A Cause Worth Being Selfish For
Neville finds the only thing worth deserting his friends for
QLFC Round 5: We All Have Our Flaws
Tutshill Tornados, Chaser 3
Prompt: Selfishness
Words: 1619
Optional prompts:
(dialogue) Flourish and Blotts
(object) pocket watch
(word) fleeting
He smelled her before she even entered the room. Ash, decay and death reeked off of her from the end of the hallway, but you couldn't really blame the girl after what had just happened.
At first it had been just a regular surveillance mission that seems to happen everyday now, but it quickly descended into madness. With how the war had gone downhill recently, Neville should really have expected it, it's just that it was honestly becoming too tiring to think lately.
It had started two Christmases ago when Hermione and Harry had visited Godric's Hollow in a trip that had seemingly cost them the war. When Neville had finally been reunited with the pair a long time after, he had reluctantly been told the whole ordeal. In the shadows of his Nan's tent, he had watched the girl describe the series of events that had led to them losing a horcrux.
By this time, their existence was common knowledge within the Order and Neville couldn't help but ponder on how stupid their actions had been. They had been safe in the knowledge that they were the only ones that knew about the Horcruxes, and yet had decided to go into battle wearing one. Not only that, but they had also lost it and failed to kill the snake, effectively losing their advantage and letting the Death Eaters know what they were doing.
After that, it wasn't very long before Voldemort had moved the other ones and returned to England, cracking down on the Ministry with the elder wand in hand. The Order gathered to fight underground and when the 'Golden Trio' had finally realised that they had nowhere else to turn, they joined them with their tails between their legs. The fleeting hope they offered with their arrival was soon crushed once everyone realised that it was their fault that so many lives had been lost.
After that, the hunt was on to find the remaining horcruxes and now that they were lost again, this meant that we had to start from scratch. We often wasted lives on dangerous missions that rarely gained much more insight into their whereabouts, and even when we got a lead, within a number of days the Death Eaters would move it again. It was infuriating.
That was until today, when a simple scouting mission had revealed more information than we had gained in months, and there was only one person available to help them.
"Neville, what are you doing?" Hermione's small voice called from the doorway as he continued to pack his bag, "They said we could stay in this safehouse while we plan your mission. After they burned all the books, no one ever comes into Flourish and Blotts anymore."
Unable to stop himself, he scoffed, "My mission? So am I in charge now?" He reached into his closet to yank out the few items he still possessed, thinking of the way that he could hurt her the most, "I thought we were supposed to be still following Harry, or has he forgotten about us again?"
Hermione visibly flinched and looked down at her soot caked nails, "You know that he's no longer allowed on field missions anymore," her voice was quiet and broken, "Not that you'd be able to get him out of his room nowadays anyway."
Neville laughed coldly at her response, sarcastically sneering in a way that his past self would shy away from, "Oh yeah, I'd forgotten that our supposed saviour had completely lost the plot. Thanks for reminding me!"
Hermione sniffed loudly, "Don't be unkind. You know that it's been hard for him."
"Hard for HIM? He's the one that got them all killed, that got her killed, and now all he can do is shake and chant in his room. I'd rather protect someone that is actually useful for something."
A flicker glimmered at the back of Hermione's eyes for a second and he almost saw the ferocity that he had fallen in love with when he was twelve, "He's trying his hardest, we all are!"
Neville couldn't help but snigger darkly at her protective tone over her friend, "I don't think he's even capable of that anymore, do you? We all know that Tonks is the only one that is keeping us together nowadays." He paused a moment and glanced at her, "Unless you count Ron."
She stiffened and shook her head, the righteous light in her eyes dying out before replying, attempting a smile in order to stop his angry tone, "Don't forget about you, we need you more than ever now."
He looked down at the trousers that he had paused from packing and turned away from her to put them in his bag, "Not anymore. I need to go."
The silence that followed his statement was thick and he swore she didn't breathe until she asked, "What do you mean?"
He looked back at her and sighed, realising that he had been lashing out because he was scared, "I mean exactly what I said."
Her eyes inflated for a second in surprise and she spluttered, "But you can't leave now, we can't do this without you."
Neville sunk backwards onto his bed and looked her in the eye, "And that's exactly why I have to go. With Sprout gone and with the public turned against us, then that makes me the leading source of knowledge on herbology that we have."
Hermione still looked confused and for some reason that only proved to make him feel more frustrated, "If You-Know-Who's Horcrux is taken from a den of plants that only I know how to get around then it means that I'll be targeted." Comprehension dawned as she too looked towards the cot that was tucked into the corner of the room, "And if that happens then you know as sure as I do that I won't be the only one to pay the price."
Hermione paused before murmuring the hollow assurances that he had heard her tell countless over people in the past, "I'm sure it will be fine, the Order safe houses are the best place for you to be at the moment." As she continued to recite her lines, her eyes glazed over and Neville recognized one of her absent episodes taking over. He couldn't blame her of course, they all had their own ways of coping, but at least hers wasn't quite as violent as Ron's.
He closed his eyes and was instantly reminded of the sight of one of their safe houses that had been apprehended last summer. The occupants of that house did not look fine. If he didn't know better, he would have assumed that it was Ron that had got to them first rather than the Death Eaters. Even as he thought back on it now, he couldn't help but remember the silhouette of his Nan lying in the doorway, clearly having fought to her last breath to protect the people that had been put into her care.
Neville reached into his bedside table to collect the pocket watch that was all that he had left of her and sighed, remembering the morning of his seventeenth birthday when he had first received it. Back when the world was still put to rights.
Checking the time, he realised that he would have to hurry if he wanted to get them out of the country today in the way that he had bargained for with his informant. He turned back to Hermione, but she was still mumbling out some half garbled reassurances. Neville rolled his eyes and began to pack some baby clothes.
In the moments before he woke up his daughter he turned back to the woman who had once been his friend, taking in a much softer tone so not to scare her out of her panicked state. "Hermione, we're going to go now, but I need you to promise me that you won't tell Ron until we're out of the country."
She shook her head as she came back to herself and registered the packed bag on my back, "Noooo, I said you need to stay. I can't do this without you!"
He sighed and gestured to where they were standing on the sparsely populated shelves of her once favourite shop, "I know you've been reclaiming books, so I'm sure you'll find something eventually."
She stared agast before replying, "But you know that by the time I've found anything that they'll have moved the horcrux again."
Neville glanced away from her, knowing that it was true and yet uncaring if it meant that he and his daughter would be able to get out of the country safe, "That might happen, but I can't take the risk with her around anymore."
Hermione continued to stare at him as she took in what he was saying, "So you're just going to leave us now that we have our first chance in months of a successful mission? One that we will surely fail without you?" She looked incredulous at how he failed to respond.
A switch flicked and she an air of the old Hermione Granger condescension dripped into her tone, "I always thought that you were pathetic and spineless, but not selfish to this degree."
Neville only shrugged before reaching into the cot to pick up his still sleeping new-born daughter, the words no longer hurting him now that he had a reason to act in this way. Now that he had a daughter to protect, he was happy being selfish for the both of them.
He only hoped that they made it to the Channel Tunnel on time before Ron caught up with them.
I didn't really enjoy this round too well but feel free to read and review!