This is a mortal AU where the gods are a family. Zeus is not Hera's brother, and Ares and Aphrodite are not dating. This goes for any other family romantic love ickyness that happens in actual greek myths.

Hera, Hestia, and Demeter are sisters

Poseidon, Zeus, and Hades are brothers

Ares, Aphrodite, Athena, Hephestus, Hermes, Apollo, Artemis, and Dionysus are Hera and Zeus biological kids.

Things are about to get crazy in the Olympia-Titan (their last names) household! (Titan is Hera's last name.) (Olympia is Zeus's last name.)

They are still dysfunctional, but are much better than when they were gods. They act much more like a family!

Persephone's Hades and Demeters daughter.

Hestia - 46

Hera - 40

Demeter - 43

Hades - 45

Poseidon - 41

Zeus - 40

Ares - 19

Aphrodite - 18

Athena - 17

Hephestus - 16

Apollo - 14

Artemis - 14

Hermes - 13

Dionysus - 12

Persephone - 12

Chapter 1

"I don't know why mom still asks Auntie Hestia to watch us, we're 100% mature enough to behave!" Ares leaned back on the couch and put his feet on the coffee table.

"She's trying to make sure that no one, mainly you, Hermes, or Apollo, burns down the house!" Athena shook her head.

She reached over and grabbed her book, foreseeing the inevitable when Ares would accidently (or on purpose) kick her book off the table.

"Wow, sis, that's nice, real nice." Hermes said in a fake offended voice. Where had he even come from? He hadn't been here a second ago!

"She's right, you know. You guys would've destroyed this place easily if she wasn't here to stop you antics!"

"Shut up, Artemis!" Ares and Hermes barked.

"Jinks!" Hermes pointed at Ares and laughed. "Knock on wood!" He knocked on the coffee table, and grinned. "You can't talk till I say your name three times!"

Ares looked at his little brother like he was contempilating murder, but ultimatly decided against it. Ares might be the eldest, but he was is very childish. He'd abide by the 'rules' of the jinks.

"Where is Aunt Hestia?" Athena asked looking around.

"Backyard." Aphrodite answered from the couch where she was doing her nails, next to Ares.

"She's trying to calmly explain to Apollo and Dionysus why trying to water mom's flowers with gasoline is a bad idea." Hephestus elaborated from the kitchen counter where he wad making hot chocolate for himself.

"Proves my point!" Athena said in a sing-song voice.

Ares glared at her, and opened his mouth to say something profound, but Hermes cut him off. "Ah-ah-ah you can't talk!"

Ares turned his glare on Hermes, and gave Hephestus a pleading look.

Athena stood up, and walked out of the room, not wanting to be in the middle of what she knew was about to happen.

Hephestus smirked. "Give me your dessert for two nights, and I'll help." Ares nodded his head vigorously, and gestured to Hermes.

"Why you abide by this is beyond me, but sure… Hey, Hermes?"

"Yeah, Hephestus?"

"Who can't talk?"

"Ares."

"Who, I'm sorry I'm a bit far away?"

"Ares!" He shouted.

"I'm sorry WHO?"

"ARES!" As soon as the words left Hermes mouth he glowered at Hephestus. It's not fair when your siblings gang up against you.

Ares laughed. "Wow Hermes, you're an idiot!"

Hermes gave them one more glare before running off to his room after muttering something about 'stupid brothers, and sisters', and 'gotta do my homework'...

"Homework, yes, that's what I've forgotten!" Artemis jumped up. "See you all later. Try not to do anything stupid, like the idiots you all are!"

"Shut up." Ares told her. He then grabbed the remote, and turned on the T.V. "Lets watch… I dunno, what should we watch?"

Aphrodtie opened her mouth, but Hephestus cut her off. "We're not watching one of your stupid romances, Aphrodite!"

"We'll not be watching that weird glass blowing show you like either! It's stupid, and boring!"

"How about we watch… a… comedy?" Ares asked.

"How about we not." Aphrodite glared at her brother. Which one you ask? Both.

This argument went on until Dionysus walked in. "Hey, sibs, whats-" He blinked several times as he watched three of his eldest siblings fight over the REMOTE, like what?

"It's mine!" Ares shouted.

"Give it to me!" Aphrodite cried, tackleing Hephestus.

"Not a chance!" He replied.

"And I thought me, Hermes, and Apollo were bad." Dionysus muttered under his breath, but the three feuding idiots still heard him.

"Shut it!" Aphrodite growled.

"F*ck off!" Ares growled.

"Hah! Mine!" Hephestus grabbed the remote from his sister.

She launched herself at him, and the fight began again.

Dionysus ran out of the room again, and returned with Artemis.

"Stop!" They froze. "Don't make me tell Auntie Hestia!"

"Tell me what, sweetie?" Said aunt walked into the room, and pursed her lips at the sight of her niece and nephews fighting like they were ten.

"What is this about." She demanded.

"Aphrodite took the remote from me!" Ares cried.

"Then Hephestus took it from me!" Aphrodite pointed at him accusingly.

"Then Ares stole it from me!" Hephestus crossed his arms.

"I can not believe this! How old are you?!"

"19…"

"18…"

"16…"

"That's what I thought!

Two of you are in college and the other is still old enough to know not to fight with his siblings over a remote of all things!"

"Yes, Auntie Hestia…" They replied together, dejected.

"That's more like it, now where are Apollo, Hermes, and Athena? I ordered pizza for dinner and it should be here soon."

"Athena's probably reading somewhere, and Apollo and Hermes are setting up a prank in Ares's room." Dionysus told her.

"What!" Ares jumped up, and ran down the hall. The family heard him run up the stairs, and two cries of surprise.

Seconds later Ares returned. His hair was spiked up, and glitter covering his biker jacket.

He was also dragging his two prankster younger brothers behind him.

Hestia covered her mouth, and tried to stifle her laughter. Athena ran into the room seconds later, and glared at Dionysus.

"Where. Is. It." She growled.

Dionysus looked terrified for a minute, before he regained his composure. "I don't know what you're talking about, dear sister."

She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "I know you took it."

"And how could you possibly know that?" He asked her.

"Because you're the only, ONLY person in this household who would drink my grape juice! Don't play dumb with me little brother."

Dionysus shook. "It's in the cabinet below the sink. Behind the cleaning supplies." He whimpered.

Athena was scary when she was angry. Said scary sister let go of her brother, and stalked over to the sink where she did indeed find her grape juice.

Hestia sighed, and was about to say something about not trying to kill your siblings when the doorbell rang.

That caused their aunt to smile. "Pizza's here everyone!" She opened the door, and set three large pies on the table.

"Your mother and father will not be home for dinner, they have an important business conference.

But Aunt Demeter, Uncle Hades, and your cousin Persephone will be here shortly.

As will your Uncle Posideon."

As they say, the more the merrier! ...But not in this family…

A/N: Please tell me what you think of this story! Should I keep it as a 3rd POV, or alternate between family members? They'll be a little OOC at points so for that I'm sorry. This story doesn't have an updating schedule. I will try to update once a week, but no promises! Thanks for reading and PLEASE REVIEW!! - dragon628