Who the hell allowed birds to sing so loud this early in the morning? Ethan groaned and tried to cover both eyes and ears with the bedsheet. The blanket resisted his attempts. Something warm was wrapped around him. Slowly he reached for it. A human arm. Not very like Mia to be the big spoon, especially since she was still suffering from morning nausea. Blinking tentatively he recognized their living room. Why was he sleeping on the couch? Oh, yeah, he had been out late last night, talking about a new job offer and drinking with...

Ethan was suddenly wide awake. He had a drink with Chris Redfield last night. Vaguely he remembered talking about some government agency and bioterrorism. Fuck, how much had he had? Those slow, deep breaths on the back of his head weren't Mia's and the hand on his stomach was to big. His mind raced. So he was in his own living room with a stranger while his wife probably slept upstairs in their bed. This was bad, had he compromised the security of their hideout? The person behind him nestle their face into his hair. On his back, Ethan could feel evidence of the person's morning wood. This situation was getting worse by the second. Something like that hadn't happened since university. At least this time he was wearing all of his clothes. Urgh, they reeked of cigarettes and sweat and this blanket would need a good wash to get the smell out again. Slowly he fished in his pockets for his phone. Great, it was still there. Touching the casing, a vague memory came to his mind.

"I don't think she loves me anymore", Ethan complained for the umpteenth time this evening.
"Stop whining, you know she does", the soldier on the other side of the table responded.
"No, I don't. If she does, she never shows it", he grumbled and took another swig from his glass of whiskey. "And our sex life is terrible."
"She's pregnant, what did you expect?"
"It was not any better before! Ever since we came back from that place, she has been so... distant. And then she was like, 'hey, let's have a kid'. Can you imagine what it's like to just 'do your duty'?"
"Yeah, because working for the police and military is so much more than that", Chris answered sarcastically.
"Oh shut up, old man, you know what I mean. It didn't even feel like she was enjoying it. Just some quick try according to schedule and then go on with the day. I was actually glad when the test was finally positive, it felt so degrading..."

Ethan buried his face in his hands. On a week night in the local pub the two of them were the only guests. Around other people he never could have said all this.

"So, what, you're a poor breeding bull unhappy with his life?" Chris' question was drenched in cynicism.
"Is wanting to have sex with someone who actually enjoys it that wrong?", Ethan asked with emphasis.
"No, no, nothing wrong with that", Chris responded and emptied his glass.
"You'd think that cheering for more than one team would make life easier", the blonde mumbled and stared at the TV screen on the wall. The bartender watched a report on a football game that had ended earlier this evening.
"Excuse me?", Chris inquired looking forth between Ethan and the screen.
"You'd think you'd have higher chances to find someone you're happy with but you just feel twice as miserable if things don't work out. I've had more sex in two months than in all my years of university combined and I'm more frustrated than I've ever been", Ethan concluded.
"Wha... You're talking nonsense again, aren't you?"

Luckily he had Chris in quick dial. Trying not to move too much he glanced at the screen and pressed the button. Somewhere in the room, a phone buzzed. Immediately he hung up. What was going on? There were footsteps on the stairs. Ethan locked his phone and pretended to be sleeping. A few seconds later soft fingertips brushed his hair out of his face.

"Sweetie, good morning", Mia whispered.

Ethan made a show of waking up. She poked the tip of his nose.

"Hey, baby", he answered groggily.
"The two of you are so cute, like two big dogs cuddling on my couch.", Mia giggled. " You could have just come to bed last night, I was so tired after the visit to the doctor yesterday that you would have needed a marching band to wake me up. But it was so nice of Chris to bring you back home safe and sound."
"Chris?"

The body behind Ethan moved and he nearly fell from the edge of the sofa as the arm around him was taken away. A yawn blew warm air on the back of his head.

"Hurm, morning..."
"Good morning, Chris. You two can just get changed and come to the ktichen, I'm gonna make you some breakfast. I'm starving", Mia laughed and danced towards the kitchen, humming a tune.
"She seems to be in high spririts", Ethan commented while trying to get farther away from the other man. Even with clothes on, this just felt a bit too friendly.
"Shower, then coffee", the older man grumbled and stood up.

Ethan gazed after him as he went upstairs. For a man in his mid 40s, there was still a noticeable amount of muscles and the tight trousers did wonders to accentuate his narrow hips and his peachy bottom... okay, time to shake these thoughts off. Bad enough that he had accidentally - and completely smashed - confessed he was not only into women. A quick cat bath and some fresh clothes ought to do him some good and then it was back to his lovely wife.

"Hm, something smells good", Ethan sighed as he walked into the kitchen.
"Pancakes, fried eggs and bacon. Coffee is already done", she replied and kissed him on the cheek. "Did you guys have a nice time yesterday?"
"Just smalltalk and a few drinks."
"He could really come visit more often, I like having him around. It get's a bit lonely, don't you think? I'm still struggling with the language, these locals got a hefty dialect."
"So you haven't given up on learning it?", Ethan asked and poured himself a cup of coffee.
"It'll make grocery shopping much easier. Plus, it would be nice to have some other mothers to talk to."
"Yeah, you're right. Just don't overexert yourself, babe."

The door to the living room opened.

"Right on time, breakfast is ready", Mia greeted Chris who was walking in now.

The three of them sat at the kitchen table, Mia still humming in between bites. She really seemed much more happy today, Ethan thought. On the other hand, the way she munched down on the pancakes showed that the morning sickness was absent today.

"So, what did the doctor say yesterday?", Chris asked.
"Everthing is fine, she is growing and prospering. And, as far as we can tell at the moment, she should be mostly free from the mold", Mia beamed.
"That's great", Ethan said enthusiastically.
"Sweetie, would you mind going shopping later? We're almost out of flour and I have a list of everything we need?", Mia requested. "Chris can help with the dishes in the meantime."
"Sure, sure. I'll get my keys. Love you", Ethan kissed her goodbye.
"Be safe. I love you, too!"

A few days later Ethan had mostly forgotten what had happened after his talk with Chris about the job offer. All in all everything looked fine, his wife was feeling much better and he started to feel at home in their new house. When he wasn't working on his laptop from home, he helped Mia fulfill her dream of a garden with vegetable beds and berry bushes.

"Hey, can you pass me the wire? I'm almost done with securing the branches", Ethan called down from the ladder.
"Here, sweetie. How about we stop for today? The trellis looks great and I'm dying for some cake", Mia suggested.
"Sure, let me just put the tools away and go pick up the blackberry bushes you wanted from the market."
"You don't have to do that today, I invited Chris over for coffee."
"I won't be long", Ethan kissed his wife and grabbed his jacket and wallet from the porch.
"Leaving your wife alone with a mutual friend all the time is not nice", she pouted. "Are you avoiding him?"
"No, no, nothing like that... I just remembered there's a sale on some plants and I want to get you something nice."

When he came back from the market, a familiar four-by-four was already parked in front of the house. Ethan put the pots away and brought a few new tools to the shed. A chuckle escaped him as he thought about how stereotypical masculine it was for him to spend almost half an hour for the perfect shovel to easily dig up the ground where he had planned the raised potato bed.

Mia and Chris were still engaged in a discussion when he slipped into the house quietly and began to remove his boots.

"...no, I don't think he would like that. He can be a bit self-conscious at times", he heard Mia object.
"So what do you propose? I think we should just be open about it all beforehand so he can think about it. It's still a few days to his birthday and if he hates the whole idea we can still change it."

Ethan stood still in the hallway. The voices came from the kitchen, mixed with the rustling of paper. It sounded like they were planning something. He was torn between curiosity and feeling guilty for eavesdropping.

"Well, that would ruin the surprise but I have to admit you're making a good point."
"Did you already buy the items?"
"Yeah, they were delivered a week ago. Like advertised, discreet shipping. I don't think he even noticed the package."
"Shit, maybe you should have waited. Chances are you end up with a closet full of stuff you'll never use", Chris groaned. "Are you even sure about his preferences?"
"Oh, come on, we both know Ethan enough. I still believe it would make a great gift", Mia stressed.
"I'm still not convinced. You still could..."
"No, no, no. Not happening. You're the only one I can trust with this. I'm not going to hire someone else."
"Gee, thanks", grumbled the man. "Though I still don't get why you'd ask me."
"He likes you, I trust you. Sounds like reason enough."
"Are you always this headstrong? Poor Ethan..."
"If I wasn't, I wouldn't be here today. Here is the list. There are only four hard limits I must insist on. We can negotiate the rest later."
"After we've asked him?"
"Yeah, he might want to add something I forgot."
"Still telling you, this is nuts", Chris groaned.
"Oh you big worry wart..."

Ethan slowly opened the front door and closed it with a louder thud. He had heard enough to feel really guilty now. It sounded like the event they were planning was elaborate and he didn't want to spoil the fun. His mind wandered to fishing trips with new gear or a long hike and camping in the wood. That would explain why Mia could not or would not be the one executing the plan.

"I'me home", he called from the entryway.
"You're late! Would you kindly set the table? I'm already cooking dinner", Mia answered.

On the kitchen table lay a chaotic bunch of printouts and handwritten notes. Before he could really read anything, Chris swept the paper up and put them away in a opaque folder.

"Hello, Ethan. Successful hunt for those plants?", the older man asked.
"Yeah, that and a few new tools. I'm thinking that besides the raised beds, I could also build a climbing trellis for cucumbers or grapes. What do you think, Mia?"
"Sounds great, honey. Oh, please lay out the good knives, we're having steaks and salad tonight."

Dinner was delicious and talking to Chris about construction and gardening turned out to be fantastic. It seemed the older man was a treasure trove of knowledge about almost anything, whether it was about the best fertilizer for fruit trees or how to build a solid canopy. But every now and then he noticed Chris and Mia exchanging arkward glances as if they were silently debating on who should broach the topic they had talked about earlier. After they'd finished their plates, Mia handed each a bottle of beer and sat down with her own glass of orange juice.

"To gardening and friendship", Ethan jokingly toasted.

Chris only grumbled an incomprehensible response and looked to Mia expectantly.

"Ethan, sweetie, we wanted to talk to you about something. Actually, we wanted your opinion on something we would like to gift you... kinda...", his wife began awkwardly.
"Oh, right, like for my birthday, right?", he played dumb.
"Yeah, you know, you and I've had our troubles in the past. And I'm sorry if I've been a bit negligent about your needs lately, so we thought about it, and...", she swallowed and looked to Chris for approval, "we wanted to make it up to you in a way. My libido is quite shitty at the moment, but we thought that you would be open minded..."

Mia's resolve seemed to waver as Ethan stared at her in incomprehension and disbelief. Was she asking him for a divorce? What the hell was this about?

" I don't get it. What do you mean, 'open minded'? And what does your libido have to do with Chris?"

His confusion was on the verge on turning into rage. Chris took another pull from his bottle before setting it down on the table with a thud and interjected.

"Calm down, tough guy. Mia and I have talked about this and it was her idea. She asked if you'd want to have sex with me."

"Wait... What?"