She'd been there every night he was in hospital. He smelt her perfume and held her hand as he drifted into blissful sleep. He dreamed of her and how she made him feel. He dreamt of how things could be if he were a braver man, willing to take risks in his personal life. He dreamt of being a husband, a father and a lover.
He was not used to such wonderful dreams. He was glad to be free of the nightmares of Bagdad that had haunted him for years. But he was unconfident whether it was her presence or the drugs that soothed him into his heavenly slumber, and was unsure whether he'd cope with her absence when he was discharged.
Her honey voice a soothing balm to his soul. Before the doctors and nurses filled him with anxiety (touching him, poking and prodding him) she'd run her nails through his curls whispering soothing nonsense. Her sweet voice making him forget his fears.
When She'd leave to pick up Ralph from school every afternoon he couldn't begrudge her- she always came straight back quickly with Ralph and he loved seeing his little Mentee. But the moment she left to fetch Ralph he felt like a vice gripped his heart. The fear of her leaving with Drew overwhelming him even though he knew she would return. As he worked himself up he would hyperventilate, his heart would pound and he'd unintentionally set his alarms off. He knew he'd never be released if he couldn't get a hold of himself. But did he even want to be discharged? The hour or so of pain in his heart was surely worth it when he got to sleep with her so close?