Disclaimer: I do not own Hero Academia/Boku No Hero Academia, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.
Mineta tries flirting with...
Chapter one: Gravitational Pull
Walking into his theater room, the Realmcrafter Talespinner69 summoned Kotaro Tatsumi to accompany him on the stage in front of the big theater screen, then Tale summoned all of his now usual audience, then he sent lights into all of their heads to catch them up on everything. "Yeah, the show with alternative Izukus has to be put on hold," Tale explained to his audience, "Because someone forgot to keep the remote programmed properly."
"I said I was sorry, Tale!" Kotaro remarked.
Sighing, Tale said, "Whatever. At least you didn't frighten Wrymscale." To his audience, Tale said, "Fortunately, we have another show we can watch until we can get the programming back for the show that has realms with alternative Izukus."
"This show will actually be like the one were class 1-A meets members of their family once per episode," Kotaro said, "In the sense that all episodes are set in the same realm rather than each being a separate realm in and of itself."
"So what's the theme here, might I ask?" Mineta said as he raised a hand.
Pointing right at Mineta, Tale said, "Actually Mineta, you're the star this time."
"Yo, why the fuck is Grape Head the star?!" Bakugo exclaimed from where he sat.
"The show we're about to get started on has Mineta flirt with a different one of the girls in his year of the hero course, one per episode," Kotaro explained, "Or at least tries to."
Nodding in confirmation, Tale said, "Yeah, I got a general idea from skimming it. Also, Mineta will at no point be seen dying."
Breathing a sigh of relief, Mineta said, "Well that's a relief."
"I still can't believe that he's going to be seen trying to creep on us!" Mina complained.
Waving a hand dismissively, Tale said, "Relax. You'll see what's going on when the first episode starts." Kotaro then started up the big theater screen, and the audience all turned to look as the first episode of the saga of Mineta began playing.
...
(Mineta tries flirting with Ochaco Uraraka)
"Eww!" Uraraka in the audience exclaimed, "He tries flirting with me first?!"
"Oh come on, give it a chance," Mineta said, "Or rather, give me a chance!"
Turning to look at Aizawa, Hizashi said, "This is going to end horribly for Mineta, won't it Sho?"
Sighing in a resigned tone, Aizawa replied, "Given Mineta's track record, I wouldn't be all that surprised by it."
One well enough morning during breakfast at the dorm building, Mineta was sitting with Sero and Kaminari. "So yeah boys, I'm officially on the quest to get it with a fine lady."
"You gonna fail," Sero said indifferently, not even bothering to look up from his bowl of cereal.
Turning to look at Kaminari, Mineta said, "Kaminari, you'll help me, right?"
Sighing, Kaminari replied, "...I won't stop you, but I won't help you either. You're going to have to rely on your own charm on this one."
"What charm?" Kyoka in the audience asked in a snarky manner, drawing some laughter from some of the audience.
Sighing, Mineta said, "You guys are the reason that I need therapy."
"Oh come on, listeners, lighten up on him," Hizashi remarked.
"Very well, it shall be some solo hunting," Mineta declared, "And I got Uraraka in my sights as my first target." Mineta got up from his seat and proceeded to go up to see Uraraka.
After Mineta was gone, Kaminari looked to Sero. "You...think we should at least warn him?"
"You said it yourself," Sero replied, "He's on his own for this one." Eating another spoonful of his cereal, Sero added, "Plus, my cereal here is more important."
"Wow Sero, really?" Mineta in the audience said.
Shrugging, Sero replied, "Hey, you do have a reputation."
...
Mineta was in the hallway where Uraraka's dorm room was located, humming a tune to himself as he made his way over. Once he was there, Mineta raised a fist to knock on Uraraka's dorm room door, but stopped short upon sensing that someone was standing next to him. Looking up, Mineta saw that it was his classmate Izuku.
"Midoriya? What are you doing here?" Mineta asked.
Sighing, Izuku explained, "I've just come to realize that I really am in love with Uraraka, so I came here to confess and ask her out, hoping like hell she'll say yes." Looking down at Mineta, Izuku asked, "What about you?"
"I'm here to put the charm on Uraraka, hopefully give her the business by the end of the day, you know?" Mineta replied.
"So Grape Head has to compete against Deku for Round Face," Bakugo in the audience remarked. Folding his arms over his chest, Bakugo said, "Yeah, this is going to blow up right in Grape Head's face."
"Yeah, I'd totally pick Izuku any day," Uraraka said, "Especially over Mineta."
While Mineta sulked in defeat, Izuku blushed in embarrassment. "Umm, wow. I never thought I'd hear a girl say that she'd pick me."
His glare narrowing at Mineta, Izuku said, "It would seem that we're at an impasse, Mineta."
"So it would seem, Midoriya," Mineta replied, "So it would seem." The two boys continued to glare at each other, as if sparks of challenge were going off between them.
...
Later outside of the dorm building, some of the A class boys were gathered to watch Mineta get ready to compete against Izuku. "The fuck's going on here?" Bakugo asked as he walked up to where Sero, Kaminari, and Kirishima were standing by ready to watch.
"Oh, Izuku and Mineta are getting ready to compete against one another because both caught each other trying to appeal to Uraraka," Kaminari explained.
Scoffing in an amused, laughing tone, Bakugo said, "Deku's gonna turn Grape Head into Grape Juice."
"That's actually Mineta's hero alias, Baku-bro," Kirishima remarked.
"I don't care," Bakugo said flatly, "I'm just going to watch the show."
"Yeah, it would be amusing to watch," Bakugo in the audience commented.
"Maybe I'll pull a surprise victory?" Mineta said hopefully.
Gently shaking his head in the negative, Dark Shadow said, "Oh, I doubt it."
Over where Mineta and Izuku were getting ready to compete, Aoyama said, "The first of the three challenges shall be cooking, because what girl doesn't love a man who can cook?"
"Each guy shall attempt to make a simple batch of cookies," Sato said, "The one who makes the overall best batch of cookies shall win round one. Myself, as well as both Aoyama and Shoji, shall serve as judges to determine the quality of the cookies!"
At Shoji's cue, Mineta and Izuku both got started. Mineta aimed for chocolate chip cookies while Izuku tried peanut butter cookies instead. After barely an hour, both boys were done with their batches of cookies, which the judge panel taste tested.
The boys started with Mineta's cookies. "These chocolate chip cookies lack the necessary level of sweetness that cookies in general are supposed to have," Sato remarked.
"They're also kind of burnt," Aoyama said.
"It looks like you tried offering us cardboard coasters you heated in the oven," Shoji replied.
"Ow, that hurts," Mineta in the audience said.
"But the question is," Sero began, "Will Izuku be better or worse?"
"Probably better," Bakugo said, "Because if Deku's cookies are only half as good as the ones that Mrs. Midoriya makes, then Deku's still set."
Blushing a bit, Inko said, "Aww, why thank you, Katsuki."
The three boys then tried Izuku's cookies. "Mmm!" Sato said, "Now these are cookies!"
"They have a certain quality about them that I cannot describe," Aoyama remarked, "Due to a lack of words to describe something of so wonderful a cookie!"
Shoji, using his mouth tentacle thing to talk, said, "Yeah, I think we're going to have to be giving this round to Izuku."
Izuku pumped his fists into the air in victory while Mineta sulked. Luckily there were still two more rounds in the contest, so he still had a shot.
"He'll blow both of them," Bakugo in the audience said with an amused smirk.
"Shut up," Mineta replied in a depressed tone.
...
The next round, which Aoyama insisted on, was basically a fashion contest. "After all, ladies love a sharply dressed man," Aoyama remarked.
At Aoyama's insistence, Mineta came out first. He wore a white dress coat over a light blue dress shirt, a pair of pants that matched the dress coat, a belt holding up the pants, black shoes and a gold necklace. Feeling confident about himself, Mineta asked, "So am I dressed to impress or what?"
"You look like a lounge lizard from the 1970s," Aoyama said bluntly, "Not attractive at all."
Slowly clapping his hands, Mineta in the audience said in a dry tone, "Wow, Aoyama. You get right to the point."
"Well that style is very much out of date," Aoyama remarked.
Next to come out was Izuku, who wore a green casual long sleeved dress shirt under a black dress vest, black dress pants held up with a belt, black dress shoes, and he wore a black fedora with a green band around the base. He also had a simple silvery chain necklace around his neck and a similarly colored band ring on his left ring finger.
"Ah, now this looks beautiful!" Aoyama declared, "I dare say we may already have our winner, especially since Izuku doesn't look like a walking sexual harassment lawsuit in the making!"
"But we're making the last round a winner take all deal," Bakugo said, "Mostly because the last contest is my idea and I wanna see it happen." Mineta still had a bit of hope left, since if he wins the last round then he'll win it all. He only hoped that Bakugo's idea won't be too rough for him and or Izuku to handle.
"It's probably going to be something that appeals to Bakugo's need for physical violence," Aizawa in the audience commented.
"...A walking sexual harassment lawsuit in the making," Mineta said as he turned to face where Aoyama was sitting, "Really."
"If it counts for anything, I'm sorry," Aoyama replied.
...
It turned out that Bakugo, ahead of time, had set up a large ring in the ground outside of the dorm building for their class. Mineta and Izuku, for the last contest in the challenge to see who can go after Uraraka, had to fight each other. As per Bakugo's rule, neither boy could use their quirks; they had to rely solely on punching and kicking the shit out of one another.
"Wait, this is basically Fight Club?!" Mineta exclaimed as he and Izuku stood in the ring, both of them wearing only a pair of pants each. Before Mineta could turn to look back, Izuku punched him in the face, breaking his nose a bit.
"Oi, and no cheap shots!" Bakugo yelled, "The manhoods are off limits!"
"Probably because the fight would end too quickly otherwise," Bakugo in the audience said, "If the me on screen is like me for real, then he's going to want to see some teeth fly."
As the two boys fought in the ring, Shinso from class 1-C, as well as a confused looking Uraraka, both came walking up to where Sero and Kaminari were watching. "...The hell are Midoriya and Mineta doing recreating Fight Club for?" Shinso asked.
"Izuku worked up the courage to confess to Uraraka," Kaminari explained, "He's in love with her."
"Oh...oh my goodness," Uraraka said as she started blushing and tearing up, "Izuku actually likes me?! That's...that's wonderful! I've been dreaming of hearing Izuku saying he loves me for so long!"
"Aww," a lot of the girls in the audience all said in touched tones.
Chuckling a bit, Ryukyu remarked, "It is rather sweet, I have to say."
"Go for the gold, girl!" Mina cheered, "Go for the gold!"
"But here's the thing," Sero said, "At the same time Izuku was about to confess to you, Mineta was about to try flirting with you." Right away, Uraraka's expression looked disgusted. "Yeah," Sero went on, "Since Izuku and Mineta were going to clash in their respective efforts, they're trying to duke it out.
Looking over in the ring, Izuku did a spinning kick that struck Mineta in the side of his head. The short teen barely recovered when Uraraka called out, "Boys, stop!" Both boys looked over and saw the girl they were fighting one another for. "There's no need for this contest at all," Uraraka said, "I want Izuku."
"Yes!" Izuku cheered.
"No!" Mineta cried out in anguish. Izuku and Uraraka then threw their arms around one another as the other students all cheered for them. All the while Mineta cried in defeat.
Mineta in the audience sighed in a resigned tone. "...I should have seen that coming."
"Well that boy, unlike you, actually has what it takes to be a true hero," Stain remarked, "You? All you are is what the sparkly boy said in this realm. A walking sexual harassment lawsuit in the making."
"He tried to be dirty towards one of my besties," Toga said in a murderously violent tone, "He has to be lynched."
...
As Mineta sat at the island counter in the kitchen of the class 1-A dorm, Sero, Kaminari, and Kirishima all tried to cheer him up. ...Well, Sero and Kaminari; Kirishima was eating a bowl of cereal. "So you failed on the first girl you tried going after," Sero said, "There's loads of other girls out there, you know."
"And you were competing for Uraraka against Izuku," Kaminari pointed out, "The fact you took those odds period shows you're willing to take risks."
Letting out a breath, Mineta said, "Yes. I am determined to get a girl to like me! I won't let nothing stop me!"
"Your persistence, if nothing else about you, is manly," Kirishima said without looking up from his bowl of cereal.
"At least someone said something nice about me," Mineta in the audience said in a resigned tone.
Shrugging, Kirishima said, "Yeah, but there's honestly not a whole lot that can be said about you that's nice, with all due respect. I mean, the way you act towards girls is hella unmanly."
"Who here is with me to help me score with the ladies?" Mineta asked.
"Like I said before, I won't stop or help you," Kaminari replied. Getting a bit serious, Kaminari added, "But I shall warn you of this only once." Getting Mineta to look at him, Kaminari said, "If you try going after the girl I got my eye on, I will fight you tooth and nail on the matter."
Seeing how serious Kaminari was, as well as having some respect for Kaminari as a person, Mineta said, "Very well. If the time does ever come, may the best man win." Both boys then nodded to one another. Mineta had no idea where his quest to score will take him, but he is nothing if not persistent in his efforts.
FIN
As the big theater screen went dark as the first episode ended, Tale said, "Well given there's a total of thirteen episodes, Mineta will have his work cut out for him."
"Thirteen?" Mineta said, looking surprised.
Turning to face where Mineta sat in the audience, Tale explained, "I said that I skimmed the show, so I have a vague idea of what all there will be. Uraraka was only the first of the girls in your year of the hero course. There's twelve more after that."
Chuckling, Bakugo said, "I can't wait to see Grape Head fail miserably again."
END OF CHAPTER
Author's notes;
Yeah, this idea was swimming around in my head for a while, so I need to get it out. Mineta will try flirting with a different girl in his year of the hero course once per chapter, and the audience will react to it. Also as a warning, this story won't be all that friendly to Mineta, so if it's not your cup of tea then I apologize. But if it is your cup of tea, then I hope you'll look forward to the next chapter. Anyone wanna guess which girl Mineta will try flirting with next?