The beginning of a collection of EO one-shots. Rating for future additions. I do not own the characters or song lyrics in this.
Inspired by the lovely hashtag: #ItsAMarvelousNightForAMoondance (angst, romance, T)
. . .
Dancing in the Moonlight
This evening's celebration is a breath of fresh air for Elliot. After months of sleepless nights and endless anxiety, he finally feels free. With his family's and Olivia's tiring encouragement, he eventually swallowed his pride and admitted he did indeed, need help. Fighting his instincts to suppress all unwanted emotions proved to be more difficult than fighting off the invisible demons trapped in his mind. Taking that step alone began his healing process. Then, having the chance to look his late wife's killer in his coldblooded eyes as they dragged him from court in handcuffs was revitalizing. Knowing he was being thrown behind bars for life allowed Elliot to walk out of his own unhinged prison cell. Any glance back over his shoulder was him looking back at justice.
He trusted Olivia when she told him it will get easier, that he will once again see without a constant blanket of fog in his eyesight. He remembers asking if the nightmares ever fade, and she responded with "I'll let you know."
Her quiet voice cuts through his thoughts, and he feels her shoulder brush against his. "You look lighter, El." Her ability to sense what is running through his mind is impeccable. After all these years, she still never misses a beat. He glances over at her with a soft smile, and she's reaching for her glass of champagne. "I know we've already been through enough of these, but I'd like to share one last toast with you. To healing."
Elliot raises his glass with her and chimes in, "to starting again." Their glasses meet with a clink, and he pauses to admire her before taking a sip. The glow of the string lights are dancing in her eyes, creating a golden glimmer against the deep brown. He watches her pink lips curl around the rim of her glass as the sweet champagne falls onto her tongue. He tries not to stare, but every simple movement entrances him. Taking the obligatory sip of his drink, he scans the reception. He and Olivia are the only two left at their table. Amanda and Carisi are on the dance floor with the newlyweds and other guests. He recognizes Katriona and her date. Cragen and Munch are catching up with Melinda. The former ADA Barba - that he met for the first time this evening - is in line at the bar with his plus-one. The mix of old and new faces makes him truly realize how long he was away.
"I feel lighter," he says, watching the scene in front of them. He finds himself standing taller now, feeling the weight slowly lift from his shoulders. The circles under his eyes have lightened, and the wounds on his face have faded to a light pink. They now match the rest of the natural tattoos his body has gathered over the years. Just one more story with a cover photo.
The current song blasting over the speakers fades into a slower tune. Elliot sets his glass on the table and turns to Olivia. "Dance with me, Liv?" he asks, outstretching his hand to her. She hesitates momentarily, but accepts his offer and lets him lead her to the dance floor. When they reach the crowd, Olivia wraps her arm around him while he tugs at her waist to pull her closer. Their free hands interlock with each other's. They fall into an effortless rhythm, swaying slowly to the echoing piano.
Whether near or far, I am always yours
Any change in time, we are young again
His eyes lock into a trance with hers. "Sei bellissima, Olivia," he says softly, a delicate smile forming. Heat rushes to her cheeks with a crimson hue in response. Her eyes fall away from his with a shyness he isn't familiar with. "You do," he insists. Her lips curl upward, and she meets his eyes again, but she stays silent. "What's going through your mind?"
"Just... Who'd have ever thought we'd end up here?" she muses. Her line of sight drifts around the room, then focuses back on him. It's true, he never imagined he would have Olivia in his arms, dancing gracefully to a love song that fits all too well with their relationship, if it can even hold that title.
"I'm glad we did," he responds, trailing his hand from her lower back up towards her shoulder-blade and down again. He figures he should seize this rare opportunity to feel her skin, even if it's covered with a delicate fabric. He notices chills erupt along her exposed forearms. Seeing that he elicits a reaction out of her gives him both satisfaction and reassurance, since she has the same effect on him.
Lay us down, we're in love
He dares to draw her body a little closer to his. "You know, Liv," he says softly, "we never really talked about..." he trails off, trying to collect his thoughts. He never quite worked through how to approach this subject. Her eyes are glued to his, and he can tell she's attempting to read his mind.
Only the slightest do her eyes widen in realization. "No," she shakes her head and looks away. "We don't need to talk about it."
Elliot pauses their dance and maneuvers his arm between them to lightly tilt her chin back to face him. When her eyes meet his, he reaches back around her waist and begins moving in time with her again. "Liv, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I couldn't have said that at a worse time, and I just," he furrows his brows, tightening his lips into a straight line. "I wasn't in a good headspace, you know? I didn't know what were thoughts and what I said out loud. It was all the same."
"It's fine," she whispers. "I get it."
"But Liv, I need you to know that..." His arm snakes back up and cups her cheek, the pad of his thumb stroking across her skin once. "I'm not sorry that I do."
In these coming years, many things will change
But the way I feel will remain the same
"Elliot, I can't." She shifts her head away from his touch and purses her lips. "This isn't right," she mutters, stilling her body.
"Liv?"
"It's not supposed to be me," she whispers with enough emotion to send him back in time by fifteen years. What about me? He remembers how she burned his memory with those words, and tonight she's carrying the same depth in her voice. She pushes against him and backs away. "I can't," she repeats and hurries off the dance floor. As she bursts out the doors, Elliot is left frozen in the midst of the commotion.
Lay us down, we're in love
He debates whether he should go after her or let her come back when she's ready. Seconds have hardly passed when he decides to follow her - he's done leaving her alone. As he approaches the doors, he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he turns to see Amanda. "Let me?" she asks, concern evident in her tone. He nods and steps out of the way to let the detective go after her captain. A friend go after a friend.
He figures it is best that he doesn't suffocate her with his presence, when clearly she needed space from him. Still, he's an impatient bastard that doesn't do too well with waiting his turn. A minute passes and he caves to his impatience and barges through the doors leading to the terrace. Their shadowy figures are leaning against the barricade, overlooking the bustling city streets below.
Amanda looks over her shoulder at the sound of Elliot's approach, and she gives Olivia a comforting squeeze on her shoulder, then lets him take her place.
"Hey," he greets cautiously, leaning against the railing at her side.
"Hey, she replies. He can't help but be in awe at her beauty. The decorative lights inside have nothing on the way the city lights twinkle in her eyes and the way the moonlight dances in her brunette waves.
"You okay?" he asks, keeping his voice quiet despite the chaos of the city threatening to drown him out.
"I just needed a minute," she responds. Her thumbs are circling around each other, and he's tempted to reach out and take ahold of one of her hands. To feel the warmth of her skin and the delicacy of her grip - the way she held his hand as they danced what now seems like a lifetime ago.
"What happened back there?"
"It's all just so fast, Elliot," she exasperates. "I mean, god, my mind is still getting used to the fact that I actually get to see you again. Often. After ten damn years."
"Yeah," is all he can manage.
"And we- and you... you're saying things. And that letter. And now we're dancing. And," her voice cracks, and she steps away to pace back and forth a couple times. She keeps her voice hushed in attempt to steady it. "And it's so easy." She sets her elbows on the railing and holds her forehead in her hands. "And it shouldn't be easy. Because I'm not her."
"No, you're not," he agrees. He reaches down to her forearms to try and get her to focus on him. Tears are glistening around her eyes as she looks up. "But I don't want you to be," he reassures. "Olivia, I am always going to miss her, and I am always going to love her. She was my wife for over thirty years and the mother to my five incredible children. You're not going to replace her, and you shouldn't." She crosses her arms and looks away, trying to conceal the tears, but one spills over. He reaches out to grasp her face in both of his hands and wipes away the runaway tear. "Liv, even though we found happiness with each other again, it didn't stop me from wondering if it could've been you."
"Elliot..."
"Olivia. I was a coward. For avoiding my feelings, for the way I left you, for not coming back to you sooner. And I know it's fucked up the way this whole thing played out. But I can't waste this. I'm done running." He pulls her closer to press a kiss to her forehead, and he hears her whimper lightly.
"Me too," she admits in a whisper. His lips leave her forehead, and he dips down to place a kiss to her cheek. "I'm done running too." She leans into him to initiate an embrace, and he pulls her snug against him at the invite. Over twenty-two years, she's been in his arms enough times to count on one hand. Yet having her body pressed tightly against his is extraordinarily familiar. It's his lifeline.
"How about we finish that dance?" he asks.
She smiles warmly up at him. "But we missed the song." Back inside, another upbeat song has replaced the slow one they were dancing to. He can't make it out, but the bass is echoing to the outside.
"I'm sure we can create our own rhythm," he encourages, dropping both of his hands to her waist. She drapes both of her arms behind his neck and giggles. Olivia Benson actually giggles, and it's officially one of his new favorite sounds - only second to his name falling from her lips.
"I'm sure we can," she agrees, shifting into synchronization with his body. It's graceful, a paradox to the usual ruggedness in their steps on the city streets - the very streets they now tower above.
He leans forward and brushes his lips against her cheek, then whispers against her skin, "Ti amo." His lips trace across her cheekbone and down to capture her own. She softens into him instantly, molding her lips against his. He keeps one hand wrapped around her waist to hold her close while the other finds a home in her hair. The contact of his fingertips on her scalp causes her to part her lips, and she grips the back of his neck when he deepens the kiss.
A soft moan escapes her throat and falls into his mouth, and he realizes he lied to himself earlier - that, is his favorite sound. And he silently vows to himself that he will do everything in his power to hear his favorite sound for the rest of his life.
They break the kiss simultaneously, and Elliot trails down to her neck while she attempts to catch her breath. "El," she whines breathlessly when he lands on a sensitive spot.
"Too much?" he asks in her ear.
"No," she breathes, placing her hands on either side of his face. He lifts his head back up and gazes into her eyes. He's never seen them so dark; they're matching the lust he knows his eyes are revealing. She leans in, her breathing still unsteady on his skin. Against his lips, she mumbles, "Voglio di più." She steals a quick kiss - her newfound confidence taking control - then she adds, "take me home."
In response, he fiercely envelops her mouth with his. He's already addicted to the taste of her, and he curses himself for waiting over two decades to know her like this. "You're sure?" he asks between kisses.
Mmm is all she can muster at first. "Waited too long," she pants.
Desire has spread across every cell in his body, every part of him praying to feel more of her. "We should extend a final congratulations to the bride and groom," he says, with a hint of bitterness in having to interrupt this moment for courtesy. She's smiling up at him and nods slightly in agreement. He withdraws from their embrace, but reaches down to intertwine his fingers with hers.
"Anch'io ti amo, El," she says, just audible enough for him to hear. He gives her hand a light squeeze and leans over to press a delicate kiss to her temple.
The two continue forth and rejoin the party to offer their congratulations and farewells. Elliot knows everyone can sense the change in atmosphere between him and Olivia, but no one chooses to acknowledge it. After a few minutes, they are back under the glow of the moonlight and city lights. As they await a cab, he shoots a knowing glance at her, and she returns it with a subtle smirk and a gleam in her eyes.
How desperately he wants to dance with her again, only this time with the moonlight reflecting through the window and onto her bare body.
A sight he can stop imagining and start remembering after tonight.
Bellissimo.
Translations in order:
You look beautiful
I love you
I want more
I love you too
Beautiful
Song: The End of All Things, Panic! at the Disco
A/N: I desperately hope the translations are accurate. I used a few sources. Fingers crossed. Thank you for reading!