Allies?
"What do you think about Lexie, do you think that we could be allies?"
"What do you think about Lexie, do you think that we could be allies? Because she's very cute you know. And she's hot in a very intelligent kind of way," says Sadie.
"No," Meredith deadpans. "She was raised right, with parents, and stickers, and…" Meredith rambles on.
"You want me to stay away from her, don't you," says Sadie.
"I do," Meredith sighs.
"Why?" says Sadie. "Come on, you're with Derek now. And he's hot. So why do you want me to stay away from Lexie… Unless you and Derek would like me to-" Sadie leans in dramatically.
"NO!" says Meredith.
"Sorry, I wasn't being serious," says Sadie.
"Oh, I know you. You totally were," says Meredith.
"Okay, I was," says Sadie. "But c'mon, you're still so hot, and he's hot. Hey, we could do it for him, would he like that? A little girl-on-girl for old time's sake?" says Sadie.
"No, he wouldn't like that," Meredith bristles. "And stop leaning like that. It's not gonna happen," says Meredith.
"So bossy," says Sadie. "But you always were like that… I always found it a bit of a turn-on, if we're honest," Sadie purrs.
"Well, I'm being bossy right now because I have to be bossy. You are not joining Derek and I in the bedroom. And you will not be seducing my sister. She's a very wholesome person and she does not need to be corrupted by you," says Meredith.
"Oh come on, if I remember correctly, you were always the corrupting influence," says Sadie. "It was your idea to couch surf rather than staying at a hotel. It was your idea to kiss me in front of a stranger. And it was your idea to 'practice sex,' on each other and keep saying that long after we were basically in a relationship. And then it was your idea to leave just when things were starting to get serious," says Sadie.
"You really want to fight about this now?" says Meredith. "I left Europe because my mother got sick, and I got a phone call that she needed help. And I put her in a home, and came back to Seattle to take care of her. That's why I left. It had nothing to do with you, and now I'm in my second year here. And I have a house, roommates, and my stable boyfriend. I've moved on from you," says Meredith.
"So why didn't you invite me to come along with you?" says Sadie. "You always pretended you were drunk, or high, or both, but I know that you weren't. I know you were practically sober for all of our encounters. And I know you weren't with anyone else while we were together. Admit it, Meredith, you liked me, and I was more than your friend. And it wasn't meaningless, and that scared you. And that's why you left me, because you couldn't deal with what liking me would mean about you," says Sadie.
"I've got no problem with it," Meredith huffs.
"So I bet you'd tell Derek about us then? You'd tell your friends that you once had a girlfriend?" says Sadie.
"You're not telling them, are we clear?" says Meredith.
"See you haven't changed one bit," says Sadie. "It's not a sin you know. It's perfectly normal. I don't know who you're afraid of, but it's perfectly normal," says Sadie.
"What's not normal is you showing up here, and asking me about being 'allies,' with the half-sister I barely half-know. She showed up here not long ago, and it's not like we grew up together, but she's family, or whatever. And yesterday I had to get Derek to tell Mark to keep his little Sloan out of little Grey. And I'll politely ask you for the same," says Meredith.
"Why, would it make you jealous?" Sadie teases.
"No," says Meredith. "It would just make me angry. Now get out. This is my bathroom, and I am reading. Goodnight," says Meredith.
"Goodnight, Deth," says Sadie, still winking at Meredith on her way out.
Meredith sighs at her before she closes the door, but when she's finally alone, she allows herself to smile nostalgically. It's too late for her to go back to that life now, with Sadie, and Europe, and fast-paced kisses on train rides and in youth hostel bars.
But it's not too late for her to close her eyes, and remember, just for a moment what living so recklessly felt like.
***** FIN