"Are you sure you're okay, Bucky?"

"Yeah..."

Ever since Bucky had come back from his meeting with Ayo, Sam had felt he was different. In fact, now that they were settling down for a bit in Zemo's mansion in Riga, Sam had had time to think about everything that had just happened and actually Bucky had been strange since the plane ride to Madripoor.

Sam couldn't put his finger on it, but he had the impression that Bucky was distancing himself.

"I'm going to bed. I'm dead." Bucky got up from the couch and headed for his assigned room.

"'Night." he added and closed the door behind him.

Sam, convinced now that something was wrong, got up and made his way to Bucky's room, determined to get to the bottom of it.

"If I were you, I'd give him some time."

"What are you meddling with, Zemo?" Sam turned back to the baron who was lying on the sofa.

"Samuel, do you realise the impact our little stint on Madripoor has had on James?"

"Of course, I know it couldn't have been easy." Sam came and sat on the arm of the sofa.

"Really?" asked Zemo, raising an eyebrow at him in his characteristically mocking manner.

"I realise how hard it must have been to consciously put on the costume of who he once was, to act like the one he's desperately trying to forget." Sam had been aware of this, though he had beenl surprised by the fact that Bucky could act so easily.

"Fine, but there's one little detail missing Sam."

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" Sam was growing increasingly annoyed with the man who acted as if he knew something Sam wasn't aware of. He waited for his answer.

"It's that he had to do it in your presence."

"I don't see what difference it makes, I knew him when he was the Winter Soldier."

It was true. He'd seen Bucky fight, he'd even fought against him, he'd seen him act like the robot killer he was back then. The killer with no conscience.

"So blind... you two are so hopeless. But thank you for the entertainment..." Zemo chuckled making Sam's annoyance rise a notch.

"Geez, are you going to end up talking in more than just riddles!"

"Think about it, what's different between the time you knew him and now, other than the fact that he was being controlled? And what did you feel? Weren't you worried to see him slip so easily into the skin of the Winter Soldier?"

After a few minutes, Zemo could see on Sam's face the realization of what his words implied.

"You understand now?"

"Yes." Sam stood up, "All the more reason for me to go."

Zemo rolled his eyes, said with a sigh, "So much for subtlety." then got up and headed for his own room.

"Good night Sam, give my regards to James."

Sam walked toward Bucky's room. He didn't bother to knock, he gently opened the door to Bucky's room and slipped inside closing the door behind him. The room was lightly illuminated by a bedside lamp in the corner of the room.

He wasn't surprised to see Bucky sleeping on the floor, they had already talked about it, their years in the war had left all sorts of traces. Bucky had spent more than half of his life in war, it was normal that the old habits were hard to die.

He went to sit on the floor next to Bucky who had his back to him.

"Bucky, I know you're not sleeping. We need to talk."

"Hm...no, not in the mood."

"And yet I think you know it's necessary."

Bucky let out a long sigh before rolling over onto his back, sliding the blanket off and revealing his perfect bare torso to Sam, who struggled not to gasp at the sight. But this was not the time. His eyes slid to Bucky's face, and he didn't like what he read. He'd seen a lot of emotions on Bucky's face before,, but never such deep sadness.

"Hey Bucky, I know something's wrong. Talk to me..."

He saw the expression of stubborn defiance come over Bucky's face, that expression he knew well, the one Bucky took when he didn't want people penetrating his shell. The one he wore the day of their couple therapy session.

Bucky said to him in a challenging tone, "You think you're my shrink Sam?"

"No, but I think I am your friend."

"Precisely..." sighed Bucky, the sad expression returning to his face.

Sam placed a tentative hand on Bucky's shoulder. He felt him tense under his hand before relaxing again.

"Precisely what?"

"It's even worse because you're my friend Sam. Do you understand?" Bucky ran a hand over his face before throwing his head back and closing his eyes.

"Yes, I think I understand, but I want you to explain it to me. No pretenses or wordplay. Tell me!"

Bucky sighed again.

"Who am I Sam? Who am I? When you look at me Sam, do you see me, or do you see the Winter Soldier? Do you-"

"Hey Bucky for as long as we've known each-"

"Let me continue… What if Zemo was right?"

"In what way?"

'James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.'

'Didn't take much for him to fall back into form.'

Sam remembered Zemo's words.

Bucky continued, "What if it was just me who thought the Winter Soldier was gone? It was so easy to impersonate him again, and so horrible at the same time! I don't want to be that man anymore Sam! But if that was all there was in me. And then I think, if I don't have it in me anymore, am I still useful to you? And if I'm no longer useful to you, will you still want me around? And-

"Wow, wow, wow, stop that right now! Your cyborg brain is smoking again. You're overthinking it Bucky. Let's go sit on the couch." He stood up, reached out to Bucky to help him up, sat him down on the couch, and sat next to him, so close their thighs were touching.

"Let's think rationally first okay?"

"Hm." Bucky nodded, keeping his head down.

"Bucky, look me in the eye and tell me, do you think the Dora Milaje would have let you go if they didn't think you were completely free?"

Bucky looked up, swallowed and thought back to the day Ayo looked him in the eye and said, "You are free white wolf."

He replied in a low voice, "No."

Sam patted him lightly on the back and exclaimed, "Ha see? And on top of that, I saw you as the Winter Soldier, you don't have anything of him in you I swear. I know it." He let his hand rest on the back of Bucky's neck feeling the man's tension.

"Secondly, what's this about you being useful to me or something? You've never been an instrument to me. Just like the winter soldier, that's all in the past. Bucky, you are you, free to decide, if you don't want to follow me then don't, but don't think you are here because you are useful to me. That's so far from the truth, from what I really feel-"

Bucky interrupted him, "That's just it! I don't know how you feel, you say we're friends, but what connects us if not the fact that we have or rather had a friend in common? Who am I to you?"

"I keep telling you you're my friend Bucky, but..."

He felt the tension rise under his hand and saw Bucky's features harden.

"Let me finish Bucky..., you're my friend but I want more for us." There, he had said it. The naked truth laid there in front of them. It wasn't the moment he would have chosen, but he had known that for a long time, not everything was going as planned.

Bucky turned his head towards him, "You mean you, that I- that..."

"I mean exactly that." Sam slid the hand that was on Bucky's nape around his neck and brought his face close to his, before kissing him, putting everything he was feeling into it. Seeing that Bucky wasn't pushing him away, he deepened the kiss while tightening his embrace around him. Bucky was not to be outdone, he placed his hands on Sam's head responding to the kiss with equal ardor. Someone moaned, and Sam didn't know if it was him or Bucky. They separated to catch their breath, letting their foreheads against each other.

Bucky whispered against Sam's mouth, "Are you sure that... hmph."

Sam put his heart into proving to him how sure he was. Then he moved sightly back and whispered, "I'm sure of myself and my feelings, but what you feel, I don't know...you still haven't told me what you want Bucky."

Bucky kissed him gently before saying, "You, Sam Wilson, you're the one I want, you're the one I've always wanted." before kissing him again.

When they caught their breath once more, Sam had a slight mocking smile and pushing back a short strand of Bucky's forehead he said softly, "My white wolf, what am I going to do with you and your cyborg brain?"

"Whatever you want, Sam, whatever you want." replied Bucky before settling down, his head in Sam's lap and raising his feet on the couch. Sam leaned back, and let his hand slide over Bucky's hip, who gripped it with his own, while Sam's other hand stroked Bucky's tousled hair.

They let themselves be lulled by the moment of serenity that was offered to them, a moment of respite in the middle of the chaotic time.

There would be time tomorrow for battles, conflicts, disagreements and they would face them, together as always, but aware now of the strength of the bond that they shared.