DISCLAIMER: NARUTO, NARUTO SHIPPUDEN, AND RELATED PROPERTIES AND A BUNCH OF OTHERS ARE THE CREATION OF MASASHI KISHIMOTO AND THE PROPERTY OF SHEUISHA, VIZ MEDIA, TV TOKYO CO., AND SHONEN JUMP. PLEASE GO SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE.

NARUTO UZUMAKI IS A 12 YEAR OLD BOY. HIS LIFE CAN BE SUMMED UP IN ONE AMAZING WORD. SHITTY. YES YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. THIS 12 YEAR OLD BOY LIVED A COMPLETLY AND UTTERLY SHITTY LIFE.

HIS PARENTS, THE HOE-KAGE OF THE HIDDEN LEAVE VILLAGE (A VILLAGE THAT'S NOT ACTUALLY HIDDEN) AND HIS MOTHER IS THE PRINCESS OF THE DEAD UZUMAKI CLAN, BASICALLY THE PRINCESS OF NOTHING.

NARUTO'S FATHER, THE FOURTH HOE-KAGE CAN BE SEEN IN THIS LAWN WATCHING HIS OTHER CHILDREN, MENMA UZUMAKI AND NARUMI UZUMAKI BE TRAINED IN THE SUPER AWESOME SWAGGERY ARTS OF THE NINJA. THE CHILDREN WERE LEARNING HOW TO STAND ON SOME TREES WITHOUT FALLING DOWN LIKE LITTLE SCRUBS.

THE REASON WHY MINATO NAMIKAZE, THE NAME OF THE FOURTH HOE-KAGE, WAS TRAINING THESE KIDS WAS BECAUSE THEY WERE THE SUPER DUPER SPECIAL AWESOME SWAGGERY CHILDREN OF PROPHECY. FOR YOU SEE, THERE IS SOME PROPHECY THAT WAS BROUGHT TO MINATO'S ATTENTION 12 YEARS AGO, THE DAY HIS CHILDREN WERE BORN.

SOME PERVERT HERMIT,WHO COULDN'T GET ANY, (IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT) NAMED JIRAIYA HAD COME TO MINATO AND TOLD HIM THAT 2 CHILDREN BORN TO TWO POWERFUL NINJA WERE GOING TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM SOME SUPER DUPER DANGEROUS WORLD WIDE THREAT.

MINATO HAVING RECENTLY SEALED AWAY THE HUMOUNGUS POWER OF THE NINE FINGERED FOX INTO MENMA AND NARUMI (SOMETHING HE HAD THE THIRD HOKAGE PREFORM BUT TOOK ALL THE CREDIT FOR), HE WAS SURE THAT THEY WERE THE CHILDREN OF PROPHECY. AS IF HE AND HIS UZUMAKI WAIFU ARE THE ONLY PAIR OF STRONG NINJA TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE WHOLE GOD DAMN WORLD.

LMAO. THE ARROGANCE IS REAL. WHAT A DUMB DUMB.

ANYWAYS, EVER SINCE NARUTO WAS NEGLECTED, AND BY NEGLECTED, I MEAN HE WAS SUPER SALTY THAT THE CHILDREN WHO HAVE THE POWER OF THE GREUSOME FOX LOCKED AWAY IN THEIR BELLIES, THAT CAUSED HIS PARENTS TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THEM. YES, NARUTO WAS NEGLECTED. THE AUTHOR SAYS SO, SO IT MUST BE TRUE.

''HEY FATHER.'' NARUTO ENTERED THE FRONT LAWN, GETTING THE ATTENTION OF EVERYONE THERE. HE RAISES HIS HAND AND CREATES A SUPER MASSIVE RASENGAN IN FRONT OF EVERYONE'S EYES.

SLAP!

''OUCHIE OUCH.'' NARUTO SCREAMED.

"HOW DARE YOU SHOW SKILL? HOW DARE YOU UPSTAGE YOUR SUPER DUPER SPECIAL AWESOME SWAGGERY SIBLINGS? TO YOU ROOM FOOL! NOW!''

NARUTO WAS NO FOOL (CONTRARY TO MINATO'S BELIEF) AND OBEYED HIS FATHER WITHOUT FAIL. FOR YOU SEE, NOBODY ANGERED THE FOURTH HOE-KAGE. JUST ASK IWA, OR MORE SO THEIR KUNOICHI. DURING THE THIRD SHINOBI WORLD WAR, THE FOURTH HOE-KAGE DID HIS YELLOW FLASH TECHNIQUE. WHAT OCCURED WAS THAT WHENEVER MINATO PREFORMED THE TECHNIQUE, HE TELEPORTED WITHOUT HIS CLOTHES. THUS HE FLASHED HIS ENEMIES. THE KUNOICHI ALL DIED FROM NOSE BLEEDS AS WELL AS THE CURVED MEN.

EVER SINCE THEN NOBODY MESSED WITH THE FOURTH HOE-KAGE.

BACK WITH NARUTO

HE SMUGGLED HIMSELF OUT OF HIS HOUSE AND WENT TO THE SARUTOBI MANSION. TO THE HOME OF THE THIRD HOE-KAGE HIRUZEN SAROTOBI, THE ONLY EVER MAN TO USE THE REAPER DEATH SEAL AND NOT DIE AS A RESULT.

''OLD MAN. I HEARD THAT YOU PREFORMED THE REAPER DEATH SEAL TO SEAL AWAY THE KYUUBI INTO MY SIBLINGS. HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?"

"WAIT, HOW DID YOU HEAR? THAT BASTARD MINATO TOOK ALL CREDIT OF THAT."

"WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MINATO NAMIKAZE HERE OLD MAN."

"HE BRAGGED ABOUT IT TO HIS FAMILY, DIDN'T HE?"

NARUTO NODDED IN CONFIRMATION.

"NARUTO MY BOY, I DID IN FACT USE THE POWER OF THE DEATH GOD, BUT I USED HIS POWER WHILE I WAS IN THE LIVING ROOM. THEREFORE HE COULDN'T CLAIM MY SOUL.''

IN ANOTHER DIMENSION

CURSE YOU SAROTOBI AND YOUR DAMNED LIVING ROOM!

BACK TO THE MAIN DIMENSION

"DAMN, THAT A MEGA MIND PLAY RIGHT THERE OLD MAN. ANYWAYS, I WANT SOME ADVICE, I WANT TO BECOME A SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME NINJA BUT MY PARENTS WON'T LET ME.''

''NARUTO MY BOY, YOU'RE IN A NEGLECT FIC, LOGIC BE DAMNED. JUST LEAVE THIS VILLAGE.''

''THAT EASY? YOU WON'T TRY TO STOP ME FROM LEAVING?"

''NO, FOR IT IS THE WILL OF THE AUTHOR FOR THE PLOT TO CONTINUE."

"OK OLD MAN, I'LL LEAVE BUT I PROMISE THAT EVEN THE SAGE OF THE SIX PACKS WON'T COMPARE TO ME.''

20 YEARS LATER

NARUTO RETURNED TO THE LEAF VILLAGE AFTER BEING GONE FOR 20 YEARS. HE EARNED THE TITLE OF THE STRONGEST NINJA ALIVE AND NOW CAME TO THE LEAF TO SHOW OFF HIS SUPER DUPER SPECIAL AWESOME POWER OFF TO THOSE WHO NEGLECTED HIM.

''WELL WELL WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE FAILURE.''

NARUTO TURNS AROUND AND SEES MENMA WITH HIS HAREM OF 300 WAIFUS.

''MENMA, JUST THE GUY I WAS LOOKING FOR. I WANT TO FIGHT YOU AND NARUMI IN A 2 VS 1 BATTLE AT THE STADIUM.''

''BRUH, I AM ONE OF THE CHILDREN OF PROPHECY.''

''CHILDREN OF PROPHECY? MATE, YOU'RE LIKE 32. WHAT ARE YOU? A MANCHILD?"

"DARN YOU!"

"WELL I'LL BE WAITING AT THE STADIUM. IN 2 DAYS.''

NARUTO EXITS.

''LET'S GO MENMA AND SHOW TO NARUTO WHY HE IS BENEATH US."

''WHERE DID YOU COME FROM NARUMI?''

"I'M EVERYWHERE." RUNS OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

2 DAYS LATER

''PREPARE TO LOSE NARUTO.

NARUTO OPENED HIS BACKPACK AND TOOK OUT AND A SPRAY. WITHOUT WARNING, HE SPRAYED THE CONTENTS ALL OVER MENMA AND NARUMI.

''WHAT DID YOU DO LOSER?''

"FOXES HAVE POWERFUL SENSES OF SMELL. WHAT I SPRAYED ON YOU WAS BOILED WATER CONTAINING CHILLI PEPPER AND GARLIC. FOXES HATE THAT SHIT."

TRUE TO HIS WORDS, THE NINE FINGERED FOZ SCREAMED IN PURE AGONY AND USED 100% OF HIS POWER AND ABANDONED HIS VESSELS, THE JINCHURIKI TWINS.

"OUCHIE OUCH. OUCHIE OUCH." THE JINCHURIKI TWINS WERE JUST TWINS NOW.

"NOW YOU HAD THE KYUUBI REMOVED FROM YOUR BODIES, YOU SHALL NOW DIE."

"NO, HEROES NEVER DIE!'' MENMA SHOUTED OUT WITH HIS POWERFUL SET OF LUNGS, DAMN, WAS HE SECRETLY PART HARUNO?

"TRUE MENMA BUT YOU AND NARUMI ARE NOT HEROES. YOU'RE THE PERSONIFICATION OF CANCER. GOOD BYE. MEGA CREATIVE LIGHT BALL OF LIGHT AND CREATION.''

"NOOOOOOOO.''

MENMA AND NARUMI HAD DIED.

''WE ARE SORRY FOR NEGLECTING YOU NARUTO. PLEASE COME BACK TO KONOHA." MINATO AND KUSHINA PLEADED.

''NO.''

"AND YOU THINK YOU'LL JUST ALLOW YOU TO PEACEFULLY LEAVE?''

''GOOD THING I WAS NEVER HERE TO BEGIN WITH.'' NARUTO POOFED OUT OF EXISTENCE, SHOWING A MERE SHADOW CLONE HAD KILLED THE STRONGEST JONINS IN THE LEAF. THEY WERE SCREWED.

2 MONTHS LATER THE LEAF WAS DESTROYED AS THE OTHER SHINOBI VILLAGES DIDN'T LIKE THE LEAF.

THE WILL OF FIRE HAD BEEN SMOTHERED.

NARUTO UZUMAKI WENT OUT IN THE WORLD DOING NARUTO UZUMAKI THINGS.

THE END