Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with TF2 or Star Wars. I just enjoy writing retelling and thought TF2 would be a good base for a Star Wars retelling. I'll do my best to fill in both TF2 lore and Star Wars lore. Many of the locations will still be their star wars names, as well as most of the weapons. This is also inspired by Animations Seen on YouTube Star Fortress. And yes, I did acquire their permission to use some of their character choices. I highly recommend giving it a watch, it's a fun time. Hope you all enjoy!
Chapter 1
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
Fortress Wars: Episode IV
A New Hope.
Untold years after the Gravel Wars between Redmond Mann and Blutarch Mann, the two sides of Mercenaries hired by the two brothers found peace after the decades of fighting between them and for years after it was relatively peaceful as they made leaps and strides in other works of technological advancements that put them into the stars, colonizing new worlds, meeting multitudes of alien beings, eventually forming the Galactic Senate of the Republic. All was well, then twenty or so years prior to our story, a new war began between the Jedi Knights, guardians of the peace of the Galactic Republic, some of whom were descendants of the clones of the original mercenaries, and the Robots, aptly named "The Robot Wars", but that's the prequels job to explain that. Here's our story…
It is a period of civil war and renegade paragraphs floating through space. An alliance of rebels composed of the cloned mercenaries strike out from their hidden rebel base as they fight to liberate the galaxy from the evil Galactic Mann-pire.
At some point Rebel spies managed to capture the secret plans to the Mann-pire's ultimate weapon, the Death Star, an armored space station with enough firepower to destroy an entire planet at the push of a button, that until the movie Rogue One, we were left scratching our heads at a pretty huge design flaw of said weapon, but we'll get into that more later.
At the moment, all we need to know is that Imperial Senate member and secret ally to the Rebellion, Princess Leia of the Scout class, is being pursued by the Mann-pire's most sinister agent and races home aboard her home planet, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy. But when have things ever been that easy? Of course, something had to go wrong…
The hot, desert wasteland planet, Tatoonie was bathed in the light from its twin suns, the light casting a yellowish-brown glow around the small planet, giving the impression of a third sun.
Racing as fast as its engines will allow it, a small, silver ship called a Blockade Runner speeds towards the planet, jets of green light fire from its weapon systems , desperately trying to hit something following behind them as a monstrous Imperial Star Destroyer lumbers after, the dozens of weapon arrays lining its hull ablaze as it returned fire.
The battle is brief, try though it did to outrace it's pursuer, one of the enemy bolts struck the runner's main stabilizer fin, crippling the smaller vessel, sparkling bits of metal and plastic cast adrift into the cold reaches of space as a shudder ran throughout the ship. They were stranded now, limping and unable to escape as the larger ship crept closer beside them.
Within one of the gleaming white hallways onboard the Rebel ship, another minor explosion rocked the ship, not that the two robots heading down the hall thought it was minor, particularly the taller of the two, there was a nervousness about him despite the blankness of his metal face, both possessed glowing electronic eyes, and humanoid bodies, but the taller had eyes that were gold while the shorter had blue eyes.
MD-3PO was tall and built, as his name suggested, in likeness of the Medic class with a red cross symbol on his left arm and a single wheel-foot to move around on
Engi-D2,the second robot was shorter and more compact with a metal construction hat on his head, obviously a engineer, he tilted his head, his sensors could be wired into the internal workings of any ship, as his forte was mechanical assistance, and right away he didn't like what he had tuned in to learn.
"We're drifting. That ain't good." His mechanical voice only adding to the worry of MD.
"Did you hear zhat?" The robotic medic said worriedly at another shudder shook the ship's hull. " Sounds like they've shut down zhe main reactor!"
"They've damaged the main stabilizer fin as well" Engi said, "And the drive, those Mann imps will be boarding us any sec now."
"Madness, this is madness." MD moaned placing either hand on the side of his head. "Zhere shall be no escape of the princess, this time."
The Blockade runner slowed , managing to limp a little longer before stopping all together, the Imperial cruiser snuggled up and over the runner, almost lazily, drawing them closer towards the open docking bay in its underbelly.
"Vhat are we going to do?" MD asked his companion, "Ve cannot go anyvhere, even if ve could ve it vould be hopeless vith our stabilization fin damaged."
"We'll just have to hope we'll fight them off!" Engi said with determination
A mixed group of red and blue Soldiers, armed with blasters ran down the hall as fast as they could, they're faces grim as they knew they were more then likely racing towards their deaths, but they were soldiers, first and foremost, they knew their duty, whatever end awaited them they would met it head on. MD watched as the group rounded the corner and disappeared.
Scrape! Scrape!
"Did you here zhat?"
The strange noise came from the end of the hall, they barely had time to turn there mechanical heads down the hall before the shrieking of overstressed metal filled the air, several explosions followed along with the shouts of the Soldiers waiting down the bend.
"They've broken in!" one yelled.
"Give' em hell, boys!" another called.
" Screaming eagles!" screamed a third
Bursts of red and blue beams lit up the hall as intense beams of light shot every which way, burning holes in the metal and plastic walls, screams of the dying piercing through the din, impossible to distinguish friend or foe amid the cacophony, in seconds the air was filled with smoke and crisscrossing beams of light and the horrific smell of burnt flesh.
Not that MD or Engi could actually smell it, but their delicate receptors recoiled at the stench, in seconds the Soldiers reappeared, running towards them and less in number then before, they rushed past the droids, MD turned his head just in time to see a large brute of a man in grey come round the corner, shifting the big rifle he held for firing before a blast shot past MD and destroyed his face, bits of bone and flesh splattered the walls as more of the enemy boarding party rounded the bend, they were a mixed group of various classes, Heavies, Demomen, Engineers and Medics…etc, each of them wearing something grey and eager to kill.
"I'm coming for you, cowards!" a second heavy yelled as they all trained their blasters on the Soldiers down the hall.
Intense jets of light flew from both sides, and the bots were caught in the cross fire, a blast scouring the floor beside Engi's feet.
"Quick, this way!" He yelled to MD, intending to retreat from the Imperials. "We've got to warn her highness!"
The robots hustled it down the hall past the Soldiers standing off against the enemy, the hail of laser fire continued throwing up smoke, silhouettes visible as fighters on both sides took damage,
The form entering from the entry point was enough to make even the Soldier and Sniper flanking the door shake ever so slightly , taller then them by a head, covered head to toe in black mechanical armor, his heavy footsteps somehow loud enough to drown out the firefight happening further down, maybe it was just their nerves? Metal masked face glancing at the carnage littering the hall, indifferent to the death all around him.
Without speaking he headed further in, the two mercs following at a respectable and safe distance.
He had one job and he wasn't going to let anything stand in his way, a dark Sith Lord was a powerful being, terror given form, in seconds he had closed the distance between door and battle, the metallic visage broke through the cloud of smoke, the remaining Soldiers saw it and instantly their resolve broke, dropping their weapons, they fled back down the passage in a panic as the grey uniformed Imperials parted without a word for the metallic warrior to stroll part them.
"Bring me their officers."
The command was short and sharp as any sword. The mercs scuttled down the hall, heading towards the sounds of fighting further in.. One battle was over but others still needed sorting out.
MD ducked into a side corridor as several Soldiers ran past him, retreating from more Imperials no doubt.
"Engi-D2- where are you?" Gold eyes scanned the recess lined corridor for any sign of the engineer, behind him came the sound of more screaming, impossible to tell if they belonged to Rebel or Imperial. Wheeling forward a flash of metal in the dimness caught his attention.
Engi-D2 was there… and he wasn't alone either.
Stooping in front of him was a young woman, even by the standards of man and machine, she was beautiful, dressed in white with a black skirt, brown hair gathered in two swirling buns on either side of her head underneath a grey cap.
An open briefcase lay beside her, and she slipped a data card into Engi's torso, MD moved forward slightly curious, but in a second she was gone and only Engi was coming his way, was that the princess, they were coming to warn her, and she was the only rebel Scout on board, and he was certain he had seen a Scout.
"There you are." He said when Engi joined him. "Vhere have you been? Ve vere supposed to be varning zhe princess."
"Already taken care of, Doc." Engi replied, "She knows the cliff-notes of what's happenin'."
"Good", MD nodded his head towards the hall, "It von't be long before they come back this vay, looking for human survivors. Vhat vill we do? Ve're rebellion robots, they'll likely assume ve know more then ve say. Ve'll be sent to zhe spice mines of Kessel to be turned into who knows vhat. That's if zhey do not blast us to bits on sight."
"Then we better not be here when they double back." Engi agreed, already turning and ambling down the passageway.
"Vait, vhere are you going?" But Engi didn't not respond, muttering to himself MD rolled fluidly after him, Engineer robots, he thought to himself, could be most confusing sometimes.
Outside the Blockade Runner's control center the last of the Rebel fighters had been mopped up. A sullen faced group of ship personal had been gathered by the Imperial troops, several lay wounded, others dying, a small group of Medics in white helmets with a red cross on them were separate from the others, the rank insignia on their red and blue uniforms marked them as officers. Dignified and determined, they faced the grey uniforms staring them down.
Dark cape billowing behind him, the armored warrior stomped into view, the blank Rusty Reaper mask he wore underneath his helmet only adding to the fear his entrance caused, the aforementioned Medics defiant looks melted as their knees started to tremble. Stopping before them, one black gloved hand reached out and crushed the nearest Medic's throat in a grip like steel as his feet left the ground. The Medics eyes bulged, but he stayed silent.
A Demoman in a riot control helmet with a cracked visor stepped forwards, "Bad news, boss, we got nothing. Computer's been wiped clean as well. They've sent no transmission's either.
Darth Merc gave a barely perceptible nod, unreadable mask facing back to the medic in his grasp, tightening his grip. The Medic grasp vainly at his hand, but the pressure remained.
"Where are the data tapes?" He rumbled threatingly, "Where is the information they sent you?"
"Ve've - intercepted- no transmissions", the Medic gurgled barely able to choke the words out, "Ve are… a councilor ship." From deep within he summoned a cry of outrage, "Did you not see our …exterior markings? Ve're on a… diplomatic m-mission!"
"Damn your lies!" Merc bellowed leaning closer to the frightened man. " If this is a councilor ship where is the ambassador? The markings on this vessel hold the stamp of the Alderaanian Royal family. Who else are you transporting?"
Underneath his hand something in the Medic's neck gave, bones popping and a frantic wheezing came from the doomed man's lips, his last words unintelligible and muffled before going limp.
With a disgusted snarl Merc threw the dead body across the room to the far wall. Everyone ducked out of the way.
Merc whirled around to the mercenaries in grey, instinctively they shrank back, his face imperceptible under the mask but his rage unmistakable.
"Tear this ship apart piece by piece until you've found those plans." His eerily calm growl letting them know how angry he was. "And bring me any passengers, I want them alive." He added. "Get goin'!"
Every Imperial split up, relaying orders through their comms, spreading the orders as quickly as they could before their bosses rage could turn on them.
Engi finally halted in a corridor devoid of smoke or battle scarring. Worried, MD stopped beside him.
"You've lead us halfway across the ship. Now do you vant to tell me vhat-"… the Mechanical Medic broke off, watching as Engi reached up and snapped the seal on a hatch of a model of. Instantly a red light flashed and a low alarm cut through the silence.
" Are you insane?" MD admonished glancing around the passage, but it remained empty. Engi was already pushing his way inside, the pod was designed for humans and the robots awkward gait was making entry a challenge. "Zhat pod is for humans only. Get out, Raus Raus.
Engi turned around as he entered. "Get a move on, Doc. I've got a mission and it ain't here waiting to be caught."
"Mission, vhat mission?" MD wondered, irritation clear in his tone. "Vhat are you talking about. Has your neurological circuits shorted out?" He shook his head. "No more adventures. Ve aren't allowed and I'm not getting in zhere."
Engi shrugged, "Then enjoy getting turned into scrape."
MD crossed his arms in time for a fresh explosion to blast open the far wall of the corridor, patches of flames erupting along the interior wall underneath. Muttering under his breath again, MD jumped into the pod.
"I'm going to regret zhis." He moaned.
Engi flipped a series of switches, closing the hatchway shut with a snap. Then pressed three buttons in a specific sequence.
"How do you know zhe activation sequence?"
"The princess told me while explaining my mission." Engi responded simply. He pulled a final switch, "Hang on!"
There was an explosive whoosh, accompanied by the clanking of latches being released and the small pod released from the injured Runner.
The word spread quickly through the comms, the last pockets of resistance on board had been swept up, those involved killed or captured. With a satisfied grin, the commanding officer on board the Imperial cruiser allowed himself to relax on the main deck, keeping an ear to his head set, listening for any additional orders.
"Sir." One of the Soldiers eyeing the monitors called for his attention. Turning about he headed that way and bent down to examine the circular screen and saw a small dot dropping away from the ships, heading towards the planet below.
"Another pods been launched." The Soldiers hand already hovering over the button that would send a fiery beam to obliterate the pod. "Orders?"
"Hold your fire." The officer grunted casually, taking in the blank readings coming from the vehicle. "Scans show no life forms aboard. Must've short circuited. Don't waste your power.
"Sir, yes sir." With a silent nod the officer turned and went back to his post.
The corridor was deathly silent as the group of Imperial mercenaries stepped inside, there was no signs the battle had spilled in here.
"See something." A Heavy grunted," Watch back."
The others waited at the door as the Heavy moved towards one of the alcoves built into the walls and peered in.
A slender, shivering figure dressed in white huddled far back in the recesses and staring up at the towering man. He could now see her face clearly, her description fitting that of one Darth Merc was most interested in.
The Heavy turned his head slightly around.
"Princess is here." He called back to the others. "Set for stun –
His eyes swiveled back around as the princess moved, he only had enough time to register the energy pistol she had pulled out with lightning speed and was now leveled at him.
The Heavy fell first, a burning crater right between his eyes, the other three jumped back as the princess burst from her hiding place. The pyro charging in behind him met the same fate, mask melted by the heat.
"You knuckle-heads ain't even worth the effort!" She taunted raising the blaster again.
She never got a chance, the second the Heavy fell the Sniper of the group had raised his weapon and with the pyro now out of the way, a blue energy halo struck her and she instantly dropped to the deck, pistol still gripped in her bandage wrapped hand.
The Sniper and Scout that were left clustered over her. The Sniper bent over and studied her with a trained eye.
"She'll be all right." He said turning to the Scout after a moment, "Get the word out we have the princess."
"Gotcha." The Scout tilted his head, hand already reaching up to turn on his headset. His face split into an excited grin. This could be his ticket to a promotion.
MD stared out of the small viewport set in the head of the tiny escape pod, gazing out at the bright yellow dustball of Tatooine drifting closer, already the crippled runner and Imperial cruiser had faded almost out of mind, if they landed somewhere civilized, he hoped it was far away from anymore run one with the Empire. He was not built for fighting and he'd already seen enough conflict to last several life times.
"Are you sure that you know how to steer zhis thing?" He inquired to the robotic engineer behind him.
"Rest easy, Doc." Engi reclined further against the pods cramped interior, "Everything's going according to plan."
That didn't lift MD's confidence as much as he hoped.
That's it for this one. I'll be the first to say I haven't actually played the game Team Fortress two, but I've been a fun a couple of years and read up on the characters and lore so hopefully I do it justice. If it isn't clear, the rebels will be the Red and Blu teams. While the Imperial/ Mann-pire will be wearing grey. Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter. Reviews are welcome .