Inspired by: The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by Mòxiāng Tóngshiù
Disclaimer: Me no own Naruto.
Note: To my readers from "Souls" and "Minute Changes", I swear I'll update them...just...imma have to catch the plot bunnies. They keep on breeding before escaping me (T ^ T ) so now I have new plunnies but the older ones are missing.
(05/11/21 this is actually a crosspost from Ao3, I'm really sorry to disappoint anyone who thought it was an update or a wholly new fic)
"That's it? Wait, are you serious? That's it?! Oh, come on!"
Oda was, for years now, a proud fan and reader, and as such, has acquired...certain standards when it comes to the stories he reads.
He wasn't discriminatory in what he read, so long as it was interesting and well-made. Reading too much can broaden your horizons, really. After all, with the amount he'd read, he was becoming hard pressed in finding good stories in only one genre.
That aside, Oda, after years of reading, has, as stated earlier, standards, and he's self-aware enough that he knows that he can get critical when it doesn't meet that standard.
'Naruto' was one of the mangas he'd followed and read, it was a part of his childhood like Pokémon was for other people. (Honestly, he never understood the others' interest in Pokémon and finds that he much preferred Digimon. But well, to each their own.)
He adored Naruto. The world that Kishimoto-sensei created was amazing and was an awesome sandbox to play around in, but...
Just what the hell happened at the end?!
Kaguya? Reincarnation? What? Just...What the hell?!
Oda preferred 'Naruto' over 'Naruto Shippuden' but he bore with Shippuden and still found it enjoyable enough to not drop it like a hot potato. But as much as he was thankful to Kishimoto-sensei for creating the world of Naruto, he just—Can't. Accept. The. Last. Parts!
Plus that whole reincarnation thing was pretty...unbelievable? Sideways? Too much for a person's 'Suspension of Disbelief System'?
Wasn't reincarnation supposed to be the rebirth of a soul in another body? So why was it that the previous incarnations were present via the Edo Tensei or some kind of recalling from the dead method?
And Neji died. Neji. That death was wholly unreasonable and unnecessary! Neji didn't deserve that!
Also, that Kaguya plot just really came out of nowhere. It was so out of the blue that when it came up, Oda stared at the screen of his tablet for a whole minute.
Dissatisfied.
Disappointed.
Frustrated.
Angry.
He was a whole mess of emotions that he shoved his tablet none too gently away from him and dragged his legs from the blankets.
Muttering under his breath, he pulled open the refrigerator roughly, making the glass bottles on the fridge's door clink against one another at the force.
Food. Food was good. Food was comfort. Food has never let him down.
...
Correction.
Food has let him down. A silent assassin that bade it's time to strike at the most opportune moment.
"Fuuucccckkk everything! Stupid ending! Why couldn't you have finished it like how you started it, Kishimoto!"
Everything went black.
[Activation code: "Fuuucccckkk everything! Stupid ending! Why couldn't you have finished it like how you started it, Kishimoto!" System activated. Welcome to the System, we hope to provide you the best experience possible and we sincerely wish you the best in achieving the ideal ending and turn this story into one that deserves its rank as the first place with consistency. Thank you for your patronage. Have a good day!]
Oda blinked his eyes open, his eyelids feeling heavy and rebelling against his intent to wake up.
Forcing his eyes to focus, the first thing that Oda noticed was the white ceiling. The second thing he noticed, however, was the scent of antiseptic. The scent of a hospital.
Did he survive after all? Had his neighbor called for an ambulance?
Pushing himself up, he stared at the long strands of black hair that spilled over his shoulder.
How much time had passed that his hair grew this long?
Mind still stuck in contemplation, Oda didn't notice the open door and the startled nurse.
"Orochimaru-san! Y-you're awake!" The nurse gasped out, making Oda look at the nurse uncomprehendingly. Orochimaru? Like, Orochimaru from Naruto? He knows he's pale and fine-boned, described by some of his classmates back in high school as delicate or frail looking, but he doesn't look like Orochimaru.
Well, he doesn't think so, at least? Orochimaru always came across as a dangerous beauty to him. That is, if Orochimaru cleaned up and fixed his posture. And stopped with the body-swapping and tongue lolling.
And his name might start with an O, but Odasuke was far from Orochimaru. The nurse sped away, leaving Oda staring at the vacated doorway left open.
[The System was successfully activated! Role bound: Orochimaru of the Sannin, Holder of the Snake Contract, Student of the Sandaime. Affiliation: Konoha Shinobi]
What?
What kind of nightmare was this?!
Stumbling out of the bed, he grabbed the end of the wooden bedside table. Either this was a weird dream or he had somehow transported to the Naruto Verse. As Orochimaru.
Or he had died and this was hell. Because for all that Orochimaru somehow always returned to life, he always still got himself mutilated or dead.
Kami-sama, please grant mercy on his soul.
Well, if he did transmigrate to Orochimaru's body like in all those web novels and mangas, he can probably just lie low and try not to betray Konoha and experiment on little kids.
He'll even stop any and all experiments.
[Warning: Current plan is dangerous, and may qualify as an act of violation; please do not attempt, or the system will automatically dole out punishment.]
Punishment? And what is this, anyway? All those transmigration novels and manga he'd read never had something like this!
[This is the System, dear customer. The System is here to serve as your personal overseer and guide in this endeavor. Points are given or deducted after certain actions and no points should ever go below 0 or punishment will be doled out. You have been given 100 starting points. Current plan will violate the OOC function, and as this is the starting point, you have not yet unlocked this feature.]
So he had to act like Orochimaru? Well, at the very least, he is allowed to stop acting like Orochimaru after he unlocks the OOC function. It would probably be the best, he could start the change slowly so that the other characters wouldn't be surprised.
Then again, he could fake amnesia and that would be the best course of action, then he could get the other characters to help him acclimate to the situation. If only there wasn't an OOC function. He sighed.
Or wait, he perked up.
'System, faking amnesia is something Orochimaru would do. He could manipulate others with this situation!'
The System's answer was instantaneous.
[Denied.]
Brow twitching in displeasure, Oda asked, 'Why?!'
[Role: Orochimaru. Role does not permit that course of action.]
'Oh, come on! It's entirely appropriate! You haven't even given me an explanation why it's not possible!'
[Denied.]
'Well, fuck you too, System!'
[-50 points.]
'Wait! Why did you deduct points?! That's unfair!'
[-10 points.]
An enraged scream startled all the nearby staffs and patients. The doctor and the nurse who'd just returned, looked at each other in silent communication and slowly backed away.
They'll...come back later.
[-30 points.]