Spongebob and Shrek

Author's note: when you hate the book you're writing and return back to writing these bad fan fictions and god damn I need a shower but don't want to due to bad mental health day and depression lulz

Spongebob was busy frying up burger patties on the grill. He was apathetic nowadays and no longer the hyper sponge he once was. He sighed as he flipped a burger. "Order up."

Suddenly Shrek slammed open the doors as All Star played and he walked inside. "AY! ONE BURGER!" He shouted at a bored and annoyed Squidward.

Spongebob scowled. That green fuck again. He hissed matching the hissing noises coming from the burgers. He already had one ready and he spat upon it to disrespect the ogre and then placed it onto buns and added all the toppings before handing it off to Squidward to hand to the customer.

"K, enjoy your food." Muttered Squidward.

Shrek went over to a table and pulled out the burger. He wanted to plop large disgusting gunks of ketchup into it. He removed the bun and noticed spit upon his burger. "EW, WHAT'S THIS?!" He marched up to Squidward and demanded to talk to the chef.

"What the fuck do you want?" Muttered the sponge.

"THERE'S SPIT IN MY BURGER!"

"WELL EAT MY SHIT!" Shouted Spongebob. "GO TO HELL AND EAT ALL MY SHIT AND DIE."

Shrek slapped the sponge and then barged into the kitchen slamming everything all over the place creating an enormous mess. The grill exploded into flames and all the patties fell out the freezer and onto the floor. Nothing but absolute chaos from within the kitchen.

Squidward sighed and looked at his watch. "Well, time to clock out work. Mr. Krabs, I'm clocking out!"

"FUCK YOU, ME BOY."

Squidward sighed and then peeked into the kitchen to see what was going on. There was so much noises, crashing, flames. He shrieked in absolute disgust and terror at what he found. Spongebob and Shrek were making out on the floor as flames roar around them.

"OH FUCK GOD LORD JESUS AQUARIUM HELL!" He screeched. "Mr. Krabs, I'm taking the whole week off!"

"FUCK YOURSELF!"

Squidward ran home to sob in his bathtub.

The next day, it was time for work. He walked in to find Shrek working the cashier. "Huh? What's going on?"

"Oh, you've been replaced." Spoke Mr. Krabs. "Yay har har!"

Spongebob popped his head out the window to kiss Shrek on the head. "ORDER UP, dear!"

"Oh my god." Squidward was internally screaming at the sight and the fact he lost his job.

Suddenly he woke up. "Oh thank god. It was all a horrible nightmare." He sat up in bed sighing in relief until he removed his bedsheets to discover Spongebob and Shrek giggling underneath. "OH SWEET JESUS GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!'

Now he had to wash his sheets thanks to the filthy ogre. He was so traumatized by that moment that he sat in his bathtub and just remained there for several hours emotionlessly.