Private Talks

A/N: Thank you for your encouraging reviews for 'Home Movies'! And what can I say – I caved. Here is a continuation of that story, centering on those 'private talks' and related moments between Tony and Angela (and maybe the rest of the family) that hopefully followed and 'got them there'. I want to leave 'Home Movies' as it is, and that title wouldn't fit anyway, so this will be its own multi-chapter beast. For the purposes of this story, we're going to ignore most of the 'filler' and otherwise counterproductive episodes and storylines in canon, which means that some of the more ludicrous stuff – such as Tony being so easily tempted by other women – simply never happens.

This starts when Tony and Angela go for a cup of coffee near the end of 'A Jack Story', the episode that immediately follows 'Yankee Doodle Micelli', where Tony gets jealous because Angela is so taken with her new hire and spends a lot of time with him.

I hope you enjoy!

Ch 1 – A Jack Story

The waitress brought Tony and Angela their coffees, and for a while they busied themselves by putting in the required amounts of milk to suit their individual tastes.

Tony still felt giddy with relief at having discovered that Jack and Angela were not, in fact, having an affair. Now that he was more relaxed, he realized that it had been an irrational assumption from the start. Their heartfelt conversation – and their make-out session – during movie night last month should have been enough to assure him that he had absolutely nothing to worry about.

But these jealous reflexes were so deeply ingrained and so familiar by now that he just hadn't been able to shake the feeling. And – Tony had to admit this to himself – he hadn't done a very good job of following up on his promise (to himself and to her) to have another 'private talk' with Angela soon. So maybe his guilty conscience had also played a part in fueling his jealousy.

Since they had watched the Super 8 films together, and the topic of another child had come up, and that had led to confessions of love (albeit in a very roundabout way, which seemed to be how they did things), neither of them had made the next move. Maybe because neither of them knew what exactly that next move should be.

It was just so easy to fall back into familiar patterns, and everyday life had a way of interfering as well. There were the kids with their activities and assignments, there was Mona, there was his schoolwork, and of course the Bower Agency.

Recently, it had been increasingly difficult to carve out time for them to be alone. Tony had started spending his afternoons at the library, and Angela had worked through the past three weekends. At first, she had been busy with the hiring process, and then Jack himself had occupied her time. Or rather, the projects on which they worked together had.

Now that he knew better, Tony felt embarrassed about his jealousy. But maybe something good could come out of the whole undignified episode. If anything, the intensity of his feelings had made it clear to him that he really, really wanted what they had talked about on the couch that night – and that he had dropped the ball on making sure it happened.

Maybe this was their opportunity to talk, to figure out a way forward. He would be damned if he let it pass them by.

"Angela?" he said when both of them had done all the pouring and stirring there was to be done and the lack of conversation began to make him nervous. "About what you said before, when you told me about Jack's girlfriend."

"What about that?"

Tony wanted to look down into his coffee cup, but forced himself to face Angela instead. "She wasn't the only one who was jealous."

An amused look took over Angela's features. "Oh?" she said, and Tony could hear the suppressed smile in her voice. Her expression remained carefully neutral, as if she didn't want to embarrass him.

But Tony didn't have it in him to react like an adult. "You knew," he cried.

"Mother told me," Angela admitted.

"Mona! I should have known. I'm telling you, Angela, you're not the only one who never learns." Tony wanted to kill Mona for tattling on him. Why couldn't this woman stay out of other people's business, not even once?

Angela laughed. "Actually, I thought it was kind of cute. And she meant well, Tony. Also, Mother pointed out to me that maybe I didn't tell you enough about why I hired Jack."

"What do you mean?" What did she mean?

"Well, lately we've had a lot of new business come in at the Agency. As you know. That's a very positive development, of course. But until now, everything depended pretty heavily on me. I did the jobs of three people, basically. It's my agency, and we're still growing, so that's to be expected. But it's not a long-term solution. I want the business to have a more solid foundation. That means, there need to be more shoulders to carry the load, so to speak. Division of labor," she said matter-of-factly.

"So Jack is …"

"One of those pairs of shoulders, yes. As Creative Director, he is going to take over a significant number of responsibilities that used to be mine."

"And what are you going to do?"

"Believe me, there will be plenty of work left for me. But I figured that it would be smart to start … distributing everything better. If I'm being honest, I came to this decision also in light of what you and I talked about recently. I would like to be able to take a step back if I ever need to. Or want to."

She spoke very softly when she said these last two things and looked at him meaningfully.

Finally, the penny dropped. "Ooh," Tony said. "You mean if you, I mean – when we …"

Angela nodded. "Yes. That is, if you still want that."

"Of course I do!" he said, starting off indignantly, but quickly turning the corner to helpless. "I guess I've just not been very good at showing you. I don't know what it is, Angela. Why we keep getting … distracted."

She smiled softly. "It isn't easy to break out of our routines."

"Yeah," he agreed. "And there are so many things to worry about."

"Like what?" she asked.

"Everything? The kids, college, the neighbors, the fact that you're still my boss …" he trailed off when he saw her face fall.

Before he had started speaking, Tony himself had not been aware of how many things he was apparently worried about.

Angela reached for his hand that was not holding the coffee cup and looked him straight in the eyes, with an expression that he had seen before. She wore this mask when she had difficult news to break, or when she made tough business decisions: friendly and self-possessed. For people who didn't know Angela well, it was impossible to discern what she was feeling.

"Tony, I need you to understand one thing. Whatever I'm doing at the Agency – hiring Jack, hiring other people in the future, organizing my workload so I can be more flexible: I would have done it anyway. This is not only because of what we talked about. And it is not something I'm doing to put pressure on you. So, if you've changed your mind, I understand. But it would be nice if you could just-"

"No!" he interrupted her much more vehemently than he had intended. Angela's eyes went wide, and some of the other patrons in the diner turned their heads in the direction of their booth. She looked around, as if trying to gauge how much attention Tony had drawn to them.

"No," he repeated in a lower voice. "I want this. You have no idea how much. Hey …" He caught her chin between his thumb and index finger and tipped her face so that she was looking at him. "I need you to believe me. Please."

"I do," she said, and without hesitation, he was glad to note.

"Okay." Tony inhaled before pressing on. "I'm just stuck on how we get from … wanting it, to actually, you know – doing it."

He saw Angela bite down on a grin at his unfortunate – if ultimately truthful – choice of words, but she was quick to get a grip on herself again.

"I think we're supposed to figure that out together," she said softly and squeezed his hand.

"Together is good," Tony said, relief flooding his system.

"Yeah," Angela agreed. "And we don't need all the answers by tomorrow."

"Maybe we should just go away," he mused.

"Go away? But what about Mother, and the kids-"

"Not forever. Just for the weekend. Sometime soon. So we can talk," he said, not sure what he really meant by that.

"I would love that," Angela said. "But what are we going to do about Mother and the kids? Should we tell them the truth?"

"I don't know. Wouldn't that put even more pressure on us? You know, a watched pot never boils," he sing-songed.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Angela was chewing her bottom lip, thinking.

That's when inspiration struck. Of course! "Hey! I've got it!" he grabbed Angela by the shoulders in excitement.

"I've got that invitation to the Cardinals' Oldtimers Weekend in St. Louis three weeks from now. I was going to go alone, you know, hang out with the guys. But why don't you come? You've come to my baseball stuff before. I'm sure we could get another room. Or … not," he added, unsure of how Angela would want to handle this particular aspect of their travel arrangements.

Her face lit up. "Tony, that's a wonderful idea. You know I love to watch you play, and I've never been to St. Louis before," she gushed before continuing in a more doubtful tone. "Oh, but are you sure? I don't want to keep you from spending time with your friends."

"Angela!" he warned her, but not without affection. "They're my friends, alright. But you're my best friend."

"Okay, okay," she laughed. "I really want to go to St. Louis with you. And I'll talk to Jack and make sure business is taken care of, so I won't have to bring any work with me, and we'll have some time for us."

Tony liked the sound of that. Hearing her talk about them as an 'us'. "You know what, Angela? I'm really glad you hired this guy."

"Uh-huh," she said and slapped his forearm playfully.

"I'm serious."

Under the table, Tony nudged her knee with his, and Angela returned the nudge, and somehow, they both left their legs like that, and their thighs kept pressing against each other for as long as it took them to finish their coffees in companionable silence.

"So, did you come up with anything good for the pitch?" Tony asked her after they had paid the bill and were back out on the street, walking next to each other on the sidewalk, their shoulders touching occasionally.

Things between them were taking some kind of turn, he could feel it. There was a new sense of … insecurity. Should he be walking this close to her? Or closer? Or maybe further away, was this already unusually close? It wasn't a bad feeling, though – it was exciting.

Next to him, Angela had temporarily switched into work mode. "We're going for a two-pronged approach: Jack from the creative side, and I'll be dazzling them with the numbers," she explained. "I've only known him for a couple of weeks, but we work really well together. It's as if we can read each other's minds. Professionally, I mean," she added hastily.

"Angela, stop it," Tony said sheepishly. "You don't need to explain. It's fine. I'm fine. Really. I think it's great you found someone you can trust, and who you can share your workload with. Especially if that means more time for us." He tried to be a little bold here, repeating the 'us' back to her, hoping it would register.

The diner hadn't been far from the hotel, and now they were standing in front of the main entrance.

"I'll let you get some sleep," Tony said, again unsure of how much or how little distance he was supposed to keep from her. "And good luck with your presentation. Even though you don't need it. You're going to be great."

"Thank you, Tony," Angela beamed at him. "You have a safe trip back home."

"You know me, safety first!" Tony said, laughing too loudly.

Angela kept smiling at him. Was this an invitation? He shifted his weight from one leg to the other. "Hey, uh, Angela?"

"Mhm?"

"I mean, this wasn't a date or anything. But we did go for coffee. And we talked. So maybe that counts for something … Do you think – uh, can I kiss you good night?" he finally got the words out. What was he, 13 years old again? (No, wait, make that 11.)

"You most definitely can," Angela breathed and took one small step towards him.

Tony closed the rest of the distance between them, and their hands found each other, as did their lips. They were standing on the sidewalk in the middle of Manhattan, simultaneously very much out in the open, and completely anonymous. Nobody here knew who they were, nobody cared what they did, Tony realized. He pulled Angela a little closer.

It hadn't been that long since their last kiss, and this one almost felt like a homecoming. Angela tasted of coffee and something else, something familiar that was uniquely her. Tony could have spent all night on that sidewalk, his fingers interlaced with hers, losing himself in their connection. But of course, that wasn't possible. She had to go to sleep, and he had to go to Fairfield.

Eventually, Angela took that small step back again, and they parted.

"Good night, Tony," she said, and then the tip of her tongue darted out of her mouth and she licked her upper lip. An unconscious mannerism maybe, but maybe not. Tony swallowed.

"Good night, Angela."

They let go of each other's hands, and she turned around and went inside. Tony stood and watched her round the corner towards the elevators before he tore himself away to go looking for the van. For a moment, he seemed to have forgotten where he had parked only an hour and a half earlier.

Luckily, he found it just around the block, in an alley where only beat-up old vans like his stood a chance of not being stolen or vandalized. Tony unlocked the door, got behind the wheel and hit the dashboard just so. The radio came to life, and he tuned it to his favorite jazz station before turning into traffic.

The sky above the New York metro area was lit much too brightly from below, the electricity between him and Angela doubtlessly a contributing factor, and it was overcast anyway. But that night, Tony saw stars all the way home to Connecticut.