Falling

by rainbowwriters

After the attack by Mercy Graves on L-Corp, Lena has to face her feelings about Kara and because of her actions, Kara in turn has to figure out how to finally be honest with Lena. Angsty Identity reveal story, Supercorp.

COPYRIGHT: The following is a work of 'fan-fiction' and no copyright infringement is intended against those who own the rights to Supergirl and all related characters. All original Characters are the possession and copyright of The Rainbow Writers.

Please note that while we are big fans of the TV Show, we are not up on every nuanced bit of history and lore, so if we get something horribly wrong... we're sorry in advance.

TW/Suicide: No character death, but due to emotional angst one character feels suicidal and makes an attempt on their life. We wanted to be upfront so that no reader is caught unaware and have to endure undue mental heath pain. We urge anyone who is experiencing thoughts of self harm or suicide to please reach out to anyone in their life they trust or to a mental health hot-line.

Pairing: Supercorp Set: Season Four Episode Two, after Mercy has attack L-Corp. Branch from Canon from this point out.

Falling

By: The Rainbow Writers

Lena's body was still literally buzzing from the adrenaline of Mercy's attack, her focus having been so split as it had been divided between worry about keeping Eve and Kara, mostly Kara, safe and 'leading' or 'following' Mercy's trail through L-Corp. She hadn't been 'ready' for any kind of show down with the woman who she was classified as a big sister, but when faced with the chance to press Kara away safely into the corridors and hallways of the building, and keeping Mercy in the confines of one of the labs sub rooms, it had been an easy decision to come to. The brunette realized it was more luck than anything that Mercy had chosen the apparently 'bigger' gun arm of the Lexo-suit, to face her with in the stand off. Because in all honesty, if she had chosen the smaller one that Lena had herself been forced to use, she knew she probably wouldn't have made it long enough for Supergirl to find them an ultimately end the situation successfully.

Lena couldn't even remember if she really thanked the girl of steel for her intervention before she had pressed backwards, towards the main building, through the door way she had shoved Kara, and following the relatively easy path the blonde must have taken.

Coming out into one of the main hallways on the level green eyes panned instantly around, her head moving quickly looking mostly at faces, yet at the same time not seeming to register the dozens of DEO staff and L-Corp staff who were still moving through hallways and downstairs as the red lights and loud alarms had yet to have been cancelled.

"KARA!" Unsure which direction to take from the door that had let out in more or less the middle of a corridor, Lena again looked up and down it. "KARA!" There was no hiding the trace of panic in the brunette's tone as she decided upon a direction and headed the few steps necessary to bring her to the first 'office' room she found. Reaching for the door handle the CEO pushed inside, again scanning the room rapidly for the person she was looking for her. "Stay in place." She urged a young worker who was cowering under her desk just inside the room. "It's safe but wait until the siren and lights have stopped." She held up her hand, making her tertiary examination of the room pause long enough for her to focus on her with steady green eyes.

"Yes Miss. Luthor." The woman's voice showed how 'stressed' the whole situation had made her but she seemed able to take the instruction, part of her wanting to trust that the powerful woman would know what was best to do in the situation.

With a nod Lena took a couple of backward steps out into the hallway again.

"KARA!" She called, this time pushing into a soft run to take her to the next doorway.

"Lena?" Kara's voice suddenly called back to her from the end of the short hall, making it look as if she could have been cowering just beyond it. Supergirl had in fact been handing over Mercy Graves to Alex to transfer her into DEO custody when she'd suddenly become acutely aware of her name being called in the most terrified of voiced by the CEO on the floor above them. Making a quick excuse she'd had to use her super speed to get back into her clothes and then try to find a place she could pop out of. "Lena!" She called again when she saw green eyes come up to pinpoint her and she began moving with urgency towards the brunette who started to move towards her.

"Kara." Lena's tone wasn't anymore calm but there was a vein of relief running through it as she stopped just short of the blonde, her hands coming up immediately to rest on Kara's shoulders as green eyes panned over her body. Lena raised one hand off the blonde's shoulder and moved it to cup Kara's cheek. "Are you hurt? Did you hide like I told you?" The CEO pressed out the questions quickly, looking into blue eyes constantly.

"I'm fine, I did..." Kara tried to quickly answer both of the questions as if she was being honest the fact that Lena's heart was literally racing in her chest was a noise that distracted her at the best of times, but with now being one of the worse it made her more concerned somehow in the short time she'd had to 'run as Kara' before returning as Supergirl that the brunette had been hurt. "Lena, your hands are shaking, are you okay?" She reached up to cup hers over the one on her cheek softly.

"There was a small fight between Mercy and I before Supergirl managed to find us, I'll have lots of bruises by the morning, but that doesn't matter..." She shook her head. "You are, you could have been seriously hurt. I'd never have forgiven myself if that had happened. I wasn't going to let that happen Kara, you know that don't you?" She stressed reaching up to smooth her free hand over blonde hair.

"I know." Kara said the words softly, having the acute memory suddenly of how decisively Lena had pulled her back in behind her when Mercy had confronted them downstairs, fully intent on making it so that the terrorist had to go through Lena to get to her. "You were amazing."

A soft huff of a laugh came from painted lips, along with a subtle head shake.

"You did good too." Her voice seemed to flood with emotion. "I know how terrifying that must have been, but you listened to me, you followed directions, you trusted me." She stressed, and obviously without truly processing what she was doing or saying really, the brunette pressed up and lightly pressed her lips to Kara's. "I'm so glad you're safe." She whispered onto them as she kissed her.

Being who she was Kara understood the feeling of duality that suddenly hit her, as one part of her literally felt like she was flying as Lena pressed their lips together in the distinctly unfriendly kiss. The chaos of everything going on, the uncertainty of what had just happened was all dwarfed by the intense physical and emotional connection she automatically felt from the simple impassioned kiss. The other half of her of course panicked; after all Lena Luthor was kissing her? Moments after a harrowing life endangering experience in which the CEO had seemed to focused on protecting Kara, innocent breakable Kara, that Lena had taken risks with her own fragile humanity in the process. Of course the other thread of that panic was the fact that the woman kissing her was also supposed to be seriously dating one of her best friends.

At first the side of her that simply was memorized by the kiss, the unexpected delight of it, won out, so that by the time Lena softly pulled back and blue eyes finally opened to blink at the brunette, all Kara did at first was wet her lips together to savour the taste of Lena's distinctive red lipstick as it lingered there.

It was green eyes that seemed to focus the very next second, the brunette's look changing from one of total relief and joy, to one of horror and shame.

"Oh Kara..." Lena pulled her hands and arms back away from the blonde, pressing the palms of them together as she flared her eyes a little more. "I am so... so sorry." She shook her head and looked away, the reality of what she had done hitting her harder than any of the moves that Mercy had managed to land. "That was so inappropriate of me." She summed up her tone shifting to the very noticeable and very familiar 'business' Lena one as, though she didn't actually step back she did seem to pull herself as far back from the blonde as she could.

"Lena, it's okay." Kara's voice was tender and she gave a soft head shake to dismiss the apology mostly because the sudden shift she saw, the hint of hurt and self deprecation that flashed across Lena's face before she locked down on everything, felt like the worse blow landed during the whole attack.

"No Kara.. it's not." Lena's whole body stiffened that instant and the brunette did take a step away. "You should go home, rest... I need to sort out things here." She motioned with her head vaguely down towards the main exit.

Almost before Kara's brain could catch up with her, she realized whatever had just happened Lena was already slipping away and considering the circumstances she could do little about it.

"Please... later, call me?" She put forward hearing the slight pleading tone in her own voice.

A few meters away already Lena stutter stepped to a stop before glancing back over her shoulder.

"Okay." The words wasn't soft or at all expressive. It was a classic Lena Luthor 'open promise', one that Kara knew honestly meant little. Before waiting for any kind of response the CEO focused again on her path away from the blonde, her heels tapping almost impossibly loudly in the chaos.

-x-

It was hours later. Mercy was now in a box downstairs at the DEO, as Supergirl moved through the halls of the enormous facility and finally without even knocking pushed her way through the half open door of the Director's office having already determined that her sister was inside.

"I brought shakes." She held up the two large take out cups, and moved to deposit one in front of her sister before she caught her cape up in one arm to wrap it to the side and with a flick of it closed the door to shut out the rest of the office before she sat down in one of the chairs at the front area of Alex's desk.

"Where did you go?" Alex glanced at the drink offering and then at her sister with equal amounts of incredulity and question. "And where have you been?" She added the follow up.

"Sorry, I had to go so quick but I could hear Lena was trying to find Kara, considering she'd pushed me out a door to hide from Mercy as they both had a Lexo-suit gauntlet off, I knew how worried she was about the me that is not supposed to be bulletproof." Kara tried to stick to the easy explanations first. "Then... I made sure everything was clear at L-Corp and got us shakes." She purposefully took a big gulp of her own. "I thought we deserved calories."

"I'm not saying no to the calories, I'm just more interested on how you just managed to drop two hours on a wrap up that I left... over ninety minutes ago because I was happy it was safe." Alex leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. "What did you do, deliver a little potted plant to every desk in L-Corp to make people feel better?"

"Should I do that? Do you think it would help? People were very afraid, I know with cause but..." Kara questioned but then seeing Alex's face stopped. "You're not being serious." She frowned more playing with straw in her drink. "I patrolled the city. I needed to think for a bit."

"About how you're going to approach question Mercy?" Alex offered a reason. "Don't worry about it, that's my job." She let an almost feral smile slip to her lips. "Though why did you let yourself be led into a dead end, desperate situation in the first place?" She leaned to take her own drink. "Couldn't you have just headed for the nearest broom closet and plead a horrible fear of conflict?"

"I tried!" Kara snapped the words softly, giving away another clue to her sister about how 'unsettled' she was. "But Lena wasn't having it, you should have seen her Alex... she was like you, but without an arsenal of guns strapped to her legs. She wasn't going to let anything happen to Kara." She pointed out specifically. "Every step of the way, her focus was on keeping Kara safe, even when we got to the basement area and Mercy cornered us, she blocked herself in front of Kara the whole time, even when Mercy was pointing the gauntlet at us. Lena was willing to die to protect Kara."

"You know you're talking about yourself in the third person right?" Alex arched her eyebrows slightly. "And though I am glad to hear that someone was watching your back, that person was a human, and no matter how like me you think she is right now, she was wearing a pencil slim skirt and heels, not exactly hero style." She pointed out with a hard breath. "Though I'm glad you have mentioned her because you... Kara Zor-El have to work out how you are going to convince her to hand over the Lexo-suit."

"Really? That is what you are focused on right now." Kara's eyes went wide and her jaw locked as she pushed up again to stand. "Do the interrogation, keep me in the loop if you get anything, I have to go." She moved towards the door with no look back.

"Kara!" Alex pushed off her chair at the abrupt way she had just been addressed. "What was that?" She motioned to the desk as her sister turned just her head, blue eyes fixing on her. "Of course I have to focus on the fact that yet again Lena Luthor has kept something considerably dangerous from us. That's what we do here, assess, evaluate and control threats to this planet." She stated firmly. "And though I don't doubt that she reacted bravely and quickly in reaction to Mercy's attack, I have to remember that in some ways Lena could have made all of this a lot easier for us if we had known what Mercy might have been going after." She outlined more.

"She wasn't going after the suit Alex!" The lock in Kara's jaw didn't ease. "She was trying to get into L-Corp's mainframe to completely destabilize all of the image inducers so that every alien on the planet would be exposed." She clarified the point her sister seemed too narrow minded to figure out. "And she wasn't just brave Alex, if I wasn't Supergirl... if I was just your sister the reporter, Lena saved my life today."

Alex too pulled hard tension into her face as she looked at Kara for a moment and then let out a breath seeming to try to release the tension the conversation was forcing. She pressed out from around the desk and put her drink down on it.

"What's really going on here Kara?" She said her tone low and softer, years of reading the younger woman had taught her that Kara didn't flare quickly, ever, unless there was something in the background that she didn't know or understand.

"Just the usual Alex." Kara gave a heavy shrug. "The reality that no matter what Lena does, no matter how many times she helps, no matter how much good she does... everyone just sees her as a Luthor, a ticking time bomb of a threat."

"Because she lies Kara, she keeps secrets and she has an agenda that no one else knows." Alex came back at the Kryptonian, trying not to sound harsh, just honest.

"Wow, that whole 'thing' doesn't sound familiar does it? Doesn't sound exactly what I do every single day?" Kara snapped again with a flare of blue eyes. "I really need to go Alex, I don't want to do this right now." She pulled open the door.

Alex was quick to close any distance that remained between the two of them and slammed her hand onto the door to push it closed.

"You have no choice." She snapped angrily.

"Yes, I do." Kara stepped in closer to her. "Now get out of the way."

"Do not think of doing anything stupid if I move away from this door." Alex growled.

"And what stupid thing do you think I'm going to do now Alex?" Kara growled back.

"I don't know with you right now." Alex shook her head with conviction. "Go on National television and bare your soul for all I know." She seethed. "Supergirl is anonymous for a reason." She continued. "You and Lena are nothing alike." She added. "She is a human, a human with connections, contacts and information that we know nothing about. It's not that I don't trust her I just know that the page I am on is not the same one she is." She tried to reason now, hating to be openly fighting with her sister. "You only hide because it's the right thing to do."

"Stop confusing what is right with what is easier and less complicated." Kara shook her head to the assessment. "But don't worry I have no intention of going on TV and telling the world." She edited herself from adding that there was only one person she really wanted to reveal 'the secret' too right now and get it out in the open.

Alex let all the tension and anger she felt rolling around her head and heart press back into the recesses of her self and breathed out slowly.

"Why don't you take both shakes and go home, settle on the couch and as soon as I'm done I'll come over?" The older woman offered. "We scored a big win today, just rest in that and pick up the fight again tomorrow."

"I think I'll pass, I'm just going to go patrol and wait for something important that needs Supergirl." Kara shook her head moving her hand to the door. "You've got a lot to do here, you won't be done until really late I'm sure."

Alex eased her hand off the metal of the door and stood upright though with a slight stoop in her shoulders.

"Okay." She rolled her shoulders in a loose shrug. "I'll call you if there is any progress with Mercy." She added.

"You'll get her to talk." Kara gave the soft thread of support no matter how much tension filled the room before she finally pressed out. To her sister's immediate dismay, she didn't take either shake with her.

-x-

Returning to her desk at Catco seemed like a relatively safe thing to do. After all she should be working with the rest of the newsroom to cover the big attack at L-Corp, should be acting as if somehow she wasn't in the middle of it all when it had happened and now because of it felt like her whole world was tumbling with uncertainty and confusion.

As the elevator dinged and she began to make a beeline to her desk she couldn't help but feel her steps stall as she looked sideways and saw that Nia was in a familiar pose, leaned down on her desk clearly asleep. The image brought a sad frown to her face of worry, and for a moment it gave her mind something other to fret over. So instead of heading to her desk she immediately moved to the desk of the younger intern and reached out to put a soft hand on her shoulder.

"Nia? Nia?" She said the second repetition a bit louder.

With a jolt the brunette went from asleep to awake in an instant, dark eyes darting around in a quick check of where she was and who had woken her.

"Miss. Danvers." She almost squeaked Kara's name and then seemed to admonish herself with a frown. "Kara." She changed the greeting. "I'm sorry I have this thing." She made a soft motion to the side of her head. "Do you need something?" She asked on automatic. "No, wait, you were in the attack on L-Corp, what are you doing here? Mr. Olsen said you would be away for the rest of the day at least." A worried frown replaced any look on Nia's face.

"Honestly, I'm only here to try and do something other than think about all of it." Kara made the soft admission even if it didn't completely give away the truth of what was weighing on her. "But now I'm more worried about you, go home Nia, You're clearly tired, and it's okay, we've all been there, I'll cover for you." She smiled softly. "Get to bed early and try to catch up on a few hours at least."

"Oh no..." Nia shook her head immediately. "I'm not tired, that is I am but..." She frowned distractedly. "I have that sleeping thing." She offered up vaguely. "You know when it just happens, even though I might have just had a full eight hours." She swallowed quickly looking at Kara with a nervous smile. "Please don't tell Mr. Olsen, I don't want to lose my job."

"Jimmy would never fire you for having a medical issue Nia." Kara underlined immediately. "Even if he tried, don't worry he'd have me to deal with." She insisted trying to make her feel better. "And if you have narcolepsy, have you talked to your Doctor about it since you've taken on the job here? I know stress can impact it and we both know this place is stressful."

"No, that is I don't have a doctor here yet..." Nia offered with a shake of her head. "I've been meaning to get around to it but, we've been very busy."

"How about we put that on your calendar to do asap?" Kara smiled at her softly. "Actually, does Jimmy have you doing anything at the moment?" She checked looking over towards the Editor's office to see through the enormous glass walls that it was empty.

"No, well just watching on line news story trends." Nia pointed to her monitor. "It's more something I like to do than have actually been asked to, I find it helps keep things relative." She offered.

"It's always good to keep yourself on point." Kara gave her soft approval to the practice. "But if you can pull yourself away, maybe I could interest you in going to dinner with me? We'll call it work related and spend at least a hot minute discussing pitches for round table."

"You want to have food with me?" Nia seemed to perk up. "That would be... that would be fantastic Miss. Danvers."

"Kara, remember." She smiled at the younger intern. "You've been to my house Nia." She gave a soft laugh.

-x-

"Order what you want Catco is paying. Miss. Grant taught me a long time ago to use the perks when you're able too." Kara finished her order with the waiter and urged Nia to do the same. The younger intern having seemed to be flustered by what she should order even though they were only in a local Chinese food restaurant that everyone at Catco often frequented. When the waiter finally retreated she watched Nia fuss with the placement of everything on the table in front of her and wondered not for the first time if she'd been this awkward with Cat Grant in the early days.

"It feels different eating here with you, as opposed to getting take out for the office." Nia said a little nervously. "You make it feel much grander." She gave a nod to herself that this had been the right term.

"Well thank you." Kara bit her lip. "But I can assure you it's still just the Wok N Roll." She gave a soft laugh. "How was the newsroom after the attack hit the wire?"

"Crazy." Nia's enthusiasm picked up instantly. "It was all 'we need eyes on the ground', 'Send a fleet of reporters here' and 'then it got worse when I worked out that you might actually be in the building." She admitted a little quieter now. "I remember you had left earlier to interview Miss. Luthor about her old employee."

"Yes, and it will come out soon but it was that ex employee that ended up attacking the building." Kara let out a soft sigh.

"Mercy Graves?" Nia whispered the name.

"The one and only." The blonde nodded. "It was chaos I can assure you." She admitted remembering how everything had gone so wrong when Eve had raced in advise Lena that the building had gone into lock down.

"I can't even imagine." Nia shook her head. "I'd have spent the entire time in a washroom, cowering in a stall." She admitted with wide eyes. "Do you think Jimmy will ask you for an exclusive?" She added focusing back on Kara for a moment. "What did you do?"

"I did the equivalent of what you would do, Miss. Luthor on the other hand... she was so brave Nia." Kara couldn't help but let her true unfiltered thoughts out for a moment. "Lena made sure the three of us stayed together, her PA was with us." She filled in. "We made our way through the chaos, being shot at and chased, down to the vault where the servers were, she knew Mercy wanted to disrupt all of the image inducers and expose every alien wearing one. She even put herself between me and Mercy when she held us at gunpoint." She simplified the idea of the gauntlet not wanting to reveal that small detail to anyone outside of the DEO.

"Wow." Nia made the small noise of surprise and astonishment. "I had no idea she could be like that. I mean everyone knows she's a shrewd business woman, and I know the two of you are friends." She added with a small smile at Kara. "I just didn't know she was so... confident, so in control." She shook her head again. "But I do know that I am so happy you got out safe, both of you, oh and her assistant I assume." She offered with a soft laugh.

"Yes, Eve was fine." Kara acknowledged with a soft nod. "It was a crazy day I'll say that." She moved to drop her napkin in her lap with a soft sigh. "Actually Nia, could I bounce something off you? Not work related at all." She underlined the fact.

"Of course." Nia nodded enthusiastically. "I'd like to think me being your intern would mean we could become, friends." She offered.

"I'd like to think we're already friends." Kara corrected her with a smile.

"I don't like to be presumptuous." Nia meek tone replied, with a small dip of her head.

"Well let's just consider it no longer presumptuous and just a fact." The blonde urged her as she took a sip of her water. "The truth is Nia... I had something happen today that was even more out of the blue then the attack and I admit it has me reeling a little."

"What happened?" Dark eyes went wide with shock.

For a moment Kara realized she had to think ahead of herself. Only because what she wanted to talk about fundamentally involved the young woman's boss and that boss' boss. And the last thing she needed was Nia getting in her own head about knowing something she thought she shouldn't.

"Ladies..." Before Kara got the chance to begin her reply, Jimmy Olsen strode up to there table, a smile on his face as always as he took in their presence. "I hope I'm not interrupting a work meeting because I was told you were signed off for the day." His look lingered on Kara.

"We're going to discuss work just long enough to have Catco pay for dinner." Kara put a bright smile on her face as she looked up at him. "Unless the boss edits my expense account." She threw Nia a soft look of conspiratorial 'in the know'-ness.

"If I did that I'd have to edit my own as I'm here to pick up something for myself." Jimmy nodded to the pick up counter with a quick flick of his eyebrows. "I was hoping it was going to be a pick up to go and eat with my girlfriend after her hard day but..." He shook his head. "I just got the brush off." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and gave it a quick wiggle. "So at least I'll be able to work on the edit of this weeks post."

"She's probably swamped trying to settle everything." Kara tried to diffuse the 'brush off' for Lena, suddenly feeling very centred on the idea it was more because of what had happened between them afterwards.

"Talking of which... Nia..." He looked at the brunette with a smile. "I want to see if you can work on getting an interview with the reporter who apparently was at L-corp for the whole attack." He glanced at Kara with a quick grin.

"I think I could work on that." Nia smiled across at Kara.

"She can, but not right now." Kara pointed out, her smile as warm as always. "This is a girl's gossip meeting, not that you heard that officially."

"Didn't hear a thing?" Jimmy took a few steps away from the pair. "I'll see you both tomorrow." He held up his hand before moving completely away to the take out counter.

"Seems like someone better have questions ready for me first thing in the morning to get copy on his desk before the evening edition." Kara continued to grin at Nia.

"You think he was serious?" Nia looked from Kara down to Jimmy and back.

"Jimmy doesn't usually joke about interviews." Kara pointed out seriously. "And since I can't interview myself objectively..."

"This is amazing." Nia's eyes widened. "I'll have questions for you, lots of them." She beamed. "But like you said..." She flapped her hands a little. "Not now, now you were asking me something right?" She urged the other woman. "Or at least telling me about something that's on your mind."

Almost trying to be subtle, Kara looked up and confirmed from the way he jingled his keys and the door to the restaurant closing behind him that Jimmy was gone.

"Well okay... this really is girl gossip territory so if you'd rather just stay professional..." Kara tried to give her the option to skip her revelation, knowing it would be more supportive for her to focus on Nia's 'big' interview even if it was her.

"No, no." Nia shook her head. "We're friends, and friends talk." She underlined.

"Okay, well after the whole attack happened... a close friend of mine did something that I have to admit, I never expected and I'm feeling bad both because of the fact in the moment I was reeling and didn't give a good enough reaction and now I don't know how to even start to figure out the situation." Kara started knowing she as soon as she did she was being so convoluted and taking in circles it confused even here. "That made no sense..." She confirmed Nia's look of confusion. "After the attack, an old friend of mine, who was clearly out of their mind with worry came to find me at L-Corp before the police had cleared me to leave..." She started with a soft breath in to centre her strength. "And to give you context, this friend and I... we are just that, close but nothing closer." She took another breath. "In fact I never really considered we could be more because it just didn't seem part of the story? If that makes sense and add to that they're in a relationship..." She groaned softly.

"Okay... wait." Nia seemed almost to wince slightly as she went through everything that Kara had said, piecing together the actually facts from the confusion. "So this friend... they did something more than friendly?" She clarified the point. "Like kiss you?" She offered.

"Exactly." Kara was glad that the young woman had guessed the dilemma rather than her having to say it out loud.

"Oh my." Nia summed up softly. "But they're already committed to someone and you don't know what's going on." She continued to solidify points.

"Exactly times two." Kara gave a hard nod.

Nia nodded in understand, before a slightly quizzical look quirked her brow.

"Did you stop them? I mean the kiss, did you flinch away or..."

"No. I think my reaction could be more classified as enjoyed it." Kara said honestly and a hard blush came to her cheeks. "I can admit this to you but no matter how out of the blue it was, it felt... so right." She lowered her tone to show how serious she was.

"Oh." Nia made the small noise again. "Maybe the best thing to do would be to lie low for a while?" She offered though there wasn't exactly any conviction in her tone. "I mean if was a spur of the moment thing..." She stopped. "Did it feel like a spur of the moment type thing?"

"It felt like I... I was afraid you were going to die and I was going to lose you, I can't lose you... kinda moment. Overwhelmed?" Kara tried to sum up what in retrospect she'd worked out about the kiss.

For a long moment Nia didn't say anything, but then she leaned in closer to the blonde across the table.

"I didn't want to say this loud but I think I should admit it..." She began, giving Kara a quick look. "But I know Jimmy rushed to L-Corp when he heard about the attack, and I don't want to assume but..." She glanced at the door almost as if checking the man wasn't for some reason returning to the restaurant. "You know you mean a lot to him right? And Miss. Luthor was also in danger..." She continued. "And he's a very expressive kind of guy." She offered softly.

For just a moment, Kara knew what it was like to be 'human' because she was sure she was going to just die on the spot. All of her Supergirl invincibility was simply stripped away and the sum of the mortal coil was leaving her body against her wishes as Nia read the situation so close to the truth but at the same time so wrongly.

"No, no Nia." Kara finally found her voice but it was too high, she could hear it in her ears right away. "It wasn't Jimmy." She underlined but then had to give a sad laugh. "And me saying that just convinces you that it was Jimmy even more." She admitted looking at the young woman.

"No, no of course not. If you say it wasn't Mr. Olsen then..." She paused and took a quick breath.

"Nia, it was Lena." Kara let the bomb drop with a soft bite of her lip.

"Lena... Miss. Luthor?!" Nia now looked a little as Kara had just moments before, her mouth slightly agape. "Miss. Luthor kissed you?" She put all the pieces together in a statement.

Kara was about to respond when the waiter arrived to deliver their meals and she let the moment of interruption pass before she finally did speak.

"After she had saved my life, pushed me into a safer corridor to take on Mercy herself, a heartbeat before Supergirl arrived to help Lena in turn and take Mercy into custody." Kara tried to give context. "She came running to find me, panicked I had been hurt and then as we stood there trying to sort through the fact neither of us was... hurt... she kissed me and I kissed her back."

The young brunette moved her hand to her face and lightly pressed her fingertips to her chin as she took in all that Kara was telling her, before she dropped it to the table to play with a chop stick.

"But you're just friends." Nia offered. "Like good friends, or like us friends?"

"Good friends, really good friends." Kara underlined with a soft sigh. "She's coming to Thanksgiving dinner, just like you are." She offered up the context.

"Awkward." Nia said the word almost silently.

"Please, if this is going to weight on you, or make you feel uncomfortable we can just forget I said anything and pretend I'm suffering from post attack concussion or something." Kara waved her hand around far too much and sent a fork off the table off to stick into the wall beside them. "Oops." She gave an awkward smile and pulled it out of the wall.

Nia watched the whole scene with a soft uncomfortable look on her face.

"Kara, as we're friends, I feel I should tell you something, just to underline how okay I am with uncomfortable." She pressed her lips together before looking across at the blonde. "I'm a transgendered woman." She offered her own 'bombshell'. "I know how the curve balls that life throws at you makes you feel." She licked her lips as dark eyes met blue. "And I know what it's like to have a secret that makes you feel... twisted up inside."

"Nia..." Kara's whole look and body softened as she reached out the short distance across the table and put her hand over Nia's. "Thank you for sharing that with me, for trusting me." She put her other hand up to her chest to show how honestly impressed and moved she was. "I had no idea..." She made the admission in a soft voice. "I have always just been impressed by what a genuine, invested, principled young woman you are." She made the soft underline of the fact that given forever Kara doubted she would have ever considered that Nia was going through something so 'intrinsic' just behind the intern's usually pleasant and understanding visage.

"I try to be what I want other people to be too." Nia was honest and gave a soft shrug. "It's honestly why all this hate speech and actions have riled me like they have." She admitted. "I know what it's like to be pushed to the outside, to be out of the 'normal'." She pressed her lips together again. "And I know before you think that I'm equating anything that you just told me with my own story, that I need to stress that I am not."

"Actually it makes me feel I chose the right person to talk to." Kara squeezed her hand again before finally pulling it back. "Someone who understands complicated." She offered up the umbrella to qualify the situation.

"Precisely." Nia smiled. "I also know the importance of being honest with yourself." She breathed out softly. "What happened today, how do you actually feel about it?" She pushed slightly. "Because there is a bigger matter here than someone cheating on someone or someone acting out an impulse, that being, how it affected you."

"You're going to make a great reporter." Kara offered up with a soft smile as the question so carefully cut through all the noise and all the background right to the heart of the matter. "I've never kissed a woman before." She made the admission first almost as context.

"If it helps, me neither." Nia offered with a grin.

"It does." Kara blushed again softly. "And if you had asked me if I thought I wanted too, or I would enjoy it... I think before today my answer would have been a definite no." She breathed out hoping the honesty wasn't too cutting. "But now, after... I'm kinda scared of the answer."

Nia nodded understandingly.

"Your sister, Alex..." The younger woman began. "She's gay right?"

"Yes." Kara nodded quickly. "Very, and I've tried to be there for her through all of her coming out, which only happened in the last year or so." She tried to give context. "So one would have thought I'd have had all the time in the world to think about it in the context of me, but... with Alex, she was the brave one. She met a woman, Maggie, who was already out, who she fell for and Alex was the one to finally be honest with herself and then went for it."

"Well I am very happy for your sister to have been able to do that." Nia nodded genuinely. "But your experience doesn't have to be anything like hers." She pointed out. "And just because you were kissed, or jointly kissed a girl doesn't mean you're gay." She went on. "What defines that is how it felt and how you feel about the person it happened with."

This elicited a undefinable noise from Kara as she played with the napkin in her lap.

"Lena..." She started by just saying the woman's name, almost giving herself permission to enjoy saying the brunette's name. "Has always been extremely special to me, I was like you when I first met her, she was this paragon of business, the Luthor heir, I'd read so much about her, had so many misconceptions about her..." She gave a soft laugh. "But now she is..." She tried to think of the right word but it was suddenly hard even for her as a reporter. "Lena." She finally breathed out. "I'd do anything for her."

Nia picked at her food as Kara made her reply and then held her utensils still, dark eyes looking at the blonde thoughtfully.

"If we took Jimmy out of this scenario, what would you want to happen next?"

Kara again appreciated the question and took a moment to really think about what her honest answer was.

"I think I'd want to talk to her, make sure it wasn't just a panic response, make sure I wasn't out of my mind thinking she actually was attracted to me so I wouldn't be to blame for doing something else stupid like kissing her again." Kara blurted out the answer and then seemed to shake her head. "You're very good at interviewing, don't ever doubt that."

Nia gave a soft small shrug.

"I think you should talk to her." She offered. "The complication about her relationship status is something separate to the main issue here." She paused and then frowned a little. "I'm sorry if I'm supposed to say don't even think about it she has a boyfriend." She gave another shrug. "Because that's not what I'm saying at all. What you need for you, is to know why it happened and what it means?"

"Thank you, because I think you're right." Kara's voice was as soft as her eyes were. "What happens between her and Jimmy, is up to the two of them but I deserve to understand what happened." She agreed with herself nodding to shore up her confidence before taking a big breath. "Now we need to eat before this gets cold." She smiled at the dinner partner. "And I think it's only fair that you tell me who is on your radar..." She grinned as she picked up her chopsticks.

-x-

"Knock, Knock." Trying to keep her voice even and 'normal', even though her heart was in her throat, Kara fake wrapped her knuckles against the half open door to Lena's office and said the words as she saw the brunette bent over her laptop at her desk.

With the smallest of frowns dancing briefly across her brow, the CEO turned to look at the door pushing up off her chair as she did so and taking a step to bring her round the desk to head to the door.

"Kara?" The brunette's voice was soft but edged with genuine surprise. Lifting her arm elegantly Lena glanced at the watch on her wrist. "It's so late, what are you doing here?" She asked as she took paces towards the door, her feet falling silently on the floor as her heels were discarded under her desk. "You should be at home resting after the chaos." Lines of worry pulled at her brow.

"Considering you were the hero of the day, I could say the same thing to you." Kara offered back in a soft tone of concern, moving to meet her mid way in the large office as she always did.

"Hardly the hero of the day, as usual that would be Supergirl." Lena corrected softly, her green eyes lowering a little as her face evened into a less than neutral line. "In fact I'm honest surprised I haven't been interrupted with a caped visitor wanting to know just what I was fighting Mercy with when she found us." She admitted with a quick flick of her eyebrows.

Stopping short of Kara, the blonde could see for a moment the brunette second guessed herself before pressing forward and closing her arms around Kara's body in a soft welcoming embrace.

"Seeing you is a much nicer prospect." She added in the hug.

"I hoped you wouldn't be upset about the interruption." Kara didn't hesitate from hugging her back immediately, her head filling for some reason with Nia's prompt again of 'how does it make you feel' as she realized how much sharing this intimacy with Lena had always meant to her. "I just wanted to check in and see if you were okay." She offered up as a start, purposefully not being the first one to pull back but waiting for Lena to do so.

The brunette did this the next moment, pointing with one outstretched arm to the couch as she crossed to the open bottle of scotch in its place.

"It's been a long day." She said as she set up two glasses, pouring scotch into one and then a soft white wine into another. "If I didn't have so much to do I would have called it already." She added honestly before crossing to the couch and settling both glasses on the table.

"Thank you." Kara moved over to smooth her dress pants down her backside as was her habit, before she sat down and looked at the glass of wine. "I hope you're not going to be here too late, you've clearly sent almost everyone who was here home, except maybe security, the boss deserves to relax after the chaos too."

"I'm afraid the boss is here until the work is done." Lena gave a soft sigh unfastening the button holding her jacket closed, the brunette slid it off her body to relax, she laid it lightly on the couch arm before turning back to look at where Kara had settled. The brunette now just in the short sleeved patterned black and white shirt and skirt she had been wearing all day, she clearly wasn't aware of the light blue and grey bruises that littered her uncovered skin. Curling her leg under as was typical she sat down and offered Kara a smile. "Why do you think I have the most comfortable over sized couch in my office?"

"Oh Lena... your arms." Kara's face fell the moment the jacket had slipped off and she'd seen the reminders of the fight that Lena had been through downstairs. She reached a hand out to slide her fingertips over the skin of her lower arm just past two of them.

"Oh I'm sure the one over my hip is much brighter." Lena offered a light laugh, as if trying to make light of the situation.

"Have you taken something for them?" Kara's frown didn't dissipate with the brush off that was so the CEO.

"I took my heels off, and I'm having a scotch." Lena leaned and picked up her glass, raising it slightly before taking a sip. "The long relaxing muscle soak will have to wait for another time."

Kara had to take a minute to almost fight with the urge to just scoop the brunette up and make her pay attention to herself, rather than something as inanimate as the business around them.

"No matter what I say you're not going to worry about yourself are you?" She asked the question in a soft tender tone.

"Oh I assure you I spend enough time thinking about myself." The brunette shook her head and settled back into her corner. "You seem tired Kara.. or maybe just shell shocked? You really should be thinking about yourself too." She offered the blonde softly. "I didn't work so damn hard to make sure you were okay, just to have you succumb to stress and post trauma shock."

"I'm fine Lena." Kara shook her head softly back to the worry. "Like you just said you made sure of that and that's part of the reason I'm here..." She figured she'd given the brunette more than enough time to actually even hint that she might want to talk about what had happened. No, she knew Lena Luthor well enough to know she'd talked herself out of that ever happening and now she was trying to plow ahead and hope that Kara wouldn't blow up their friendship and punish her for the slip. "I wanted to say thank you again, for everything you did to protect me... for putting yourself between Mercy and me... for taking care of me."

Lena gave a soft eye roll.

"I can see why Supergirl likes you so much if you stroke her ego like this after every heroic thing she does." The green eyed beauty gave Kara a side smile. "It was my fault you were in danger at all Kara." She went on to lightly shake her head. "The least I could do was make sure you were all right."

"Please don't do that." Kara shook her head back her voice holding a hint of sternness. "You didn't create that situation, Mercy did, so you're not at fault and..." She took a breath turning more to look at the perched brunette's usual poise in the corner. "Please don't make it seem like what you did to protect me was some sort of secondary outcome and not what you were focused on, please." She added the last word her voice softer.

Taking a moment to process the blonde's words before replying Lena settled both hands around the glass in her lap and looked across at Kara.

"I couldn't have bared it if you'd have been hurt." She said the words in a quiet voice. "You're one of the most precious people I have in my life." She offered the continuation, obviously being careful about what she said and how she phrased it.

"And I'm not going anywhere." Kara swallowed softly as she turned and didn't realize she's slid closer across the cushions until she seemed to already be doing it. "I want you to understand that above anything."

Lena looked down at her hands and the slightly moving amber coloured liquid in her glass.

"You're talking about what I did aren't you." She barely whispered her eyes never coming up.

"Yes, I think we need to Lena, because honestly it's all I could think about since." Kara whispered back letting her emotion show in her voice.

"I'm so sorry, I haven't been able to stop thinking about how it must have thrown you, how shocked and probably rightfully disappointed you are in me." The brunette pressed her lips together, as she brought her head up a little but green eyes were cast to a distant part of the room.

"I will admit to being shocked, but not disappointed." Kara admitted softly, knowing the tactic the brunette used of picking a point to steel down her resolve and focus on getting through something.

"I try my very best to control my feelings, my emotions." Lena continued her focus never switching. "Revealing them is a weakness I learned a long time ago." She let her tongue slip out to wet glossed lips. "But that doesn't mean they're not there, that I don't feel." She hated the fact that she could feel just the very touch of a tremor in her locked jaw as she spoke. "I was terrified that something was going to happen to you."

"And if it had, you'd have never kissed me?" Kara asked the soft question in prompt for a moment feeling like she had to lock her arms at her sides to not reach out and gap the space between them.

"How could I? I'd have let you down." Lena shook her head tightly. "Failed." She summed up.

"No..." Kara shook her head softly. "If something had happened, and you'd never had the chance to kiss me... so you took the chance when you could..." She tried to lead her to what she'd been trying to ask.

"You must think I'm a horrible person right now Kara, and I understand that." Lena blinked a little too much to hide the fact she was fighting tears.

"Please Lena, stop putting words in my mouth that aren't there." Kara shook her head strongly back and forth. "I don't care about Jimmy, this isn't about Jimmy..." She spelled it out finally swallowing. "I just want to understand why you kissed me because Lena I don't think you noticed but I kissed you back."

Lena pushed up out of the seat and cast aside her scotch glass on the way up, wrapping her arm around her stomach as she stood looking away from Kara at a ninety degree angle.

"I kissed you because I had to." The brunette breathed out.

This caused Kara to swallow again before she pressed to stand up, the move not as abrupt and hard as Lena's had been. Skirting around the table in a few steps she moved until she was right beside the brunette, whose lack of heels made her the taller for a rare moment.

Lena turned to look at the blonde in her new position, so close, so... perfect. Pushing herself forward the brunette slid an arm to Kara's waist and pressed a hard kiss onto pale lips, pressing up on her toes to make the match even.

For the second time that day Kara was sent twirling into the feeling like she was floating. The clarity that Lena had already given her to explain the earlier kiss, made this one all the more important somehow. Bringing her hands down to rest on Lena's waist she pressed back into the kiss without hesitation this time, letting herself feel how it made her feel, how right it felt and how right Lena felt against her.

Feeling hands touch her body, feeling the movement, the delight of lips against hers suddenly wasn't enough for the brunette, in a movement more directed than free, Lena stepped them back to the couch, pressing Kara down onto a cushion. All the while kissing her, pressing her tongue into the blonde's mouth as she followed her down to rest on her lap. Small hands threading up into blonde hair as Lena kissed her harder.

The couch groaned underneath them as they landed, Kara having been so easy to push over mostly because she didn't have a defence against Lena. No, every defence she had was disengaged by the overwhelming feel of the brunette's kissing her, then kissing her deeper in such a confident but somehow needy way that showed Lena was letting herself do the one thing she rarely did, feel.

Even the hands that threaded through her hair did nothing but cause a shiver of pleasure to roar down her spine and make her body suddenly feel a light with want and desire.

She couldn't tell how long the extended kiss had gone on. But she'd let it go on long enough that she'd let her tongue explore Lena's mouth in turn, the experience making her body feel like metal being changed from one form to another by the majestic face of the sun. But as the kiss extended into a line of hot, intimate kisses her brain finally kicked back in and the moment she had been secretly dreading since she'd starting thinking about what could happen if Lena did actually want her and the original kiss hadn't been a mistake, finally came to dose her with cold water.

"Lena..." She tried to pull back a bit and get the brunette to focus more on talking then what they were doing. "Lena, please, I need to tell you something." She breathed out noticing how thready her voice was from the pleasure already coursing through her veins.

Lena's entire body changed instantly, a hard stiffness pulling her back.

"No... not that kinda tell you, please I don't kiss someone like this unless I mean it." Kara breathed out still feeling a little like she was running as her heart raced along with the sound of Lena's in her ears.

The fight in Lena was obvious, the instinct to just pull back completely, stand up and move away, to shut down all of what had been exposed and go back to the wall that she made herself be, against the one that wanted to pause, to hear what Kara wanted, no needed to say and only then to react.

"I want to just keep kissing you, to... " Kara took a slow breath to show what she was hypothesizing might happen in a way if she didn't stop them and say what she had to say. "Don't doubt that, please don't doubt that but I can't do that and not tell you the truth, the whole truth." Just the corners of her mouth turned down into a frown. "Because you deserve to know the truth." She took another breath and moving her hands up she undid the button in the middle of her shirt and pulled back both sides to reveal the partial red, blue and gold S crest under it.

This time Lena's reaction was immediate there was no fight to pause and listen, no hesitation that stopped her from literally bolting off Kara's lap, her green eyes sparkling, her mouth slightly open. Pressing back far enough to hit the back of her calves on the table Lena's burning eyes never left the Kryptonian crest.

"Get out!" She pointed towards the door with her hand, her voice cold, almost icy.

"Please Lena, can we just talk." Kara pleaded with her as blue eyes pooled with hot tears the instant she saw the fury that was pointed at her.

"I said Get Out!" Blazing wrath simmered just below the clip of Lena's words, her hand shaking slightly as she fought to control its continued point towards the exit.

Kara goldfished for a moment, wanting to be able to explain so much, but she also couldn't stop the feeling that right now she couldn't take what little power the brunette still felt she had away from her and 'impose' what she wanted to do, as Supergirl would in Lena's mind.

"Please, just think about talking." Kara took steps back to the door and held wild green eyes for a moment longer as her own tears coursed down her cheeks before she finally turned and fled.

-x-

Right up until the moment that Kara had walked into her apartment, she had been waiting until that moment in the hopes that it would give her some isolation to deal with her emotions. The street outside had been busy so she'd been forced to land a few blocks away and then walk home as Kara, even though her eyes were red and puffy from crying and she could only guess what she looked like as she felt as if she may burst into tears again any moment. She'd been grateful that no one from her building, her well meaning neighbours who she'd worked hard to be friendly with, had seen her to know that something was wrong and start in on a barrage of concerned questions.

All of that worry became real the moment she pressed inside and the first thing that greeted her was Alex sitting on her couch in a oversized stretched stripy wool sweater and a pair of 'relaxation' leggings. Suddenly their exchange back at the DEO came back to her and reminded her that the meltdown with Lena hadn't been the only 'bad' part of her day which should have warned her that her sister would be looking for her to clear the air.

"Alex." Kara said the name tightly knowing that she would never be able to hide her distraught state from her sister. Even if she'd known outside that she had to prep, she'd already flew around crying for far too long for the tears to not be obvious to the woman who could read her the easiest. She moved to dump her bag and her coat directly on the island and move towards the sink almost as a desperate 'hide' manoeuvre, tearing off a section of paper towel to dampen it in some cold water.

"Kara?" The older woman pressed up of the couch as Kara moved towards the kitchen area, a hard frown coming instantly to her face as she watched her sister do the 'avoid' manoeuvres she had adopted many years ago, not long after landing on earth. The blonde had a habit of dropping her head and moving quickly when she was either uncomfortable or upset. "You okay?" She reached the island herself and leaned against it.

Kara didn't answer for a long moment, as she took the cold towel and pressed it against her face trying to centre herself.

"Honestly Alex... no." She started the words before she'd even turned, but as she did and the first thing she registered was how worried and forlorn her sister looked on her behalf, the last tiny word slipped out and she felt her eyes immediately flood with tears again. She brought the towel up again trying to push the tears back physically because she didn't seem capable of stopping them through willpower alone.

"Hey, hey..." Alex was at her sister's side the next second, a hand on her back stroking softly, the other resting on the island for a little support. "What's going on? Did our fight upset you this much because Kara I'm sorry about that..."

"It upset me yes... but you're not the only one I've had a fight with today." Kara felt the tears start to stream down her face as she felt the soft familiar comfort of her sister's hand on her back and she suddenly realized that if she told Alex, and honestly she wasn't sure how'd she'd get away with not telling her now, her sister was going to be mad all over again. "Can we sit?" She questioned with a gulp between soft sobs.

"Of course we can." Alex actually 'assisted' her sister towards the couch and sat down close beside her as soon as the blonde had settled, reaching out the brunette grabbed the nearest box of tissues and set it down between them.

"I just need you to let me tell you everything before you get upset again about one of the things I'm going to tell you okay?" Kara's voice was thready as she tried to talk through the tears and she saw the concern reflect in Alex's eyes before a nod that she'd attempt too came. "When I came to see you earlier, after I went missing... I had wanted to talk to you about something but it went so far off the rails from where I needed it to be." She took a slow breath trying to get this out, needing to get this out to her sister at least in order to have someone to help her figure out where to go from here. "I told you I went missing to fly around and patrol but I didn't, not really, I needed to think because something happened at L-Corp after the attack." She reached to take a tissue and dabbed it at her eyes. "When I handed over Mercy and I flew off, it was because Lena was trying to find Kara... she was so upset and worried Alex that... she kissed me." She finally got the words out and remembering the cold words of 'get out' echo in her head again she sobbed again.

"Lena kissed you?" Of all the things that Alex may have been expecting, this hadn't even been in the sphere of possibility. "Oh Kara, that must have been..." The brunette shook her head and reached out to lightly touch Kara's hand. "Awkward." She offered.

Kara's head dipped again as she bit her lip and dabbed at her eyes with the tissue again.

"No, Alex that's the problem it wasn't." Kara's voice was a whisper as she made the admission. "I kissed her back, just for a moment, it wasn't a long kiss just... when she finally stepped back she panicked and shut down like Lena does thinking she'd made a huge mistake letting herself admit her feelings and she went to focus on the easiest thing other than me to focus on, the attack." She tried to fill her sister in knowing she'd given her a run down already of how intense the fight with Mercy had been, Lena's heroic attempts to protect 'Kara'.

Alex made sure to edit any and all reactions she had innately to her sister's words.

"And you wanted to talk to me about it all and I just made it worse because of the things I said about Lena and about you." Alex used her softest voice. "I'm sorry Kara, I had no idea something like that had happened. You must be feeling confused, or at the least unsettled about it."

"It gets way worse." Kara locked her jaw trying to figure out how to breathe with the tears she felt endlessly streaming down her face. "I... I went to see her tonight." She looked up at Alex finally to meet dark eyes with sad blue ones. "To talk to her, to figure out what was going on, you know?" She asked the rhetorical question and saw Alex immediately nod that she could understand Kara doing this. "And she admitted... she'd kissed me because the thought that I could have been hurt, could have died..." She left the easy to understand sentiment open. "And she admitted in that moment she couldn't not kiss me finally." She took a slow breath. "And I reminded her that I had kissed her back and then suddenly we were kissing again..." She made a motion with her hand and pulled another tissue. "And it was... just like a movie Alex, everything suddenly made sense and I felt like I was floating there with her, not flying just floating... it was perfect." She sniffled out a smaller sob as her mouth pulled down into a hard frown.

Alex gave her sister a look of soft sympathy.

"That sounds almost beautiful, not something to cry over Kara." She whispered.

"I know but then I did the thing you're going to be mad about, but honestly I just need you to understand..." Kara reached out to grip her sister's hand, the tissues palmed between them. "I couldn't, we were..." She gave a soft eye roll and then locked eyes with her sister again. "How could I do anything like that and lie to her?"

Trying hard not to flinch, which had been her first reaction, so instead Alex just pulled in a breath and squeezed Kara's hand.

"You told her you were Supergirl." She offered the 'reveal' gently.

"I had too." Kara admitted with another lip bite. "And she... she suddenly was so cold Alex, all she would say was 'Get out'. She... I have never seen that look in her eyes before, directed at me, not even at Supergirl when we've fought over stuff." She felt her breathing grow heavy again as more tears ran down her cheeks. "I ruined everything."

"Hey now... shush..." Alex soothed, shifting closer so she could slip her arm around her sister tenderly. "It was a big thing you told her and Kara, it's been three years that you've not told her..." She offered her view point carefully. "She's going to be shocked and angry, not just at you but also at herself." The brunette bit her lip slightly also. "And that's not even considering any feelings she has for you that go above and beyond friendship. That's just based on the fact that you lied, you kept secrets from her for a long time." Alex rubbed her hand across Kara's back. "She's going to be hurt. But I'm sorry that it happened this way."

"I just... I don't know what it is Alex but I can't shake the feeling she's not going to get over it." Kara admitted the deepest fear she had. "That I've ruined everything, our friendship, anything that could have happened... all of it is just poof." She made a sad explosion motion with her hand and then turned to lean into her sister sobbing harder.

"That's a big leap to make." Alex countered. "She's going to need time, that much is obvious, but you can't decide that everything is ruined before you've given it chance to be okay." She squeezed Kara a little tighter. "I think it was pretty obvious, before this, that you and Lena, well no Kara and Lena were the best of friends." She pointed out. "And best friends go through tough times, just like any other important relationships do." She tried to get Kara to look at her. "Take you and me, it's not always been roses and sunshine right?"

"No, but I've always known deep down it will always be okay." Kara admitted this fact as she held on as tight as she knew Alex could tolerate. "I just... kissing her Alex, I felt so... alive, so... I don't even think I can describe it."

"You don't have to describe it, not if you felt it." Alex shook her head with a soft smile. "And hey like I'm going to call you on kissing a girl." She winked.

"That's why I was trying to talk to you earlier, I knew you of all people would understand." Kara made the sniffled admission.

"I do and I know that what happened before the reveal is enough to send anyone, even Supergirl into a bit of a head spin." Alex sympathized gently. "I remember the first time I kissed Maggie..." She blew up into her hair and shook her head. "I thought it was the 4th of July in my brain and heart, with fireworks going off and visions of love hearts swimming in my eyes." She laughed softly. "And honestly, and I'm not mentioning this to make you feel bad, I just want you to understand how blinded by the moment you were, you didn't once think of the fact that technically what you two were doing was being unfaithful to Jimmy did you?"

"Not until later." Kara made the groaned admission. "But even still when I went there, I knew I needed to know how she felt, what she really wanted despite of Jimmy. I think I said as much to her."

"Sounds a little to me like a part of you wanted this." Alex pressed a little, "And no I don't mean the blow up and the pain, I mean the part where Lena kissed you."

"No, I mean I didn't ever think about it. I was always just so happy that Lena wanted to be my friend at all." Kara made the admission she knew she'd discussed with Nia earlier. "Why would someone like her want Kara?"

"Well first, I happen to know Kara Danvers is pretty awesome." Alex pointed out. "And second, why wouldn't she?" She gave a small shrug. "She probably thought you were as untouchable to her as you thought she was to you." The older woman offered. "The two of you literally put everything aside to catch time together whenever you can. And honestly, now with this frame on things, haven't you ever thought about how 'touchy' you two are?"

"You think we're touchy?" Kara pulled her head up to ask the serious question.

"You hug her every time you see her, every time she leaves..." Alex pointed out. "She sat on your knee last games night."

"Well you're the expert." Kara bit her lip again and then frowned more. "How can it feel so bad inside? You just didn't see her reaction, hear the tone of her voice." She stalled again. "I know Lena reacts badly to being lied to Alex, but this was... I'm afraid."

"Hey come on now, it's okay, we'll keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't act out or anything." Alex assured her sister.

The eldest Danvers was about to say more when from the island where she had left it, Kara's phone rang.

"I better get that, after the whole attack thing, Jimmy has Nia working to interview me in the morning." She let out a hard sigh figuring that was what it would be. She saw that it was indeed her boss and picked it up. "Hey Jimmy." She tried to push as much fake okay-ness into her voice as she could.

"I need to see you, now." Jimmy's tone was cool, almost demanding.

"I'm at my place, it is easier for you to come here or meet somewhere else?" Kara wasn't sure what to make of his tone, but immediately her fear was it had something to do with Lena.

"I'll be at your place in ten." The connection clicked off as soon as he had set up the plan.

"That was brief." Alex looked at her sister with a frown.

"He said he needs to see me, he's coming here... he sounds... off." She moved back over and curled up on the couch again. "He's talked to Lena." She buried her head in her hands for a minute.

"Okay now... wait up a second." Alex leaned again closer to her sister. "You said yourself he wanted an interview with you, maybe he just wants to point out what not to say to Nia, how to play it all." She offered. "Just because the whole Lena thing is taking up your world right now, doesn't mean it's spilling out all over the place."

"You're right. A part of me can't imagine the first thing she'd want to do is go running and admit to Jimmy what happened anyway right?" Kara tried to find a thread of something to hold onto. "Can I be a total pain and ask you to go get food? It means I can talk to him while you're gone and well eat my feelings with you afterwards."

"I had a feeling that was going to be my role in all of this anyway." Alex nodded with a smile, putting her hands on her thighs in preparation to stand. "Pot stickers or pizza, or both?" She quizzed her sister her smile brighter.

"Both and sugar." Kara underlined with a soft smile at her sister, unable to believe just how much she depended on the other woman and how even if they had an off moment her sister was always somehow right back where she needed her the next.

-x-

Kara could feel the negativity that came into her apartment the minute she opened the door and Jimmy stalked in. His face was empty of any emotion and she could read nothing about why he was there from his face. Despite Alex's warnings not to assume it was to do with Lena, the knot in her stomach told her otherwise.

"Why did you need to see me so late Jimmy?" She offered the opening to get this over with if nothing else.

"Honestly because I thought for a moment that this could wait for tomorrow or something but it can't." Jimmy began as he paced to the island, his tone clipped and short. "I just want to say that in the future if you're going to say or do something that is seriously going to affect me and my life, tell me first." He locked his jaw as he came to a stop and just looked at the blonde. "We're supposed to be friends, but friends don't just take everything away from each other, without warning, without reason." He went on.

"I don't understand." Kara had to admit that honestly even if this was about Lena she hadn't expected this to be his opening statement. No she'd been expecting more direct accusations of how dare you make out with my girlfriend.

Jimmy brought his hands together in front of him, both balled into fists over the other as he kept his eyes on Kara.

"You told Lena." He set out the details quickly and cleanly. "And she promptly dumped me for being a lying, manipulative a-hole." His whole body tensed more. "How could you do that Kara? You know Lena and I have had a couple of 'issues' recently, and then this? You have no idea how uninterested she was in any reasons or excuses I had."

"I'm sorry Jimmy, I never imagined when I told her that she'd take it out on you." Kara flinched back as she realized that if he was aware of the 'bigger' issue he'd have included it in the roundup, but in fact it was almost a little worse. Lena hadn't used that as a reason to 'dump him' what had been her reason was the simple fact that all along he'd kept up the 'lie' for Supergirl. "I thought by telling her it would finally make things easier, make it so that she knew and no one would have to lie about anything anymore."

"Everyone, everyone in her life has done this to her Kara. Lied, manipulated, not trusted her, and I was just, just getting through to her that that's not what life is really like, that there are people who care, who are worthy of trust because they are true." Jimmy paced away again. "And all of that is gone." He made an explosion motion similar to the one Kara had so recently used. "Now she hates all of us. You, me, your sister..." He shook his head. "We've gone ahead and proved her view of the world was right."

"But Jimmy, we couldn't keep lying to her forever and actually change that world view. She needed to know the truth, every day we lied it just kept getting worse and worse... she almost died trying to protect Kara today... Kara... as in me... because she didn't know bullets bounce off me." She tried to get him to understand even a tiny bit whey she might have done it.

"So you should have come to me and let me talk to her." Jimmy snapped back. "She would have listened to me."

"Right, because you're the Lena whisperer are you?" Kara snapped back, her emotions too jagged to take the direct attack he was making this right now. "Seems to me you were the one who lied to her recently and then threw your whole relationship back in her face, so I may be to blame for a lot of this James Olsen but I am not to blame for all of it."

"It is not for you to judge my relationship with Lena, or rather the relationship I had with Lena." Jimmy snapped and then pushed a hard breath out from his lungs. "I just needed to say my piece." He took a long step towards the door. "Avoid me for a few days please."

"Avoid me back!" Kara growled as she let him leave and then walked over to the door and rested her head against it. "First Lena, now Jimmy hates me. You're throwing a perfect game there Danvers." She chided herself pulling her arms around her body before she moved back over to the couch and pulled the throw blanket back over her head.

-x-

If she'd been in the right head space, Kara would have worked out by the way Alex just slipped back inside the apartment about fifteen minutes after Jimmy had left. There was no call out in greeting, just the older woman pressing in and carrying the take out she had with her over to the island, though she hadn't made a point of it, dark eyes did glance quickly over to the couch, where her sister's huddled figure could be made out under the blanket.

Still silent Alex moved to get plates and to take out containers from bags, wondering if Kara would be the first to say something.

"She dumped Jimmy because of finding out he was lying about me being Supergirl." Kara's words were muffled by the afghan but still could be made out by the agent. "He's super angry with me for blowing up his relationship when and I quote 'if he had told her he could have made her understand us all lying to her was understandable and justified'." She scoff in her voice was evident. "And I'm sorry to say you're on her hit list apparently too because of me, because you're a liar like the rest of us."

"I actually kinda worked that one out." Alex frowned and held up her phone just enough to call Kara's attention to it. "Director Danvers, received an E-mail from L-Corp a little while ago, explaining that their CEO was going away for an unspecified amount of time, and that any requests for assistance or information could not be processed at this time." She winced a little as she gave Kara the news.

"What?" Kara pushed the blanket back in one quick motion and moved to stand up looking at her sister in shock. It became obvious the next second that she was using her powers and her face fell into another hard frown. "She's on a private plane, heading east." She plopped down onto the couch again.

"What exactly did you just do?" Alex crinkled her brow.

"Tuned into her... into her heartbeat." Kara looked at her with a soft shrug. "I can do it with people who are important to me."

"Good to know." Alex arched her eyebrow slightly and then moved back towards the couch. "She probably just needs space." She offered tenderly.

"It's why when you were kidnapped I was so worried, he'd put you somewhere I couldn't hear your heartbeat." Kara offered up the more specific example with a frown. "Space from me." She whispered with a hard sigh feeling the tears welling up again.

"From all of us." Alex corrected her subtly. "She's hurting."

"I know, it's my fault." The blonde pursed up her lips hard as she locked her jaw. "She broke up with Jimmy... Alex, what is she doing?"

"That I don't know." Alex shook her head with a light frown back. "I'm ashamed almost to admit I don't know her well enough to understand her patterns, her choices." The brunette continued with the sad truth. "What does Kara think her best friend is doing?"

"Shutting down." Kara's answer was quick and decisive. "I knew in the back of my mind, once we were friends, when I finally told her... her reaction to being lied too. All everyone in her life has ever done is lie to her, manipulate her, play her like a puppet... she's fond of using that line." Her intense frown stayed. "She doesn't believe anything about the last three years was real, I was lying, I was Supergirl who at some points didn't even have a vague mutual agreement of understanding with her, so that is the only thing that was the truth. The lie and that we probably all didn't trust her because she's a Luthor."

Alex's look clouded suddenly.

"You said she was in a private plane?" The brunette visibly tensed as she pulled out her phone. "Does Lena have a pilot's license?"

"Yes, she got it as soon as she was able, I think she had it before she got her driver's license." Kara stood up again seeing how upset Alex suddenly looked. "What is it Alex?"

"I know this could be a complete human worry..." Alex turned to look at her sister. "But we humans tend to do really crazy things if life pushes us to hard." The brunette final connected with who she had been calling. "Brainy, I need details on all small private planes that have left National city in the last half an hour." She spoke her directions to him before looking at Kara. "What if Lena doesn't intend to land that plane?"

"No... NO!" Kara was up and pulling off her clothes to get into her suit with even faster speed then her normal. "Update me on comm." She was focusing down on Lena in a heart beat and went through the large window in her loft making the hinges groan as the two sides was thrown open.

-x-

Lena Luthor had had enough. Enough of everything, the lies, the mistrust, the pain, the secrets, all of it. In short she had had enough of life. Tear tracks marred her make up, her eyes were red and swollen, even her lips were free from any gloss or colour. With a vague glance over the full console in front of her, giving her details on how her plane was flying, the young woman reached to just take a swig from the nearly empty open bottle that she had wedged against her seat and one of the information panels.

Her vision was slightly blurry, from tears and the effect of the alcohol as she looked out into the darkness that seemed to stretch endlessly around her. Only the topographical reader in the instrument panel giving an idea of the stretch of desert below her and the fast approaching mountain range ahead of her.

It was true that she hadn't put a lot of thought into what she was doing, which she herself admitted was odd considering the planner that she was in all things. But this was the first thing that came to, it was a clean and blameless way to bow out. Others involved the pain for another, finding her dead corpse which even in her heartbreak felt wrong. This way there would be no body, no guilt at being too slow or too oblivious.

The only irony that tainted her was the fact that when it was over, it would be her Will that determined all that happened, and that Will had left most things to Kara, well Kara and a small amount to Jimmy.

Laughing hollowly as she had the thought, Lena took another drink, then wedged the bottle safely back where it had been. She was struck suddenly by how the perfect 'Supergirl' would deal with suddenly inheriting so much because of her own destructive treatment of the brunette. For some it would be a welcome benefit to their deception, hell the money would have been the main goal of their deception but even in her blind grief Lena knew that the inheritance would be a burden to Kara. A constant reminder of how she'd been the cause of Lena's destruction and how Supergirl's entire psyche being tied to truth and justice was really a farce.

"I hope you're prepared for your biggest disappointment yet brother." She murmured to herself as she squinted at dials for a moment before shifting the nose of the plan down a little and increasing the engine speed.

An immediate alarm started from the panels in front of her as the nose began to drop as she pulled on the stick in front of her but then suddenly despite her continuing to push the alarm stopped as the nose of the plane came up again to level all on its own. The moment that Lena finally looked up again out the dark window, it was just possible to make out the waves of flowing blonde hair and the familiar figure of Supergirl now holding up the nose of the plane.

Kara's face was a hard permanent frown as she looked into the lighted cockpit to see Lena, and she gave a single shake of her head before out of view she slid under the plane and took control bringing it down to a soft and almost tender landing in the open sand of the rural desert a few moments later.

Once the plane was safely on the ground, Kara moved to the side door, waiting for it to open impatiently.

"Her plane is safely on the ground Alex, I'll call you later to update." Kara gave the quick update to her sister and then turned off her comm.

Really starting to wonder after a long moment if Lena was going to just try to ignore her and make her open the door from the outside. However after that long moment there came the internal click of the door being unlocked and Lena pushed it open, her green eyes swimming a little as she focused on Kara.

"I can't even be allowed to die on my terms can I?" The brunette's voice was slurred as she shook her head at the blonde. "Stupid of me to think it would be this easy."

"Easy? You really wanted to fly into a mountain?" Kara pointed to the now looming range off to their left. "Lena, please... no matter what is going on between us right now, I am never going to let you die. I can't!" She heard the heartbreak in her own voice and it made her feel like she was powerless despite being in her suit.

"Yes Supergirl, I REALLY wanted to fly into a mountain." Lena hissed back. "I wanted all of this..." She waved her hand in a vague circle. "To just stop." She added. "There are only so many boxes a girl can have in her head, and I've run out of room."

"I can accept you hating me Lena if I have too, I can accept that I ruined us if I have too but I will never accept letting you die if I can help it." Kara shook her head moving closer, her hovering now because of Lena's position in the doorway a good ten feet off the ground. "Please, don't say you want to die."

"You want me to lie to you?" Lena shook her head. "Sorry Supergirl, not this time, not anymore. No more lies." She shook her head more looking at Kara with almost hopeless green eyes. "Why couldn't you be the hero I needed Kara?" She asked her voice suddenly quiet and almost fragile.

These words stung Kara deeply but a big part of her knew she deserved them, more than that Lena deserved to say them.

"I tried to be." Kara's voice came back with its own weighted sadness. "But I failed, you're right. I should have told you a long time ago, but it was easier to let you sometimes dislike Supergirl but never lose your friendship as Kara." She made the admission with a harder pang of guilt. "But that's why I couldn't lie to you anymore, not when you were being so honest with me... I know it seems to mean little now Lena, but I couldn't finally let myself feel what I feel for you and still lie to you."

"What hurts the most is that you didn't think, for one moment, that if I knew that Supergirl was my Kara, then I would have been more open, less distrustful, and far less defensive with you than I ever could be with just this antagonist who seemed at most times to barely tolerate me." Lena scrunched up her face. "You didn't even give me a chance, because I wasn't worth the risk."

"You're right I didn't think it out, but it was never because you were not worth the risk." Kara floated closer, but not so that she was in anyway inside the doorway, just up to it so they weren't fighting the wind around them as they tore each other apart. "No, Lena... it was the opposite. I was too afraid of losing you." She said the honest words taking a breath. "You were the only one who ever was honest with Supergirl, you weren't afraid of hurting her feelings, you weren't afraid to tell her she was doing something wrong... and every time we were out of synch just because I was in this costume and being the fake version of me, it hurt me. Because being Kara and being with you was so easy, from the first moment I saw you I just gravitated towards you, I wanted to be near you, that you even so much as wanted to be my friend, boring Kara's friend... was incredible for me. In the beginning I didn't tell you because I had to protect myself I admit that, I have other people I have to protect along with my identity, you know all about the DEO and the complication that is now... and by the time we were friends... I was too afraid of losing you."

"Why? Why did you have to protect your identity from me?" Lena's temper flared a little now. "What did you think I was going to do with the knowledge that my best friend was the woman who took on the responsibility of the whole world? How could you think that would do anything to hurt us?" She scowled. "How could you think that I could hurt you because of it? Because I'm a Luthor."

"Lena I wasn't worried about me being hurt..." Kara's voice was soft as she gave a gentle shake of her head. "I was worried about my enemies hunting you for being my friend."

"They did that anyway!" Lena barked out a laugh. "You think Reign wanted me dead because of my scientific streak? No, it was because I was working with you."

"Lena, everyone I truly loved... my whole planet died... everyone I love on this one is hunted because of who I am, and I know if Reign knew how I really felt for you, she wouldn't have just wanted you dead." Kara's eyes flared.

"I had a right to know who I was falling in love with!" Lena snapped again, fresh tears spilling onto her cheeks.

"Yes, you did." Kara didn't disagree with her. "Which is why I couldn't keep kissing you, do what we might have done and not tell you." She underlined the one of the few points she knew were on her side. "But the truth is even not knowing that I was Supergirl, you know more about me then anyone accept for Alex. You know more about me than people who knew."

"How can I know all of that wasn't a lie?" The brunette asked, her voice quiet again as she wiped her hand almost angrily at her tears.

"Because why would I lie about something as silly as crying every time I watch Ferngully: The Movie?" Kara blinked at her softly. "Why would I lie about finding the sound of you talking about a new research project inspiring even if I don't understand the science of it at all? Why would I work so hard to spend so much time with you if I wanted to be anywhere else Lena? My life is crazy, all of the times I shot off with a stupid excuse I had to put this on..." She pointed to her suit. "But the reason I raced back to you... was you."

"I could have died today, died while you played innocent Kara." Lena steadied her tone and her gaze as she looked at the blonde. "Would you have let me die Supergirl?"

"Lena NEVER!" Kara's voice rose a little for the first time. "I caught bullets, I blew over Cadmus attackers, I stopped the doors from locking us in... but Lena, do you know what I realized as you pushed me behind you to save ME from Mercy? It didn't matter if I was Supergirl, it didn't matter if I had powers, you... you were such a hero, such an unstoppable force that even if I had been just Kara, you would have never let anything hurt me if you could stop it, even if that meant stopping it by being hurt yourself. Your stronger than me, your braver then me... you're everything more than me."

With a unsteady breath out Lena dropped back onto the nearest seat and just shook her head.

"I want to go home." She mumbled weakly.

"I can take you home." Kara underlined softly, moving closer to step into the plane and ease closer to her still. "Can I take you home Lena? Please." Her voice pleaded with the brunette, as did her eyes.

Lifting her chin a little higher and though it wobbled slightly as she looked back at the blonde she continued.

"Well it's not like I can walk in these heels now is it?" She breathed deeply in through her nose.

"Not from where we are especially." Kara agreed with her thoughtfully moving that little bit closer to offer her arm but saw Lena hesitate. "Would you prefer I carry you?"

"Do you think I should be in charge of flying myself back?" Lena arched one eyebrow but reached out to put her hand on Kara's arm.

"You're track record at the moment isn't spotless." Kara gave a soft nod and then moved to lift Lena up into the familiar bridal carry that she often ended up in when she was being rescued. "I'll come back for the plane later, I promise." She extended the offer as she moved to the doorway before she took off through it to head to the brunette's condo some distance away in National City.