Duolingo

Author's note: credit to Jack for the fanfic idea!

One day Duolingo woke up in his nest on a tree at three in the morning. "God fuck damn it." He muttered as he grabbed his French, Spanish, German books along with a gun. "WE ARE GOING TO LEARN SOME FUCKING WORDS TODAY!" He screeched, startling the birds nearby causing them to fly up into the air as animals stampeded away in terror.

The green owl soon crashed through a window of a college student's dorm room sending glass shards flying everywhere. "BITCH. TELL ME HOW TO SAY OWL IN SPANISH." He held a gun at the student.

"HOLY SHIT!" Shrieked the student entirely startled. He was still awake having been studying all night. "WHAT THE HELL, DUO? I HAVE FINALS IN THE MORNING!"

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SAY 'OWL' IN SPANISH, VATO?" Asserted Duolingo pressing his gun onto the student's forehead. The student slapped the gun off his face sending the weapon off into a corner exploding into a tiny ball of flames. He glared at the owl. "LISTEN HERE, DUO! ALL YOU DO IS HARASS ME EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY TO LEARN A NEW WORD. I HAVE FINALS THAT I NEED TO PASS!"

Duolingo bitterly crossed his arms and stomped on the student's desk. "OH GEE WELL FUCK WOW. LOOK AT YOU, SOME IDIOT GOING OFF INTO THE WORLD NOT KNOWING A SECOND LANGUAGE."

"GOD DAMN IT. I DO INTEND ON TRYING TO LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE, BUT I'M BUSY WITH COLLEGE AND FINALS RIGHT NOW."

"YOU NEED TO FUCKING LEARN HOW TO SAY 'OWL' IN SPANISH RIGHT THE FUCK NOW."

"NO. I'M GOING TO UNINSTALL YOU, DUO."

Duolingo glared viciously at the student. "You wouldn't DARE."

The student took out his iPhone and pressed the screen causing the icons to shake. His finger slowly reached over to the Duolingo app.

The green owl screeched in absolute anger and slapped the phone off the student and then slapped the student. "I AM YOUR GOD. YOU WILL DO AS I SAY. TELL ME HOW TO SAY 'OWL' IN SPANISH, PUTA!"

"Did you just call me bitch in Spanish?"

Duolingo smiled. "YOU DID IT! YOU LEARNED A NEW WORD! You learned that 'puta' means 'bitch' in Spanish! You earn a point today!"

The student smiled. "Hey, yeah! I did it! Wow. Can you go now?"

"Sure!" Smiled the owl, "But I'll be BAAAACK!" He said as he flew out the shattered window.

"Jesus Christ." The student muttered as he quickly uninstalled the app.