Well then, here I am. My first fanfic. This idea has kinda been building up inside my head up until I decided that I had to put it somewhere

So what better place to do so than the internet, where anyone can read it?

Hopefully, you'll enjoy my attempt at storytelling

Now, on with the debut!

Chapter 1: Gregory, why does this pit smell like rotting corpses?

Holy fucking shit.

I pick myself off the cold floor ("why am I on the floor?") and groggily blink my eyes.

Is this what a hangover feels like? Note to self: further encourage myself to never drink alcohol: this shit hurts!

Now on my knees, I inspect the room I've found myself in. It's dark, and the walls seem to be made of some kind of stone. And to top it all off are metal bars. Conclusion: I have been imprisoned!

Truly, a wonderful environment to wake up to.

Oh, there's even a little puddle of...something. I crawl up to it and examine it. It's too dark in the cell to determine the liquid's color, but it's clear enough for me to see my reflection.

Right, a physical inspection is in order! I am male. Human. Homo-sapien. Apparently I haven't cut my hair in a while cause it's frigin ugly. My hair is black, nothing special there. It's short though, and coupled with the bad hair day? It doesn't even look like spiky anime protag hair. The small strands sticking out add to my disheveled state. It just looks...sad.

My clothes are nothing to write home about. Simple (and itchy!) cloth pants and shirt accompanied by a rope on my waist. Guess whoever put me here didn't have the funds to afford an actual belt...

My skin color, under normal circumstances, would have a light undertone. Think Caribbean tan. But here? Well I've obviously been away from the sun for a while cause I'm noticeably more pale.

Oh, and my eyes. Their brown.

I unconsciously move my face closer towards the puddle, awing at my paler skin. I didn't just get here. I've been here, and for a while at that! B-but I don't remember anything though...

Hoh shit, freaky Fridays man.

I begin to recline my face away from the pud-"I hope your not drinking from that!" Da faq? Who in the what-

"Over here laddie, forward and to the left!" I get back on my feet and practically jump towards the bars left of me, but I make sure not to press my face against them. The last thing I want is to catch some kinda disease here. I follow the voice, moving my eyes forward then to the-

"Quick one, ain't ya? Like I was sayin, ya don't wanna go drinking from things on the floor!" Fuck, this really is a prison. The guy, who's a man by the way, is in a prison cell identical to my'n. I can't make out his face through the bars but I think he has some height to him.

There also a funky blue something on his cell door. So they can afford SFX here, but not actual clothes? Eh, whatever. Now what was that about drinking puddles?

The man continues his sagely advice! "That shit's either blood, piss, vomit or...well, shit!

I don't know what's the norm here, but licking anything off the floor is the last thing I'd wanna do. "Why the fuck would I lick it?"

"Well, you we're definitely gonna at least touch it!"

"I-I was not!"

"Ah, don't kid ya self, I saw the way you were eyeing that puddle!"

...Ah shit. He got me me there. I relent. "...ok, fair." Not less than five minutes here and I'm already getting outed as a weirdo.

The man laughs gregariously. "Ahaha! Don't worry yourself, human curiosity and all that! It's in our nature! In fact..." The man gestures, or at least I think he's gesturing, towards the cells right of me. "This place has all kinds of things that pique the human curiosity!"

He starts pointing to the cells around us. The nearest to me is-fuck the what?

"Daemons!" What the fuuuuuck. He's pointing towards a cell with a frigin goblin in it. It's green and furry! Did I die and go to hell!?

...He's also looks done with life. He's just kinda, like, staring at the floor.

"Broken men!" He points at a cell with a guy who's missing a fuckin leg. He too seems to have caught a case of depression. No shit he's broken...

"And now..." he points a finger towards my cell, and meets my eyes with his. "You."

...Right, okay. I decide to comment on everybody's misery. "Everybody here is really sad."

The man chuckles, this time somberly. "Ha, well...This is a prison. And nobody here has any hopes of getting out." He raises his voice. "Ain't that right Charlie?!"

The aforementioned goblin-thing audibly groans. "Hmmmrrgg." Lil Shrek's really not feeling it today, huh?

"So!" He claps his hands. "What're ya in fo? Ya look like a teen. Little too young for these parts!"

Ok, thinking time! So I was in my bed (a bed which didn't share the planet with fairy tale creatures mind you), and then I woke up here.

...I think there's something wrong in that testimony.

I get outta my thinking trance and look back to my neighbor. "I got nothing." He gives me a look. "L-like, I don't remember."

A pause. Then, a response. "You musta done something reeeaaal bad then. Chances are they had ya memory wiped."

They did what. "They can do that!?"

The man nods, his arms crossed above his stomach and eyes closed. "Mhm. Exorcist and their artes...you'd have an easier time naming the things they can't do."

Fuck shit fuck. Everything's moving too quick. Too much words. Head hurts. Need sleep. "Artes?" I pipe up. "Like, magic?"

"...What else would ah be referrin to?"

Suddenly, a slam of something against metal. A resounding "thoom" echoes throughout our cells. "KEEP IT FUCKIN QUITE DOWN THERE!" Rude. Also, ow, there goes my hearing.

My prison compadre groans, lowering his voice to a whisper. "By the Empyreans do I hate this guy. Way worse than the last guard."

Ah yes, jail drama, my favorite kind of drama. "What made him so great?" That, and it ain't like I'll be going anywhere anytime soon. You know, I haven't really had time to contemplate my situation! Everything's just moving so fast.

The jail friend grins good naturedly. "Well for one, that good egg actually let us sing!"

"Tha-thap, tha-thap, tha-thap."

My fellow inmate promptly shuts up, and we both turn to where the footsteps are coming from. They're getting louder now...!

Cell frie-ya know what!? I'm just gonna call him Gregory, he looks like a Gregory. Gregory's kinda dancing in place now, he's having a full on panic attack!

Ok, now he's basically doing somersaults! "D-dude, calm down, who's that?" Calm the fuck down man, your making me panic too...!

Greg promptly ignores my advice and begins hyperventilating. "Huff, it's them! It, huff, it's, huff, it's theeeeem!" Well Greg, if they weren't gonna kill you for yelling before they definitely will now!

Shit, wait, it ain't just him. The prisoners all around are now looking up in fear, anticipation, along with what I can only assume to be morbid curiosity! I-is somebody about to get offed!?

The foot steps are deafening now. Looks like it's just two people. The people in question turn the corner and-what.

The fuck.

They look like fuckin cultists. Their robes...costumes...uniforms? I dunno what they are. They're mostly white, with gold accents and trimmings. The fronts of them in particular have an especially large yellow accent running down the middle. It vaguely resembles an arrow. And don't get me started on their helmets, they're just plain goofy lookin. They're square-like, and have a big yellow V-shaped Visor.

Wanna know what they remind me of? Sentai shows! Or more specifically, the goons that'd get indiscriminately trounced on by the main heroes. Well actually, they do seem to have a holy motif going for them. So I suppose that could also make them the law enforcement that gets hopelessly slaughtered by the villains.

They're also armed. One of them sports a weird lookin rectangle sword, and the other has a golden three pronged staff. And it ain't even sharp, it's blunted. Oooh how terror inducing. Are they gonna wack me with their comically-shapes weapons? I still don't understand what I should be afraid of, my disappointment is immeasurable! Two outta ten, would not get imprisoned here again!

...Huh. Weird. Ya know, they kinda look familiar to m-

"Cla-clack" Whadawut? "Wha-ACK!"

The goons open my cell by doing something and promptly grab me. Shitshitshitshitshit. I'm too fuckin afraid and confused to do anything...!

As I'm dragged through the spacious hallway, the myriad shaped prisoners all jeer, cheer, and yell.

"Feed em to the Daemon, yeah yeah!"

"Another one huh? Next time, will I be..."

"Shit, wait, this guy's human!"

"Blood for the blood god!"

"B-but he's so young."

"I can't see em, lemme see em!"

"Waitwaitwait he's not a Daemon?!"

I'm getting mixed signals here guys...!

The duo continue dragging me off, passing other guards wearing similar uniforms.

...Ok, I've calmed down now. Let's try to make conversation. "So, where're yo-Oof!" The fucker just elbowed my hips! T-they really don't want people talking here...!

"Save your breath, inmate." That was the guy who harassed my sides. I think I'll call this one Caroline, and the other one Justine. Just for reference.

After walking down and through a series of steps and rooms the guards signal for me to stop.

The chamber we arrive at isn't anything special or different. Same ol walls, same ol cells...there's a vent on the floor though, right in the room's dead center.

Justine walks over to the vent and opens it. So it's a hatch then? Caroline lightly pokes me with his sword and I awkwardly waddle over to the hole in the floor.

But then Justine closes it.

"Hey, so uh, you sure this is who they said they wanted gone?" That was Justine by the way. His voice is a lot more soft spoken. Also, what.

Did he say gone?

Caroline appears beside me, his voice sounding a bit miffed. "Yes, I am sure. Praetor Oscar even specified that the food for today was human."

Justine, who has been kneeling by the hatch during this whole exchange, stands up...! "Dammit, think about it man! We're members of the Abbey! Mankind's defenders! Doesn't this feel wrong to you? We're feeding a human, one of our own, to a filthy daemon! I didn't sign up to this! A-at least before we were throwing other daemons down the pit! This-

Justine walks over to me. "Uh-how old are you?

Well since you asked so nicely... "Seventeen." I have successfully answered honestly!

Justine, who's now begun clenching both of his fist, once again turns to Caroline. "This child, this child dammit, is about to be feed to a monster! By. Us! How can we possibly call ourselves defenders if this is what we get up to!" Yeah, you tell em! Anything that keeps me alive, I'll approve of it!

(PleasepleasepleaseIDon'twannaDieshitfuckshitwhymewhatdidIdoWhyAmIHereIWannaGoHomeHomeHome)

Caroline, who has thus been silent..."I see." He places a hand on Justine's shoulder. "My brother in arms, your heart is virtuous, that much I can see. But can you not see the fault in your words? In your reasoning?"

He waves his arm towards me.

"This scum is just that. A stain on the great history of humanity, a stain not unlike all the other pieces of trash imprisoned here." Rude. "Our orders are absolute, and falter we should not. As foot soldiers of the Abbey, our role is to carry out the will of our betters, to wordlessly serve humanity."

"H-how will the death of a child lead to humanity's safety?!" Justine.

"How do you know if he is even a child? Lies come easy to his type." Caroline.

"You read his file, you would know!" Justine.

"Nonetheless, his age is irrelevant." Caroline

The fucker, Caroline I mean, places another hand on Justine's other shoulder. "He could be five, he could be one hundred, and it still wouldn't matter. We must have faith brother, faith in our betters. Faith that their choices will lead to humanity's salvation!"

His words flowed like a sickly venom, entrapping its helpless prey. "Can you do that for me brother? Can you have faith?"

Cmon, Cmon! Don't do this, don't do this-

"...Yes." Nononononofuckshitfuckno

"Then if you'd be so kind as to open the hatch..."

Nary a falter in his step, Justine opens the hatch. I do not agree, do not agree!

A soft jab at my back. It's Caroline. I move. One step.

Two steps. Three steps. I look down the hole.

It's a looooong way down.

"I-If I fall down there, I die." Not a question, not a query. Just a statement of fact.

Another push from my back.

"N-no, like, if I fall down there, I'll go kersplat."

Caroline briefly stops his poking. "Ah, you have a point...Praetor Oscar did say that the daemon must be alive when thrown in."

Y-yeah, I'm a human, just like you! No need to feed me to your blood god, let's just all walk away from here an-

"Brother, if you would?"

Then, shit just...happened.

Justine's staff, which had laid in his hand unused, begins to glow a bright green.

My body hissed. Something took ahold of it, and I could feel my very being shake in confusion. It didn't hurt, and I don't think harm was even their intention.

But it still felt unnatural. Impossible.

Drinking an empty glass of water.

Swallowing while breathing.

The Earth being flat.

Shit like that!

...Then, it ended.

I turn to Justine.

"The fuck was-SHIT!"

My face careens towards the ground, and I instantly force my eyes shut. I'm falling into the pit face first...!

I try to grab onto something, anything. I don't want to-die?

I slow my breathing, and gently allow my eyes to open.

I'm...floating?

Uh, yeah! That's about right! My body's (ItFeelsStrangeThisWhatIsThisBodyUnnatural) falling down really slow, and it's also being illuminated by this clear, light green shine.

So, after finding out that I will not in fact die of fall damage, I respond appropriately:

"Yeah, babyyyyyyyy!" I'm not dead! I'm not dead! I'm not dead!

...Considering the shit show that's been my day so far, I think this is well under the scope of "appropriate."

And so, I gently fall.

...Oh yeah, so magic is real now I guess.

It also kinda reeks in here...

...So, what now?

I mean, theoretically, I could use my increased lightness to push myself back up to the hatch, but I'm not too keen on finding out just how long this spell lasts.

And then there's the hatch itself, which probably won't even open from this end.

Coupled with the magic cultist and...

Yeah, ok. Giant stone pit it is. I use my hands to grapple onto the wall behind me and further push myself down.

"...pushin myself, down a giant stone hole~ It's a wonderful past time~" Muttering music which describes what's happening to me at the immediate moment is oddly soothing, ain't it? If I do get out of this alive I'll have a full blown album of songs that you too can listen to!

Songs that I sing when I'm trying to cope with my life-or-death scenarios: only 9.99!

...heh.

Ok ok, that's enough tom-fuckery for now. The sooner I get to the bottom of this hole, the sooner I can-

Suddenly, a flash of yellow.

My eyes widen (and then promptly wince back) as the space around me illuminates in a series of golden lines. Wrongness cascades through my body, but the feeling is quickly replaced with confusion. No, not like when I got actual fuckin feather falling lV, just the normal breed of confusion.

The feeling you get when you think your missing an assignment, or left your stuff at your friend's place.

The lights die down, and I'm once again alone.

...Mrrgh, whatever. Less thinky, more fally.

Futures, made of, virtual insani- "ow."

Wha, issit over? Oh. Ground.

I survey my surroundings. Cold stone floor, cold stone walls...

And a stench, not unlike the one before. But it's gotten stronger...

In front of me is a vast darkness, a space untouched by the light seeping out of the hatch above.

I step into the shadows and squint my eyes. There has to be something here, the fuckin wonder twins heavily foreshadowed that much!

The stench, it's that way. Right in front of me. Is it the monster? I take another step. Theres a faint outline, a pile of something. But something isn't enough, I need to...

...Oh.

Oh my.

Oh my gosh.

I can see it now.

A mountain of corpses, daemon corpses. Werewolves, goblins, lizard men, all stacked up against each other, forming a throne of flesh and bodies. And at the top of that throne?

A humanoid figure sitting down, it's yellow eyes glowing in the dark.

It stood up. My stomach dropped.

It took a step forward, I took two backwards.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. "Ah...hi!?" Communication, attempt communication!

...The monster spoke, it frigin spoke! "You took your time falling down here." A series of unnatural squelching noises promptly occur, because this experience couldn't be any more terrifying!

Then, a wave of nausea. God, if that bullshit with the magic was making me confused then this...This is hysteria inducing...!

I steel my eyes back towards the figure, the silhouette of its left arm replaced with a dark mass of something.

I take another step. My back hits the wall, and I do my damn best not to fall on my ass.

It inched closer and closer towards the light, all until it finally pierced the veil.

...And there she was.

"Though I can't help but wonder, why have they given me a human to devour?"

Velvet fucking Crowe, flexing her daemon arm, and ready to pounce.

Holy fucking shit.

Author notes:

Thoughts? Reviews are highly welcomed, cause god knows I'll need any help I get.

You know, I've only now realized that I didn't put my character's name anywhere in this first chapter. I couldn't really find any place to put it, and appropriate place anyway. But whoever said your character's name had to be revealed in the first chapter?

Speaking of the OC, I kinda just winged it with him here. I'm still debating weather he should be a SI or not, though he'll probably end up as some form the former. For a lot of his moments I just imagined "how would I react if put in this situation" and went from there.

As for just how much our protagonist knows about the tales of series? We'll be seeing the answer to that question in the next chapter, which will come out when I feel like it.

A few things I'd also like to quickly address about this story: As you saw-heavy use of cursing! Not much to say there...Aw, I also used italics and bold in a way that probably seems strange to a few people. I use italics to put emphasis on words when they're being spoken by a character, and I use bold to further emphasize that emphasis, if that makes any sense. However, I also occasionally used italics to signal text thoughts or sound effects. Hopefully readers will be able to tell which is which and not get confused.

I also wrote this entire thing on my iPhone. (Like I said in the pre-chapter notes, I was real eager to get this out) Oops. I'll probably use an actual pc next time.

If you have any questions, feel free to DM me.

With all that said, have a good day!