Based on RSAHNP
by Henrik Hammer Hedemann…
The Mad Dog of Middleton: Mystical Fever
A woman in a light brown suit entered the fast food establishment. She had been watching some junior high brats through the large triangular windows from outside, prior.
Here in the suburbs of Middleton, a close neighboring city of Go, some teenage girl became famous for bypassing the McHenry Laser Grid, which is no small accomplishment. But this teen was making enough waves to be considered a threat because she's stepping way outside of her own designated jurisdiction, which has made her kind of a problem for other heroes that made a living out of this. She couldn't believe a middle schooler of all people was irritating enough people to warrant a punishment for not respecting the others, and this is from the higher powers, not just the small time players. Whoever Kim was, she was making everyone look like fools.
In some ways it was lucky for this girl that Shego was the one being sent to teach her a lesson. If it were some other hero, they would traumatize this girl into becoming more of a sidelines type of hero, and compliant with what is expected of her. But from what Shego's heard, heroes have killed other heroes in the past, and she wouldn't be surprised if this kid turned up dead because of some incompetent, jealous maniacs they call heroes running around out there. Some heroes would speak of killing in jest, and it was a sick thing to joke about, considering the deaths that have happened in the past, accidental and not. Not that a number of those dead didn't deserve what they got, but Shego feels there's no honor or satisfaction to be found in killing. It figures they get away with murder while Shego can't go a block without being bitched at by some thin skinned boomer for a joke she made a month ago.
The standards of what a hero is has fallen, not that it was in a good place to start. Shego remembered some deranged ginger called the Mathematician, one of the least mentally stable heroes running around, shooting criminals left and right with pedestrian onlookers only mere meters away. It kind of does take a psycho to risk their life as a hero, or it takes someone as delusional as her brothers. That man though is far worse than even Mego, bragging about disabling his enemies in such cowardly fashion, shooting out their kneecaps. That's what Shego couldn't stand. Shego looked people in the eye while she was whaling on them. Those sneaks that attack from behind are gutless.
One of the more famous heroes in the world named Berman, already wants the freelance heroine Kim Possible finished for being bad for business. He was talked down by Hego, who insisted that Team Go should be the ones to handle it. And by Team Go, he really meant it was just his sister Shego, who carried this shit team on her back, weighed down by the restrictions of the law and her aggressive, unsavory methods of fighting crime.
She was given the order to make this brat quit poking her nose in business that doesn't concern her, and use force if necessary. Shego begrudgingly agreed to gather information on this freelance heroine and talk her down with the added incentive, though the trip here was an absolute pain. It did give her some peace of mind knowing she was far from her brothers.
Shego stopped wearing her cheesy green superhero outfit a week back. That design was something she came up with herself. Hego was proud of it, but apparently to the general public, she looked ridiculous. Mego especially let her know how embarrassing it was. She was the subject of constant mockery in her home Go City, especially when Mego would prattle on and on to the media about Shego's attitude problems and status as an outcast among her peers in school. Shego has taken to wearing a brown suit coat and a green headband, though Hego in the most patronizing manner insisted the rest of the team keep the outfit, the designer Shego refused to wear it anymore.
She looked at four junior high kids chatting away sitting at a table.
"I'm telling you, you look better with the hair down." The blond boy said. "Same as KP."
A brunette with a ponytail told him bluntly, "I don't remember asking you for your opinion." He looked dejected at being dismissed. Get used to that son. Shego could empathize, having dealt with high school herself. "Fine, I'll think about it." The cheerleader conceded.
"Hey uh, kiddos." Shego said awkwardly in a grating fashion. They all turned to look at her. For a woman going into teaching, she really had no idea how to talk to kids. One of the reasons she chose this kind of job is to stop them from turning out like the brats she was forced to share a classroom with.
"Hi!" A blond boy said happily. He seemed like an oblivious dolt, but at least he's not like the other cautious kids there looking at her funny.
"From what I overheard, you kids know a girl named Kimmy, right?" Shego tried to sound inconspicuous.
"What, were you eavesdropping on us?" A brunette in a cheerleading uniform said. Shego always thought cheerleading was a vapid sport for a superficial bunch of barbie dolls.
"Don't take me for a bad person or anything, I'm just a private detective," Shego lied. "I tried her place first, but apparently she doesn't go straight home. So I figured she would be with her boyfriend. That's you isn't it? You have any idea where she is?"
The blond boy shook his head. "Dude, would you date one of your siblings? The one you want is right over there. Walter Nelson."
The brown haired boy that sat diagonally across gave him the stink eye, like he didn't want to be discovered. "Great, Ron. Thanks."
"What?" Ron didn't understand what was wrong. "She's probably just trying to help Kim solve a crime. I mean that's what detectives do."
"Oh no worries. It's totally a brilliant idea to give this creepy old hag all the deets on where your best friend is, when tin teeth's running around like a crazy person playing hero." The cheerleader said, rolling her eyes. She was being called an old hag even though she's not actually that old. Must be her sultry voice that throws people off.
The other girl there looked afraid, unlike the mouthy cheerleader that reminded Shego of the bitchy bullies she had to deal with.
"Don't think I don't recognize you." Walter said. "You're that child arsonist."
"Ron you really are an idiot." The girl with dirty blonde hair next to him did, too, judging by that reaction.
Ron was confused. "You know her Tess?"
"Do you live under a rock? She's infamous for using her hero status to get away with sending people to the hospital. Not to mention the property damage and how she treats people." The news even called her a disgrace to heroes. Really goes to show just how worthless public opinion is. "Even when she was younger she was a delinquent." This Tessa girl was really stretching the word innocent. It's impressive the kid could recognize her when Shego wasn't from around here. Shego did have a pretty distinct look to her though, and she gets a lot of flak for apparently being a corrupt hero.
"Don't believe everything you see on TV, kid." Shego said. That so-called corruption is just a misunderstanding used to drum up controversy. She doesn't wait for a warrant, or permission from anyone else to make a move on something. So the general public, especially the media, call her impulsive. Well, no shit she'll break a couple rules to put the bad guys away. At least she gets it done. If she waits like a good little girl, by the time they can make a move, the evidence has been cleaned up, or the criminals get away. It's a no wonder nothing is being done about the rise of supervillainy. "Well, I suppose this makes it easier in some ways. Mind if we take a short walk, mister boyfriend?"
He hesitated, silent and stiff.
"Don't do it Walter," Tess said. "This woman is dangerous."
"Shut up Tessa." The cheerleader just wanted them all to leave. "How about we don't piss off the unhinged maniac and give her what she wants, please?" The brat says one thing, and does the other. Shego hated girls like this.
"Hey maybe if your dumb friend wasn't such a freak, all this craziness wouldn't be happening," Tessa shot back. "Kim's always been selfish, always putting us in danger just so she can show off."
"Kim hasn't done anything wrong!" Ron spoke up, "You're the one that's being-" A bored looking Shego interrupted Ron by suddenly pulling him out of his seat and punching the boy straight in the gut. Ron grunted in pain as the others stood up scared.
"Ron!" His cheerleader friend said. Every person in the restaurant turned their heads to look.
"Shut up already, all of you!" These brats were giving her a headache. Shego pointed at them, "Obviously, you kids aren't the best listeners, so we're going to have to do this the hard way. Now that I have your attention, I'm expecting you to do as I say, when I say it! Is that understood?"
He didn't seem terribly concerned about the boy at all. "Alright, but please, just don't hurt us." Walter said.
Ron grunted in pain.
"Out with it. Do you or do you not know where Kim Possible is?" Shego said straight as an arrow.
"I can show you. She's probably still at home right now." Walter told her. Good. He could take her there. "If you let them go without harm, I'll tell you everything I know."
Ron with Shego still holding onto his jersey, managed to get out some words as he gasped for air, winded from the blows. "Wait hold on Walter! What the frick? This dangerous lady is snooping around trying to go after your girlfriend, and you're just gonna tell her where she is?" The blond boy looked angered. He must have put two and two together by now, and realized she wasn't a detective.
"If he knew this would happen he never would have dated her in the first place." Tess went off on Ron.
"Then you never deserved to even date Kim," Ron said to Kim's boyfriend.
"Enough of this high school drama shit." Shego let go of the blondie and grabbed Walter by his collar to pull him outside. "Let's drop the pretenses shall we? Take me to the princess, twinky boy, or your friends are gonna get it."
"Hold the phone!" Ron said. He stepped up trying to act tough, though she liked the fire in his eye. "You're not going anywhere with him."
"Hooh?" Shego smirked, pushing the kid off her. "Really, now?"
"All of you get out of here. I'm the one who messed up, so I'll take responsibility." Ron looked at Shego. She liked that look.
The cheerleader tugged at Ron's sleeve. "Ron." She looked concerned.
"Don't get me wrong, Walter. Once I'm done with her, you and I are going to have a talk about real commitment."
"Would you shut up already? My god." Tess said, though she took Walter by the hand, and started to run.
"Hey we're not done!" Shego lunged for them but Ron got in her way, shoving her back. Can't believe the kid was still standing after all that. She scoffed. "Are you sure you want to do this, boy? You should have just stayed down."
"I'm not the kind of dog that likes to play dead." He scratched his nose. "Besides that, I've always wanted to try playing hero too."
"Some thanks you're getting for that." Shego eyed them as they left, with some customers and workers too also fleeing out the front door. Only one of them remained. The cheerleader. Shego first assumed she was too scared to leave but realized the girl was actually worried about the 'boy wonder' over there. Even if those two were gone, maybe she could tell her where this Kim was. Or at least she can beat it out of him.
"Don't even think about it." The boy came in between Shego and the girl. "Stand back, Bonbon! Let the Ron man take care of this!" This kid could do too. She would like to see the moment he breaks. A guy like this is all talk. It would be cute, if it wasn't so pathetic.
Haven't cut loose like this in awhile. Shego readied up. If this kid wanted to join the world of adults that bad, she'd be happy being his first to break him in. "Let's get it on kid!"
Team Go
Shego, the Neon Sidekick
VS
Junior High Schooler
Ron Stoppable
Shego tested his movements, pulling her punches for the time being and taking it slow. She wasn't about to go full ham and plasma some punk kid. One, two. She smacked his hands away. He was actually passable, like he knew how to fight, despite his age. Nothing to write home about though, she read him. She caught him with her jabs in the chest and face. He held his nose, making it sound plugged up. "Ow."
Ron went for a punch, she easily moved away and hit him in the head with an elbow, making him stumble. Shego grinned maniacally, having fun playing with the kid. Again he tried to at least get a hit in, but she blocked without much effort. She pulled on his jersey and let him topple. He got tripped up but stayed on his one foot. As he was relieved he didn't fall over, Shego punched him real hard in the face, making him go through a chair and a table. Food went flying everywhere.
Suddenly and unexpectedly, he threw a chair right at her, making her look away covering her face with her arm. While that happened he jumped and high jump kicked her into the table he had been sitting at. Food and sauce got all over her nice civilian clothes, which rightfully pissed her off. "Son of a.."
"That was awesom- OH N!"
Shego grabbed him by the head and pulled him down, shoving her knee into his jaw. He rolled around in pain on the ground. Shego gave her clothes a patting, trying to get what was on her off. Then she dragged him to the nearby front counter. Shego slammed Ron's face into the pepsi dispenser over and over, and with each press, some liquid spurt out.
"Stoop! It's a waste of perfectly good sodaa." He said.
Ron ducked and hit her in the stomach, which she actually felt. He attempted to get her with a few hits, but Shego blocked and parried. "That all you got kid? My little brother hits harder than you!"
He took it as a challenge. "Oh yeah!? Then how about this?!"
Putting his weight into it, with one step forward, he threw everything he had. Shego caught his fist with ease before it could make contact with her forehead. She twisted his wrist, and his expression went to one of shock to one of pain. This boy was years too early to be fighting her.
She heard the noise of glass breaking behind her, and then a cold numbness. Someone had struck her from behind. Coins spilled all over the floor, rolling about and scattering.
Shego looked behind her as she slumped down with a great headache. It was the cheerleader bitch. She had hit her from behind with the tip jar while she wasn't looking, making it shatter to a hundred pieces.
"Why you little-!" Shego cried out.
As Shego lunged for her, the blondie pulled her back backwards and maneuvered himself so she would trip right over him. He stood up so she could be lifted up off her feet and flip, making her crash into a table awkwardly. The landing looked as painful as it felt. Her leg met the sharp edge of the table, cutting it open.
"Booyeah!"
Shego got right back up on her feet, furious as she felt the sting from her new irritating wounds on her thigh.
"Aw crud."
Ron tried a roundhouse kick as she went right back onto him, but it was comically slow and awkward. Shego caught his leg and started wailing away, elbowing his knee over and over. He screamed in pain. Ron jumped and used his other foot to land his heel right into her teeth. She tasted her blood and felt a rush of adrenaline. She sprinted into him so his back would hit the front counter before he could recover.
He fell and put his hands on his spine groaning, but refused to stay down. Ron got right back up and taunted her with his hand, urging her to bring it. The kid was actually smiling the same as she, which was very odd. He was outmatched, but it seemed he was willing to fight, even knowing he had no chance of beating her. This kid wasn't at even a decent level yet, but she still had some fun with him, indulging in the thrill of a fight.
Just when she was starting to respect his grit, the boy started spinning around like a tornado with his fists up. "Both offense and defense at the same time! Take this!"
Shego didn't even give his idiotic technique the time of day and kicked him hard in the stomach. The force was enough to make him topple backwards. He rolled back on to his feet.
"So much for a spirited comeback." Ron said.
He was getting tired, Shego could tell. He was breathing like he had just ran a marathon. He eyed something behind Shego, and it looked like he had an idea.
"Bonnie!" He called for his little girlfriend. "Naco me!"
The cheerleader tossed some kind of Mexican food in the air. Shego figured it must be important enough to eat in the middle of the fight.
As Ron was about to make a catch, Shego pushed him out of the way, and stuffed it all in her mouth. "Hey that's actually pretty good, thanks for the meal, kid." As she devoured it, the boy looked devastated enough to the point of looking like he was about to burst into tears, which made it all worthwhile.
"NO!"
Enraged, he moved in to attack. He was fast, and this time, his movements were unpredictable enough to cause her to miss. She was toying with him, for the most part, anyway. But she could tell there was something off about the fight. By now he should be at the end of his rope. His flurry of punches actually made some good contact, though, there wasn't enough to power behind them because he was so close. Shego allowed the boy to get his shots in only so he could stay close and take it from her. Up close and personal, the two took turns wailing on each other, holding onto each other's clothes tight so that they couldn't move away from getting punched.
The boy was much bloodier and more bruised than she of course. But this kid had no quit in him, barely holding on, clinging to her so he wouldn't fall down.
"Just give it up already, stubborn motherf-!" Shego spat.
Two policemen bolted in to the restaurant, shouting with their guns unholstered. "Freeze you psycho! Let the kid go!"
Shego and the Ron kid let go of each other. Shego put her hands up. Oddly enough, the blond kid raised his as well, still right next to her. Someone must have reported the altercation. At first she assumed it was one of the employees or customers. Shego turned, and saw the cheerleader sticking her tongue out like some immature brat.
One of the officers held the gun right up at her face. She looked into the barrel fearlessly. "If you're really going to shoot me, you better not fucking miss, pigs." She threatened him. These useless nine to five coppers never liked her, and the feeling was mutual. It would be a favor if they just went and shot her, seeing as how she would have to explain this all to the press. Or worse, having to face her useless family that really liked to rub salt in the wound.
Maybe she really wasn't thinking it through. But, she had more fun today fighting than she has in awhile. This isn't the first time she's being handcuffed, and even after the scolding she was in for, she didn't expect this arrest to be the last. For some reason she felt more free in these cuffs than she did on the job. Shego was so bored of it all, like her life was a stagnant, shitty repeat of yesteryear. She could feel the scrutiny from these muppets as they read her her rights. They had the very same judging eyes as her peers. The kind of eyes she so desperately wanted to beat into a bloody, unrecognizable mess. Little do they know she could escape from these cuffs in a manner of seconds with her powers.
It was wrong to be thinking this way. To be so different from everyone else, that's why they called her a freak. Her brother keeps saying she can change, that this isn't her. It's time like these where she felt if these feelings of hers are wrong, well then in all honestly, she didn't want to be right.