AN: Since I just watched 4x16, I decided to discontinue my current work and start on a new one. Since Shaun and Lea lost their baby, I decided to write a fix-it fic involving them trying again (continuing "Beautiful Boy" honestly felt too painful for me to do, so I decided to try something new…so sorry to those who were looking forward to another chapter of that story because I know how much we all hate discontinued WIPs in fanfiction). Here is the first chapter, I hope you all enjoy.

Shaun and Lea never expected this to happen to them. Sure, for Shaun, he had grieved his brother and his rabbit, but the death of a baby was something totally different because he and Lea were already attached to this baby too much and looking forward to becoming parents to the little one.

When Lea was pregnant, both she and Shaun developed a special bond with their unborn child (even though it did take a while for Shaun to become attached).

But then, it was all taken away from them at five months (around the time she started to feel some movement).

When it happened, all they wanted to do was to shout, scream, and cry. Lea wanted to hide under the covers and never come out, and all Shaun wanted was to be distracted. They would easily feel sick and have trouble concentrating on important things. They both felt a mix of different feelings - sadness, depression, and anger.

The dreams they had of holding their little girl and watching her grow were gone. So much of what they wanted and planned for were lost.

In the aftermath, this caused a huge strain on their relationship.

For Lea, she often lashed out at others more than she usually did, crying a lot and often getting easily angry. In addition, the stretch marks she still had served as painful reminders of what she and Shaun had lost.

She did talk to her mom about it, hoping it would help, but instead she received an insensitive "maybe it's for the best", in which she was probably implying that she believed her daughter wasn't cut out to be a mother or that she wasn't okay with the fact that she was pregnant with an autistic man's baby. She felt so offended by those words (not even telling Shaun or Claire about it), and instead just pushed people away instead.

As for Shaun, he never wanted to talk about the loss at all…and then started spending more time at work than he ever did. He straight up refused to share his feelings with anyone.

However, what both Shaun and Lea wanted to do was to just pretend like it never happened and try to move on, but that wasn't working at all.

When Shaun misdiagnosed a patient and when Lea had a huge breakdown right in front of Dr. Glassman (he told him he needed to be there for Lea as much as she needed to be there for him), that was when that cowbell needed to be rung. Both Shaun and Lea realized they needed counseling and support if they were ever going to get through this and if their relationship was ever going to continue to survive in the long term.

So, that very night after Lea broke down sobbing into Shaun's arms, they immediately booked a grief counseling session.

During their grief counseling appointment, Dr. Moran (who suffered pregnancy loss herself) suggested that they think of ways they could remember their baby since pretending that it never happened usually never worked for most people, and that special remembrance has helped many who went through this move on.

"You could collect keepsakes, like…maybe sonogram pictures? Maybe hold a memorial service and have a chance to say goodbye to your baby? You could keep your thoughts in a journal or maybe even write letters and poems to your baby, telling her how much you love her and miss her. Plant a tree or create a small garden in her honor. When I lost my son, I made a piece of jewelry with his name and the day I lost him on it," Dr. Moran suggested. "I could also give you the address and time of a support group you could both attend."

Shaun and Lea then decided to go ahead and give their deceased daughter a name, so they chose to name her Eleanor Grace. They picked Eleanor because Lea was already thinking about that name and they picked Grace because it was pretty much the only middle name that both of the grieving parents could agree on.

Once they had a name picked out, they decided to memorialize her with a heart-shaped garden stone by encrypting her name on it as well as the date they lost her and a special epitaph.

Mommy and Daddy will always love you, Berry.

They placed the stone on the side table in Lea's old roomie bedroom, right next to where the framed sonogram was.

Six weeks after the loss, the couple took Dr. Moran's advice and decided to join a baby loss support group, where they met a variety of people who went through a variety of different experiences when it came to the one thing they all had in common - they all had the experience of losing a baby (recently and a long time ago).

Strangely, they actually made some new friends.

Kanish's ex-girlfriend had given birth to a stillborn daughter at eight months due to a blood clot in her umbilical cord. It eventually lead to their split and his girlfriend also ended up tragically dying in a car accident.

Sophia was only 19-years-old and a freshman in college. She originally planned to have an abortion when she found out she was pregnant, but then decided to keep it after her boyfriend tragically died. She wanted to hang on to the only thing that was left of him, but she ended up having a miscarriage.

Tina and James were approaching their late forties and had just endured their sixth miscarriage. They admitted that they were sadly thinking about quitting because they didn't want to spend all their retirement savings on fertility treatment or create a dream that might never even happen.

Rowan and Georgia went through five rounds of IVF so they could have a baby, and they succeeded. Rowan went into labor at 24 weeks and had her baby boy prematurely, but he suffered too many complications and eventually died.

Abby and Victor lost their baby boy at 32 weeks due to preeclampsia, in which they eventually sued their OB for medical negligence. Basically, their son's death was preventable if their OB took Abby's headaches more seriously.

Then, there was Maureen, the leader of the support group. She was the exact same age as Dr. Glassman and she lost her daughter to SIDS back in 1979. Her grief, which is something she never got over, is what pushed her to start this support group.

Shaun and Lea found it weird that talking about their loss to a bunch of strangers who went through a similar experience was actually more helpful than talking about it with people who were close to them.

After a few months of grieving and healing from the death of Eleanor, Shaun and Lea finally felt like they could get on with their lives, and Lea accompanying Shaun and his colleagues on a relief mission at the end of his fourth year of residency seemed to make her feel better as well.

But once they got back to San Jose, Lea revealed a shocking confession to Shaun while they were in bed.

"Shaun, I want a baby," she revealed. "I want to try again, and I think I'm ready."

Shaun thought it was odd that Lea was asking this when they haven't even gotten to the date that Eleanor was due to be born (which was closely approaching), but he decided to go ahead and have that conversation with her.

Physically, it was recommended that it was best to try and conceive again three months after losing a baby. But psychologically, it was recommended that they wait six months.

However, Shaun already felt ready to try this again, so he decided to give it a go with her.

AN: I hope you all enjoyed this and I hope this was good therapy and coping mechanism. A lot of you might be thinking that it's too soon for Shaun and Lea to start trying again, but I'm going to tell you that Shaun and Lea will realize that trying again was too soon in the later chapters as they navigate pregnancy while still grieving. Please review if you'd like.