Let Our Hearts, Like Doors, Open Wide.
Leaving footprints in the snow, Alina felt Mal grasp her hands tightly, helping her across a fallen log – they balanced on while they crossed a running river. His grip like a vice, his gloved fingers warm against Alina's cold ones, intertwined together. Underneath them walked Volya, the white stag's fur and hooves brushing against the icy river, making Alina shiver. Yelizaveta laid quietly on his back, the rabbit stretching her paws lazily on Volya's back.
"Are you okay?" Mal asked Alina.
Alina nodded, a smile rising on her face,"Just Volya, the water is so cold."
Volya trotted to their side saying softly,"Sorry Alina, but there's no way I could cross that log."
"You didn't even try," Yelizaveta teased. "I'm sure you could squeeze on there if you tried!"
Volya stamped his hoof,"I'd fall!"
"You don't know if you don't try!"
"Stop it, Yelizaveta," Mal said to his dæmon.
Yelizaveta immediately obeyed, as the four of them continued to walk through the forest. The trees reaching above them, as both of them felt so small walking below them. The sky had long since grown dark, and as the four of them came closer and closer to the Fjerdian border. Mal always kept his ear pricked for the sound of Morozova's stag. The sound of it's calling was etched into his memory. Still fresh in his mind. He'd know it the moment he heard it.
Alina had listened to everything he said, had listened to the details of the stag he'd seen, knowing she'd seen the same creature. Her heart was pounding, her mind overrun with ideas of what was going to happen once they found Morozova's stag for both of them were on the run, running away from Aleksander.
His dæmon Svetlana, a bat that could travel far from him without him feeling any pain. A scary advantage he had over Mal. Alina knew she could survive with Volya far away from her. She was like Aleksander. But she was not going to risk it. She'd be taking too many chances sending Volya away from her, leaving both of them more vulnerable.
Svetlana was something Alina and Mal both had to look out for. Alina had escaped with her life on the line from the little palace, wanting to be free. Reuniting with Mal was the only good thing that seemed to have happened these past few months, and part of her wandered if he felt the same way. That he felt his heart lift with he saw her face again. If his grip of her hand meant anything, it meant that he never wanted to let her go. Alina felt the same way. She didn't want to loose him again. She wanted to run with Mal, even if it meant running to the edge of the world, she'd run, run so far away.
Mal remained silent throughout the night. Since meeting him again Alina had noticed his body was lashed with new scars. He hadn't had them back at the camp, back when she was still a map-maker. Yelizaveta had snuck some hits to Alina when Mal was distracted. Telling her about how Dubrov and Mikhael had died in a violent skirmish on past the Fjerdian border.
"It was a nightmare," The rabbit would said quietly when Mal was not in earshot."An awful nightmare."
Before Alina could ask any more questions Mal would return and they were back to silence. Left with her wondering what had happened to him. When him and two other soldiers with guns crossed the border only for one to come back alive. For an awful gunshot wound to be marked on Mal's shoulder making him groan every time he laid down wrong.
And now the two of them were crossing the border themselves, in search of Morozova's stag. The one she dreamt of that looked exactly like Volya. An elegant snow pelt, and a tall proud body, with branch like antlers stretching out to the sun. Volya and her had short conversations about her dreams, trying to understand them.
"Perhaps you were just had a dream about me." The stag said casually back in the Little Palace."
"It couldn't have been, Volya," Alina replied, stretching her arms and yawning in the bed. "It felt like something was calling me. Like something is out there, waiting for me."
"It was just a dream."
"How do I know that? It could be a vision or-"
"It's a pointless fairy tale, Alina," Volya stated plainly.
"It's no more of a fairy tale than I am," Alina muttered.
The conversation had been so brief. As moments later Genya and Nikita entered her dressing room. Genya's dæmon, a graceful butterfly, was sitting on her kefka , fluttering his wings. Alina had barely spoken to Volya about her dreams again, but the stag stayed in her memory.
The stag white like her dæmon but far larger. It's image was always in her mind at moments she least expected it, always reminding her that something was waiting for out outside the palace.
And now back with Mal, they were searching for it together.
The moon had risen high above them and both Alina and Mal were struggling to walk straight. As their weariness grew They decided to set up camp for the night, Yelizaveta helping rather sticks, with Mal, Volya and Alina. Mal and Alina pulling them up with their hands, which their dæmons did their best to kick and carry sticks into a pile. Mal carefully lit a flame, the fire keeping them warm as Alina and Mal laid against Volya, with Yelizaveta resting in Alana's laps.
Alina ran her fingers through Yelizaveta's fur, hearing Mal mumble next to her as he pressed his lips to her neck, quietly. No words escaping his lips, only his mumbles. His hand through Alina's hair, as he gently held her. He pressed a light kiss to her forehead, wanting to consume her. But he remained as silent as he could, a tingle rushed through both of them.
Alina almost expected him to protest her holding Yelizaveta, that he'd get annoyed or uncomfortable. But Mal didn't care. They were alone and they were safe. Their hearts were open to each other and each other only.
Many years ago, in the orphanage, one child had stolen Yelizaveta from Mal. Hiding her within a draw and locking her in so she couldn't get out. Mal couldn't stop crying. His sobs hysterical and wild. A mix of fear of possibly never being able to see Yelizaveta again with the pain from being separated from his dæmon was overwhelming.
You were never meant to touch another persons dæmon, and yet one child had taken it upon themselves to terrorize Mal by taking his. Hiding her.
Alina had found Mal. Crying behind a wall, shaking, with his face hidden.
"Whats wrong, Mal?" Alina asked him.
Mal continued to howl.
Alina touched Mal's shoulder and repeated,"What's wrong?"
He scarcely glanced at Alina, his teeth chattering as he mumbled,"Yelizaveta. Someone took Ye-Yelizaveta. I-I can't find her anywhere. I don't kn-know where she is."
Alina was fuming. She ripped through the orphanage. Throwing sheets out of every bed, checking every crack and corner of the orphanage, calling out for Yelizveta. She couldn't hear her, as her and Volya (who was still shape-shifting at this time) looked everywhere for her, the cries of Mal echoing in her ears.
Then Alina thought of the last place anyone in the orphanage would think of going. Ana Kuya's room the housekeeper of the orphanage. If anyone was going to hide Yelizveta they'd put her in a place where no one would think of going. Alina had picked herself into Ana Kuya's room, calling out.
"Yelizveta,"Alina hissed. "Yelizveta, are you in here?"
She creaked through the room, opening Ana Kuya's closet and tossing pages of her desk. Then she heard a whisper.
"Alina?"
It was Yelizveta's voice.
"Yelizveta!" She called out, trying not to yell.
"Alina, I'm in here!" There was a scratching on from the inside of the desk draws.
Alina had found her. She was okay.
Alina pulled on the draw, but it wouldn't budge.
"It's locked!" Yelizveta called.
Alina pulled and pulled at the draws with all her might, it remained shut. She could still hear Mal crying in her ears. She kept pulling, Volya was waiting outside keeping watch. He called out to her.
"ALINA, ANA KUYA," Volya cried.
But Alina wasn't leaving, not without Mal's dæmon. She pulled a letter opener from Ana Kuya's desk, beating at the latch on the draw, hitting and hitting with all her might, while sweat covered her hands making them slip. She growled and dug the letter opener into the keyhole. And with force, the draw pulled open. A frightened kitten, with fur sticking up, shaking inside the draw stared at her. Alina picked Yelizaveta up and pulled her out.
Then Ana Kuya came into the room to see Alina and the mess around her.
Alina tried to explain but she wouldn't listen. It was Mal who saved her, explaining what happened. She was free of punishment. That was until supper, where the moment her eyes met the child who'd taken Yelizveta, where she'd raised her fists hitting and beating them. The child left whimpering and crying, as Alina was sent to bed with an empty stomach. She didn't care. She wanted that person to know they couldn't get away with hurting Mal.
Shivering with a growling stomach in bed, Alina cuddled Volya, holding tears from her eyes.
"Alina," Mal said softly in the door way.
Alina sat up looking Mal in the eyes, her face tired and worn from the day.
"Here," Mal mumbled, holding out an apple in his hand towards Alina.
Alina's eyes widened,"Where did you-"
"Shh, eat it quickly before the others come!"
Alina quickly wolfed down the apple, so fast her chest hurt, as Mal threw the core out the window. Alina noticed she was crying. She didn't want Mal to know, she swiftly wiped her eyes as he turned around.
"Alina," Mal whispered.
"Hm?"
"Thank you for saving Yelizveta."
Alina smiled,"It was nothing. I know you'd save me if I needed you to right?"
"Of course!" Mal beamed back.
Mal never spoke much about his dæmon being taken from him. It was a secret between the children of the orphanage and only them.
But since then Mal had always been sensitive more than most people about protecting Yelizaveta. He'd once said, "I would do anything to keep Yelizaveta or Alina safe."
Though this remarks always for Volya jealous, and Mal would always add,"I'd do anything to keep Yelizaveta, Alina and Volya safe."
The stubborn stag was satisfied afterwards.
The fire continued to crackle, as a blanket covered the four of them under the star, all of them shivering slightly. Slowly Mal and Yelizaveta drifted off into sleep, and as Alina rested her head on his should she heard Volya said in her mind.
"Do you think Svetlana knows where we are?"
" I don't know ," Alina thought back.
"Do you think Mal is scared?"
"Of course he is. Mal always put on a brave face. He always is the first one to put his foot forward but in the end Mal is the same Malyen we knew as a kid. The same Malyen who'd run away and hide with us all the time. Who'd cry in a corner when people teased him. Just because he's a man now doesn't change that he's still Mal."
Volya gave a sign, his breathe rising as mist into the air.
"I hope so," Volya said in Alina's mind.
Alina stroked the stags main to comfort him.
Alina thought."We'll get through this, Volya, no matter what happens, where in this together and we're not going to give up, especially not for General Kirigan."
"I hope we find the stag soon."
"Me too."
Closing her eyes, Alina leaned into Mal and her him closely. Her and Volya's breathe slowing as both of them fell into a steady sleep. She heard the stags calls ringing in her ears.
In her dreams she chased it, feeling her light pulling to it. She would find it, she would find the stag and her and Mal would finally have ended their journey. They'd no longer fear Aleksander. They'd no longer feel their stomachs empty.
At least they hoped. The white stag was their hope, and that was the only thing Alina could believe in at this moment.