(A/N)I read part 34 of Buggachat's Bakery Enemies AU and was inspired!
Thanks to Khanofallorcs for betaing!
Marinette thoughtfully chewed on her croissant. Maybe Adrien wasn't so bad? And he'd looked so eager to have her try his baking, like a puppy that'd just been told he was a "good boy!"
Or a Chat who'd just gotten a compliment from His Lady…
She shook her head violently. NO NO NO BAD MARINETTE DO NOT THINK ABOUT THAT. What was up with her subconscious connecting Chat with Adrien lately?! NO, subconscious, she did NOT have a crush on Adrien, STOP CONNECTING HIM WITH THE BOY SHE LOVED.
"Are you looking for something?" her dad said, somewhere behind her.
"I- I can't find my-"
Marinette bit into something hard.
"GAAAAH!"
She whipped around, holding the hard, round thing between her teeth.
"MY RING!" Adrien screamed, tearing out his hair, looking at her wildly.
As she made to spit the ring out, it slipped sideways.
Between her teeth.
And near the back of her throat.
Reflexively, she swallowed.
They both froze, staring at each other in abject horror.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" A guttural scream ripped from Adrien's throat.
He seized Marinette's shoulders "I NEED HI- IT BACK! I HAVE TO GET THAT RING BACK OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!"
"IS THE RING SAFE AM I GONNA DIE OH GOD IT'S TOXIC ISN'T IT I'M GONNA DIE!" Marinette screamed back, hyperventilating nearly as badly as he was.
"Okay, okay, calm down," Tom said, putting up his hands. "Look, swallowing metal isn't good, but this isn't time to panic. Your mother swallowed the first engagement ring I tried to give her when I hid it in the bread I baked for her and she's still alive. It should pass in a few days-"
Mom had? Okay, so maybe things would be ok-
"I CAN'T LOSE THAT RING!" Adrien screamed, not having calmed in the slightest. "SHIT SHIT FUCK WHAT IF IT'S TOO LATE WHAT IF IT'S DESTROYED WHAT IF I KILLED HI- IT! KILLED IT!"
Tom gently put an arm around Adrien, rubbing his back. "It'll be okay, son. Things'll work out. Let's just sit down for a bit and rest…"
He lead Adrien away towards the living room, Adrien staring straight ahead, clinging to her father for all he was worth.
A ring slowly began glowing, pulsing with light, getting brighter and brighter.
Until…
*FWOOSH*
A small black cat spiralled out.
And promptly hit a wall.
Green slitted eyes blinked. "Eugh, where'd that kid put me?" Plagg grumbled, reaching out a paw to feel the obstruction.
It was weirdly soft, stretchy, and damp. Though at least not as wet as the "floor" of wherever Plagg was - his tail would've been soaked if he hadn't kept it insubstantial.
No light, either. Even with his night vision, he couldn't see a thing.
With a jolt, the surroundings moved, taking Plagg with them. Weird shrieking noises emanated from nearby, though he couldn't tell from where exactly - it felt like everything around him was vibrating.
Nope, not staying here. What was Adrien thinking, leaving the ring in this weird place?
Plagg turned insubstantial, phasing out of the weird container just enough to take a peek at his location-
"DIE CHESTBURSTER DIE!"
"AUGH!"
-and found himself unceremoniously whacked into a wall (a non-moist one this time) by a rolling pin.
Plagg blinked up from the ground.
An irate Marinette Dupain-Cheng stood over him, holding a rolling pin aloft. Slowly, her expression softened, turning from 'I'm going to murder you where you sit' to 'Oh crap, what've I done'.
"Plagg?" She called out hoarsely, as if afraid that saying his name would make him disappear. "How- What- I'm so so so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you oh crap what if he's dead oh cr-"
"Camembert…" he groaned.
Marinette abruptly stopped panicking. "What?"
"Camembert… will heal… all my injuries… I'll die without it… I need three wheels of cheese…"
"Yeah, you're fine," Marinette concluded.
Plagg shrugged. "Worth a shot."
"What were you thinking?!" Marinette said. "Poking around like that and then sticking your head out through my torso - I almost had a heart attack!"
She froze. "Wait… how're you here? Where's Chat Noir?!"
"You tell me, you're the one with my ring inside you."
The blood drained from her face. Fumbling around, she shakily made her way to the nearest chair, collapsing in a heap. "Your ring. I have your ring. Inside me."
Plagg tilted his head to the side. "Yessss…?"
"I swallowed Adrien's ring," she said dazedly, staring straight ahead.
"You know, I don't care if you play tonsil hockey with my kid, but could you not use my Miraculous as the puck?" he said conversationally. "I don't enjoy ending up inside of creatures as much as you do."
Marinette's eyes bulged, "I- WHAT- I DO NOT!"
"You end up leaping into mouths a lot…"
"AS PART OF MY PLAN TO DEFEAT THE SUPERVILLAIN!"
"But you're always smiling-"
"SHUT UP."
Adrien trudged to work.
What else could he do?
Keeping away wouldn't bring Plagg back.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid, how could I be so careless," he muttered to himself, throwing open the bakery door. It slammed into the wall. He couldn't bring himself to care.
Marinette greeted him, looking unusually upbeat. Adrien's spirits lifted a little, despite himself.
"Morning, kitty," she said, sauntering over to him. He blinked, his brain trying to process what that meant, as she dropped his ring into his hands. "We have a lot to talk about."
His mind spinning, coming to conclusions that he couldn't comprehend just yet, he latched onto anything that didn't disrupt his world, anything solid, as he gazed down at his Miraculous.
"It looks pristine! How did you-"
"THAT IS NOT ONE OF THE THINGS WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT."