Chapter 1

"Congratulations, Katara, you are a bloodbender."

Katara dropped to her knees, hands over her mouth as she sobbed. The old woman's cackling filled her ears. Bloodbender. Bloodbender. Bloodbender. A sick feeling rose up from the pit of her stomach.

What have I done? She could still feel it, the popping joints and crackling ligaments when she bent Hama's blood to her will. Reaching inside, under the skin, through the veins, for the blood that pulsed through the cords and delicate webs of the old hag's blood vessels. She had even felt Hama's heart beating, weak and irregular, pumping the lifeblood through her frail and shriveled body. Katara felt certain that If she had reached just a bit further, she could have stopped her heart. Having that kind of control over Hama filled her with wonder and revolted her at the same time.

Katara was dimly aware of the others, of Aang with his arm around her shoulders and Sokka with his hand on her back. Together, Aang and her brother formed a circle around her, as if to protect her from the horror of what just happened. Of what she did. She wondered if they would still try to comfort her if they knew what a monster she was.

Toph was running over to them, and Sokka got up to meet her. Panic flooded her brain as she realized that if Aang followed him, she would be completely alone. She didn't deserve his support, but she couldn't deal with the horror of what she had become, not alone. She turned to see him kneeling beside her, watching her with concern. Don't leave me alone, she wanted to say, but the words wouldn't come.

But Aang seemed to understand what she needed. He reached around with his other arm and pulled her close. She rested her chin on his shoulder and tried to lose herself in the warmth of his arms and the sweet windblown scent that was uniquely Aang.

Her erratic breathing slowed until it matched the rhythm of Aang's breathing. With her arms around him, Katara felt his chest expanding and relaxing with every breath. Could airbenders feel the currents of breath the way she could feel currents of blood? Could they reach inside the lungs and steal a person's breath? Or stop it completely? Katara shuddered. She was sure thoughts like these had never crossed Aang's mind. They had never crossed her mind, either. Until today.

Until today, Katara never wondered what people looked like, under their skin. With her hands resting on Aang's back, it would be so easy for her to reach a little further, a little deeper, just to see. She wondered if she could take a peek. Would he feel it if she did? Would his blood look the same as Hama's, or would his blood take different paths and weave different patterns? By looking inside of Aang, she would see him in a way that no one else ever could. Except…someone did. Hama.

Katara jerked back with a gasp and pulled away from Aang. Her heart pounded as she realized how close she was to…not bloodbending, but something like it. The desire to see people, to see Aang, the way a bloodbender saw them sickened her and fascinated her at the same time. Hama's words echoed in her ears. You're a bloodbender now. She was the same as Hama.

"Katara? What's wrong?" Aang asked. The concerned look was back. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

"Uh, nothing." She stood up a little too fast, and the world spun around her. She pressed her fingers to her temple to steady herself. The dark, hulking forms of the forest trees pressed in around them, and she felt like they were being watched by invisible eyes. "I just need…to get away from this place. Let's go join the others."

As the four of them walked to town, Toph and Sokka debated about where to spend the night. Katara hung behind and paid little attention to the conversation. Aang walked next to her and interjected a few comments, but otherwise he didn't say much.

When they reached the village, they found a short man with a white beard waiting for them. "I am Chinyu, the mayor of Jiang Sha. Thank you for saving the people of our village from that witch, Hama."

"We're just glad we stopped her before she could kidnap anymore villagers," Aang said. "Actually, we just found the villagers. It was Katara who stopped her."

Katara wished he wouldn't say it like that. His words only reminded her—yet again—that she was a bloodbender.

Chinyu nodded. "We never suspected her. She was just a quiet old innkeeper who kept mostly to herself."

"Well, I thought she was creepy. My instincts could tell something wasn't right," Sokka said. Then he frowned and rubbed his chin. "We were staying at her inn, but there's no way I'm spending another night there."

"I told you, we should just grab our stuff and camp in the woods like we usually do. No big deal," Toph said with a shrug.

"It is a big deal! I'm not camping in those woods! Not after what just happened!"

Toph waved her hand dismissively. "You're just a big sissy. The witch is locked up and we freed everyone who was tied up under the mountain. There's nothing to be afraid of."

"But, but, it's so dark out there! And the trees have branches that look like arms. What if they grab us when we're sleeping?" Sokka grabbed Toph's arm, his eyes wide. "What if they're people-eating trees?"

Toph pushed him away. "There's no such thing as people-eating trees. And everything always looks dark to me, so you're talking to the wrong person."

Chinyu cleared his throat and chuckled. "We cannot have our heroes spending the night in the woods. That will never do. Please, allow us to express our gratitude by putting you up in the best rooms our village has to offer."

"Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!" Sokka said, squeezing the old man in a bear hug.

Toph snickered.

Sokka stood up straight and cleared his throat. "I mean, thank you, Mayor Chinyu, for your kind hospitality," he said with a bow.

Chinyu smiled. "Please, come with me. I'll send someone to collect your belongings. Allow me to escort you to your rooms."

"Here you are. It's not much, but it's the best we have."

The group stood on the top floor of the main village inn. Chinyu opened the only door on that level to reveal a large sitting area with two short hallways leading to several bedrooms. An inviting fire crackled in the large fireplace.

"It's a suite! SWEET!" Sokka bounded inside and flopped down on the couch facing the fireplace. His eyes widened as he scanned the coffee table, which was covered with small dishes and canisters of fruit and dried food. "Hey! Meat jerky!" he exclaimed, as he snatched up a piece of dried meat and chewed on one end. "Not quite the same as seal jerky, but pretty tasty nonetheless."

"I could get used to living like this," Toph said as she peeled a lychee and popped it into her mouth.

"They even have persimmons and apple pears," Aang said, gathering several pieces of fruit into a pouch. "Appa will love these. They're his favorite."

"Hey, Katara, will you look at this—they have FIVE different kinds of jerky!" Sokka shoved a fistful of dried meat in her direction. "You should try some!"

Katara waved him away. "Thanks, but I'm good," she said, and sank into a chair in the far corner of the room. She had no appetite, and she just wanted to get away from everyone else. Maybe if she kept her distance, she would be less tempted to use bloodbending to see…inside.

Thankfully, the others stayed near the fireplace and carried on with their typical banter. Katara longed to join them, but she didn't trust herself around them. Part of her wished Aang would notice that she was sitting off by herself. It stung to realize he hadn't, as she watched him chat with the others in his usual carefree manner. But it was probably for the best. She shouldn't be near him anyway, not after what she almost did earlier.

Not long after Chinyu left, some village youths dropped off the bags that they had retrieved from Hama's inn. Toph grabbed her satchel and headed for the closest bedroom. "I don't know about the rest of you bozos, but I'm bushed. 'Night everyone."

"Yeah. Me too," Sokka said, suppressing a yawn. He slung his pack over one shoulder and waved, heading down the hallway past Toph's room. "Good night."

Katara reluctantly got up from her chair. She wasn't ready to be alone, not really. At least when the others were still around, she could stay off to the side by herself and let their conversation distract her. But now that everyone was headed off to bed, she was going to be alone, like it or not.

Then Aang was standing in front of her, holding out her bag. "I think this one is yours."

"Thanks." From the look in his eyes, she could tell that he had noticed her staying away from the group. "I should to turn in, too," she said quickly, before he could ask any questions. "Good night, Aang."

Katara always brushed her hair before bed. There was something soothing about stroking the bristles through her hair, after she had taken out her topknot and braids. On most nights, brushing her hair filled her with a sense of peace and helped her relax.

But peace was hard to come by tonight. She stood by the bedroom window, staring at her reflection in the dim light cast by the lamp on her nightstand. Blue eyes and dark skin gave her away as Water Tribe, especially now that she had changed out of her red Fire Nation clothes. In her chest wrap and shorts, with long hair draped over her shoulders, she looked like any other girl getting ready for bed. What she wouldn't give for that to still be true. But she was different, now. Her face was just a mask for the monster she had become. The reflection gazing back at her distorted and transformed into Hama's withered face, eyes wild and cackling with glee.

Someone knocked on the door. She yelped and dropped the brush, which clattered to the floor.

"Can I come in?" said a voice from the other side of the door. It was Aang.

"Yeah, come in" she replied, against her better judgment. But she just couldn't be alone right now.

The door, which was slightly ajar, slowly pushed open. Aang stepped inside. He had taken off his headband, which usually came off the instant their group was safe from prying eyes. His arrow tattoo emerged from his full head of hair, the soft blue lines standing out on his pale forehead. His chest and feet were bare, too. Fire Nation summers were hot, and tonight was especially warm.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Katara wanted to say I'm fine, but she couldn't bring herself to lie to him. Not when he looked at her with concern in his eyes, the look that made her feel like she was the only person in the world who mattered. That made her feel vulnerable.

"No," she admitted. "I'm not okay."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Katara bit her lip. How could she possibly explain it to Aang? That even as she bloodbended Hama, part of her was fascinated by what she was doing? That she almost used her newfound bloodbending on Aang, just because she was curious? She clenched her fists. I'm a monster.

"I'm a bloodbender, Aang," was all she managed to say.

In a few quick strides, he crossed the room and was at her side. "No, you're not. You're a waterbender. Hama forced you to learn bloodbending to save me and Sokka. It's not like you had a choice."

"You don't understand," Katara said. "You've never bloodbended before. I…can't get it out of my head. I wish I could unlearn it. I wish we could go back to yesterday, when I was simply a waterbender."

"You used bloodbending once. It doesn't change who you are," Aang said, and put his hand on her shoulder.

Katara jerked away as if burned, and backed a few steps away. "I didn't just use it once!" she shouted.

Aang stared at her, his expression hurt and confused.

"I'm sorry, Aang, I didn't mean to yell at you." She was still backing away from him, and only stopped when her shoulders hit the wall. "I just…it's just hard for me to be around you right now."

He flinched as if stung by her words. "Oh. I see," he said, although he clearly didn't. "Maybe I should go, then."

"No! No, that's not what I meant." Katara reached for his arm, but stopped short of actually touching him. "What I meant was… I want to… I need you to…"

With a frustrated sigh, she dropped to her knees, her hands balled into fists against her thighs. She tried to focus on the patterns in the wood grain of the floorboards. "When I used bloodbending on Hama, I could see the blood inside of her. But it was more than just seeing. I could feel every artery and every vein, even her heart. Her life, pulsing in my hands. It was awful…but also amazing."

Aang knelt in front of her. After a long moment, he said quietly, "You said you used bloodbending more than once?"

Katara drew in a shaky breath and kept her eyes trained on the swirling wood grain on the floor in front of her. "Not exactly. I can't stop thinking about bloodbending. About what other people—what their blood looks like and feels like. I can't stop wanting to know what they look like under their skin. I can't stop wanting to use bloodbending to see inside of other people. And I almost did it, tonight—with you."

She clapped a hand over her mouth, wishing she could take back the words that just spilled out. Thinking these things was bad enough, but saying them out loud made them sound even worse. She squeezed her eyes shut, and hot tears of shame streamed down her face.

"So that's why you've been avoiding me—and everyone else—tonight."

Katara nodded mutely.

"That still doesn't make you a bloodbender. You used bloodbending to stop Hama. You haven't used it again, because you didn't want to hurt anyone."

"But I almost did!"

"But you stopped yourself, didn't you?"

"I guess so."

Silence stretched out between them. Katara kept her eyes fixed on the floor. "There's more to it than that, Aang," Katara finally said. "When I used bloodbending on Hama, I went through the same stances as waterbending, and I had to use my hands. As long as I stop myself from going through the motions, I can avoid bloodbending altogether. But if I'm touching someone, I can reach inside without really trying. And then…I'm just one step away from taking control.

"I can't stop thinking about it, Aang. Wanting to see things that aren't meant to be seen. Wanting to feel someone's life in my hands, knowing I can make them do anything I want. Crossing a line that's not meant to be crossed." Katara shivered and hugged her arms to her chest. "Whenever I touch someone, crossing that line feels like it would be so easy to do. I almost crossed that line with you.

"I'm scared, Aang. I'm scared of myself," she said, her voice breaking. "I don't know what do."

"Katara…I think I know how to help you," Aang said.

Katara jerked her head up in surprise, and their eyes met. She expected to see her own disgust and self-loathing reflected back at her, but there was only a gentle openness in his eyes. There was hurt, too, but not because of her—he was hurting for her. How can he look at me like that, after everything I just told him?

"Katara? Did you hear what I said?"

She gave herself a little shake. "Huh? Something about helping me, I think?"

"Yeah. The monks taught me that when you meditate, you empty your mind of distractions by focusing on how everything feels around you. Not what you're feeling inside, but how you feel the world around you. Like the way the wind brushes your face, or the sound of crickets at night. Maybe we could try something like that to help you stop thinking about bloodbending so much."

"Meditation? I suppose we can try." Katara was doubtful, but Aang was so earnest that she couldn't bring herself to shoot him down.

"Not meditation exactly, but it gave me an idea." He crossed his legs so he was sitting lotus style and reached out his hands. "Give me your hands," he said.

Katara drew back. "I'm not sure this is a good idea."

"Please try, Katara," he said. "You won't hurt me."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just know. I trust you."

Maybe you shouldn't, she wanted to say. But instead she conceded and said, "Okay. I'll try this, for you."

Katara crossed her legs to mirror Aang's pose and gingerly rested her hands in his outstretched palms. "Close your eyes," he said. "Focus on what you feel in the moment."

His hands were warm, and she imagined his blood flowing under his skin. If only she could feel it, the rhythm of his blood as it coursed through his arteries. What would it feel like, to hold his lifeblood in her hands, to take control? She only had to probe beneath his skin, go a little deeper—

"Aang, I don't think this is working," she said.

"Take a deep breath," he said. She drew in a shaky breath. "Focus on your breath. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out."

They breathed in and out together. Listening to the sound of Aang's voice, concentrating on her breath, Katara started to relax, and thoughts of bloodbending began to fade away. But once he stopped directing her, she forgot all about breathing, and the lure of bloodbending became impossible to resist. Her fingertips burned against his palms, and she started to reach inside, ever so slightly, seeking the veins that ran through his hands.

"Aang! It's not working! I can't control myself—" she said, panicking.

But instead of pulling away, Aang curled his fingers around her trembling hands. "Think about what you feel, Katara. Not what you feel with bloodbending. What do you feel—" he laced their fingers together "—with your hands? How does the floor feel against your feet? How does the air feel? Is it warm, or is it cold? Listen to yourself breathe. What does it sound like?"

"What do I feel…?" She unwound their fingers and ran her thumbs across his palms. "I feel your hands…they're really soft. The floor is hard, um, kind of rough. The air is…really warm. Humid. Maybe a little muggy."

"You're doing great! Keep going."

Eyes still closed, Katara moved her hands up and circled his wrists. His pulse bounded under her fingers. She traced the lines of the tendons where they ran from the muscles in his forearms to his wrists. No bloodbending required; she could feel all of this with just simple touch. Something inside her began to shift.

She ran her fingers over his veins, which were swollen in the hot weather, soft and supple under his skin. Her thoughts drifted again to bloodbending, but she was able to pull them back, focusing instead on what Aang's hands felt like under her fingers. Then an idea came to her. Think about chi paths, like the way you do with healing.

Katara moved to where Aang's arrow tattoos marked the back of his hands. With her eyes closed, she started to trace the chi paths in his arms. She couldn't feel his chi paths at the moment because she wasn't healing him with waterbending, so she worked from memory. She moved up his arms, scooting closer until their knees touched.

As her fingers followed where his chi paths curved around his elbows, she realized that his arrows—she had memorized their pattern, as well—matched his chi paths exactly. Excited to share her discovery with Aang, Katara opened her eyes and started to say something about his arrows, but the words quickly died on her tongue.

It was only then that she was aware of how close they were. She had moved her hands up his arms, almost all the way to his shoulders. His hands cradled her elbows. The feeling of their bare arms touching made her skin tingle, and the back of her neck prickled in a way that had nothing to do with the summer heat.

And then there was the way Aang was looking at her. His eyes were lidded, and he gazed at her with an intense longing that she had never seen from him before. Her heart beat faster and her chest felt tight, but not unpleasantly so. She blushed, suddenly feeling shy.

His lips were slightly parted, and Katara remembered what they had felt like when the two of them kissed in the lovers' cave on the way to Omashu. Soft, gentle, and a bit hesitant. It had been a brief kiss, their lips pressing together for only a moment. They were younger back then, and things were so different. It felt like a lifetime ago. She wondered what it would feel like to kiss him now.

As if reading her thoughts, Aang gently pulled her toward him. Their foreheads touched. His breath on her face was hot and uneven. She closed her eyes. After a moment of hesitation, she slowly leaned in.

A floorboard in the hallway creaked loudly.

They jumped apart, and a guilty flush spread across her face. Her heart pounded as she waited for Sokka or Toph to poke their head in. How was she going to explain why she and Aang were spending time alone in her bedroom, late at night, wearing what was essentially just their underwear? It wasn't like none of them ever saw Aang shirtless, or Katara in her chest wrap. But that was usually when they were splashing around in the water or camping outside for the night. This was different—they were in Katara's bedroom. It would be like Aang visiting her tent at night.

Katara flushed again at the thought of having Aang in her tent. It had crossed her mind before, but she never dared to entertain the idea that it might actually happen. What they were doing just now, the almost-kiss, brought fantasy a little too close to reality.

Belatedly, she scrambled to her feet and ran to the door, hoping to head the situation off at the pass. Maybe she could help whoever it was with what they needed without them coming in. That way, no one would discover Aang in her room, and the rest of the group would be none the wiser.

She stuck her head out the door and called out. "Hello? Who's there?"

There was no answer. The hallway remained dark and empty.

Katara stayed at the door for another minute just to be sure. When no one emerged from the shadows, she stepped back inside and closed the door.

"Whew. False alarm," she said, and tittered nervously. She turned around and saw that Aang was already on his feet. When their eyes met, Katara looked away, too embarrassed to make eye contact.

"I, uh, should probably get back to my room," Aang said, rubbing the back of his neck, also avoiding her gaze.

"Good idea," she said, a little too quickly. "I mean, before anyone else decides to, um, stop by."

They reached for the doorknob at the same time, and his hand brushed the top of her hand. She pulled back. Feeling self-conscious, she tried to act like she pulled her hand away to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Oh, yeah," he said, as if a thought just occurred to him. "How do you feel?"

Katara blinked. Was he really asking her about her feelings now, of all times? She had no idea how to answer that question, and the pressure of knowing someone could walk in on them at any moment wasn't helping. "Aang, I don't think this really the time for—" she began, then abruptly cut off. Oh. Right. Bloodbending.

Recovering her composure, she said, "I think I'm a lot better now. I'm not having those thoughts anymore. About bloodbending. You helped me…think about something else, instead." Her cheeks burned again. Gee, that came out kind of wrong.

Aang laughed nervously. "Uh, yeah. Glad I could help." He opened the door and gave her a wistful smile. "Good night, Katara."

"Wait!" She grabbed his wrist before he could do more than step outside. She couldn't let him go, not with this terrible awkwardness between them. "Thank you, Aang," she said, and she meant it. "You really did help me. I'm not scared of bloodbending anymore." She lifted his hand between both of hers. "See? No thoughts about bloodbending. It doesn't control me. I control it. And I'm choosing not to use it. So, thank you."

Aang broke into a grin, and Katara was gratified to see him genuinely pleased. She felt as if the pieces of their friendship were falling back into place. "You're welcome," he said. "I'm really happy that you're feeling better."

Before she let herself think too much about it, Katara leaned forward and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Good night, Aang."

This time, he was the one to blush. "Good night, Katara."

Back inside her room, Katara closed the door and leaned against it. All she could think about was how she and Aang almost kissed. Unlike their kiss in the lovers' cave, they weren't trapped in an endless labyrinth, about to run out of light, with no exit in sight. That kiss was a last resort, an attempt to escape when all other options had failed.

This time, there was no excuse. She had wanted to kiss him. He was about to kiss her, too—at least, she thought he was. But they were just friends. Well, maybe not just friends. People who were just friends didn't look at each other the way Aang looked at her, and they certainly didn't think about kissing. Or did they?

Katara thought about the boys she knew, the ones she was friends with, the ones she had crushed on. There had been only one crush—Jet—and he was just an infatuation. They had a brief fling and it ended in violence and betrayal, but at least their relationship had been clear-cut from beginning to end. They had never actually been friends.

What about Haru? He was attractive, to be sure, but they were just friends. That was about it. Katara did go to great lengths to free him and the other earthbenders from prison, but that was more out of a sense of guilt and a need to set things right more than anything else. She hadn't seen him in a while, and she hardly thought about him until now. She certainly didn't think about kissing him.

And then there was Aang. He was her first real friend, and her dearest friend. But "friend" seemed like too small a word to describe what they had. Together, they had survived impossible situations and even death itself, but they also shared countless moments of laughter and joy. He was both her rock in the storm and the sun that broke through the clouds. He was different from her in so many ways, yet he was somehow a part of her, too. Even though she remembered having a life before she met Aang, she couldn't imagine life without him now. For her, there was no one like Aang. And it wasn't because he was the Avatar.

So what did it all mean? Katara wasn't head over heels with Aang the way she was with Jet. Aang wasn't tall and dashing. He was sweet, he was much more confident than when they first met, but he was also shorter than her. Bald, too, until recently. On the other hand, he wasn't like Haru. Haru was good-looking, yet kissing Haru had never crossed her mind.

Katara sighed and rubbed her face with the palm of her hand. She had the sense that she was wrestling with a far bigger question than why she wanted to kiss Aang, but she couldn't pin down what it was. Or she could be overthinking it. They probably just got caught up in the heat of the moment. Yes, that was it. She did have her hands all over him, after all. Which wasn't how she—nor Aang, she figured—imagined their little meditation exercise would go. Just thinking about it made her blush. And as the saying goes, one thing leads to another. So it was no wonder they almost kissed—and would have kissed, probably, if they hadn't thought someone was about to walk in on them.

The lamp in her room flickered and sputtered, and Katara noticed that most of the lights in the village were already out. A hearty yawn made her jaw pop, and she rubbed her eyes. It was getting late. Time for bed. She flopped down on the mattress and hugged the pillow, feeling vaguely dissatisfied. But she was exhausted, and it felt good to lie down. She closed her eyes and was soon fast asleep.

Author's note: I accidentally left out the last few paragraphs at the end of Chapter 1 about Katara's thoughts as she processes what just happened between her and Aang, so I added those back in. They don't really change the story, but they may help make Katara's POV in Chapter 2 make more sense.