You know I couldn't not write a spec fic for 8x14. So, here it is! The title is from "I'm with You" by Vance Joy.
Hope you enjoy.
It's quiet when Hailey turns over in bed and she is a little surprised her alarm still hasn't gone off. What she isn't surprised by, though, is the fact that her partner is not asleep and he is just laying there, watching her.
"Good morning," He murmurs, adjusting his grip on her to let her turn over fully to face him, kissing her gently once she is settled.
"Morning," She hums. "How long have you been up?"
"Not long. Just thinking."
"Dangerous,"
His fingers pinch her sides lightly at her teasing, making her smile more.
"What were you thinking about?" She tilts her head up to look at him, praying that her alarm never goes off and they can stay in this little bubble of theirs all day long.
"That I want to take you out on a date," He punctuates his thought with a series of slow kisses before adding. "A real date."
He breathes out the words so simply in the silence of her bedroom that she almost does not understand what he is saying, her mind still in a haze from the early morning and from the way he is kissing her.
"Hmm?" She hums questioning, not quite able to form a real sentence.
He pulls back, just a few inches, and brushes some hair out of her face, letting his hand trace along her jaw and cup her cheek. "Go out with me. On a real date."
She chuckles warmly because it feels so strange that he would be asking her out while they are wrapped up in bed, waking up in much the same way they have been every day for the past few months.
"A real date, huh?" She asks playfully as she snuggles closer.
"Not a bar or takeout," He explains. "Real date at a real restaurant.
"Where is this coming from?" She asks in a breathy whisper, her fingers tracing nonsensical patterns on his shoulder.
She feels him shrug against her hand, his lips pursed. "I love you. And you deserve a proper date."
"Take out on the couch not cutting it anymore?" She teases, earning her an amused eye roll.
"You know I love takeout on the couch," He says. "But it's been a couple of months. I figured it was time to do the real thing. Get dressed up, go to some restaurant we totally can't afford, drink wine we can't pronounce the name of."
She has never been one for fancy dates, but she likes the idea of seeing him dressed up, just for her, taking her out for a night that is special and intimate and theirs.
"I thought we were waiting for more public dates until…"
Her voice trails off, but she knows he knows what she is thinking. With the agreement to not tell Voight about their relationship right away came the understanding that they would not be able to do all the things a normal couple would do, just to be safe. Sure, they went out together in public, but it was always somewhere that, if they ran into someone or they got called into a crime scene, they could brush it off and say it was a friendly dinner between partners.
But a fancy dinner with fancy tablecloths and fancy clothes is a little harder to brush off, leading to only casual dates, even after several months of dating.
"We'll drive out of town and bring a change of clothes," Jay suggests. "I'm just tired of not being able to do what we want because we are scared of someone finding out. I love you and I want to take you on a real date."
He never fails to amaze her with just how deeply he loves her. It's so different than anything else she has ever known and at first, it scared her, but now, it feels so right.
"Okay," She murmurs. "Real date it is then."
He kisses her again, slow and lazy, letting his hand get lost in her hair as he pulls her closer to him. They both know they only have a matter of minutes until the buzzing of her alarm interrupts them and they will have to pull themselves from this bed and get ready for work. But, when she feels his tongue swipe her bottom lip, she chooses to forget about the real world for just another minute and to focus on being here with him right now.
They catch a case early in the day, a string of violent home invasions that Robbery-Homicide has been unable to solve. From the minute they see the pictures of the other crime scenes, they all know it is going to be a long, emotionally taxing case.
All the targets are the same: nice house, normal family, average income, two or three kids.
All of the scenes are the same too: the house is torn apart, bullet holes tearing up the walls, absolute chaos with no survivors.
They know so little about the case that it seems like they are all pulling their hair out of their heads. There are so few connections between the four home robberies that it is almost difficult to call it a string of invasions. None of the families knew each other, they all worked different jobs, their children went to different schools.
The only connections they have are weak at best: two of the houses used the same security company, Patterson Security. One of the homeowners had a mob affiliation that Voight wants to run with, but Jay doesn't seem too sure.
As they hang up old crime scene photos on the whiteboard, Hailey catches a glimpse of that look in Jay's eye, the one that tells her that something is not quite right. It's subtle and most other people would not even notice it, but she knows him, knows his tells and when things are hitting a little too close to home, so she notices.
Later in the afternoon, they are the only two in the bullpen, with Kevin and Kim out interviewing potential witnesses and Adam and Voight in the back going through old pod footage. Hailey and Jay quietly work in the bullpen, pouring through old files they got from Robbery-Homicide, hoping to make some type of connection between the string of robberies when Jay gets up to get another cup of coffee, Hailey following him.
"You okay?" She whispers, leaning her back against the kitchen counter as he grabs the coffee grinds and measures out enough for a full pot of coffee. She reaches past him, grabbing the coffee pot and filling it up with water before handing it back to him.
He shoots her an appreciative smile as he nods. "Just hate cases with kids, you know?"
"I know you do." She says. "You need to talk about it?"
He shakes his head. "Not right now. Right now I just want to focus on nailing whoever did this. Maybe at home though."
It warms her heart, how casually he says home because even though they are a while away from the whole moving-in together conversation, it's pretty much a guarantee at this point that they are going home together every night.
"We'll get them," She murmurs. "Would be helpful if Robbery Homicide's files made a little more sense, but we will get them."
Jay chuckles as he grabs a mug and pours himself a cup of coffee. He nods to the pot, silently asking if she wants some too, and she shakes her head.
"Yeah, well, they lost their best detective," Jay jokes. "No wonder they aren't performing as well."
"Oh, you're something," She says under her breath as he starts to slowly make his way back to the bullpen.
She lets her hand find his lower back and while they normally are not ones for PDA at the workplace, no one is around and right now, she knows he needs the silent support. It's a difficult case and even if he is not ready to talk about it, she needs him to know that she is there for him.
"I think we should look through the security company's alibi again," He says as they walk through the door of the breakroom, headed towards his desk. "Something about it just isn't adding up."
She nods, rubbing his back quickly before he sits down and flips open a new file, talking her through a potential angle for the case. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Voight in his office again, but he seems so engrossed in a case file that she is sure he is not even paying any attention to the two detectives. Still, she takes a step back from Jay as she listens to his thoughts about the case.
It's a full day before they have another real lead and it's not exactly the lead they were hoping for.
It's another break-in.
Jay and Hailey pick up the call on the scanner while they are driving to talk to the security company that several of the families used at their houses, but by the time they get there, their offenders are long gone.
The scene looks the same as the others: nice house turned upside down, a nice family torn apart.
When Voight arrives with the rest of the team, it is clear that he is frustrated. This isn't the outcome they wanted, more blood on their hands, and he is getting antsy to close the case.
"Go back through all of the families and find the connection," Voight tells the team when they exit the crime scene. "Find a business deal gone wrong or a connection to the mob or something that ties these families together and explains why they are being targeted."
"Sarge," Jay interrupts. "I think we should keep digging into the security angle. This house used Patterson Security. Same security company as two of the other four houses. That's gotta mean something."
"Two out of four,' Voight says. "So, it's not a connection between all of them."
"Sarge, I think it's still worth-"
"It's not a clear connection though," Voight repeats, firmer this time. "So more likely it's a mob hit or some other connection we aren't seeing yet. We're on borrowed time, we don't need to be chasing-"
"I think we should keep looking into it," Hailey cuts in, causing Voight's head to swivel towards her. "There were a couple of cases from when I worked Robbery-Homicide where there was someone at the security company aiding in the robberies.
Voight eyes her, a straight look on his face she can't quite read. He is quiet for a moment and Hailey is waiting for him to completely dismiss the theory when he says, "Go talk to the security company. But make it quick. This had better be the last break-in before we get these guys."
Hailey nods and the team disperses, Hailey and Jay starting to make their way to the truck when Voight calls out her name.
"Hailey, a moment."
Hailey quietly mutters to Jay that she will meet him at the truck as she turns around to join her Sergeant, who has not moved from his spot.
"So, you've seen this in Robbery-Homicide before?"
"Once or twice," She tells him. "As ironic as it sounds, sometimes the security companies don't do as thorough a background check as they should. Both times there was someone on the inside that was getting the robbery crew the house code and turning off the cameras at the time of the robbery."
Voight hums. "It sounds like a plausible theory then."
"Yeah, it is." She agrees, a little skeptical. She can tell Voight is acting strange, but she can't quite tell why. "And I'm sure if there is some real connection, there's a good explanation for why the other houses were targeted too."
Voight simply nods at her words, his face never changing. "That the reason you agreed with Jay even though I said to run a different angle? You thought it was a good theory based on your experience?"
Hailey furrows her brow at him. "Sarge, I'm not quite sure what you're asking."
In all honesty, she is pretty sure what he is asking. But it's not particularly a conversation she was hoping to have out in the middle of a crime scene.
"I'm just making sure you actually believe in this theory based on your judgment as a cop. Because this is the first I'm hearing of it from you, despite you being the one with experience in Robbery-Homicide."
"I don't know what you want me to say, Sarge."
"Hailey, I have no interest in having this conversation," Voight leans forward a little. "But here I go."
Hailey clenches her fist a little and stands still, waiting for the inevitable question.
"You and Jay. Are you a thing?"
"Does it matter?" Her face tightens up a little as she bites out the question, not sure of what else to say. She knew they eventually would be having this conversation, but this is not the way she envisioned it. Not in the field, not with Voight angry, and most certainly not without Jay.
"If it affects how you police it matters. It sure as hell matters."
"Sarge, with all due respect," She says a little harsher than she intended. "There is a violent criminal out there. I don't think the status of my and Jay's relationship is as important as that."
It's a bold move, flat out avoiding his question, but she thinks it's her best one. Because she doesn't want to make a different move without Jay there and she does not want to do something that could potentially negatively affect him.
"You know what?" Voight hums gruffly. "You and Jay go talk to the security company. You have until the end of the case to decide what exactly is the status of your relationship."
The tone of his voice is clear: when the case is over, they will be revisiting this conversation and the conversation won't be a fun one.
"Got it, boss," She says quickly before turning around and making her way to the truck, trying to hide the obvious anger that is written all over her face.
"Everything okay?" Jay asks as she hops into the truck, concern in his voice.
"Yeah," Hailey tells him. "Just talking over the theory. He was asking about my old Robbery-Homicide cases."
It's not quite a lie, but it's not quite the truth and she feels bad for not being honest with him, but right now, she is more focused on protecting him. She knows if she tells him what actually happened, that Voight practically called her out in the field and accused her of only siding with Jay because she was sleeping with him, Jay would be spitting mad and probably say or do something stupid.
She also knows it would force them to have the inevitable conversation of how they move forward and right now, she honestly doesn't have an answer to that question that completely works out for both of them.
He opens his mouth to speak and it looks like he is going to call her out, but he closes his mouth and just starts the truck. The way he tightens his jaw and sets his eyes on the road, instead of glancing at her every now and then like he normally does, it makes her feel even worse, but for right now, she tells herself it's better. She can figure this out without jeopardizing both of their jobs.
The drive to the security company is uncharacteristically quiet and Hailey does not like it at all.
For the rest of the case, her head is not quite on straight. She does her job, she does it well, but the whole time there is a little voice in the back of her head.
Sometimes it sounds like Voight and it is asking her if she and Jay are a thing. And after it asks that question, it is yelling at her, telling her that a romance between his two detectives will not be tolerated, explaining that their relationship is going to affect the way she polices.
And other times, it sounds like Jay, saying they will figure this out, telling her that he will go where she goes.
But most of the time, the voice sounds like hers and it is telling her she needs to fix this, she needs to protect her relationship with Jay and she needs to protect Jay's career.
She knew when she turned down the job offer at the FBI, when she told him it had been a while since she saw him as just her partner, that eventually if one of them needed to leave Intelligence, it was going to be her. Because he's the one who has been in this unit for eight years and he is the one that is on the path to being a Sergeant, to turning this unit into his own.
But she still chose to be with him, knowing eventually, it would affect her job in Intelligence. She loved him, though, even back then when she couldn't verbalize it, and she knew he was more important to her than any job.
That's why she decides she is going to go to Voight, alone, and tell him to do whatever the hell he wants, but to only do it to her. Give her a new partner, transfer her out of the unit, write her up for not reporting her relationship, she does not care. But do it to only her. Leave Jay out of it.
She will go to Voight so she would take the hit, her and her alone. She does not want anything to potentially affect Jay's career in Intelligence and his becoming a Sergeant one day. He deserves this, he was born for this, and damn if their relationship is going to be the thing that holds him back.
When they wrap the case, Hailey finds herself in the locker room, alone, trying to work up the courage to walk into Voight's office and have the conversation she has been dreading. The case was long and they did not see eye to eye for most of it, which did not help. The security angle did not end up panning out and it ended up being a mob hit like Voight thought. Normally, Hailey would not feel so bad for running with the wrong angle: it happens. But this time, it only gave Voight more to be angry at her about.
She rests her head against the cool metal of her closed locker, running through what she is going to say to Voight one more time in her head when she heads a soft knock against the door frame of the locker room. She closes her eyes and lets out a small groan, assuming it's Jay who has finally had enough of her pulling away from him this entire case and wants to talk about what is eating away at her.
"Nice to see you too Goldilocks," Platt chuckles, causing Hailey's head to snap up.
"Sarge," Hailey awkwardly says, trying to regain her composure. "Is there something you need?"
"I was looking for you actually," Platt tells her as she comes to sit on one of the benches on the other side of the locker room. "Halstead said you were in here."
"Everything okay?" Hailey asks as she turns to lean her right side against the locker.
"I think I should be the one asking you that," Platt chuckles, eyeing Hailey knowingly.
"Were you looking for me or did someone send you in here to talk to me?"
"I don't know what you are referring to," Trudy says plainly. "What I do know is that there was some tension during this case."
Like most cases, Platt popped in every now and then to give the team updates on warrants or the information patrol was able to gather. Hailey was sure it only took the older woman a matter of minutes to notice the visible tension between Hailey and Voight.
"Voight say something to you?" Hailey asks with a sigh.
"He didn't need to. I know you two. Question is, what did you do to piss him off?"
Hailey lets out a low breath as she comes to sit down on the bench next to her, facing Platt. She opens her mouth to explain, but she can't seem to find the words. Just as she thinks she is about to come up with something, Trudy cuts her off.
"Look, I know you've had a history of crossing lines," Platt says. "But something tells me that isn't why Voight is pissed."
Hailey lets out a sardonic laugh, continually amazed at how nothing gets past this woman. "Didn't cross any lines this time."
"So, you and Jay then?"
Hailey raises a brow in surprise, although she thinks to herself that she should have expected this. "You know?"
"Hailey, you would be amazed how much I know. I knew before either of you knew."
In any other situation, Hailey would laugh at the woman's words, but right now, the anxiety still has a firm hold on Hailey's mind. "Voight asked me if we were a thing. I sided with Jay while we were in the field and Voight pulled me aside and called me out. Said I have until the end of the case to figure out the status of our relationship."
"Did you figure it out?"
"I'm gonna go to Voight and tell him to make the change for me. Give me a new partner or transfer me to another unit."
"Just you?" Trudy asks and it does not sound like one of those conversations where Trudy is just messing with her. She seems genuinely concerned.
"Just me," Hailey confirms softly.
"You know, Hailey," Platt says. "I remember having a similar conversation to this a few years ago. You remember what I told you?"
Those words Platt told her a few years ago have been rattling in her head for months. They are part of the reason she is doing what she is doing, why she is doing it alone.
"That if Adam was the one to make it work, but that one of us would need to get out of Intelligence. And that if neither of us was willing to make the sacrifice, it wasn't the real thing."
"Is that why you're doing this?"
With Adam, it wasn't real, so Hailey wasn't willing to make the sacrifice. But with Jay, it's a different story. She went into this knowing she would have to make a sacrifice and not caring. She wanted him more than she wanted her spot in Intelligence, so the choice was obvious.
"We got together after my FBI job offer," Hailey says with a small chuckle. "I gave up this really amazing job offer for a lot of reasons, but he was one of them. I knew I was better here. But I also knew that by staying here and choosing to be with him, I would be giving up my spot in Intelligence. Because he is going to become Sergeant one day and he is going to take over the unit and I can't mess that up for him."
"Are you scared he'll resent you?"
Hailey shakes her head. She knows Jay would never resent her, it's not who he is. He'll probably have more of a problem with what she is doing right now than if she messed things up for him, but honestly, she doesn't care.
"You said when someone is the one, you are willing to make a sacrifice," Hailey says softly. "So, I'm making the sacrifice."
It's still early and they have a long time before they even start having the conversation about marriage, but Hailey knows he is it for her. She knew right from the first kiss that this is what she wanted forever, even if she wasn't ready to say it.
But he's the one. So, she's making the sacrifice so he can do what he is meant to do. So they can preserve their personal relationship at the cost of their professional one. So she does not lose him entirely.
"Seems like that advice stuck with you," Platt hums and Hailey gives her a small nod. "Can I give you some more advice? See if maybe I can outdo myself from two years ago."
"Sure."
"When you find the one," Platt starts. "You're not on your own anymore. Even if you have always been independent and figured things out on your own, that's not how it works anymore. And you can't make decisions that affect both of you on your own. Sometimes you have to stop fighting and be willing to let them make a sacrifice for you too."
Platt's words hit her like a ton of bricks and it's probably because they are the truth that Hailey has been trying to avoid for the past two days. This isn't something she can magically fix, no matter how much she wants to. Sure, she can easily walk into Voight's office and tell him to transfer her. It's the easy thing to do and it's what Hailey would normally do.
But, when you are in a relationship, you don't do the thing that is easy. You don't figure things out on your own. You lean on the other person and you figure things out together.
She told Jay a few weeks ago that she wanted to learn how to do this relationship thing with him and that is what she has been trying to do. Lean on him and trust him, even though every fiber in her being tells her that it is dangerous to trust someone else. She never learned to trust during her childhood, but with Jay, she is learning. She is learning that she is not all on her own.
And she knows that going into Voight's office alone, fixing this all by herself, it's not the thing she promised Jay she wanted to do. It's not her being better.
"I don't want to mess up his becoming a Sergeant," Hailey says in a small voice.
"What about you, Hailey?" Trudy asks. "You think Jay wants you ruining your career and your chances of becoming a Sergeant one day? You think he hasn't been worried for the past however many months about how this all will affect you?"
Honestly, she hasn't. She has thought about how much she wants to protect him through all of this, but she has not thought about how much he probably wants to protect her as well. The idea of him doing something to protect her at his own expense, it hurts her and it is not what she would want him to do.
And she knows it is not what he would want her to do either.
"So, what do I do?" Hailey finally asks. "Because I can't lie to Voight and I doubt he continues to let us work together? And we're not ending our relationship."
Platt shakes her head. "I can't answer that for you, Hailey. But I can tell you, I don't think I am the person you should be having this conversation with."
With that, Platt stands up, making her way over to Hailey and placing her hand on the Detective's shoulder, and saying gently, "If it's any consolation, I'm rooting for you two."
Her words ring in Hailey's ears as the older officer gives her shoulder one final pat and she walks off, leaving Hailey alone in the locker room.
Hailey was all ready to go into Voight's office. To tell him to do whatever the hell he wanted with her and her career, but that he needed to spare Jay. She was ready to put it all on the line.
And now, she knows that isn't what she is supposed to do.
With a groan, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone, shooting Jay a quick text before putting her phone back. She doesn't want to stare at his three little typing dots as she anxiously waits for him to respond, so she instead turns on the bench so she is facing the blue row of lockers and studies the details of the metal doors.
It doesn't take long before she hears footsteps again and this time, she knows it is Jay. He has a concerned look all over his face as he comes into the locker room, closing the door behind him as he quickly makes his way over to the bench where she is sitting. He straddles the bench so his chest is facing her side and she tilts her head so she can see him better.
"You said you wanted to talk?" He asks. "What's wrong?"
Hailey lets out a sigh. Here goes nothing. "You have to promise not to be mad at me."
"Hailey," He says gently, the sweet way he always says her name calming her down a little. "You know I could never be mad at you. Just talk to me."
"You know yesterday how Voight pulled me aside at the crime scene and I told you he just asked me about some of my old Robbery-Homicide cases?" Hailey pauses, waiting for Jay to nod before she continues. "I kinda lied."
"Yeah, I knew that."
She looks at him, eyes wide, and he lets out a small chuckle as he shakes his head. "Hailey, I know you. I know when you're lying to me. And I knew you would tell me when you were ready so I didn't push it."
"And you're not mad?"
He leans forward to kiss her forehead, his chest bumping against her shoulder as he does so. "I mean, I would obviously rather you tell me the truth. But I get that you sometimes need your space. And we're talking about it now, aren't we?"
She will never understand the level of patience this man has for her. In the past, when she continued to push people away, they would have run. But not Jay. No matter how hard she pushes or how many times she pulls away, he is still there.
"Voight asked me if we were together." She says in a quiet voice, watching as his facial expressions change, a mixture of surprise and masked frustration.
"What did you say?"
"I asked him if it really mattered. To which he said it did and that I had until the end of the case to decide the status of our relationship."
Jay leans back a bit on the bench. "What does that mean?"
She can see the immediate worry build in Jay's face and she reaches out to place her hand on his thigh. "I'm not breaking up with you if that's what you're worried about."
The tension in his jaw visibly releases at her words and she quickly rubs his thigh, removing her hand before continuing. "Ever since yesterday I was trying to figure out what I was going to tell Voight. That's why I have been acting so distant. And I thought I had my mind made up, but then I talked to Trudy a few minutes ago and she made me rethink things."
"What do you mean?"
The nervous tension is rising in her throat again, but she just focuses on his eyes, on the gentle way he is looking at her to ground her. "I was going to go to Voight and tell him to give me a new partner. Or to transfer me out. Or do whatever he wanted as long as it didn't affect you."
"Hailey-"
"I know," She cuts him off. "I know, but it's just that you are supposed to take over the unit. We both know it, Jay. And I didn't want to jeopardize that for you."
"Hailey," He says softly. "I appreciate that, but I don't want you to make that kind of sacrifice for me."
"It wasn't even a decision though," Hailey tells him. "I knew when we got together that eventually one of us was going to have to leave Intelligence and that it was going to have to be me because Voight wanted you to take over the unit. And I didn't care. Because I just wanted you. You're more important than any job, Jay."
They normally are not ones for PDA at work, but the door is closed and they have already been found out, so she does not argue when he leans forward again and tilts her face so it is completely facing him, kissing her gently.
"I love you, you know that?" He whispers. "But you are way more important than any job for me. So, I'm not letting you go to Voight alone."
"Jay-"
"Do you remember when Kelton got elected Mayor?"
His question surprises her and it takes her a second to register what he is asking. She leans back and she studies his face and he appears calm, collected and eventually, she just nods, not sure where he is going with this.
"Do you remember what you said to me? When we were in the breakroom and we thought we were going to get split up?"
She shakes her head. "No, not really."
"You said that we had only been partners for a few years and that I would forget about you just fine."
His hand finds hers in her lap and he tangles their fingers together as he gazes at her. "Surprise, but I didn't forget about you. Not even close."
She doesn't remember much from that conversation besides the despair on his face. She vaguely remembers them talking about what would happen if they got broken up and that he had a look in his eye that he wanted to say more, but he didn't. What she clearly remembers, though, is that the conversation ended with her assuring him that they would be alright.
They were. More than alright.
"Guess everything turned out okay," She says with a soft chuckle.
"Because we've always been good together," He continues, his eyes still glued on her. "When you turned down your job offer from the FBI, you said that you were better with me as your partner. But that isn't one-sided. I'm better with you as my partner. Always have been. And partners don't just let their partner do something like this on their own."
"I know," She whispers, resting her free hand on their conjoined hands that still rest in her lap. "I realized that I can't make this decision by myself. It's not fair as your partner...and it's not what you do when you love someone. I don't have to figure this out all on my own."
He leans forward, resting his forehead against hers. "You are never going to have to figure something out all on your own again. I promise. I am always here for you."
"So, what do we do?"
He leans back an inch. "I think we should be honest with Voight. Let him decide what happens with our partnership. Let the chips fall where they may."
"And if he transfers one of us out?" Hailey questions. "Or he splits us up."
"Then we deal with it together," Jay gives her hand a squeeze. "But at least this way, it's us making this decision together."
"I just thought if I did it alone, I could keep you safe from getting in trouble or something. I thought I could keep our relationship safe."
"I know," He whispers and she can tell he is not mad, even though she was about to make this big decision that affected him as much as it affected her. "And I love how much you want to protect me. But I need you to be okay with me wanting to keep you safe too."
Safety hasn't been a luxury she has been afforded much in her life. She wasn't safe as a kid, plain and simple, and since then, it was always on Hailey to keep herself safe in every sense of the word. But, then there is Jay, who continues to choose to protect her. He protects her heart and her feelings and now, he is trying to protect her career.
"We knew what we were getting into when we decided to start dating," Jay continues. "We knew the odds of us being able to be partners forever was slim, but neither of us cared. So, whatever happens, happens. But you and I are going to be fine."
"I know we are," She leans forward to rest the side of her head against his shoulder, his lips pressing a soft kiss to the crown of her head as it settles. "It just sucks."
"I know. I don't like the idea of us not being partners either."
"Who is going to keep you safe? Who is gonna keep you from getting yourself shot?"
This gets him to chuckle and her head bobs a bit as he laughs. She cranes her neck up to see him and he is rolling his eyes, but it is clear he is anything but annoyed.
"You are pretty good at keeping me in line." He murmurs. "I feel like Voight might keep us partnered together just for that."
"I get why he would split us up though," Hailey sits up straight again, catching his eyes with hers. "I mean it's hard to be objective when it's the person you love who is in danger."
As a cop, it's her job to keep the city safe, but as his girlfriend, she just wants to keep him safe, and sometimes, it is hard to find the balance. She gets why there are rules in place against in-house dating, she really does, but it does not mean she likes it.
"I've always worried about you," Jay says. "Not because I didn't think you could do your job. Because I know you can, but I've just always been worried because I cared. But now that we're together…"
"It's harder?" Her voice picks up when he trails off and he nods.
"I just don't want anything to happen to you."
"I know. I get that it's different now," Hailey says softly. "I mean, we've done a good job at showing Voight we can be professional and that we can maintain some sense of objectivity, even though it's harder now. Maybe he will see that and honor that. And maybe he won't."
"But either way, we are doing this together?" Jay offers.
She squeezes their still joined hands. "We're doing this together."
So, they go to Voight together. They tell him that they have been dating for several months. They explain that they have been able to separate the personal and the professional and they believe that they can continue to do it if he will allow them. But ultimately, they tell him it's his call. He can split them up or he can transfer one of them out, but the two of them will not be changing their personal relationship in any sense.
They leave their professional relationship in Voight's hands because they know no matter what, their personal relationship will be just fine.
When they walk out of Voight's office, Hailey feels the anxiety disappear for the first time in the past two days. Voight told them he would take a day or two to think about it and let them know, leaving them in a strange limbo until then. But Hailey can't find it in herself to stress over it because the way Jay shoots a sweet smile to her as they walk out of the precinct and towards the parking lot reminds her they are okay.
"We should go out tonight," Jay's voice stops her in her tracks in the parking lot. She turns around to face him, shooting him a confused look.
"Like to Molly's?"
He shakes his head and takes a step closer to her. "No, like on our date. We don't have to hide anymore. So, let's go out."
She smiles and lets her hand graze against his, her pointer finger interlocking with his, not caring who sees. "Let's go out then."
Hailey chuckles when she hears a knock at her door because when Jay said he would pick her up at her place in an hour, he really meant an hour exactly. She gives herself one last look in the mirror, quickly wiping her thumb across her lower lip to fix her lipstick before she turns off the light in the bathroom and goes to open the door.
When she opens the door, her jaw drops, because he is standing there in a jacket she has never seen holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
"You've been busy," She hums, taking a moment to fully appreciate how he looks right now. She has seen him in his dress blues and she has seen him in a suit for court, but she has never seen him in a button-down shirt and nice pants just for her and something about that last detail makes him all the more handsome.
"Couldn't go on a real date and not bring you flowers," He cocks his head with a charming smile.
"Do I even want to ask how you managed to get dressed up, get flowers and get a reservation all in an hour?" She chuckles as he hands her the flowers.
"Let's just say I am a man of many talents," He murmurs and she can't help the small giggles that escape her lips as he raises his eyebrow knowingly.
"Yeah, yeah," She tuts and she turns to find something to put the flowers in so they can go, but he grabs her wrist gently before she is able to.
He pulls her back to him and just stares at her for a moment, a soft smile on his face. "You look beautiful."
She can feel the heat rise in her cheeks and she doesn't understand how, after this many months, he can say just a few words and still have this effect on her, but it happens, nonetheless.
"Well, you don't look too bad either, mister."
It's quite obvious the way his eyes glance between her eyes and her lips and the way his hand slowly makes its way from her wrist to her waist, getting lost underneath her leather jacket and rubbing patterns against the fabric of her shirt. There's something dangerous about the way he is looking at her right now and she reluctantly takes a step back, because she knows if she doesn't, they will never leave this apartment.
Not that she particularly wants to. Fancy dinners are not really her thing, but they finally don't have to hide. The idea of being able to hold his hand in public, to kiss him in the truck without fear of being caught, that in itself is enough reason to leave this apartment.
"I'm going to put these in something and then we can go, okay?"
He nods, not moving from his spot in the doorway as she slips into the kitchen. It is not lost on her that his eyes never leave her as she moves about the kitchen as tries to find something that can act as a makeshift vase. Every now and then, she glances up at him to shoot him a smile, a warm feeling filling her belly when he shoots her one back.
"Ready?" She asks after she finds a mason jar that will work to keep the flowers alive until she can invest in a proper vase. He nods quickly, reaching out his hand as she walks over to him, intertwining their fingers once she is close enough.
"Absolutely."
He tugs on her hand and pulls her out of her apartment, just like so many other times where they have left the apartment hand in hand, but this time it feels different. It feels lighter, new almost, because they are out in the open and they can finally just be them.
The drive is quiet. They don't talk about what Voight might do with them and they don't wonder what the next day is going to be like at work. Instead, their intertwined hands rest against his thigh and whenever they stop at a red light, one of them leans against the center console to give the other a quick kiss.
When he parks the truck, they sit in silence for a moment. She knows it shouldn't be a big deal, walking out of this truck into the restaurant, but it feels like it is. Like they are walking out of their safe little bubble and accepting that after this, their relationship won't be a secret anymore. And them being in the open might affect their partnership and even their spots in Intelligence.
She can see it in his eyes, he is having the same thoughts rushing through his head and she turns in her seat, squeezing her hand against his.
"Do you wish we didn't have to tell Voight?" She asks him quietly.
"No," His answer is quick and sure as he turns in the driver's seat, his body facing hers. "I'm tired of hiding this, so I'm happy we said something."
"Me too."
"You sure you want to do this?"
"Yeah, I'm sure." She nods at him with a smile. "I love you."
"I love you too."
He does not waste any time leaning forward across the center console, his left hand finding its way to her hair and pushing it out of her face. His fingers get lost in her blonde locks as he cradles her head and she presses herself against the console as she feels his tongue swipe her bottom lip, hungry for more.
The kiss feels fast and desperate and maybe it's because they are finally free. They have never held back in their feelings for each other, but this kiss, it feels fearless. She holds his shirt tight, pulling him closer to her and he does the same with the hand in her hair as they both let themselves get lost in this moment.
They are both breathless when he pulls away, reluctantly, and she has to use every ounce of self-control she has to not chase his lips with hers. He must see the disappointment in her eyes because he tilts her head to press a chaste kiss to her cheek, holding her face in both of his hands.
"As much as I would like to continue this, I believe I owe you a real date."
"Later then?" She whispers, earning an amused chuckle from him.
"Oh, definitely."
He leans back and they both take a second to compose themselves so it is not glaringly obvious to everyone they see on the sidewalk what they were up to in the truck. He straightens his jacket collar and she flips down the car visor, sliding over the mirror and wiping off the smudged lipstick and running a hand through her now messy hair.
She turns to look at him and smiles when she sees a little bit of red on his lips that was not there before. She leans forward, her thumb grazing his lips, catching him off guard.
"You had a little something," She whispers and he smiles and it is almost enough for her to lean forward and kiss him again, effectively undoing their attempt at looking presentable, but she resists.
"Thanks," He whispers, grabbing her hand as she removes it from his face and pressing a quick kiss to her palm.
"You ready?" He asks as he lowers her hand and grasps it in his larger one.
She knows he is asking if she is ready to leave this truck and go get dinner, but if she lets things slow down, it almost sounds like he is asking if she is ready to take this next step. Is she ready for everyone to know about their relationship? Is she ready to deal with whatever the repercussions are at work? Is she ready to continue making their personal relationship work when everything is about to change?
"Yeah. I'm ready."
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