Rem had left him. He didn't understand why. What had he done wrong? He had tried so hard, he just wanted her to be with him. He just wanted to hear those words again. He wanted her to say to him

"You're my hero, Subaru-Kun."

That was all he ever needed, for those words he would die countless times. It would make every death worth it. As long as he could be Rem's hero in the end then what happened in between wouldn't matter. That's what he had thought.

So he had died countless times, of course, he had promised to Satella that he wouldn't commit suicide, but it was fine if he died as a hero in battle right? So he put himself in the most dangerous situations, he put himself in the front so that others could be saved. He did all this so that he could hear her say

"I love you, Subaru-Kun."

But she never said those words, she never told him that she loved him or that he was her hero. Even after he had taken the city of Guaral with zero casualties, even after he had done the impossible multiple times. Even after he had tried so hard.

Instead, she left him, she took Louis and left. He didn't know where she went, or if she even was still alive. He had already tried to go back, but the checkpoint was after she had left.

Why? He didn't understand, no he hadn't understood back then, but he knew it now. It was a result of his mistakes, he had tried too hard to be Rem's hero. He had used return by death countless times. The witch's scent on him was probably overwhelming, but that wasn't the main problem. He had acted too cold towards Louis and Rem

He had been too busy trying to be Rem's hero, he had returned by death countless times to avoid casualties. He had saved many people that way, but he had also erased all of his moments with Rem, all of the moments where he had gotten close to her, all the times where he had earned her trust, they were all erased.

He had also acted too cold towards Louis, but could you blame him? He was stressed from his many deaths, he was in a foreign country with different values, and he was separated from all of his friends and support. When he was surrounded by people like Abel, could you blame him if he had acted colder?

When he was stressed from all of his deaths, could you blame him for taking his frustration out on Louis? He knew it was wrong, but he still did it. He regretted it now, she was innocent, but he had still blamed her for what she was. He had blamed her for being the Sin Archbishop of Gluttony.

He had taken his frustration out on Louis, he didn't think about what he was doing. When Rem found out she became very angry with him, he thought it was fine because he had earned her trust, but he had forgotten that all the times that he got close to her were failed loops. He had forgotten that in the final loops he had been too busy trying to be her hero.

Now she was gone, he didn't know where she went or if she even was alive anymore. Even if she was still alive, even if she came back, he would never hear those words again. He would never hear her say

"You're my hero, Subaru-Kun."

He had made too bad of an impression on her. Even if she came back their relationship would never be the same. Even if she regained her memories she would probably still hate him.

Once again, Natsuki Subaru had failed Rem. He remembered what Abel had told him so long ago

"You are human, Natsuki Subaru. You are neither a Hero nor a Sage."

He hadn't listened at the time, maybe if he had listened to him, maybe if he hadn't tried to be a hero then Rem wouldn't have left him.

What would Ram think of him? How could he ever face her again, when he had failed her. She would never be reunited with her sister. He had broken his promise with Ram. He always broke his promises, he always failed. He had promised not to abuse his ability, but he had also broken that promise.

He had failed, he wasn't Rem's hero, he could never be her hero.