Welcome to the rewrite/spiritual successor of the Eldritch Gamer. Have fun!

Chapter One: The Cake Is The Truth

BGM: Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney OST - Trial

It was an odd thing to witness.

A courtroom floating in the middle of space. No walls, no ceiling. A floor? Yes. A jury box that seemed to stretch onto infinity filled with indescribable horrors beyond human imagining… and an old man with a spiked mohawk in a Hawaiian shirt? Also yes.

They were all glaring daggers at the defendant.

He was a humanoid being. Green skin, the head of an octopus, and the wings of a dragon. He wore a black suit with a red tie, and he gave off an air that screamed that he was one lazy motherfucker. This was Cthulhu.

His legs were sunk knee-deep into the floor almost as if he was standing in quicksand. The floor was, in fact, cake.

Sitting on the Judge's Bench was, at first glance, a normal human girl. Gorgeous by human standards, long-blue slightly messy, and shaggy hair; her red eyes looked at Cthulhu with contempt and disdain. She wore black judge's robes.

This was Azathoth, the Nuclear Chaos. The ruler and creator of the universe.

"The Cosmic Court is now in session," Azathoth announced. "The accused, Cthulhu, stands guilty of turning the multiverse into cake… and blatant disregard of Type-Moon lore."

"How could you do this to me wee men!?" The old man in the jury box yelled, holding a lawn gnome in his hands before taking a bite out of it showing that it was, in fact, cake. "It's delicious!"

"Okay, hold on now!" Cthulhu spoke up. "I will own up to the first one, but to hell with the Type-Moon crap! Who made Earth habitable? Me! Who gave the planet the opportunity to develop its own consciousness? Me! It's not my fault that Gaia got so full itself and thought it was hot shit, or that the blonde, self-entitled twat - Gigamush or some shit - started using a terraforming device as a weapon!"

Azathoth shrugged. "Fair, it's not your fault a bunch of idiots think an infant planet can produce beings and weapons that can surpass and or match eldritch entities that are far older than its inception, but I'd still rather throw you under the bus than have to personally deal with the swarms of autistically screeching Type-Moon fans for the next ten-thousand years."

Cthulhu sweatdropped. "That's cold, dude..."

"But not undeserved." She deadpanned. "You've neglected your duties as a Great Old One for trillions of years, you eldritch NEET!"

"Hey, I'm not a NEET! I… just overslept."

"Fucking. NEET. Now, shut up." She looked around the courtroom. "Where the hell is Yog?"

Reality itself distorted as a long raven-haired beautiful woman wearing what appeared to be a naval uniform, her face covered in cake, entered the cosmic courtroom.

The look on her face told everyone that she was completely unamused. "...I'm here."

Azathoth's eyes widened. "What happened?"

"I was in the middle of fighting in an alternate version of World War II where Japan was on the side of the Allies. When suddenly, everything turned into cake… and I was hit in the face with an artillery cake shell."

"BIG MOOD!" The jury yelled.

"Quiet now, now..." Her unamused gazed turned to Cthulhu who looked nervous at her sudden appearance. "You're the little shit responsible for this mess?"

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney OST - Pressing Pursuit ~ Cornered

"C-Come on now, it was just one little wish on the Holy Grail, it couldn't have turned everything into cake." He tried to reason.

"Everything is cake you walking dollar-store calamari!" Azathoth yelled. "EVERYTHING! From the planets to the stars, and even my little judge hammer," she took a bite out of said hammer, crying tears of sorrow as she did so. "It's delicious, and I'm mad about it!"

"Wait, it's all cake!?" A voice yelled from the jury.

There was the sound of a gun cocking. "Always has been."

BANG!

There was a deafening thud...

"Man down! Man Down!" Another voice shouted.

"How are the stars still glowing if they're cake!?" Cthulhu argued.

"Fluorescent frosting you dillweed!"

"Oh..."

Azathoth turned to Yog-Sothoth. "You're the prosecutor. Get 'em, girl!"

Yog snapped her fingers causing a shoddily put-together and rushed PowerPoint presentation - one that would make a college student on final's week wince - to be projected into the cosmos around them. Yog then flipped through various slides of Cthulhu in Fuyuki city stumbling around like an idiot while the contestants of the Fifth War… plus Gilgamesh threw everything they had at him and then some. Killing them by complete accident when he tripped and fell a dozen times throughout the city.

"After this utter display of stupidity, he then went onto make a wish on the Grail for, and I quote 'I wish for some fuckin' munchies, haven't anything to eat in trillions of years, ya feel me?'. The Grail then drew on his eldritch energies to supercharge itself and cause a chain reaction throughout the Type-Moon multiverse resulting in the changing of the nature and truth of the universe itself to be cake." She grabbed one of her slides from the cosmos. "This means most of our powers are now also cake-related!" she took a bite out of her PowerPoint cake slide which was, in fact, cake. "Why is this so damned good!?"

Cthulhu raised his hand. "So, what you're saying is that the cake is no longer a lie-"

BANG! BANG!

Two slugs went off on the back of Cthulhu's head. "...Ow."

"Turn me wee men back ya muckled damred tentacle shit!" The old man shouted, he took another bite out of his gnome. "Before I eat them all!"

Azathoth sighed. "Thank you for your input, Mr. Henderson, I will note that down."

Space warped again and a cute silver-haired girl in a purple suit holding a broken crowbar stomped her way into the courtroom with a furious expression on her face. The crowbar's cross-section showed that it was also cake. "Why the fuck is everything cake!?"

Yog waved her hand. "Hey, Nyarl."

"Hello, Nyarl." The jury greeted.

"Isn't that the poor schmuck I easily scammed?" Old Man Henderson asked himself.

"Hello, daughter. Were you in the DC universe?" Azathoth asked.

"I was beating some 12-year-old in spandex to death with a crowbar when it turned out that everything was cake!"

"I see..." Azathoth knew how cranky her daughter got when someone cockblocked her murder sprees. "Cthulhu did it." so she threw the perpetrator under the bus immediately.

Nyarlathotep threw the rest of her cake-bar right at Cthulhu's head.

Splat!

It scored a direct hit in his face, sending him sprawling onto the cake floor. The Outer God stood over him, a psychotic smile on her face.

Cthulhu paled knowing he had the undivided fury of the Crawling Chaos locked on him. "N-Now hold on! Let's talk about this!"

She pulled a chainsaw out of the folds of reality. "Alright. You talk, I'll kill. One way or another I will be covered in someone's blood tonight!"

Cthulhu gulped as she pulled the cord and the sounds of the chainsaw's engine echoed throughout the courtroom along with the cheers of the jury. The chainsaw may have been cake, but it would still do the job.

"Does the jury find this asshole guilty?" Azathoth's voice overpowered the cheering and the engine.

"GUILTY!" They decreed.

"Then proceed, daughter."

Cthulhu panicked as the cake-saw was lowered. If anyone asked him, his screams were indeed manly.

[-]

When Cthulhu woke up, he noticed he'd been tied to a chair in a dimly lit room while Nyarlathotep was humming a cheery tune. The Outer God browsed through an assortment of crowbars hanging on the walls. Her face brightened as she picked up a particularly vicious-looking one.

"Ah-ha! This is perfect." She beamed.

"...That looks dangerous." He talked without thinking.

The Crawling Chaos turned around. "Also perfect! You're already awake."

"...Mistakes have been made."

She gave a spine-chilling grin. "Yes, but far from your worst one today."

"Uh...huh..."

"Anyway, it's time to start your eternal torment! Yay!" She cheered as confetti rained down from the ceiling.

"Eternal what!?" Cthulhu panicked. "Isn't that a bit harsh?"

"With your idiotic wish, your body count dwarfs even mine. You've killed so many races, planets, realities, and even fucking timelines. You're lucky we don't have anything more extreme than eternal torment."

Anarchy Reigns OST - Jaw

Nyarlathotep approached Cthulhu, crowbar in hand.

"H-Hold on! Let's… let's not be hasty now. I… I can fix this!" the Great Old One blurted out.

Nyarl chuckled. "I'm sure you can, but right now you'll do a better job of helping everyone by screaming in agony."

Cthulhu started sweating as she raised the crowbar. He only had a few more seconds to convince her. It was risky and could make his situation worse than it already is, but it was worth a shot. They were only rumors but…

"W-What if my way to fix things involved you getting to spend some… some quality time with that 'senpai' you've been fawning over the past few billion years over?!"

He felt the head of the crowbar rest on his shoulder as Nyarl looked at him with a near-emotionless expression. "You know, it's funny. I can't tell if you're extremely brave or extremely retarded. But continue..."

"Th- This kind of thing has a focal point, right?"

"Right..."

"So, all we need to do is find the focal point and destroy it. That way this whole cake thing loses its grip on creation."

"Correct..."

"T-Then how about we send them in to take care of things! I-I'll help too, o-of course!"

Nyarl adopted a thinking pose. "Hmmm. Well, I mean, sure. We could do that. Pull some isekai crap send 'em into the world where the focal point is and have him destroy the damned thing… it could work."

Cthulhu let out a sigh of relief.

She grinned maliciously. "But I also really want to beat you within an inch of your life consonantly for the next eternity or two for this fucking stunt!"

Ding!

She cracked him upside the head with her crowbar. "Ow! How do you even have a real crowbar!?"

"If there's one thing you can depend on, it's my ability to find a blunt object to beat a dickhead with! But I mean really, we could just fix it ourselves easily… but then again..." she took the thinking pose again. "A poorly thought-out and thinly veiled excuse to hide utter narrative bankruptcy all for the sake of a dime a dozen isekai plot does sound right up my alley..." she pulled out a flip phone from a pocket in reality. "I gotta call mom and Yog."

"Who the hell still uses a flip phone?" Cthulhu mused… before getting cracked over the head again. "Ow!"

"Hey, mom. Can you and Yog come over real quick, I got an idea I want to run by you two… shit..." The phone crumbled in her hand. It was cake. She hit him one more time with the crowbar.

"Ouch!"

"I'll be back," Nyarl sighed before leaving the room through a warp gate.

Reality warped again as she walked back into the room with Yog and Azathoth in tow.

"So, what's this all about?" the Creator asked.

"An opportunity to spend time with senpai through isekai!"

Azathoth gasped. "I completely forgot about hubby! Is he alright?"

'Hubby!?' Cthulhu mentally screamed.

Yog winced. "He is also cake."

'You've got to be shitting my tenta-dick in half right now...'

"Shubby is not going to be happy that her boyfriend is cake..." Yog continued.

'The Black Goat too!? Who the fuck is this guy!?'

Azathoth's eye twitched. Reality around her began glitching and the room shook before a deafening boom went off signaling that a significant chunk of the multi-cakeverse had been deleted.

She gave Cthulhu an all too sweet smile. "Nyarl, hand me a crowbar..."

Nyarl did so without question as the two menacingly approached the Great Old One. "You think you can talk about senpai in my presence when you killed him!?"

Cthulhu started sweating buckets. "N-Now come on, let's be civil here! OH JESUS CHRIST-"

Yog tuned out Cthulhu's screams of agony as she began to think. The lover of Azathoth, Nyarlathotep, and Shub-Niggurath had been turned into cake, but his soul still had to exist on some level in some reality and…

Her eyes widened. "Found it!"

There was one reality where his soul was currently intact and she grabbed it as soon as she noticed it. The soul of this version of Azathoth's lover had never encountered the eldritch before, but that just made what would happen next even more entertaining.

She snapped her fingers, and suddenly, a blue, wispy, humanoid mass entered to room.

"Eh!?" the soul exclaimed, startled. "Where am I!? And why am I surrounded by total hotties giving… what looks like Cthulhu in a business suit, a gangster initiation?"

Aza and Nyarl dropped their crowbars. "Hubby!/Senpai!"

The two embodiments of feminine rage dropped their bloodstained crowbars to hug the soul.

"Why am I suddenly being hugged by hot chicks?" he asked, confused.

Yog smiled. "Well, it's good to see that your soul wasn't affected by what happened. The downside is that you're the last you in all of creation." she walked up to him, a slight sway in her hips. "Either way, it's good to have you back..." she kissed him on the cheek. "Dear~"

'Are you shitting me! Yog-Sothoth too!' The bloody and beaten Cthulhu screamed in his head.

"You said some scary things, but the affection is nice so I'm not questioning this." the soul said rubbing Aza and Nyarl's backs.

"Anyway, Loverboy," Yog began. "We kind of have an issue we need you to take care of for use that requires your particular… touch, if you will."

"Lady, I will kill God at this point if you ask me to." He joked.

Yog giggled. "Well, it's not exactly that… not this time."

"You said something worrying again..."

She turned to the bloody and broken Cthulhu. "You said you were going to help him. What are you giving him?"

"Uhhhgggg..." Cthulhu groaned in pain. "I don't know… Gamer or something I just want to sleep off this concussion for the next trillion years. Owwwwwch."

Yog blinked. "The Gamer…?" she browsed through countless timelines before… "That's an awful idea." She snapped her fingers and brought up another PowerPoint presentation showing a human figure getting kicked into the stratosphere and crashing into a tavern. "Due to your absolutely awful coding skills, you got Loverboy here killed in this universe."

"HE DID WHAT!?" Aza and Nyarl shouted as they grabbed their crowbars again and started beating on Cthulhu once more.

"W-W-W-Wait-" Smack! "That's just a parallel version of-" Ding! "I just wanted some munchies!"

In Cthulhu's mind's eye, he saw a world of fire as a faceless lanky man in a suit rose up from the inferno.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ALTERNATE VERSION OF ME, YOU'RE GETTIN' YOUR ASS WHOOPED! EVEN FROM THE FIRES OF ANGRA MAINYU, I CAN SEE A BEATIN' LIKE THIS! GOD! DAMN!"

"Loverboy doesn't do well with numbers, nor does really care for them, so RPG mechanics are out the window." Yog mused.

The soul sweatdropped at the sight of Cthulhu getting the snot beat out of him. "That felt a little insulting, but okay."

"I mean, sure." Yog crossed her arms. "The Gamer System is basically our old reliable to get some dumb shmuck to do our dirty work for us. But it just doesn't mesh well with you."

"Well, at least you're honest..." the soul said blandly. "Though you're right. Only RPG I really buckled down made builds and crunched the numbers was Monster Hunter."

Yog blinked. "Monster Hunter…?" her eyes widened. "Loverboy you're a genius!"

He shrugged. "I have no idea what I did, but I'll take credit for it..."

"The Gamer System is merely a system that invokes a sort of simulation onto an individual on a conceptual level," she explained. "But that's all it is, a system. And systems can be changed and molded into something new. The Game can be changed into something entirely different!"

"Wait… that's an option?"

"The Game can become anything, a shooter, and RTS, even a mech piloting game-"

"Character Action Game!"

"Eh?"

"Like Devil May Cry, Ninja Gaiden… or basically everything Platinum Games puts out."

"That… that could work!" Yog nodded to herself. "It would need a near-complete rehaul of the system, but it's more than doable," she giggled. "Yeah, I can see it now. A Gamer like no other! A true Eldritch Gamer! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"...Should I be concerned?"

She waved him off. "Not at all."

"I am very concerned."

Yog threw her arm over his shoulder and gave him an easy-going smile. "Calm down, loosen up, and..." she tapped his shoulder, turning him from a blue wispy humanoid mass to a blue wispy ball.

"H-Huh!? What in the god damn-!?"

She took a baseball pitching stance, her leg raised. "YEET!"

"OH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIII-"

Yog-Sothoth threw her lover's soul into the black cakey void of the cosmos at a particular world. The location of the focal point. The only planet in the multiverse that wasn't infuriatingly delicious pastry.

She turned to face the other occupants of the room. "Alright, that's enough. I have a more productive use for this useless idiot."

Nyarl stopped mid-swing. "We have a use for him aside from being a mildly entertaining piñata?"

"I-I take… offense to t-that..." Cthulhu opened his mouth to a poor choice of words resulting Aza cracking him across the head again. "Ow..."

"Of course," Yog began smugly. "We can broadcast Loverboy's adventures to the eldritch community while we run damage control."

Aza tilted her head. "Like a live stream?"

"Exactly," Yog confirmed. "And every stream needs its moderators..."

They all slowly turned to Cthulhu.

His eyes widened in horror. "No! Nonononononononono! I am not becoming some dumb Twitch stream mod! Fuck that noise!"

Nyarl and Aza raised their crowbars.

"I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO IT!" He screamed in panic. 'Gonna fuck with the system at every chance I get though…' he thought.

Yog clapped her hands together. "Wonderful! Now that that's settled. I have a system I need to reconfigure. I look forward to your… community service," she turned to Nyarl. "Get the shock collar in case he tries something."

Cthulhu's eyes widened. "THE WHAT!?"

[-]

22 Years Later

In the guildhall of the town of Axel sat two pitiful idiots moping about their fates.

Kazuma Satou was a brown-haired, green-eyed Japanese NEET recently reincarnated into another world. He died a humiliating death that he would rather keep to his grave than tell anyone else (Not that this useless goddess would ever let him live it down). But he got a second chance! A chance for a better life, a chance for greatness!

And chose the worst thing possible for his second life/isekai adventure. A useless blue-haired goddess in a mini-skirt called Aqua. She didn't have any money (a kind old man gave them the money needed to register at the adventurer's guild), didn't even know the town they were in (Kazuma had to ask for directions to even get there), and was a complete idiot practically jumping at her own shadow.

For the past week-and-a-half, they were working as construction laborers to make ends meet and had to sleep in filthy stables since they couldn't afford a room at an inn. This was nowhere close to the grand adventure he was expecting. He could have done all of this in his other life and at least have some air conditioning.

As the reincarnated sixteen-year-old mused about his misfortunes, the door to the guild opened, and in walked an imposing figure. The man stood heads and shoulders above most people Kazuma had seen from people of this world so far. He wore a dark-blue cloak, a dark-blue bandana over his head, and a green mask from the nose down showing only a few locks of black hair and deep red eyes. He wore an odd blue and black outfit with puffy pants, most of his body was wrapped in bandages.

Each step he took was met with the clanking of metal. He wore a set of vicious-looking gauntlets and greaves over his bandaged arms and legs. On his back was an assortment of weapons that looked suspiciously similar to things Kazuma had seen in various anime and videogames.

Kazuma leaned over to Aqua. "Hey, do they have anime and manga from Japan over in this world?"

Aqua blinked. "What? Of course not."

He motioned to the strange man that just walked in. "Then why is that guy cosplaying as Mystogan from Fairy Tail?"

"Eh?" She finally looked at the isekai cosplayer. "EEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?"

Her confused, autistic scream caught the attention of the walking arsenal.

"K-Kazuma. Kazuma!"

"Yes, my name is Kazuma..."

She began shaking him. "He's walking towards us, what do we do!?"

Kazuma grabbed her hands, forcing her off of him. "Calm down you crazy goddess and let me think-"

Both of them froze as a dark shadow loomed over them. They slowly raised their heads to see the well-built man standing behind them, his height, definitely over six feet tall, making him more intimidating.

His red eyes began to glow slightly.

'Oh god, he's pissed! He's super pissed!' Kazuma internally panicked.

Then… the man bowed slightly. "Hajimemashite(Nice to meet you)."

Kazuma and Aqua blinked. "Eh?"

The man spoke in Japanese, not in this world's language. The reincarnation allowed Kazuma to read, write, and even speak this world's tongue, but he never expected to hear his country's language again.

The man let out a laugh. "Sorry if I scared you two, but yeah, that's about the extent of my moonspeak. Anyway, I'm Jack. It's good to see someone else from the modern world here."

Kazuma and Aqua stared at him for a good few seconds. "EEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?"

BGM: Konosuba OST - Dead Broke

After the two had calmed down, Jack joined them at their table and ordered a meal for them all. Kazuma visibly deflated as Jack took off his bandana and mask and his black hair fell to his shoulders, the man was incredibly handsome.

'This tall-ass gaijin-looking motherfucker would've been the enemy of men everywhere if he was back in Japan!' Kazuma despaired. "So, how did you figure out I was from Japan?"

He took a long swig of beer. "Well, you're the only one I've seen in years that looks like you've got that Asian Persuasion, plus your tracksuit was kind of a dead giveaway that you were from the modern world. I'm from America by the way."

Kazuma deadpanned, glancing at all of his weapons. "I should've known."

"Wait-wait-wait!" Aqua slammed her mug of beer on the table. "You're a reincarnation!?"

Jack took a bite out of his fried chicken. "Yeah, what about it?"

"All reincarnations in this world are from Japan we don't take anyone from America or any other countries!" She pointed an accusing finger at him. "So you're lying!"

He turned to Kazuma. "Is that the goddess, Aqua?"

Kazuma hesitated before answering, this was the first time someone actually recognized Aqua as a goddess. "...Y-Yes?"

Aqua gasped, grinning as her status as a divine being had been acknowledged. "Y-Yes! I am the Aqua. The goddess that is worshipped by the Religious Order of Axis!" She leaned closer. "Now that I think about it… you do look a bit familiar. Yes… yes! I did reincarnate you-"

"No, you didn't." he deadpanned.

Aqua's shoulders slouched. "No, I didn't."

"Why do you guys only take people from Japan anyway?"

"Oh, the dimensional pathways between worlds are closer to Japan. It makes transferring souls from world to world a lot easier and safer."

Jack nodded then gave Kazuma a pitiful look. "You poor bastard. You chose her as your 'cheat item', didn't you?"

Aqua looked at him aghast. "Eh!? What kind of reaction is that!?"

Kazuma sweatdropped. "O-Oi, I didn't get cursed or anything… did I?"

"No, but this could be considered karma..." Jack mused.

The NEET's brows furrowed. "Karma for who?"

He motioned to Aqua. "Her, she's basically the source of most the shit wrong with this world."

Aqua looked outraged, Kazuma face was a mix of shock and intrigue. "WHAT!?" they both shouted.

"Oi, goddess. Do you remember reincarnating a guy with the ability to create anything he wanted… including technological marvels unlike this world has ever seen?"

She blinked then nodded after a few seconds. "I… I think. He was kind of weird, smart but lazy, unmotivated, and a freaky masochist."

Jack sighed and gulped down the rest of his beer. "That confirms it. You were responsible for sending down the idiot that created the Crimson Demon Clan and the Destroyer."

BGM: Konosuba OST - Free from Worldliness

"The Destroyer?" Kazuma inquired.

"You seen Howl's Moving Castle?"

The NEET nodded.

"Think that but a giant spider mech rampaging throughout the continent that's so OP the Demon King and his generals and other nations don't even bother with it; cause actually destroying it would cost so much manpower, resources, and lives that they'd be extremely vulnerable to opposing countries and kingdoms. So, instead, they just bounce it around, ping-ponging it across the continent to rampage somewhere else until that have to deal with it again, and this has been going on for the last few centuries."

Kazuma paled. "What the hell."

Aqua started sweating. "Eheh...heheh… oh yeah."

"For the Crimson Demon Clan… they were also made by the same idiot that created the Destroyer."

Kazuma hung his head. "Oh boy..."

"Long story short. The Crimson Demons are an artificially created race to make the ultimate mages. It involved selective breeding, genetic manipulation, and unique surgeries."

"That sounds unethical..."

"You have no idea..." he took another bite of chicken. "Turns out all of the test subjects were extremely chuunibyou, and for some reason, it turned fucking genetic!" he said with his mouth full.

"Oh no…Wait how do you know all this?"

"I was reincarnated as one of them."

"Oh God..."

Jack looked at his food with a thousand-yard-stare. "I was stuck with them for years!"

"I am so sorry..."

"I mean, on one hand, we're all super hot and are the best mages out of any race… on the other hand… is it truly worth the suffering?"

Kazuma gave him a genuine sympathetic look. "My friend, I don't think there's any true answer to that question."

"I mean, I do get laid quite a bit now that I left the village."

Kazuma's eye twitched. "I take it back, I hate you."

Jack laughed. "So, what's your plan from now on?"

He blinked. "Eh? Defeat the Demon King and get my wish, what else would I be doing?"

Jack looked taken aback. "The hell would you kill him for?"

"Well, he's evil isn't he?"

"No. He is like the exact opposite. He's like the nice old grandfather you go fishing with and lays down the wisdom when you're down in the dumps." Jack smiled nostalgically. "Hell, I've been fishing with him. Sweet guy, all he wants to do is take care of his people and make his daughter happy."

Kazuma blinked. "Eh?" he turned to Aqua. "Eh!?"

Aqua slammed her hands on the table. "Lies! He's evil, just look at this war! All of humanity is in danger because of him!"

"Yeah, 'cause your cult filled with con-artists and the Crimson Demon Clan spread lies and slander about him causing the Belzerg Kingdom to strike first out of fear, and now we've escalated to this fuck-fest." Jack shot back.

Kazuma massaged his temples. "Her cult of what?"

Aqua gasped. "The Axis Order is a revered as respectable-"

"They're a bunch of fucking nutjobs that worship Aqua to the point of obsession and aggressively try to convert any tourists that visit Alcanretia into their doctrine even after being publicly declined multiple times. They discriminate and despise those who don't join their order… which is a lot of people and groups."

This time it was Kazuma's turn to look at his food with a thousand-yard-stare. "What… What is this world?"

"K-Kazuma!?" Aqua looked at the depressed reincarnation in shock. "I-It's obviously not true. Lies and slander!"

"My fantastical isekai adventure… give it back. Give it back!" the NEET despaired.

"Hey, look on the bright side." Jack put a hand on his shoulder. "At least we're not in Rance."

"DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT!"

Chapter End