watch?v=fLi0lQcHxgw Chapters based on the lyrics from "Stubborn Love" by The Lumineers

Chapter 1: It's Better to Feel Pain

Emma Nolan stared at herself in the mirror, the white gown hugging the curves of her hips as the material jutted out behind her, flowing into a long swirl of creamy white silk behind her. It was the wedding dress of her dreams. Growing up she never imagined she would get the chance to wear it, much less afford it. Lately everyone kept telling her what a fairytale her life had become and how lucky she was to be marrying Walsh Oz, billionaire extraordinaire, New York's most eligible bachelor.

Lucky was one way to put it, but lately, Emma just felt trapped.

She knew she was being irrational and completely selfish. Women had been lining the block simply to get a hello from Walsh, and all she did was walk into one of his hotels and he was captivated by her. At first it was a dream come true. Walsh took her to all the best restaurants, the most lavish parties, even flying her to London on his own private jet to celebrate their one-year anniversary.

Her parents were enamored with her fiancé, she didn't fault them for it. Her parents always wanted the best for their daughter. Walsh could provide her things they could never afford or even imagine owning themselves.

"Oh my God, Emma, sweetie, you look beautiful." Emma looked in the mirror to see her mother's reflection, her cheeks beaming red, her eyes full of pride. She managed a smile and flattened the material around her hips.

"What is it? Is it the dress?" Her mother's expression turned anxious, and Emma bit her lip.

"No, it's fine. The dress is perfect."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm getting everything I ever dreamed of." She sighed. "Just…" Her mom stepped up on the platform next to her. "How did you know dad was the one?"

"Well…I don't think it was one thing. When I met your father, I was young and stubborn. It wasn't exactly love at first sight. In fact, the first time I met him, I thought he was so cocky that I threw my drink in his face."

Emma laughed. "You did not."

"I did, he walked up to me, and introduced himself with the stupidest pick-up line."

"No! Dad was one of those guys?"

"I believe he told me that I could stop looking because I had just met the man of my life."

Emma groaned, hardly believing that her dad had tried that on her mom. She had heard stories of her mom, strong willed, stubborn, and determined that she didn't need a man in her life.

"And yet you still married him."

"Let's just say he grew on me."

"Dad isn't one to give up."

"No, he definitely isn't. I think that's where you get it from." Emma frowned. "Emma what is it?"

"I don't know, I just…" She paused, unsure how to say what was bothering her. "Do you think I'm giving up. Getting married to Walsh?"

"Giving up? What do you mean? You love Walsh. Don't you?"

"Of course, I do. I mean…I'd be crazy not to."

"Emma…" Her mother started to fuss with the train on her dress.

"Mom, it's fine, honestly, I'm just nervous." Emma deflected, adjusting the veil on her head. She was getting married in a week. She was just getting cold feet, that was all. Of course, she loved Walsh. She'd be an idiot not to. She exhaled and stared at her reflection.

"You really are a beautiful bride."

"Thanks, mom."

"It's ok to be nervous. Every bride is nervous before their wedding." Her mom squeezed her hand. "When do you and the girls leave?"

Emma checked her phone. "Crap, Ruby is stopping by in three hours. I need to get home and pack."

"Well, I think we're all done here. You guys are going to be careful right? Don't drink too much and get plenty of sleep."

"Mom, it's a bachelorette weekend, not a church revival." Emma rolled her eyes.

"I know but it's so close to the wedding."

"Don't worry, Ruby has everything planned out."

"Yes, that's what worries me." She laughed.

"Belle helped her plan the trip, and you know that Belle would never do half the stuff Ruby does, so I think everything will be fine."

Her phone began ringing on the chair next to the dressing room door. Emma stepped off the ramp and saw Ruby's face pop up on the screen. She slid across the screen to accept the call.

"Girl, are you ready for some debauchery and drunken parties!" Emma closed her eyes and turned toward her mom.

"She's joking." She faced the phone. "Seriously Ruby, don't freak my mom out."

"Sorry, Mrs. Nolan, I'm just kidding, we are going to be doing a lot of volunteer work at a local church in…"

"Nice try Ruby." Her mother said with a roll of her eyes. "Just make sure she comes back safely and in one piece."

"You've got it, mom." Ruby nodded. "You can trust me."

"I trust Belle. I only partially trust you."

"Ouch."

"I still remember senior year." Her mother continued and Ruby groaned.

"You make one mistake, and no one ever forgets it."

"I hardly believe that 2 days in county lock up counts as a mistake." Her mother pulled the veil from Emma's hair and sat it on the chair. "Just bring her home in one piece, Ruby."

"Yes, mom. I promise."

"I'm headed home now to pack."

"You haven't packed yet? You are always the last to do anything. Belle's been packed for 3 weeks."

"Yes that's because Belle is a control freak and has no life."

"Just be ready by the time we get there."

"I can't do that until you hang up."

"Goodbye, bitch." Ruby's face disappeared from the screen and Emma felt her mother's hands on her back, unlacing the straps on the dress.

"Please be safe this weekend." Her mother said softly.

"I will mom, it's just a short road trip to Maine."

"You know I worry when you go to the store."

Emma laughed. "I'll message you along the way. Will that make you feel any better?"

"I love you." Her mom said seriously. Emma stared at her mom, a smile spreading on her face.

"I love you too, Momma."

Emma finished getting dressed back into her clothes and left her mother at the front of the store. She drove back to her apartment, trying to remember everything that she needed to pack when she got back home.

Her phone rang again, and she clicked the button on her steering wheel to accept the call from Walsh.

"Hey babe." She announced as the call connected.

"Emma, darling, have you left yet?"

"Nope, just headed home from my last dress fitting."

"Do you really need to go today?"

"You know the answer to that."

"I don't see the point to this trip."

"I just want to spend time with my best friends before we leave for Italy."

"I don't like it. Three women traveling across country alone isn't safe."

"We'll be fine."

"Why can't you fly? I can have my pilot fly you there."

"Because we want to do a road trip. Like we did our senior year."

"But you have a jet, Emma. Driving is so…beneath you now."

"We talked about this; I want to do this." Emma sighed. She was tired of having this argument with him. Back in their senior year, Ruby, Emma, and Belle had taken an epic road trip on senior skip day. They just wanted to relive these moments before things changed. Walsh would never understand, he hadn't been a normal teenager. He had been raised with wealth since he was born. He didn't enjoy the mundane things like driving his own car or taking a trip without a personal chef.

"Just promise me you'll be careful." He paused before continuing. "Are you sure you don't want to stay at my hotel up there? The penthouse would be much better than whatever room Ruby could have booked."

"Would you stop that, Ruby saved for two months to afford to take me on this trip."

"And I told you she didn't have to do that."

"That's not the point, she wanted to do this for me."

He groaned, "Fine, just call me when you get there."

"Of course, I will."

"I love you darling."

"Yeah you too." She said quickly, hanging up the phone and pulling into the parking garage. She lived alone in an apartment near the water. Walsh hated that she wanted to live there until after the wedding. He hated the fact that she lived in this area of town, but she didn't see anything wrong with it.

Sure, there was a homeless guy who lived in the alley, but Emma thought Leroy was just a grumpy old man who was down on his luck. Sometimes she would make herself an extra sandwich for lunch and drop it off to him on her way to work. He would grumble and moan about not needing a handout, but he always thanked her when she returned home from work.

Her favorite part of the apartment was the balcony. She had the best view of the harbor that no amount of money could pay for. She spent her evenings sitting at the tiny table, drinking her cocoa, and watching the boats sail in for the evening. It was her tiny piece of heaven. And the one thing she was going to miss most about moving to Walsh's city penthouse. She looked over at the easel propped against the wall, her latest painting still sitting unfished on the wooden stand. She ran her fingers over the majestic swan lightly etched in the center of the pond waiting for a coat of paint to give it justice. She would finish it once she returned home from her trip.

She took one last look at the docks in front of her and hurried back into her apartment to pack her bags before Ruby would arrive. Emma met Ruby Lucas on the playground in 1st grade. Emma was hiding under the slide, away from the teasing taunts of her male classmates when Ruby walked over to the biggest of all the boys, knocked him backwards into the sand and growled at him. They had been best of friends ever since. When Belle French moved to their school in 4th grade, her nose stuck in a book, a shy smile creeping on her face when anyone approached her, Ruby and Emma made it their mission to draw her out of her quiet existence.

The three had become inseparable once they reached junior high school. They had a pact that they would always be there for each other, no one would ever mess with any of them. And no male would ever come between them.

They had been tested throughout the years. Their pact threatened to dissolve when Belle and Ruby found out they were both sleeping with the same man. Graham Humbert never knew what hit him when instead of turning on each other, they confronted him and both women left him alone that evening.

When Emma was first approached by Walsh, she wanted to turn and run away from all the attention he suddenly thrust upon her. She didn't feel worthy of all the extravagant gifts and flowers, but Ruby and Belle convinced her that she deserved to be treated like the princess she always dreamed of being. Eventually she got used to the way that Walsh showed his affection through a new diamond bracelet or an overnight trip to the Eiffel Tower. Even if sometimes she felt like he only did it for the cameras or to earn a positive write up in the paper whenever a negative news story was threatening to brew about one of his corporations.

Emma pushed the negative thoughts from her brain. Walsh loved her. He asked her to marry him. Emma Nolan was about to be Mrs. Emma Oz.

She scrunched her nose and groaned. It was such a stupid name. Oz. When she first heard about Walsh, she thought the last name was a joke, there was no way his last name was out of a storybook with a tornado and munchkins. When she finally met him and he told her the story of how he legally changed his family name of Oswald to Oz so that his business empire would be named the Land of Oz and he would be its ruler, she almost choked on her tea and walked out of the restaurant.

Emma Oz. Utterly Ridiculous.

Her front door swung open, and Emma heard Ruby and Belle's voices through the hall. "I'm back here." She yelled.

"Tell me you aren't still packing!" Ruby exclaimed as she entered the bedroom.

"Of course, I'm not. I'm just…" She bit her lip. "Checking to make sure I didn't forget anything." She lifted the few items she had in the bag.

"Looks like you forgot almost all of it, Emma." Belle teased.

"You have been procrastinating for weeks on this trip. Are you sure you want to go?" Ruby whined.

"Of course, I want to go, I would go anywhere with you two losers."

"Aww, we love you too." Ruby cooed, wrapping her arms around her waist and tugging Belle into their mashed-up bodies.

"Ok this is getting us nowhere. Let me finish up, I promise it's only going to take me five minutes."

The girls retreated to the kitchen while Emma finished shoving items into her bag. It wasn't that she hadn't been looking forward to this trip. She really did want to spend time with Ruby and Belle. But after this weekend, the only thing left was the wedding and maybe deep down she wasn't really ready for that to happen.

She took one last look around her room to ensure she hadn't forgotten anything and tossed the bag over her shoulder.

"It's about time."

"Hey now, I'm the bride, shouldn't I get more time than the rest of you?"

"You're the one marrying a billionaire bachelor, if anyone needs more time to get ready for this trip it should be us. We haven't found our sugar daddy yet." Ruby shrugged.

"Walsh is not my sugar daddy." Emma scolded in reply. "So, are we going to waste more time, or can we get going now?"

"Are you ready to enjoy your final week of freedom?" Belle teased.

"One last week to get down and dirty." Ruby replied as she bumped her hip against hers.

"Are either of you going to tell me what you have planned?"

"Nope." Ruby said simply, grabbing her bag from her hand and walking out the door.

"I call shotgun." She yelled, chasing after her friends.

Sitting in the car, singing at the top of her lungs, was everything she could have ever asked for to distract her from her apparent case of cold feet.

If you wanna be my lover
You gotta get with my friends
Make it last forever
Friendship never ends

Belle and Emma continued singing loudly as Ruby pulled off the road suddenly.

"Please tell me this is not where we are staying?" Emma looked around at the forest surrounding each side of the small road they were traveling on. Ruby insisted they take an off-road route on their way to Maine. She called it Emma's Exploration Highway.

"Of course, we aren't staying here, this is just one of the stops on the Emma Exploration Highway Express."

Emma groaned. "Stop calling it that."

"Come on, what happened to that crazy girl we grew up with? Just because you are about to be hitched doesn't mean you can't have a little fun."

"Hey, I'm still that same girl." She complained.

Ruby held up a bag in her hands and smirked. "Well then, let's get adventurous."

Belle hopped out of the car, popping the trunk, and pulling out a cooler and a blanket. Emma looked around anxiously at the lush forest surrounding them. She had no idea what her friends had planned but whatever it was, she knew she would never forget this week with them. She was lucky to have friends that cared so deeply for her. People she had known almost her entire life that still knew her as Emma Nolan. Maybe if she still had them, she wouldn't lose her identity when she became Mrs. Oz.

"So, what exactly are we doing?"

"Follow me." Ruby winked mysteriously and she followed her down a dirt trail to the edge of a mountain. She could hear water rushing loudly over the side of the cliff. Leaning forward to peek over the edge she saw a waterfall cascading toward the ground far below her. The water sped off down a quick moving river and through the dense forest below them. She could see where it split off down two paths into a larger river, with a fast-moving current tossing water against the rocks. Beyond that it was a mystery, the lush forest cradled together to hide the beauty it kept beneath it. The view was breathtaking.

"Ok future Mrs. Oz, it's time to give your man a reason to miss you."

Emma looked down at the items being dumped out onto the blanket and blushed. "No way. I'm not putting any of that on."

"Oh, come on, live a little, I bet that man will jizz in his three-piece suit when he sees pictures of you wearing this."

"Ruby, it's supposed to be sensual, not dirty." Belle corrected her friend.

"Oh my God, stop. I don't want you to ever think about my future husband like that." Emma pinched the bridge of her nose. She held up on of the lacey items in front of her face. Emma never really wore lingerie. It made her feel exposed, and Emma didn't like to feel like she was not in control.

Emma was always in control of herself around Walsh. She wasn't a virgin, but sex with Walsh was almost clinical. They had a way they did things, and they didn't deviate from them. They always had sex in bed, removing the comforter before their clothes came off. Walsh would kiss her, touch her breasts, and then complete the act on top of her. Afterwards, he would insist they both shower so as not to dirty the sheets. He preferred things to be clean and tidy at all times.

At first Emma found him to be odd, almost robotic, but after a while she became acclimated to the process. At times enjoying the fact that she didn't have to go out of her comfort zone to please him. He never seemed to want more from her, and she didn't offer.

But she always wondered if after they were married that maybe he might be interested in more. One time during their initial dating period, she tried to coax him into having a quickie in a janitor's closet at one of his hotels. At first he seemed intrigued, almost turned on, until she kicked over a mop bucket, spilling the dirty water all over the floor and causing Walsh to immediately retreat from the room in disgust.

She was sure that getting photos of her in sexy lingerie out in the middle of nowhere might shock him. Maybe it would be good to show a different side to him, give him a taste of the woman he was marrying. Maybe he would take her the moment she returned home. The thrill of a man tearing her clothes from her body because he desired her so greatly made her body shiver. She bit her lip, reaching for one of the long, black see-through nighties and slipping her fingers against the fabric.

Live a little, Emma.

"Oh, that one is perfect for your light skin. Hell, I'd do you in that. Remember 9th grade?" Her eyebrow rose and Emma blushed.

She slapped Ruby on the shoulder. "Hey, we said we'd never talk about that again."

"Try it on." Belle giggled, taking a swig of one of the beers from the cooler.

Emma peeled off her shirt, unclasping her bra and tossing them to the side of the blanket, she dragged the black lace over her head and slipped her arms through the hole. Standing up she slid her yoga pants down her legs and spun around. "Well?"

"You can't wear those ridiculous boy shorts under it. You have to take them off, Em."

Emma groaned. "Fine. But take these pictures quickly. I don't want anyone else to see me." She tucked her thumbs into her underwear and quickly dragged them down her legs, tossing them with the rest of her clothes and walking toward the top of the waterfall.

"Now what?" She turned back to her friends who were following her with Belle's Nikon camera.

"Sit on that rock." Ruby pointed toward the water.

"That's in the middle of the creek bed. I don't want to get wet."

"But it has the best view. The water isn't even that deep." Ruby kicked off her sandal and stood in the shallow water. "Besides, the pictures will look so amazing with the backdrop." Emma looked at where the waterfall slid over the side of the mountain. The view was almost ethereal. Even if Walsh didn't like the pictures, Emma had never felt more beautiful standing in the cool water, the black silk material swirling around her in the stream.

She tiptoed out into the center of the creek bed, sitting down onto the large rock in the center and pulling the wet material up over her legs. The rock was slippery and cold against her flesh. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this.

"Ok now you have to pose." Belle laughed, trying not to fall in the water as Ruby crept closer to her with the camera pointed toward her.

"I don't have the first idea how to do this." She groaned.

"Just act natural." Ruby began snapping pictures, moving around the angles carefully as Emma tried to casually move around the rock. She had no idea how to be sexy.

"I said natural, you're trying too hard."

"Ugh, Rubes, maybe this is a bad idea, sexy just isn't in my nature."

"Are you kidding, look at you, naked, sitting on a rock in the middle of nowhere. You are sexy." She continued to click the button, even as she spoke, and Emma finally sighed.

"Ok, be sexy." She whispered to herself, leaning backwards on the rock to push her lips into a pout for the camera.

"There you go, make him want it." Ruby cheered.

Emma lifted her arms over her head, looking backwards at the sun above her. Suddenly the rock beneath her shifted, rolling backwards as Emma slid toward the water. She grasped for the rock, or anything to stop her forward momentum as she raced toward the end of the cliff. She looked back toward her friends as she went under a swell of water at the apex of the cliff, gulping as she swallowed and choked. Her nails scratched the nearby rocks, trying to get a grip on the rough surface.

The water seemed to get deeper and faster, and she was getting turned around, her eyes sought the sky, then she was under water, gulping, screaming, watching as the edge of the cliff came closer and closer, until she hit something hard, and everything went black.