On their first night on Yavin, lying in Hera's bunk with her dozing beside him, Kanan had a vision. He saw a small boy, a boy with tan skin and green hair. He saw this boy, and he knew that it was his and Hera's child.
He didn't know when this child would be born. He didn't know if this child would be born. While the Force could grant visions of the future, the visions didn't always come to pass, and even if they did, they didn't always mean what you thought they would. Kanan knew nothing of this child except that he was his, and he knew that he loved this little boy with everything in him.
"Are you awake, love?" Hera murmured beside him. Kanan could hear the sheets rustle beneath her, then her hand cupped his jaw. "You should get some rest."
"So should you," Kanan replied, taking Hera's hand and pressing a kiss into the center of her palm.
"Your thinking is keeping me awake," Hera teased. "Get some sleep, Kanan."
"I will," Kanan promised. "I was just… thinking."
"About what?"
Kanan could still almost see the vision, but he wasn't going to tell Hera about it. He didn't know if it would come to pass, or how it would come to pass, and he didn't want her to ache for a child that may never exist. "The future," he said instead.
"The future?"
"Our future."
Hera sighed, resting her head on his chest. "I haven't given it much thought, to be honest."
"I know you haven't."
"You don't have to say it like that," Hera scolded, swatting at his arm. "I just… We're so busy. We don't know what the next day will bring. We don't know if we'll survive the next day. Where do I have time to think about our future?"
"What if we did know we would survive the war?" Kanan asked. "What if we knew that the war would end, and the galaxy would be free, and we would both be alive to enjoy it? What would you do?"
Hera hummed in thought. "First, I would run away to the most luxurious planet I could think of, and I would spent a solid week being pampered."
"Would I be doing the pampering?"
"Hmm, that depends."
"On what?"
"On whether or not you're annoying me."
Kanan smiled. "And if I promise not to annoy you?"
"Ah, then I guess you can come along."
"Will I be getting any pampering in this scheme?"
Hera snorted. "If you can find someone else to do it, sure, but I'm not lifting a finger for a week."
"We could switch off," Kanan suggested. "Spend two weeks on this luxurious planet. I pamper you for the first week, and then you pamper me for the second."
"Hmm, that sounds like it could work."
"Then what?" Kanan asked. "After some pampering, what would we do?"
"I don't know," Hera replied. "Like I said, I haven't thought much about it."
"I have," Kanan said quietly.
Hera sighed. "Kanan…"
"You don't even know what I'm going to say!"
"I do," Hera replied. "And I'm sure it's a beautiful dream, but I can't have that dream yet. I need to focus on the Rebellion."
"Isn't the whole point of this rebellion to make a better future?" Kanan countered.
"A future we may not get to see," Hera said. "You know as well as I do, better even, that not everyone survives in war. We don't know if we will."
"We can't think like that, though," Kanan protested. "If you're not expecting to make it home, you won't."
"And sometimes, even if you are expecting to make it home, you still don't." Hera sighed. "I'm not saying we should expect to die, but I don't want to make plans for the future, not yet. We don't know how long it'll take to take down the Empire. We don't know if we'll live to see it fall. And until the Empire is gone, taking it down is my future."
"And what's my place in that future?" Kanan asked. "Just another member of your crew? Another Spectre on the Ghost?"
The blankets under Hera rustled as she took her head off Kanan's chest and put it back on her own pillow. "I'm too tired to have this conversation right now, Kanan."
"And tomorrow you'll be too busy, and then I'll go off to Mandalore with Sabine, and we'll never have this conversation at all."
"What do you want me to say?" Hera demanded.
Kanan sighed. "I don't know." He pushed away the sheets and sat up. "I'll go back to my bunk. Goodnight, Hera."
"Kanan…"
For a moment, Kanan thought Hera might be reconsidering things, that she might be willing to talk after all. Then he heard her let out a soft sigh and knew she wasn't.
"Goodnight, then."
I love you, Kanan thought, but he didn't say it. That night wasn't the time.
He slipped out of Hera's room and went back to his. It felt cold and lonely, but that was alright. Kanan was used to that. He lay on his own bunk, and he thought about the vision of the little boy. He thought of the warmth and love he'd felt for him.
Maybe Hera wasn't ready to start thinking about a future, but that didn't mean they couldn't have one. And if Hera wasn't making plans…
Well, then maybe Kanan would make some plans for both of them.
When the loth-wolf showed him his path, Kanan saw many things. He saw his death, but that was alright. He also saw Lothal freed, and the Empire taken down. He saw his family, and they were alive.
He saw Hera, and he saw the same little boy he'd seen in a vision months ago. The Force had been moving a bit differently around Hera in the past few weeks, and now Kanan knew why. He knew what her future was. He wished he could have shared it with her, but it was enough to know she had one.
And the little boy, the boy whose skin was mostly tan like Kanan's own but green like Hera's on the tips of his ears…
The Jedi teach that life doesn't cease at death, but merely changes form in the Force, he once told Ezra. Kanan wasn't exactly a perfect Jedi, but he did believe that. Death wasn't the end, and even after he died, he wouldn't truly be gone. He'd be there for Hera, and he'd be there for the rest of their family, and he'd be there for the son he'd never have a chance to meet.
The Force would be with them, and he would too. Always.