu notices the rabbid-youkai was gone.
"hey. he's gone come back here! go clean the mess you did to my shrine's backward! *Sigh* that rabbid looked a lot different from any lunar rabbids i ve seen... i ll go find that youkai an make him clean this up. if i don't. I ll just force marisa to do it" reimu leaves the shrine by flying in the air.
"well looks like i have another incident in hand's with whatever that youkai's name was *sigh* at least i have something to do now" reimu leaves the camera by going far with her flying ability.
...
meanwhile
EIENTEI.
MORNING.
after the rabbid-youkai who was called "bugs bunny" ran from the shrine maiden he was now in the underground the area ws sorrounded by bambos an there was a giant house in the front.
bugs's head comes out of the earth glaring at the mansion.
"Whoa i see a great looking house from here"
bugs turned right to see reisen who looked very tired since she had just delivered 5 boxes of eirin's medicine
"*huff* *huft* *huff* *huff* *huff* just...*huff* one... more" bugs comes back to the underground begins to move in the same direction as reisen who was not noticing it.
"*huff* *huff* *huff* wait...i am hearing someth-" bugs jumps from the underground behind her trying to mimic her walking style until he touch's her back scaring reisen in the prosess
"GAAAAAAAAAH!" reisen jumps in a very large distance like a scared cat. bugs moves back when noticing reisen falling in the floor while bugs simply stares at it with his carrot.
"Ouch ouch *groans* my back. *Huff* I can't use eirin-sama's medicines...*huff* is anyone here?" reisen looks behind her only to see bugs standing in front of her
"what's up doc?"
"whew. Its just an earth rabbid...hi there. I was scared for a moment, i thought it was intrud- wait a second!" Reisen gets up an glares at the rabbid with a weird look
"you don't look nothing like a moon rabbid..or a earth rabbid... Could you be a rare rabbid from another planet different of the moon?"
"i don't know what you're talking about doc. earth is my home" th bunny says in a calm way
"You're from the earth?! but..how come i never saw one like this before...the outside world perhaps?"
bugs looks at the camera pointing at reisen an says
"she does look like a human laboratory experement not gonna lie" he gazes at reisen again.
"hey doc you look very confused maybe you should get therapy" sundelly reisen realizes she's in a chair while bugs changed costumes into a doctor's
"my friend bugs bunny has told me about your stay. Would you mind telling me what's been troubling you resently" reisen looked quite confused
"i apreciated but i think i ll pass" reisen gets up while bugs changes back in tornado way
"So you're a doctor too? Eirin-san might found that usefull. hey can you go inside that bulding for a moment eirin-san might be intested in analizing you an see what kind of rabbid species you are" reisen announces
"Sorry doc. I was never a fan of x-ray an surgery" bugs refuses
"don't worry nothing bad will happen with you. There's plany of rabbids in there where you can socialize with. An also i think master would have a great affection for y-" reisen is
Interupted by a familar voice witch widens reisen's eyes an makes her thremble
"Udougein..what's taking you so long" she then turns to see eirin an kaguya who looked kind of worried
"E-e-e-eirin s-s-san"
"Udougen will you deliver those medicines or not?" Reisen then begins sweat while bugs had a giant ventilator on him
"I am so sorry. eirin-sama i got distracted by this rabbid an how different he looked from the earth an lunar ones an i thought w-we could analize him" eirin an kaguya glared at the bunny who simply said "what's up doc?" Kaguya got excited an begin getting close to him
"you found a earth rabbid?"
"inaba, good girl you found another inaba whoa an its a rare one. i want him in the eientei can we have him home eirin? Just look at him" bugs who looked kind of uncounfortable backed off a bit
"alright. you got my attention. With this new inclusion." eirin aproves
"Yay, we got a new inaba" while bugs tried to find a way to escape.
Leaf noises*
"i got you now wabbit!" An bald hunter in a brown close called 'elmer fudd' jumps from the bambos pointing his gun into both bugs an reisen. everyone felt threated except for bugs since this is not the first time this happens to him.
"who's this"
"An intruder! Inaba get him"
"Don't worry master".pointing her finger's like a gun
"i will defend you an eirin-sa-"
Sqush*
reisen gets interrupted by a spaceship who squash's elmer an quicly before anyone could say anything open's a door everyone glares at it.
"is this earth"bupkus says
"Why is it so green?"nawt continues
"Hey!" Bang offendedly exclaims
"I am kinda sick" blanko says
"cheers earthlings we are here to enslave you to our amusement park" pound announces
"tiny youkais? but how the barrier was supposed to-"
"more intruders!"
"i will defend you master"
"Ohh look at then they're so adorable, hey you should come back to your mom she might be missing you" bugs bunny said while crouching
"Silent earthling" pound rudely says
"we are looking for someone named bugs bunny" nawt continues
"Oh so you're looking for bugs bunny huh? Let's see here" bugs then puts a hand on the chin
"no rabbid will be captured in my sight" reisen says pointing her finger's to the aliens
"hey sinbling let me handle this" he crouches in front of the aliens Does he has long ears like this" bugs pulls his ears as demonstration while the nerdlucks nood in excitement
"Does he has a white an grey color like this" the nerdlucks nood again in excitement
"An does he say" bugs eats a carrot an says
"what's up doc?" The nerdlucks jigle in excitement
"Sorry. Never heard of him" bugs says while leaving the eientei
"ohhhhhhh" the nerdlucks say in a sad tone
"these alien people really need a teached in a space because if it keeps up like this bad things will come from" bugs said looking at the camera while leaving
"are you five just stupid" another voice coming from spaceship can be heard
"Yes he's trying to prank" another voice can be heard
"oh right" bugs sunddely gets blasted by the nerdlucks laser guns who toast bugs an the intire bambos only leaving a platform where he was standing
"who do you thnk you are to stop the nerdlucks?" Pound announces
"Maybe the boss" bupkus says
"the refrigerator?" bang continues
"Me?" Blasto says
"what did you say?" Pound says
"Nothing" the nerdlucks then glare at the angry looking eirin
"You!! You Burned the intire place stupid youkais!"
"Who cares about your silly house, who said for you to add gasoline in the place" pound insults the place
"inaba get then!" kaguya announces
"I won't let you hurt any rabbits, my home or my friends" reisen points her finger's to the nerdlucks
"i wouldn't do that if i was you" the mystirous voice comes back again this time eirin started to reconize it
"Who are the people behind this...thing?! show yourself" kaguya says
"eirin-san" reisen notices the nervous eirin
"why does this voice sound so familiar? No. No please don't tell me its then..No no it can't be!"
"but of course it can" the two figures come from behind the nerdlucks are toyohime an torihime now both kaguya an reisen were shaking
"t-TOHOYIME?!" kaguya yells
"why y-you here?" Reisen says
"Eirin. Is that really your way of greeting your student. After so long?" Torihime in a serious tone says
"but why are you here torihime?" Eirin questions
"fufu simple remenber the war that started year's back? well with the help of these fellow youkais with us" torihime points her sword to the 4(includong bugs) while tohohime points with her fan
"WE SHALL CONTINUE THIS WAR, AN SEIZE THE IMPURITY AT ONCE!!" Both the lunarians announces
"Yeahhhhh!" The nerdlucks say
"you want to continue it? No that war was blasphemous we can't allow it to happen again" eirin worriedly says
"OF course we can! If you refuse to fight we will enslave you to the rest of your lives!"
"YESSSSSSS!" the nerdlucks yell again
in the very background
"well, looks like i am gonna need some help here." bugs says while glaring at the camera
"No you don't" sundelly bugs,eirin,kaguya an reisen get trapped in giant chains around their body
"ugh what!" Eirin questions
"Now. To the scarlet devil mansion. where we will announce our plan to everyresident of this folish world"
"yeaaaah"the nerdlucks yell again
but from above a certain tengu is in the air with her camera seeing everything from above
"oh boy this doesn't look good i better start to launch those newpapers" aya takes pictures of the scene she the Looks around
"You know...i better start with the scarlet devil mansion...*sigh* i should problably start to write the tittle for this" aya leaves the area from above
Chapter End Notes
i didn't know how to end this story so don't blane me okay? Next episode we ill be seeing a little bit of Michael while we will also get to see aya warning the residents of gensokyo about the lunarians.(i might do ch 3 tommorow with how excited i am with this story, all tho i don't do promises)
alright have a good day an see you next time(:
they are more than monsters. They are monstars!!
Chapter Summary
After a reunion the looney tunes have with the residents of gensokyo. Bugs bunny is able to trick the nerdlucks an the lunarians into a basketball matchup. But the nerdlucks found something that made then 'monstars' so now they need the help of a famous basketball pro if they want to stand a chance.
Chapter Notes
(a big shoutouts to radio_collar who's been enjoying this fic so far. don't forget to share this story to obter's i have to intrest on that, It would simply just be apreaciated.)
i said i would post another ch again but i didn't say this would come out today okay? also i apologize for the ch 2 delay from IXS i ll try an focus on this one cause i want to finish this story before space jam 2 comes out (that's my biggest go by the way)
i alright let's begin the jam.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
USA.
OUTSIDE WORLD.
MORNING.
after the embarrasing baseball game. michael was coming back home with his personal trainer stan padalok, inside of his car.
"alright you can stop here" Michael says to stan who was driving the car.
"i think that's it shirno" michael says
"yeah" stan reply's
"Oh right sorry" michael realizes he misstranslated stan's name
"Its fine you can call me shirno, you can call me whatever you want to, i am your personal trainer i will be here for the rest of your lif-"
"stan" michael interrups stan's words
"this door doesn't open"
"Oh right i forgot this door had a opening problem" stan gets off the car an open's the car's door to michael
while the dog 'charles' notices his owner getting off the car.
"whoa. Its beutifull. that's a wonderfull house. Is that collum" stan says glaring at Michael's house
"yes it is a beutifull house"
"Erm, if you need any house assistance i can hel-
"no thank you"
"maybe wash the plants, paint the hous-"
"nope nope, its fine its fine" stan then stops talking
"I apreaciate the ride. Even tho i prefer going in my car so i don't need a ride"
"why? Does it have to much charisma?" Michael smiles an says
"*chuckles* yeah it-"
"I know right *laughs*
"bye. It was a joy. I see you tommoroy" stan then open's the door an comes back to his car an leaves.
While in the background charles was standing up(in dog sense) he then begins to run in michael's direction. The camera goes slow motion, michael notices his dog but he can't do anything since he had already jumped on him
"ugh. charles get off me" charles begins to lick Michael 's face like a dog he is but while that happens, one of michael's familly menbers comes from the house's door
"jordan are you ok?"
"Ugh. Ugh"
"charles get off him" she then begins to lift the dog away. An while try's to take the saliva away a mini-bus appears in the street an lots of kids come off, an they're all dressed in baseball equipement. One of then who seens to be piloting the bus is michael's wife
all of the kids go away back home, except for one is who is one of michael's son
"jeff? How was the game?" The kid simply nods negatively as a response an moves near his father.
"I don't want to talk about that" jeff simply moves foward while another one of Michael's kids moves in the same direction
while that happens michael's little daughter runs in his direction.
"daddy,daddy"
"oh hi darling how are you" michael lifts his daughter up in the air while his wife moves in his direction (as well).
"Oh hi" michael then gives his wife a quick smooth.
"Eww you're full of drool" she says
"it was your dog" they both laugh while moving foward in the same direction
"whats up with jeff" he questions
"he hit 2 an 5 an lost 7 an 8 points"
"That's it" michael questions
"Yeah an that would come into 5,8,4 an something like that"
"he did better than me?" inside the house juanita(michael's wife) takes off her sweater an says
"what a great smell. what are you making" juanita asks
"chicken" one of the familly menbers said while Michael puts his daughter in the ground
"chicken an what" michael questions
"fried chicken" the camera changes to focus on the kitchen
"great, i deserve a good lauch" everyone laugh's
"are you fine" joanita asks Michael
"I messed up my team's game. I hope baseball is alright" the camera then cuts into a news channel it seens to be talking about michael's bad performance in the baseball game after joanita puts his bowtie on him he notices the tv sounds an goes to the living room.
"what are you watching" michael goes to the living room an looks at the tv
"is he talking about me?" michael sits on the coach close to his sons.
"everyone got mad with you?" jeff glares at michael while he does the same
"no...worse...everyone got complettely fine with it" michael responds
"baseball is in't your thing michael" the newsReporter said on the tv
"Maybe you should exercise your legs more...that could make you look more agreesive" his son recomended
"you think so? I should try it out"
".why are you watching this, this doesn't make good for you. Is thee anything better to watch" michael than picks up the controller an changes channels until he stops in one
"There we go. The road runner" michael the leaves the coach. The cartoon show's wile e. Coyote carring a giant envy trying to hit it one road runner but he goes down by the rope since he was carring something heavy but what a surprise road runner was on the left observing it
"beep-beep" the road runner then does his iconic sound effect an runs away but while that happens porky pig sundelly show's up in the middle of the cartoon?
"s-s-s-s-top the cartoon stop the c-c-c-c-c-cartoon *huff*" road runner hears porky an comes back to where he was.
"W-w-e have a e-e-e-emergence r-r-r-reunion w-w-w-with the s-s-s-s-syndicate of cartoons an a b-b-b-b-unch of weird girls"
"*Sigh* what is this" jeff exclaims
"beep-beep" the road runner runs away listening to what porky said
"Hey w-w-ait for me" porky pig runs away from the tv screen while wile try's to take the anvil from him unfourtinally the height he had lifted before made the rope come back to where he was senting coyote far away.
"dang it they're gone" one if michael's kid exclaims
...
...
GENSOKYO.
MORNING.
SCARLET DEVIL MANSION.
while the tengu still had to warn about the situation. in the scarlet devil mansion while remilia was sleeping(since it was day time) sakuya was cleaning the main room while patchouli was reading on her room(as usual) while flandre was 'playing' with her toys in the obter room pat was surprised marisa didn't come to steal any of her books yet but then in the main entrance something happented one of yukari's gap appeared an yukari herself could be seen
"lady yukari!" Sakuya picks her knife ready to fight
"don't worry sakuya-san i didn't come to disturb you" yukari in a calm tone said
"how can i be certain you're not lieing if you never come here"sakuya said
"why do you think i am here? Listen can you call all of the scarlet devil mansion for me" yukari asks
"what intrest does mistress reimilia has for you?" Sakuya said
"Fufufu none can you wake her up, An come with me"
"if you can at least tell me"
"what a rushed girl i alright i tell you. we have a very big problem in our hand's an i am trying to call all of the residents from gensokyo to a emergence reunion" sakuya sundelly stays calm again after hearing that
"what went wrong?" Sakuya questions
"it would be a waste to explain so i think you should see it by yourself" sakuya gives a confused glare around
"is it really nessesary?"
"if it is an energency than your answear is yes" sakuya then nods with her closes an opens again
"ok. I will call misstress an the obter's"
a few moments later.
"*yawn* ok old hag what do you want with us?!" Remilia who had just woken said
"just like a said before. We have a problem, an we need you all to come for a reunion"
"yukari-san barely even comes here so i already thought something was wrong"pat says in a calm tone
"great but aren't you forgeting someone?" After 3 minutes of silence sakuya remenbers it
"meiling" sakuya then goes to the mansion's gate to glare at the sleeping gatekeeper she then touch's her back
"gaaah *nervous huff* *nervous huff* I AM AWAKE" meiling yells in a scared fashion
"ok so now you can all go now"
"sakuya, why's is she here!" meiling questions
"emergence reunion" yukari then open's a gap waiting for the obter's to enter the first one is pat, then koakuma, meiling, sakuya an then remilia but then before entering she glares at yukari angrilly an says
"you better be serious okay" remi says an then she enter's the gap an then does yukari as well but in the very background. flandre was watching everything from behind the door an took avantage that the gap was still closing an runs really fast at it until she finally reach's it
After that outside aya then throws a newspaper she made involving the incident
...
...
NIGHT.
in a 829 theather most of the residente of gensokyo an the looney tunes had already entered inside of it
failing sounds* coyote finally enter's it our would i say fail. he breaks the building ceiling an lands on the ground but then he notices the fall didn't hurt that much it was because he landed on the 3 fairies luna,sunny an lily everyone didn't notice he was there kept walking on him like if he was a carpet.
"get out my way" daffy duck who looked like he originally was talking a shower exclaims.
"The daffy duck will pass *almost failing* what kind stupid reunion is this you can't even take a shower anymore these days"
"hey there alice i didn't even notice you there ze" marisa realized alice was on the left
"hi. Marisa i was on my house when sunddely yukari came talking about a reunion or something"
"yeah she said the same to me oh boy i sure hate that old hag"
"hey marisa can you tell me where any of these youkais come from?"
"I have no idea, i just came here i am they sunddely apeared i guess. ask reimu she problably know's it" marisa said. After that daffy duck sits in the right chair close to alice they both notice the duck an glare at him in confusion, daffy then notices it an says.
"what?! Never saw a idignated duck in your life!"
"an not really but you look like you came from somebody's lake" alice says dafty's widened
"lake?! What kind of offense is that suppose to be? woman these days don't give as much credits to duck's as the ussed to do" daffy's broading hit alice's face who got very uncoufourtable with it.
"can you stop with your broad on my face!" Alice who seemed very annoyed about it said
"hey hey quiet quiet the little guys want to announce something say something orange" bugs said stuck in a bunch of chains around his body.
"hey that's the youkai who messed up my backward" reimu said from behind the curtain but then somebody takes her away the monstars then pick the microphone an say
"you. all of you. Are our prisoners" everyone from the sits laugh at pound's commentarry embarrasing him after that bupkus takes the mike
"we are trapping you all an bringing to our amusement park"
"A real one" blanko says
"where you will be enslaved an turn into toys for our peasants"bupkus says even tho it still didn't scare the audience a bit
"oh no i am so afraid please don't seduce me with your cuteness an stupidity" daffy duck sarcastically says while running in the hall.
"hahahaha did yukari seriously call us for this?!" Alice says
"I can easily vaporize these little guys with my master spark with no problems ze"
"we are not going anywhere if you think you're going to enslave us you're very wrong friend" sam points his revolvers to the nerdlucks who simply shoots him back with their laser gun making everyone put their hand's in the air for surrender including residents of gensokyo(not all of then)
"it was about time" torihime an toyohime then come out with their weapons
"THE LUNARIANS!!!" all of the residents of gensokyo yell(except for the looney tunes since they don't then)
"why so rushed doc? you can't make us enslaves that's not nice" bugs says while talking the chain around his body with no problem.
"you need to give us a chance to defend ourselfs"
"Like this" futo throws 4 plate in the background but accidentally hits sunny,luna,lily an coyote who had just woken making then fail in the ground again everyone simply just glares at her including miko
"how did thy miss!? thou was in my way" futo exclaims
the nerdlucks simply ignore that an pound glares at bugs
"Oh really? An who said that" pound said regarding bugs last comentarry about defending themselfs. Bugs then picks a book an writes on it he then gives then a re-whited book with the tittle saying how to Capture the nerdlucks pick it up an read a paper saying"give then a chance to defend themselfs"
"Is it true" pound asks
"its on the regulation so?" nawt suggests
"ha its on the regulation so sure" blanko says
"give me a moment little guys" bugs bunny then enter's a door behind him
"Did they seriously believe that? That's something cirno would believe" alice says
"Hey of course not i am the strongest after all"
"are you trying to embarrase your self kid" daffy says
"shut up stupid youkai" cirno says
"how many times will i get offended by children!"
"looks like we are doin' a danmaku battle with those aliens ze"
"i was already going to beat them up for messing with the balance so its only far" reimu says
the camera cuts into a video of bugs bunny in a militar outfit.
"Quick soldier give us the ideal combat camp"
"i-i-i-i know"
"what's up misspeling doc?"
"m-m-maybe we s-s-s-should chalenge them into a-a-a-a-a-a a speling challenge" porky suggests
"Ol maybe we could chalenge then into a match of bowlling hahahahahaha" elmer fudd suggests
"Ssuch sstupidity" slysverter exclaims
"whatss wrong with you guyss i prefer to take a letter an wait for the granny to sleep an eat the bird hahahahaha" slyvester says while there's an animation describing what he's saying
"calm down doc calm down, let's focus on the real problem first ok" bugs bunny said while slyvester simply chuckles nervouly.
"c-c-c-can we just a-a-a-ask t-t-t-those girls from the c-c-c-c-chair if the have any i-i-i-i-i-idea?"
"No of course not i refuse to ask questions to children who don't respect the superior looney tune" daffy exclaims
"then let's analize our competition" bugs said pulling a giant blueprint from above
"good idea" daffy says
the blue print showed art of the nerdlucks an the lunarians
"let's see here they're are tiny aliens from another world" bugs said
"tiny hands, tiny feet" daffy said shinking his menbers to represent then
"n-n-n-not strong"
"not ssmart"
"Can't jump" the 4 tunes then get an idea an do a creepy grin at each obter bugs then tames off the blueprint showing the real 7
"we challenge you into a basketball matchup"
"basketball good catch" pound says
"basketball"nawt says
"Basketball!!" bupkus says
"yay basketball" bang says
"basketball...what is basketball?" blanko said
"I am hungry" Nawt continued
"what is basketball" bang said
"i have no idea" pound says
"is it a sleeping contest?" Bupkus said
"basketball? Does it have something with your impurity" torihime says
"basketball? What even is this?! can't we just solve this in danmaku battle" toyohime says
"Because doc that would be unfair an unfair is the same thing as not giving us a chance" bugs
"the worst part is that it actually makes sense" torihime says
the camera then cuts into a movie preparation in the sit room
"what is this?" satori asks
"its a movie screen, many humans from the outside world use it as form of entertainement" sanae explains
"An what is this white thing i am holding?" Rumia asks
"it is a popcorn a aliment from the outside world primarely used in movie theather's" rumia then tastes it
"Hmmm its not human flesh. But its still good" rumia starts to eat all of it
"hey rumia give one to me" cirno exclaims while they fight for it
"i love this orange thing that's in my pop whatever corn" yuyuko said while youmu simply facepalms
"*Suck*suck* what's this liquide? *Suck* it looks like beer. But its not*suck* its still really good tho" suika says while drinking a giant portion of soda.
"hey if you don't stop kicking the chair's i will punch you in the face!" Nue exclaimed to clownpiece
"why's is it so dark? I can't see anything" sunny said
"what kind of technoloch is this?" Nitori questions
while the movie starts foghorn leghorn is in the way
"hey get down runt!" One of the tunes throws popcorn at foghorn's head after the 3,2,1 the movie starts. It seens to be a explanation of nba an basketball in general while everyone was curious about. sanae was shaking in excitement(she problably know's what basketball is)
"I see so this basketball thing seens to have somesort of relation with the outside world" reimu said
"seens to be somekinda danmaku play ze"
"now introduting you the best played's in the universe" the movie man said putting a smile on the nerdlucks'faces
"the best player's in the universe" pound says
"best player" blanko said
"basketball"bupkus said
"i am hungry"nawt said
...
...
NEW YORK.
OUTSIDE WORLD.
in this basketball match with five of the best player's in the world the nerdlucks enter it disguised in a man's suit while sitting
"This way"pound says
"my head"bupkus exclaims
"are we there yet?"blanko asks
"i am not hungry"bang said
"shhh be quite, she's looking at us"pound announced talking about the woman in the left gazing at the alien's eyes
"my feet hurt"nawt said
"i am still not hungry"bang said
"*Sigh* honey couldn't we get a better sit than this?" The woman said
"why?" The man asked
"i am close to a really weird man here" the woman replied
"Hey you shouldn't talk about obter people in the middle of the game. This is the best place i could get, an also somebody is about to die" the man in a ironic tone said regarding about the game
"Somebody is going to die" pound said
"Really? No way"blanko said
"He's a murderer"bang said
"Look the killer"nawt pointed at the player charles barkley who was about to make a point.
"he's strong"bupkus said
"he's fast"nawt said
"its one of the good ones"blanko says
"he's mine!" Everyone then simply glares in confusion as the disguise fails in the ground. Pound turned himself into somekind of flying jelly he then goes an enter's in charles's mouth. Everyone in the audience was confused with what was happening after a while pound leaves Charles an goes back to the disguise. Charles looked kind of dizzy an didn't what happened. The opose team uses that as a avantage an marks a point making everyone upset an confused, principaly because charles was lifting his hand in the air multiple times like if he was a baby or if he was being controlled by someone.
" i want time" the judge said
"What was that? You're killing us" One of the teamates exclaimed to charles
"ahh i don't know man" charles said in indignation
"you can open it now" the nerdlucks open the disguise with a basketball on it so pound can enter. Pound enter's it an comes back to his original form an the basketball starts to grow
"*Evil chuckles* i took his talent" pound said
"stay here" charles was in a chair with a bunch of people around him(they thought he had a problem)
"Ah i don't know man"
"you're sick dude"
"ahh i am totally fine"
...
...
after the timeout the game continues an so does the talent stealing. the next one is larry johnsonn to get his talent stolen by bupkus litterally minutes after he made score, bupkus enter's inside of him an goes away.
"are you okay man" a teammate said
"No i am fine its just. you know allergy"
the judge then throws the ball but larry is unable to grab it an the ball hit's his face
"Come on feet to arm remenber" the judge throws the ball again but once again larry is unable to grab it(even in the ground) after he finally grabs it he throws the ball really father hitting the popcorn man in the process.
...
in Michael's hotel (where he's talking on the phone) the tv show's a newsrecording talking about the five best nba player's unfourtinate incident while michael glares at it an atending the telephone at the same time.
"yeah i ll be back tommoroy" Michael says
"call your mom for. That" Michael sees the nba player's poorly almost like pre-schoolers being hit in the face by the balls an etc.
"Oh hi honey. Are you watching the tv?" michael says still glaring at the tv
"looks like i ve left in the right time" someome then knocks on the door
"alright i talk later bye" michael turns off the phone while in the bed
"The door is open" who open's the door is what a surprise stan with outfit an everything.
"come one Michael the game is starting soon, come wear your shirt your nike shoes,the cereal, the gatorade, the big mac an we can go to the park" stan says in a fast fashion.
the newsreporting then cuts into a information regarding the nba studio thinking the player's are sick or something.
... ...
GENSOKYO.
BASKETBALL PLAYARD.
after bugs catching a ball he threw at the hole he then gazes at the looney tunes an the residents of gensokyo who were in a retiring sit.
"hey witch of you dorcs have played basketball before"
"certainly not i but perhaps an certain obter shrine maiden did" reimu said talking about sanae who was excited about this.
cirno then moves her hand
"easy all you have to do is throwing a ball in a hole thingy like this" cirno picks bugs's basketball an misses the hole who bounces back in her head
"Ouch" bugs looks at everyone again
"Anyone else" daffy moves a hand
"They say its a sport about cleverness an strategy like this" daffy then does a show dressing up in multiple costumes while fashion music plays.
"my uniform has an special gift of light to those who look at the nunbers an adds glitter to my eyes who fit perfecly with my amazing magnetude
"whoa this duck-youkai really is egostical huh, How does clothing has something to do with strategy ze" marisa asks
"at this point i am deciding if these youkais are stupid or just crazy"reimu says
"maybe we should focus on scaring our opponent" kogasa suggested with her famous umbrella
"or break their teeth" meiling suggested
"we don't even know if that's allowed meiling" reisen said
"I mean if danmaku has rules i am sure this basketball game also has ones" alice said
"uhhh i don't want to play by rules"lily said
"Yeah that's borin- *vomit* *failing off*" suika(who was drunk) fails off the sits
"eeeeyyy"slyvester exclaims
"is she gonna be alright doc?" Bugs questions
"U-uh that i cannot answear" reimu said
"who cares about that idiot. give me the ball so i can mark 40 points in minutes" tenshi said in a arrogant pose.
"can we just start? we are easily going to win, with the exception of the new youkais all of us can fly, those aliens can't" rumia said
"the lunarians remenber" mystia pointed out
"oh right. The lunarians are going to wipe the floor with our body" nitori said
"...not me" mokou afer a few minutes of silence says something
"Our future is hopeless" kokoro said
"hey b-b-b-b-bugs bunny the l-l-l-l-little aliens said they want the c-c-c-c-camp for then" porky said nearby bugs bunny
"sure they can have it" bugs said while everyone was leaving
"we will slash then tommorow so give then a chance sure" youmu said
"the power of the scarlet devil will blind you!" remilia said
"after that i can hunt the wabbits down" elmer said revering to bugs an reisen
"its a shame they can't train to become tailer" the nerdlucks with a tooth grin were ready to expose the basketball.
"did you get the things you wanted already" toyohime asks
"affirmative toyo" pound said
"Please don't call me that" the clouds then started to thunder around the place as the nerdlucks sniff a mini flying from the ball.
"ugh what in the. Are we done? I think i sleept or some-" suika then notices the nerdlucks's strange feeling pound puts his hand in the air from tiny now to a monster's
blasto's feet became giant shoes an his body as well. an the monstrofied bang's turn into spiky things.
GUYS?! GUYS?!!!" Polka yelled as the obter tuurn around
"oh you're finally awa- WHAT IN HOLY HAKUREI GOD IS THIS!!" Reimu yelled
"how did this happen in minutes ze!!"
"*gulp*" the the 3 fairies of pranks tremble in fear while they use cirno as a shield.
"ok now they're definelly cleaning the floor with our body" nitori said while they all gaze at the lunarians an the new an improved nerdlucks.
"now we are talking!" Torihime says
"hahahaha" blanko laughs in a goofy tone "hey piggy..bo" the bad screamer is enough to scare porky to death he then looks downwards him an gazes at the camera saying.
"i-i- t-t-t-t-think i p-p-p-p-pooped" the nerdluck bupkus then picks the ball an says
"time to play some basketball" he then throws the in te ground shattering it an hyaring the playform the obter's were.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"the all yell
"Hey that's my thing!" tenshi exclaims
"How did thou get so big!" Futo says
"they became monsters" daffy says
"Leally big ones" elmer says
"Ssuch sstupidity, they're more than monssterss now, they're monstars" slysverters says. The nerdlucks then destroy the ball with one finger. while they leave(also a building in the background fails down)the lunariasn simply stand by glaring with a confidently grin says.
"Well see you tommorow" toyohime said
"it will be an honor to enslave you or even end your lifes" the two lunarians then fly away in the direction of the new monstars.
"ok ok it was nice to know you but uhhhh daiyou needs me so uhh bye" cirno try's to leave but slyvesyer grabs her
"you're not going anywhere little one" slyvester says with his hands on cirno's body
"ugh. Get off me you don't know who you're dealing with" cirno exclaims. In the very background bugs glares at the camera an says.
"looks like we are gonna need somehelp doc" bugs says
"help? From who?" Reimu asks
"Well if the little alien guys know how to jump now. Then we need someone who know's how to jump. Michael jordan an nba player doc"
"you're cailing a human from the outside world? It won't matter he might be good at basketball but just with him won't help us get through the lunarians an the monstars"
"you ill see soon doc. Now come with me. I need your help doc"
"Ok but promise me you i ll clean my backward after this ok"
Chapter End Notes
Alright done. I was originally gonna also show the part where Michael gets pushed into gensokyo but this story is big enough i ll just leave that to another time. Anyway i hope you enjoyed an happy mother's day there will be a party in my house that i will be participating i hope you have your own.
ok see you later.
Afterword
End Notes
alright its over i know it weird that the beggining of the fic is not the actual intro from space jam but i ll menchion it later.
also the lunarians are not nessesarelly going to be antagonist in this story they i ll act more like anti-hero than also i want to point out that i am not very familiar with then so if you thought they were kinda of uncharacteristic then that's why please be sure to describe what i should do for then any sentence or ANYTHING cause they be more revalent than.
i didn't know how to end this story so i just showed a piece of the initial credits from the movie you can imagine the actual credits in your 'cause i am not doing it
'kay if you found anything wrong please comment to me an i ll see if i can fix it if you have any obter better sentece to request put it in the comments so i can change then alright this should be it
by an have a good day for now(:
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