Ironically, it started at an infertility and pregnancy loss support group. He was tired of sweeping things under the rug and carrying on with a stiff upper lip in the style of Hermione. He was tired of living his life in a fog and pretending like he wasn't constantly dying inside. His father-in-law had seen a kindred spirit and in the style of men everywhere didn't bring it up- he'd simply left the newspaper open with a grief group circled in red.
He had tried to get Hermione to join him, had worked on a convincing argument, but she'd outright dismissed him- said that she certainly wasn't grieving but if he felt like he was to go ahead and attend. He'd lain awake that night like he had so many others, wondering why he felt adrift at sea alone while his co-captain seemed to be safely sailing away.
When he'd walked into the church for his first meeting he hadn't recognized her. The sleek black angled bob was a new look for her, one that seemed to frame her face better but made her almost unrecognizable. It wasn't until he sat in the rickety folding chair and made eye contact with her across the circle that he finally recognized her- Pansy Parkinson. She had virtually disappeared after the war, society unforgiving of the child who wanted to sacrifice The Boy Who Lived. He'd forgotten about her in the time since, focused on his burgeoning career as an auror and his fledgling marriage. In the ten years that had passed she'd changed little except for a hard glint in her eyes he didn't remember seeing before.
The first meeting he sat in silence, invited to speak when he was ready to share with the group. The entire time he felt Parkinson's eyes boring into him, relentless in their pursuit to understand his presence. The second meeting passed in the same manner, although he saw her outside the meeting smoking a cigarette before it began. Part way through the third meeting she spoke, breaking their unofficial standoff.
Pansy stared at him, brow raised, as she shared with the group that today was Patrick's second birthday. She detailed for the newcomers how he had been their most successful pregnancy to date- he'd made it 25 weeks before he decided to enter into this world. Patrick was swept away immediately to the NICU where he spent days being tested and recovering from operations to fix his heart, to relieve pressure to his brain, to help him survive. After two weeks and with the knowledge that their son would be unlikely to make it to his first birthday, Alister, Pansy's husband, decided it would be best to remove him from life support. Pansy detailed how she was hysterical, that she'd needed to be medicated because she wouldn't stop screaming. The entire story was told as she stared at him daring him to judge, daring him to comment.
And so he finally spoke- he shared how his family was known for being fertile and they had been cautious about her inadvertently becoming pregnant. How when they decided five years ago they were ready to be parents they expected it to be easy. That when a baby didn't appear he had been the one uneasy about fertility testing but went forward at her suggestion. They learned that she only had a single working ovary and endometriosis which would make conception difficult. They'd tried everything from old wives tales to IVF and nothing had worked until a year ago. He detailed how excited he'd been to finally be a father, how great it was to feel his daughter moving in the womb, how he had even considered changing careers to be home more often. He talked about the nursery he painted with roses as that had been the only name they could agree on for their child.
Then he told them about how he got an emergency call that his wife was in hospital. That the baby had stopped moving and at first she hadn't thought anything wrong until Hermione realized it had been hours. He detailed how they were informed their daughter had died but how his wife still had to give birth to the baby. He held back tears as he told them about holding his wife during the induction and 10 hours of labor, knowing they wouldn't be taking a baby home at the end of it all. How his wife didn't even want to look when it was all said and done but they had to pry Rose from his arms because he refused to let her go. He told them about how he would sit in the nursery for hours, crying, until one day he returned home to find his wife had converted it back into a guest room. He even went on about how his wife pretends nothing happened, that she never speaks of Rose or having a baby.
The entire time Pansy maintained eye contact, challenging him to tell his story. It was only when he finally finished that she turned away, a vague look of approval on her face.
They were still married when it happened. Alister refused to grant her a divorce, citing his reputation and status within the company as valid reasons. It didn't matter that they hardly spoke to one another, let alone saw one another. Hermione was busy pretending that their marriage was fine despite the fact they maintained separate bedrooms and interacted more like roommates than husband and wife.
The affair hadn't been planned- the first time had been due to their combined desire to actually feel something other than grief. The fact that they were still meeting in secret a year later was something neither thought too hard about.
Pansy had been feeling ill for a few weeks and chalked it up to the fact that she was trying to quit smoking again. It wasn't until she started to gain weight that she began to worry it was something more. A doctor's visit revealed that she was in fact pregnant- 12 weeks along with a fetus that seemed quite content to stay where it was. Having heard this before she decided to say nothing, worried this pregnancy would end in tragedy like the others.
They spent the next few months practicing their skills at avoidance- pretending her ever expanding stomach didn't exist. She ignored the whispering when Ron believed she was asleep, prayers meant to protect her and the baby. She tried hard not to get too excited by a little hand or foot that was visible at times. She took her vitamins and went to her doctor's visits but was determined not to hope too much.
When she finally went into labor at 37 weeks she openly wept, worried about herself and the baby she carried. She sent a patronus to Ron and took a cab to the one place they agreed would be best- St. Mungo's. Neither had a good experience with muggle doctors and hoped that if anything went wrong magic would save their baby.
Marigold Weasley came into the world tabula rasa- a clean slate. It didn't matter that shortly before she was born there had been a screaming match in the hall or that within hours of her birth divorce papers were filed. Marigold was born innocent of all except the original sin of her birth.
When Marigold was asked why her parents had named her such she would tell people the truth- that her name was free of any association so she could have a fresh start. That her parents had wanted a floral name but not one that belonged to another or brought up bad memories like Lavender or Lily or Petunia. Her parents had looked for a name in a botanical text and when her father saw how bright marigolds were he figured it would be fitting for a redhead.
She didn't tell people that this happened in the hospital after her birth, her parents frantic to find a name for a baby they hadn't planned for properly. Nor the fact that her father was well aware his daughter wasn't a redhead like the rest of his family but instead took after her mother. And Marigold definitely didn't tell anyone about how they called her every name in the book but when she smiled at Marigold that was the name they chose.