The Ortega Leading Men Game of Go Fish

A/N: Yeah I really don't own anything. Everything belongs to Disney!

This really was just a crack one shot that was rattling around in my head, where the leading men in all of Kenny Ortega's projects got together and had a card game. And no, I haven't seen Julie and the Phantoms, hence why Luke's backstory is just that he's dead.

I hope you all enjoy! :D

In an abandoned building near the edge of town, five boys sat around a table; each of them holding a hand of playing cards.

"So what are we playing for this time?"

"The same thing we play for every week, Jack. The fangirls."

Jack shook his head. "I knew that. I was just asking for the new guy. The one who looks like he's allergic to sleeves."

"So…how do we tell who wins?" The sleeveless boy asked as he looked at his cards. "I mean, I've never played poker before so…"

"This isn't poker, Ben here is horrible at it," another one of the boys said, patting the lone suit clad boy on the back.

"Troy, I'm not horrible at it, you all just think I have a bad poker face," Ben said. "And do you have any twos?"

The sleeveless boy stared in shock as Troy shook his head. "Go fish."

"We're playing Go Fish?!"

"Luke, didn't Max tell you what we were playing when he invited you over here?"

"He didn't," Luke said as he shook his head. "He just said 'hey, the Ortega leading men are having a get together this weekend. You want in?' Of course I said yes, Julie's got a thing with her dad anyway, Alex is with Willie and Reggie's 'helping' Carlos find proof of ghosts."

"Where does Allison think you are Max?" Ben asked.

"Sibling night with Dani. What about Mal?"

"…card game with you lot. I don't like lying to her! It doesn't feel right, especially since we're engaged."

"Okay, okay. Enough emotion talk, let's get to the real meat of why we're here," the last boy said, a red bandana around his neck. "I'll start first as always."

"And why does he go first?" Luke asked.

"His project came first," Max muttered. "But just barely!"

Jack chuckled. "Maxie boy, my project came out April 10th, 1992. Your project came out July 16th, 1993. Not to mention I'm the only one with two projects technically!"

"Three!" Troy exclaimed.

"Not to brag but I've got three movies, two seasons of a television show and four books," Ben spoke up. "Also, is there any point to having the cards if we're just going to talk?"

"Gives us something to do with our hands," Troy said. "If Chad was here, I could steal his basketball."

Ben blinked for a second. "Sometimes I forget that you also have a friend name Chad."

"Look are we doing this or are we just going to gab all night? Some of us have jobs to get to in the morning!" Jack exclaimed.

Troy rolled his eyes. "You do realize Ben's a King and you don't see him complaining right?"

"Whatever," Jack said. "So it's obvious I've got the hardest time as an Ortega leading male. I'm a seventeen year old orphan in 1889 New York leading a news boy strike against a massive newspaper guy and it's going well right, but I get captured and thrown in the Refuge until Pulitzer comes and says I need to sell papes or else bad things are going to happen to my friends. Well of course my friends see me selling papes also known as scabbin' and they get upset—."

"Why not just tell them what's going on?" Troy asked.

"You ask that every week!" Jack shook his head. "I'm out in public and Spot's not going to believe me—I'm lucky Davey did but then again I did save his sister and little brother. So then we run a massive newsletter about how kids run New York and we get Pulitzer to back off and I get the governor to give me a ride to the train station, almost about to go to Santa Fe—the one thing I've been dreaming about mind you—only to turn around and stay in New York!"

"…so you come out on top?" Luke asked.

"He always does," Max said, shaking his head. "I don't know why he claims he's got the hardest time when it's obvious it's me!"

"Oh and how is it obvious, pretty boy? I swear, you with your brown floppy hair—!"

"Jack, we've all got brown, floppy, hair," Troy said, shaking his head. "Now let Max talk. We've only got so much time before the Ortega villains come barging in here for their poker game."

"Yeah, my dad wants to know why they keep inviting him to those games," Ben said.

Troy, Jack, and Max all looked at each other. "Is…is he serious?"

"From everything he's said, it should be obvious…"

"Whatever. Max, just go. We can deal with Ben's delusions later," Jack said. "Oh, Luke, got any threes?"

"Go fish," Luke told him after checking his cards.

Max sighed. "So to start off, I'm the new kid in town. It's Halloween, and I've got to take my little sister Dani trick or treating after getting harassed by bullies in the town cemetery."

"Why…?"

"I rode my bike home through the cemetery."

"Why…?"

"Don't ask. Anyway so I take her trick or treating, not willingly mind you, and we end up going to the house of this girl I like. Allison. So the three of us end up going to the house of the Sanderson Sisters, three witches who were killed three hundred years ago and their house was turned into a museum. Now, there's this candle. The Black Flame Candle, and I swear to God Jack, if you call it the 'virgin candle' again, I'm kicking your ass!"

"Hey! You know Ben doesn't like that kind of talk!" Troy exclaimed with a chuckle. "DCOM boy, having to watch his mouth."

"You were a Disney Channel Original Movie too, Troy!" Ben shouted.

"Ah yes but which one of us got their last movie in theaters?" Troy asked with a small smirk.

Ben sighed. "Yeah, yeah."

"Can I continue?" Max asked. "Anyway so I thought it was a joke so I lit the candle bringing the sisters back from the dead. Now they've got to consume the soul of a human child before sunrise or else they die again. So Allison, Dani, and I are on the run from them with this cat that surprise, surprise, can talk—."

"Oh you've got a talking animal too?" Ben asked. "Isn't it neat?"

"…neat is not the word I'd use," Max told him. "Cat or dog?"

"Dog, Mal gave him a truth gummy and he got the ability to speak."

"…there's not enough time for me to get the full story there. Anyway so the lead sister Winnifred puts the whole town under a spell while we're on the run from them and her zombie ex-boyfriend and we thought we killed them by lighting the kiln in the school when they were in it—."

"Wait, you killed them?"

"Ben, I tell this story every week and every week you're disturbed by that part." Max told him, shaking his head. "So the witches kidnap Dani because Allison and I took a look inside Winnifred's spell book not knowing doing so sent a beacon for them to find us. I get my sister back before they made her drink a potion that would allow them to consume her soul but we have a massive battle in a cemetery—."

"What is it with you and cemeteries?"

"You gonna let me finish or what? So I drink the potion Winnifred's trying to force Dani to drink but the sun comes up before she can have my soul. But the cat dies though it's kinda a good thing because the cat was really a teenage boy that the witches cursed to be a cat and now his soul can rest with his sister."

"…so you came out on top?" Luke asked.

"Well…yeah."

Troy sighed. "My turn. Now, I'm a high school student, captain of my basketball team—."

"Nope, sorry, you can't possibly have a horrible life with that start," Luke shook his head.

"I…I get forced to sing when I don't want to at a New Year's Eve party—."

"Ooh poor baby," Jack rolled his eyes.

"Oh! My girlfriend keeps leaving me—."

"Gabriella did have a legitimate reason to do so when you were working at that golf course," Max pointed out.

"I was trying to impress colleges! My dad's a coach at a high school, it's not like he makes all that much!"

"Still, you don't really have a leg to stand on. Especially when your dilemma your senior year was 'which college do I go to'," Ben said, his voice soft like he didn't want to speak up.

"Oh like you could do better, Mr. Royal," Jack scoffed.

Ben sighed. "Okay, so to start off my dad stepped down from being King of our kingdom after ruling for twenty years and I'm still in school. I announce that I'm going to invite four kids from the Isle of the Lost, this island that my parents set up that houses all of the villains from our stories—."

"And kids live there?" Luke asked.

"Uh huh."

"Why?"

"…anyway, so I invite the kids and my girlfriend Audrey starts getting jealous and telling me that I'm too trusting. One of the kids, Mal, gives me a cookie that I didn't know has a love potion in it and I fall in love with her, to the point that I declare my love after winning the championship Tourney game with Jay and Carlos assisting."

"Who?"

"Two of the Villain Kids. I did a big song and dance but the potion washed off on my first date with Mal but I didn't let her know that. Family Day comes, and Mal gets accosted by Leah, the grandmother of my former girlfriend. No one steps in so I try to stop the tirade but it doesn't work and my dad tells me the mess is my fault. The next day, I get coronated but the daughter of my headmistress steals her mom's wand and inadvertently causes a big enough hole in the barrier that's around the Isle—."

"So this Island's a prison?"

"Yes."

"And you kept kids there?"

"…anyway so Mal defeats her mother—."

"Who is?"

"Oh right. Maleficent."

Luke shook his head. "Continue."

"Thanks! So she defeats her mom by turning her into a lizard but then goes through this weird change within six months and uses magic behind my back when I thought she was doing a good job fitting in and tried to spell me into forgetting about our fight. Well I noticed that and called her on it so she left to go back to the Island and when I went to get her back, I got captured by pirates and Mal had to save me but then I got spelled by Uma, the leader of the pirate kids so that she was my date to Cotillion."

"You get spelled a lot."

"I think Ortega doesn't like me," Ben shook his head. "Anyway Mal breaks the spell by using True Love's Kiss—."

"Was that established as a possibility before this?"

"…anyway, Mal and Uma have a big fight where Mal turns into a dragon but it all turns out okay because we get to have Cotillion and Mal becomes a Lady of my court. We start bringing more VKs over because Uma had a point, there needed to be more kids after all, and I proposed to Mal—."

"How old are you?"

"…jury's still out on that. But then Hades tries to escape the Isle so I held a meeting with Mal, my parents, and Fairy Godmother where it was suggested by Mal that we close the barrier for good. I objected but as King, I needed to think about what was best for Auradon—."

"But what about the kids?" Luke asked.

Ben sighed. "I'd have to give up my dream of bringing the kids off the Isle of the Lost. While all of this is going on, my ex-girlfriend stole the crown of the Queen and Maleficent's scepter, turning evil. She cursed Mal, and then turned me into a beast—something I'd feared happening and she knew that too. Thankfully Jane was able to turn me back—."

"Jane?"

"Fairy Godmother's daughter."

"The girl who stole the wand?"

"The very same. She was able to turn me back with Enchanted Lake water and Mal got turned back to her regular self by going to the Isle where she picked up Harry, Gil, and Uma and we teamed up and stormed Fairy Cottage but Audrey wasn't there. However, there was a big blow up as we headed out and Mal revealed to the other VKs that the barrier was closing forever and Celia, one of the VKs, took Mal's ember that was also Hades' ember and tossed in a nearby bird bath. Uma and Harry walked off and I got turned to stone. When I got…well un-stoned, Audrey was dying and we had to ask Hades to save her. Which he did, and at the end of the day we took the barrier down completely so Auradon and the Isle could live in peace."

"So…you need therapy." Luke told him. "Plus, it sounds like you came out on top."

"Yeah I did but I'm still waiting on my wedding! No one knows when it's going to happen!"

Luke shook his head. "So all in all, you had pretty rocky stories but you all come out on top?"

"Oh and what's your story?" Jack scoffed.

"…I'm dead."

The other boys all looked at each other. "He wins."

"You don't want to know the rest?" Luke asked.

"You're dead. Meaning you're a ghost right now," Max told him. "In terms of 'who's got the roughest time as a Ortega leading man', you can't really beat 'ghost'."

"Oh yeah, and my project's in limbo. I haven't heard anything about the next season despite the fact we ended on a cliff hanger."

"I haven't even seen your project and I hate you so much right now," Troy told him.

Luke smiled. "Hey this was fun! Can Alex and Reggie join next time?"

"Sure!" Ben nodded as a pounding knock sounded on the door. "Oh, looks like the Ortega villains are here. Seriously though, can they stop inviting my dad to things?"

"…he can't be that naive and be a king," Jack said as he shook his head, leading the boys out of the house just as a red haired woman, an older gentleman, an older woman, a blonde girl, and a man in a purple suit entered.

"Shall we begin our weekly 'Kenny Ortega Villains' poker game?"

"I really don't know why I'm here," the older woman sniffed.

The redhead rolled her eyes. "Oh shut it Leah. You're worse than Sarah at times. Just deal, Pulitzer—and who's the new guy?"

"The name's Caleb my dear," the purple suit clad man said with a sinister smile. "Caleb Covington."

"Well Covington I hope you've got a better story than this lot," the redhead said as she took her cards.

"Oh I think I do," Caleb smirked. "I think I do."