Summary:

Asta unknowingly writes the most popular series in the kingdom, chaos ensues (when does chaos not ensue is the question).

Notes:

...I promise my other works are gonna get done...
Anyway,
This is gonna be a short (eh, well) five-chapter story with a silly premise.

We love Asta in this house.

Other ships: YamiJack, Magna/Luck/Fragil, Zorsch, Noelle/Kahono, plus platonic relationships

SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA! CANON DIVERGENT POST-SPADE ARC

Crooked Teeth

By:

IAmStoryteller

Chapter 1: The Common Realm Monthly Literary Magazine

Vanessa sighed as she entered Asta's room. Since the majority of the squad were on missions, only Vanessa, Henry and Nacht were at the base. As such, Captain Yami ordered everyone at the base to clean and do laundry while the others were working. Captain Yami was still confined to the infirmary back in Capital City since he and William Vangeance were rescued several months ago. Captain Yami was still a lazy pest from all the way there.

Normally, Vanessa avoided chores like the plague. Unfortunately, Henry was busy making modifications to the base. Of course, Nacht sneered at Captain Yami's command and disappeared, but he'll be back by dinner, Vanessa was making roasted garlic chicken for dinner and double-chocolate chunk brownies for dessert and that skinny twig of a Vice-Captain liked to eat, surprisingly. Thus, they left Vanessa by herself to do the chores.

And her squadmates were working very hard, so if she had to do the chores Asta normally did, so be it. Thankfully, since Asta moved into the base, the place had been very clean and it was easy to maintain that cleanliness. She finished cleaning the bathrooms, the kitchen, the living area, and now her last task was laundry. Everyone was in charge of keeping their own rooms clean, but she was just fetching any clothes in the hamper.

Asta's room was spotless. His Father Orsi and Sister Lily really taught him well. He'd be a great husband to someone someday.

Asta only had like three outfits (all the same) and one set of very nice clothes that Noelle bought him for Finral's wedding, the one that actually didn't take place. Vanessa pulled the dirty clothes and put it in the basket she carried. Then, something caught her eye—papers on Asta's desk.

It must be a letter for his family in Hage.

Vanessa put the basket down and went over to see if it was done because then she'd mail it for him.

It wasn't a letter.

"He's writing a book," Vanessa said, incredulously. She picked up the first paper. Asta's handwriting was atrocious but Vanessa's own handwriting wasn't any better so she was able to read his chicken-scratch. Knowing that this was a breach of Asta's privacy, she only meant to quickly sate her curiosity and go back to laundry duty.

She read:

Chapter 1 – Maris the Forsaken

Maris Lyric lived in the quiet town of Halston at the edge of the Kingdom of Stars in the orphanage at the local church. She was a short girl of ten years, but she was fiercer than anyone, even her amazingly talented and handsome best friend Malo Seeley. Maris constantly had to prove herself to everyone, even the people she called family because she had no magic.

Vanessa gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh, Asta." Her eyes watered out of her love and fondness for Asta. If anyone who didn't know Asta read this, they wouldn't know that he was manifesting his own life-story in this fictional character.

She continued reading:

Having no magic in the Kingdom of Stars was considered a devil's curse. Magic was everything in this world. Those blessed high-stores of mana (magical energy) were considered God's chosen champions of justice and light. All of whom joined the illustrious Star Knights, the military defense force of the Kingdom of Stars, to protect the people and serve for the greater good.

Maris wanted to become a Star Knight to reach her ultimate goal—to become the Star Emperor, the leader of the Star Knights, and the strongest mage in the land.

This is Maris's story of how she became the Star Emperor and changed the world for the better.

Vanessa didn't dare continue reading, lest she gets more emotional. She placed the first page back on his neatly arranged pile. She picked up her basket and went to finish the Black Bulls' laundry.

But she thought of the story Asta wrote throughout the day, even during dinner, she didn't rise to Nacht's tetchy comments. When Nacht went off to bed (presumably) and Henry bid her goodnight, Vanessa intended to have a small drink and then head to bed herself.

Except, she didn't.

She went back to Asta's room and took the papers that were "Chapter 1" of Asta's story back to her room. She sat at her rarely used desk and pulled out stationary. She very carefully and very neatly copied Asta's "Chapter 1." The world needed to read Asta's story and she knew exactly what she needed to do. Asta will forgive her.

Once she finished copying it, she returned the originals to Asta's desk, and then, she went to Magna's room. Many didn't realize that Magna liked reading and subscribed to several magazines and Vanessa knew one was a literary magazine that had calls for submissions. She grabbed one of Magna's copies of the magazine.

She read the instructions for submissions and realized that she needed to give Asta a pen name. She grinned to herself as she filled out the letter. It was a good name. She also requested that any payments be sent to the Hage Village Church's orphanage.

With any luck, Asta's story would get published a couple of times and get Asta's sweet family some extra money.

Several months later…

Fragil Tormenta really regretted visiting home during her two days off. She had forgotten how annoying her younger brothers could be and how much her widow mother wanted Fragil to get married as soon as possible. She sat in her family breakfast room, eating the big breakfast meal cooked by the Tormenta family staff when the Chief of Staff came in with the mail.

"My Lady, your copy of the Common Realm Monthly Literary Magazine has arrived," said the stoic man who had watched over Fragil and her brothers as children with a critical eye.

Lady Grace Tormenta squealed in delight, snatching the magazine out of the Chief of Staff's hands. "Oh, wonderful! I've been waiting so patiently!"

Fragil gave her mother a worried look. Since when did her mother subscribe to a Common Realm magazine when it was her mother that often looked down on non-nobility? Fragil looked to her other brothers, Frey and Dew, who were busy rolling their eyes and scoffing. Knowing that her brothers were no help, Fragil asked, "Mother, have you found something good to read?"

Lady Grace gasped. "Have you not heard? Darling, you're working far too much! Yes, Star Knights is all the rage these days."

Fragil sighed, already regretting asking, "What's Star Knights?"

"I wouldn't do it justice. Anthony, get Fragil my back copies," said Lady Grace, quite adamant.

And thus, Fragil found herself at the breakfast table of her family house, reading back issues of a story that her mother was so invested in reading. Fragil read, eyes widening with every chapter. She glanced at her mother, who was delving into the latest chapter with gusto.

The one thing that stuck out in Star Knights was the obvious inspiration behind it. Fragil didn't know Asta very well, but she knew that he was a great guy and that Captain Rill adored Asta. Whoever wrote this story had to have heard of Asta, or at least about the Anti-Magic Black Bull who saved everyone from the devils months ago. She wondered if the Black Bulls knew that their favorite rookie had a serial in a literary magazine based on his life.

"This is just so heartfelt," said Lady Grace, sniffling. "Poor Maris just never catches a break! Her arms were cursed after her team finally became true comrades in battle."

Fragil's mouth opened a little bit.

How did the author know that Asta's arms had been damaged after the Black Bulls' mission to the Underwater Kingdom? Biting her bottom lip, she stood up. "Well, this was fabulous, Mother, would you mind if I borrowed the back copies to share with my squadmates?"

"Go ahead, my darling. Ship them back to me when you're all done," said Lady Grace, absentmindedly, clearly still disturbed with the latest chapter.

"Thanks. I'm gonna head back," said Fragil. "Is Miss Arella on today?"

"Yes, dear, have her make a transportation portal for you," said Lady Grace. She said, "I'm gonna read it again!"

Fragil left her mother. She went to her room, grabbed her overnight bag, and stuffed the magazines inside it, and then, she headed out to the front hall of the Tormenta family house where she founded Miss Arella, the Tormenta family special wizard, who also was the doorwoman. "Miss Arella, would you do me a favor and open a portal to the Black Bulls' base?"

Miss Arella was a slightly older woman, with gray hair and green eyes. "Yes, Lady Fragil. What are the coordinates?"

Fragil gave the last known coordinates of the moving Black Bulls' base, which she knew because she visited with Captain Rill last week when her Captain wanted to drop a painting off for Miss Charmy, despite Fragil telling him that Miss Charmy was not interested in him. When Miss Arella opened the portal, Fragil stepped through it without hesitation and immediately crashed into Luck Voltia, who had been shoved by Magna and caught off balance for once.

"Woah! Fragil! You okay," asked Magna.

"Fine, I'm fine, sorry, Luck, Magna," said Fragil. She helped Luck stand up. "Are you okay, Luck?"

"I'm fine! Oh, Rill isn't here today. Hey, do you wanna spar?"

"Uhh, not right now," said Fragil, awkwardly. She always felt bad for denying Luck's spar requests, but she just couldn't compete with him in a straightforward battle. "I actually was hoping that Asta was here."

"Little Rasta is training with Liebe and Nero," explained Magna. "What's up?"

Fragil figured that they'd all find out eventually and pulled out one of the back-copies she borrowed from her mother. "I don't know how to break it to you, but someone is using Asta as a basis for a serial in this magazine. I figured he wouldn't mind, but they know some things that civilians shouldn't know, like about Asta's injuries and things like that…"

Magna laughed. "Yeah, we know about it, but we haven't told Asta. Don't need him to get a big head."

"Or be embarrassed. And it's not like the Shrimp has time to read anyway," said Zora, stepping out of the Black Bulls' base, looking as menacing as ever. Fragil knew he was a good guy but he was very intimidating. "Magna, Luck, it's your goddamn turn to do the dishes. Charmy will be back with groceries soon."

"Ugh," groaned Magna and Luck.

"Well, if it's not a problem," Fragil said, hesitating. "It's just really suspicious is all…"

"You're really nice to be worried about Asta like that," said Luck, simply. He grinned maniacally. "But we'll protect him from anyone that wants to hurt him."

She knew that. The Black Bulls were very defensive of each other, especially Asta and Noelle.

Fragil sighed in relief. "Well, that's good. Sorry to bother you. I'd better get back to Aqua Deer."

"Why aren't the dishes done," screeched Charmy, rushing outside. "Magna, Luck, if you wanna eat, then do your chores!"

Finral followed Charmy, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, which explained that Charmy came out of a portal opened by Finral. "Sorry, she nearly got into a fight with some of the moms at the market. Oh, Lady Fragil! Welcome! Feel free to join us for lunch."

"Yeah, yeah," said Charmy. "You're too small. I'll feed you. And you tell little Rill that he needs to stop sending me gifts. My heart belongs to another!"

"Yeah, your stomach, half-pint," said Zora. He rolled his eyes. "Brave this madhouse if you want, Tormenta."

Fragil giggled. "Sure, I'll stay for lunch."

Kirsch sat at his desk in his office working on paperwork that needed to be submitted to the Wizard King because Captain Dorothy forgot to tell him that certain things were due at the last Captains' Meeting. He hated being behind in paperwork. He'd rather be spending the time training or doing anything else actually.

"Vice-Captain," said Levi Roe, 1st Class Senior Magic Knight, entering Kirsch's office. He asked, "Can you please tell Rick and the others to stop picking on the rookies?"

Kirsch sighed. "What is this time? You people are going to give beautiful me wrinkles and gray hair."

Levi crossed his arms. One of the commoners in the Coral Peacocks, Levi and Kirsch hadn't seen eye-to-eye until Kirsch had a change of heart after his defeat by the hands of Asta, Mimosa, and Zora in the Royal Knights' Exams. Levi said, "The rookies are super into this serial in a magazine and it's been distracting them from training."

"How distracting," Kirsch asked.

"Mainly that they're talking plot points and characters while training, so not too bad," said Levi. "But some people decided to use their rank and confiscate the rookies' magazines."

"You have a higher rank than all of them," said Kirsch.

"But I'm still a commoner, dumbass Vice-Captain. If I told them to knock it off using the fact that I'm their superior officer, they'd still pull class on me," Levi snapped. "Do something. Before Cornelia comes back from her mission and finds out." Cornelia Franklin was another 1st Class Senior Magic Knight, also a commoner, but she didn't care who she angered. Cornelia and Levi were best friends and they often kept Kirsch on his toes about matters he didn't understand.

Kirsch sighed again. "This beautiful face doesn't deserve wrinkles, Levi, but I shall attend to the matter."

"Good."

Kirsch stood up from his chair and he and Levi left the office and headed to the Coral Peacock's training area, created by Captain Dorothy, as parts of the base were actually dreamed up from their Captain's magic. It was a bit weird but one got used to it. Kirsch entered the training area with a flourish. "I have graced my little rookies with my beautiful presence. What is this series that has got you all in a tizzy?"

"Vice-Captain, you're really weird," said junior knight Pitney.

Kirsch made a face and remembered that he had to have patience with the new kids. "Well, aren't you going to answer my question?"

"It's Star Knights! It's like the best serial running right now," said junior knight Lovejoy.

"Let me see," said Kirsch, holding his hands out for the magazine, despite knowing that they were taken. He wanted them to feel comfortable coming to him when they had a problem.

The junior knights shuffled their feet and looked at the ground, as though they were embarrassed. "Um, they were confiscated."

"I see," said Kirsch, unamused. "Levi, continue training with them. I'll look into the matter." He turned around, hoping that his wonderful Coral Peacock robes whirled with him, and walked out of the training room. He headed to the main area of the base and that was the tea room. (Captain liked tea parties).

There, Kirsch found Dmitri and Rick, two Intermediate Class Magic Knights and noblemen from the Brint and the Cornell Noble Houses (relatively small ones, of course). The two were reading the rookies' magazine, which merely annoyed Kirsch.

"Excuse me, but I believe those don't belong to you," said Kirsch, arms crossed and giving them his patented disgusted look.

"Vice-Captain," they both yelped, standing up and saluting him. "We were just making sure that it was good reading material…"

"Right," said Kirsch, in disbelief. "Hand them over and I've told you three times to leave the rookies alone. Do not make me tell you again. Next time, I will inform Captain. They are Levi's charges until they can go on missions."

"Yes, sir." The two literary magazines were handed to Kirsch.

"That's what I thought," said Kirsch.

He went back to his office and sat in his desk chair. Curiosity got the better of him and he opened one of the magazines. He found the Star Knights story and read:

Chapter 7 – The Witches' Queendom

Last time in "Star Knights":
Maris and her squadron, the Black Star Knights, faced a deadly foe that took everything in them to beat. As a result, the Black Star Knights retrieved the coveted magic gem, but Maris lost the use of her arms via a curse. Now the Black Star Knights are scrambling to find a way to help Maris—but this leads to the resident Black Star witch returning home to get help from her mother, the Immortal Witch Queen.

Kirsch gasped. "What?"

He quickly pulled out his magic communication device, the one hooked up to its companion over in the Golden Dawn headquarters with his little sister. He had forced her to take it, much to her irritation with him. But Mimosa was often put on missions with Yuno and Kirsch worried that Mimosa was taking on too much to keep up with the prodigal wind wizard.

"What do you want, Brother," asked Mimosa, annoyed.

"Mimosa, have the Black Bulls faced any recent trouble lately," asked Kirsch.

"No. Why?"

Kirsch explained to his sister and she seemed a bit confused but understood that Asta might have a stalker or someone spying on him. "So, perhaps you could warn them then?"

"Yeah, Brother, I will."

"Thank you."

"Sometimes, you're alright."

Mimosa deactivated the magic communication device after Kirsch began crying that it was about time that she appreciated him. She looked at Klaus who looked at her with worry in his eyes. "Well, that's a strange predicament."

"Very suspect," said Klaus, pushing up his glasses, having overheard the conversation since her brother was so loud. "Perhaps the rumor mill just spread the stories via word of mouth and someone decided to use the Black Bulls as inspiration? It's not the first time that someone used the Magic Knights and our mission as inspiration for fictional works."

"Or it's something else," said Mimosa, grimacing.

Klaus sighed. "Well, I know the magazine. My older sister is friendly with the editor. I'll ask her to look into who the author is."

Mimosa smiled, in relief. "Yeah, I'd rather go to Noelle with some facts before I freak her out."

"But I think we can agree on one thing," Klaus stated, glancing around the hallway.

She nodded. "We can't tell Yuno."

If Yuno found out that someone might be stalking Asta, Yuno would get very protective of Asta, despite the fact that Asta can take care of himself and Asta had Liebe and the rest of the Black Bulls to have his back. But Yuno's been strange about Asta since the Spade mission, so it was better safe than sorry.

"Precisely. I'll go visit my sister right now at the University," said Klaus.

"I'll distract Yuno."

"Good idea."

~to be continued