Title: Dead Fish
Author: Fenikkusu Ai
Rating: T
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Kawaki, Jigen
Words: 1,065
Genre: Angst
Summary: Kawaki flopped across the ground like a fish when Jigen hit him.
Disclaimer: I do not own Boruto.
Goldfish are flowers ... flowers that move-Han Suyin
At an earlier, yet not happier time, Kawaki had been entranced with fish. They were shiny and lived in a world all their own. The creatures were mystical and alien. Almost magical.
Kawaki did indeed want to own one. Maybe he even related to one in some tiny ways. Even though someone such as him didn't deserve to own a pet.
But, eventually it became clear to him Kawaki was in fact a dead fish no matter how healthy he was and how powerful he was becoming. He had been trapped in scummy water all his life, but now there was no more oxygen to breathe the air into his lungs. He had been strangled to death.
These thoughts were not helpful at all when training with Jigen. It was dehumanizing in a sense that he was only attacking him to see what new things his toy could do now. Would he fight back? How well? Or, would he just take it?
At certain times, Kawaki had no thoughts or will of his own which was how Jigen wanted him all the time. Despite how much he clung to his personhood, Kawaki was more or less getting there.
He supposed that this was all well and good for a body that was intended to be a vessel to be empty. He could always feel the slow leak of something escaping from him. Perhaps Kawaki's attraction to fish was a yearning for something he wanted but could not have.
Eventually, Kawaki wanted to kill him. Perhaps there would be a cost of making him too powerful.
But where would he go a freak like him? And, then Kawaki knew that he would have to deal with the other members of Kara. He would be outnumbered.
Jigen stood there in the sand filled training circle like a huge white stone. He well knew that he had no weak points. Kawaki weaved around him to prepare for an incoming attack, but in truth he was tired if being a being a good boy. Jigen was going to hit him anyway. Why didn't he just get it over with already?
Through all his brutal training, Kawaki had given up on crying. It had never worked on his father, and in some respects, Jigen was worse than his father who was just a dumb drunkard. In contrast, this man-his new father-was powerful. He was sure that Jigen wasn't human.
Was Kawaki even human anymore?
He had his doubts regarding his new body.
He waited and licked his eternally dry lips. Kawaki didn't have to wait long.
Kawaki flopped across the ground like a fish when Jigen hit him. Kawaki didn't even bother blocking him as he knew that he couldn't hurt him. Jigen was intimidating with his void black eyes, and Kawaki felt like a gasping fish at his feet. Their skills and power were not the same. Yet.
"Get up," Jigen ordered. "You're being obstinate." A sharp hiss escaped his lips.
So, he just continued to lay there with the distinct satisfaction that he was annoying Jigen.
Still, Kawaki wasn't sure what obstinate meant. Maybe it meant weak. In Jigen's view, it was something undesirable.
He couldn't resist asking.
Kawaki turned his head, and his ear kissed the dirt. "What does obstinate mean?"
"Be quiet," the man snapped. "What did I tell you about questions? You have no authority to ask any."
Jigen then kicked him. Most would say that it was disgraceful to kick someone when they were down. Kawaki gasped, but he didn't cry out. He didn't want to demonstrate weakness in front of Jigen. Now, his shoulder exploded with pain.
Kawaki knew that Jigen despised questions. Even as something as simple as wanting to know when dinner was being served or if dinner would be served that night, but whenever he did so, he knew that Jigen would just hit him. How like his father.
He stayed right there on the ground wit his hurt shoulder. Maybe he could eat right there as he often consumed dirt in one way or another. He was sure that he would discover that different varieties of it and that it had a cacophony of flavors. When Kawaki was hungry, he did indeed trying slurping down mud.
So, he just continued to lay there with the distinct satisfaction that he was annoying Jigen.
He knew that he had to get up soon but there was no real motivation to as Kawaki was just so tired.
When Jigen bent down and grabbed his hair in a pure fury, Kawaki was surprised, but all he could do was hiss in pain like a snake. Jigen was strong. Amd. he had pissed him off.
"Why are you so difficult today?"
Jigen's lips were pursed with a rigid jaw. He was still glaring beneath him. Kawaki's mere look was a challenge.
You won't kill me.
"Pathetic," he sneered. "Maybe you'll be worth of praise tomorrow."
Oh good. Kawaki craved that. He really needed to impress Jigen.
Then, the regal man-no monster-was mercifully gone. Kawaki could rest now. For real.
As her panted for breath that still wasn't there, Kawaki's cracked lip stung when he probed it with his tongue. He could taste the coppery blood. He looked and felt like a mess.
The world was still an alien environment, but he wasn't a beautiful fish, and now there were no more fantasies to dream or look forward to. There no more hopes thing getting better, and he couldn't remember had seen or felt anything beautiful. This was life now. Trials of cruel and steady survival.
No, Kawaki wasn't even alive anymore. He was a dead fish stinking up the place that would only end up being eaten after being served on Jigen's plate.
Alone, he rose to his feet and this time, he couldn't suppress the slightest of a whimper. His shoulder was in momentary agony.
However, he supposed that he had only done it to himself by not cooperating. That's what Jigen would tell him anyway.
Still, he supposed that he couldn't be broken as he had never truly had anything that hadn't already been broken.
Upon looking up, the blue sky above him made him feel so lost. Oh yes, he was truly a fish out of water.
At times, Kawaki did wonder if he did indeed if he did belong anywhere.
A/N: Well, this got sad fast. I really like this new arc and the characters Jigen and Kawaki.