I was calmly cleaning the house when this idea popped into my head and refused to leave. I pushed aside my homework and started writing immediately. After two days and no sleep (it wouldn't let me sleep, can you believe it?), I was finally able to finish it.

It's my belief that Hao must had at least two sons in his first life (spoiler-one to continue the main Asakura family and one for the branch-spoiler), and that for someone as important as him, his wife must have been appointed by the Emperor. He married out of duty, there was not love involved.

With that thought in my head, this fic was born. The story will be told in the first person and the narrator will be a little biased (as you will see).

Before you start reading, I must warn you. There are spoilers from the Mappa Douji oneshot and its sequels (and maybe Flowers too).

Also…I still struggle to write in English, so you may find some (a lot of) mistakes. Hopefully, not as much as I believe there are (maybe someone can help me?).

Now, onto the fic! (FYI: The italic text are thoughts!)

Disclaimer: Shaman King belongs to Hiroyuki Takei. Let's support Shaman King in any way we can!

Memories of An Unfilial Son

Since I could remember, Father always had this haunted look in his eyes. I was too young to understand then, the layer of sadness that covered his soul, the deep hatred barely concealed in his heart.

One day, I saw him looking far away, like he was lost in thought. We were alone in the backyard of the manor, Mother and Older Brother gone to visit Uncle. With the innocence of a young child that was just learning about the world, I decided to ask him why he was always seem so sad.

Father was a little surprise by my question, but he managed to hide it well.

"I just miss your grandmother."

I never met my grandmother on my father' side. Now that I think about it, I didn't know anyone on my father's family. At the time, however, the only thing that came out of my mouth was…

"Why don't you go visit her, Father?"

"Maybe I should."

I was four years old when father took me to the outskirt, to a hill overlooking the growing city. At the top there was a lonely tombstone, surrounded by some shikigami under my Father command. Even then I knew, people were hungry enough to rob from the death, not caring what they destroyed in the process.

"Why doesn't she come out to greet us?"

"Because she is angry at me."

"Why would Grandmother be angry at you, Father?"

"Because I couldn't save her."

Father was always very patient with me. I know that now. My questions were painful to him, but he did not scold me…he just answered everything truthfully.

"Don't worry, Father. I won't leave you like Grandmother. I will always be by your side, don't be sad anymore."

I was so naïve.

I thought the reason Father was always so sad was because Grandmother left him after getting angry at him. Maybe if I fill up the emptiness left by her absence, he wouldn't be sad anymore.

I was so stupidly naïve.

Father didn't say anything, maybe because he knew such a promise was just wishful thinking on my part. He just let me hug his leg, in my little burble of ignorance.

Before we left, I saw the tombstone one last time, memorizing the name inscribing on it.

Asanoha Douji

Between Older Brother and me, I was the one who resemble Father the most. Maybe that was the reason I was closest to him. Even though I was the youngest and the weakest of all Asakura's apprentices. With eight years old, I was still not able to properly control the shikigami, while my Older Brother at five years old could do that without breaking a sweat.

I was such a failure.

Maybe that was why Mother paid more attention to Older Brother, leaving me all alone while they visited Uncle.

I was a little sad at first, but after watching Older Brother coming back for such visits with a scowl on his face, I thought it was better that I was left at the house. Mother's family was a little complicated, so It was a blessing in disguise.

Most of my free time would be spend reading, watching the other disciples train, or walking around the house. Always alone.

Being the second son of Asakura Hao, the protector of Kyoto and the most powerful Onmyōji alive, was like a cursed. Many people feared Father, and because of that, they didn't dare to approach me. It didn't help matters that I was often talking to ghost, the only beings who would spare me a glance and were willing to listen to me.

After some time, I grew used to it.

That day, Father brought home a stray cat. It was malnourished and sick. Mother didn't like it and ordered Father to get rid of it. As usual, Father didn't pay her any heed. Older brother was curious, but he didn't dare say anything in front of mother.

Mother was the younger sister of Fujiwara no Michinaga, the head of the powerful Fujiwara clan, and the power behind the imperial throne. Nobody told me but I knew anyway, Mother only married Father because of her brother. The Fujiwara knew Father was powerful, and such person should be brought to their side immediately. They knew Father was not interest in riches, so they forced the Emperor to grant a marriage to Father. Michinaga thought this was the best way to have Father under his control; little did he know, Father was unrestrained, nobody could control him.

Like always, every time Mother couldn't get Father to do something, she would immediately leave to visit her brother and complain about Father. I knew this because Older Brother told me. Even he was tired of such things, but he was still the heir of the Asakura clan, he didn't have the same freedom I enjoyed.

At the end of the day, the cat stayed. Father named it Matamune and took great care of him. In not time, Matamune grew stronger and healthy.

"I didn't know cats could see spirits too" I told Father when I realized the uniqueness of Matamune. He was too intelligent, too aware, too unlike any other cat.

"What made you think shamans were the only one capable of seeing spirits?" I was stunned. It was true, what made me think such foolish things? "Animals are much more connected to Nature."

I took his words to heart, like all the things he taught me.

As years went by, Matamune and Father's bond grew stronger. I was even a little envious. I was not longer the only one by Father' side. But Matamune made Father happy, he was able to do what I couldn't do, fill a little the hollowness in his heart. For that, I could never resent him.

When Matamune died, Father made him into a Goryoushin, a type of shikigami. He even imbued Matamune with a portion of his own Furyoku. That allowed him to have a physical body, or something that resembling it. That way, Matamune could stay by Father' side forever.

In this new form, Matamune could talk. I shouldn't be surprised, but I was. At the same time, I was happy, I thought in this way Matamune could finally answer my questions instead of watching me with his all-knowing eyes, always making me wonder what he was trying to tell me.

"Why is Father always locked in his room, Matamune?"

"He's researching."

"What is he researching?"

"The Shaman King."

I didn't know what the Shaman King was, but I knew it must be something very important for Father to spend so much time looking for it.

Apart for answering the Emperor or Uncle summoning, the only other reason Father ever got out of his room was to watch over the disciples. And this was getting fewer and fewer. He didn't even take part in the new disciple's training anymore, leaving the senior apprentice, Abe-senpai, in charge of everything related to it.

Even I was seeing him least and least. Even though he still answered when I called out to him, I was feeling like he was drifting away, out of my reach.

"Hey, Matamune, do you think father doesn't like me anymore?"

"What made you say that, young master?"

"I can't feel his presence anymore."

Before, despite being alone most of the time, I could always feel Father presence nearby. It was a comfort thought, knowing that Father was there, watching over me with his Shikigami when Mother and Older Brother were away.

Maybe I was being childish. I was seventeen years old already and a somewhat accomplished Shaman. I could use the Shikigami, seal onis and other demons, among other things. Never as good as Older Brother though, but I was still able to take care of myself. Father was already married with a son at my age! I shouldn't worry so much…

But still…

I felt like I was losing my Father.

Unbeknownst to me, that was the beginning of the end. The calm before the storm.

"You don't seem happy, young master."

As always, when Matamune was not with Father, he would keep me company. Before, it was Older Brother who did that when he had free time, but now that he was married, his focus was his own family.

"Mother wants me to marry soon."

Father married when he was sixteen, Older Brother did the same. I was eighteen years old already, and I was still single. For the past two years Mother tried to choose a wife for me, but I keep rejecting them. She was reaching the limits of her patient and I knew it.

"Do I have to marry, Father?" In one of those rarest moments that Father left his room, I managed to catch up to him to ask this question.

"It's what expected of you." Even though he was in front of me, I could see in his eyes that his mind was miles away.

Resigned, I let Mother dragged me to Uncle's manor to select my future wife, after all, Uncle still had the final say in the matter.

Everything was carefully planned. Uncle invited a lot of important families for this great occasion. They were still wary of Father and me, but the opportunity of being part of the powerful Fujiwara clan was too much enticing to pass.

I hated it, their hypocrisy, their fake smiles, and pleasantries. I still remember how they turn their back at me when I was a little boy trying to get some friend to play with me because I was too much my Father' son. They knew about Mother and Uncle neglect of my existence. They knew my brother was the favorite of the Fujiwara. But now that Uncle called them, they came like moths to a flame.

I didn't even know why I was there. It was not like I could really choose. Uncle would find the one who give him the most benefit without asking for my opinion. He did the same with his own daughters and sister, marrying them to the Emperor and other powerful clans to further cemented his power. Everybody knew he had even more power than the imperial clan, it was an open secret.

I didn't want to be a pawn, but even Father wouldn't support me. What could I do then?

I chose to stop taking part in the party. So much food wasted on those frivolous gathering, so much wealth in the hands of so few while thousands upon thousands were dying of hunger out there. Even though I was disgusted with so unnecessary opulence, I couldn't just leave. If I take a walk around the manor, maybe Mother would not reproach me later.

"That Asakura Hao is getting bolder and bolder." I didn't visit Uncle's Manor often. To get somewhere I wasn't supposed to be and hearing something I wasn't supposed to hear was inevitable.

"He won't listen to me anymore." After I realized the people talking were Uncle and Abe-Senpai, I hid myself to keep listening.

"Everybody is afraid of Asakura Hao. His powers are not like any other human."

"A demon is what he is. A demon that had tricked us for many years."

"Fujiwara-sama?"

"I did my research, Abe no Seimei. That year, when the Daidarabotchi appeared, the one who summoned it was another student of Hamo Tadatomo, Daitaro Boshi. That boy and Asakura Hao were friends."

"Then, that means…"

"Asakura Hao used that boy Daitaro to create the Daidarabotchi to kill Hamo Tadatomo. In this way, he could become the head onmyōji and gain the Emperor favor. After all, how could a kid destroy such a monster if he didn't have a hand in his creation?"

Lies. There were all lies. Things didn't happen that way. Father didn't create the Daidarabotchi. It was all Tadatomo's plan! How could they twist the truth like that?

"We must get rid of this demon, Abe no Seimei. Before he kills all human and create a demon kingdom on Earth."

"Even the apprentices are afraid of Asakura Hao, and they all listen to me. Even his oldest son listens to me to some extent."

"What about the youngest son?"

"You shouldn't worry too much about him, Fujiwara-sama. The youngest son is a failure. He won't pose a problem."

I felt like there was not enough air. I couldn't breathe, I felt trapped in that manor full of traitors. I needed to escape, I needed to warn Father.

I didn't realize when my feet started moving. I came to my sense in the middle of the road to my own manor. I could hear nothing but the blood rushing through my ears and the strong beating of my heart. I could barely remember passing past some disciples, the only thing in my mind getting to Father as fast as possible.

I was not supposed to enter Father's room without permission, but this was an emergency. Surely Father wouldn't mind, right?

Before I could even put my hand on the door, Father opened it and stood before me with a calm expression. I barely stopped in time and tried to catch my breath.

"Kill all humans and create a demon kingdom on Earth?"

"How you…"

For some reason, I always forget that Father was able to read minds. Only Matamune and I knew about his Reishi. Nobody else did, not even Older Brother.

"We should tell Older Brother…" Father was shaking his head before I could finish my sentence. I always knew Father didn't trust his firstborn son, but to think…

"Do you also think I am a monster?"

"What?"

Where did that come from? I thought Father was joking, but the serious look in his face told me he was not.

"Do you know why Fujiwara no Michinaga wants to kill me?" I was dumbfounded. Thinking more calmly, I realized I didn't understand why Uncle wanted to kill Father. "It's because he fears me. He thought that by forcing me to marry his sister he would be able to control me and made himself more powerful. He, like all humans, is full of greed, rotten to the core. You have seen it."

Of course, I have.

"Then, why not kill them all?" It was the first time I could clearly see the hatred in his eyes. I was too stunned to react. "Human are destroying Nature; they are a stain on this beautiful planet. Killing all humans and creating a world with only Shaman like us, wouldn't that end all suffering and stop all this senseless chaos?"

This was not what I was planning. Was telling Father a mistake?

Not, it couldn't be, he deserved to know about those treacherous hypocrites, Uncle and Abe-Senpai. With some luck, maybe they were all talk. After all, most of the disciple were orphans with no place to go. It was Father that took them in, who gave them a home and taught them how to be Shamans. They wouldn't be so ungrateful to turn their back on him, right?

And Older Brother wouldn't turn against his own Father, right?

No, there was not way for Uncle to succeed. Father was the kindest soul on this Earth, he always helped everyone, always carrying the burden of everything himself.

Then, if Uncle realized he can't turn anyone against Father, maybe he will give up and Father won't be forced to kill him, and he will be back to normal.

"You must be tired, go rest."

Suddenly, I felt my lids heavy. Before I lose conscious, I think I saw Father sad smile.

When I regained consciousness, it was already evening. Father was nowhere to be found and Mother didn't waste time to scold me because I left Uncle's manor before the bride selection. She said I brought shame to the Fujiwara clan and that I should apologize to Uncle first thing in the morning.

I didn't want to be anywhere near that man.

"You know? Marriage is not so awful." The next morning, Older Brother was here, trying to talk some sense into me.

He thought I ran away from Uncle Manor because I was afraid of marriage. It couldn't be further from the truth.

Should I tell him?

"Uncle knows what he's doing. Don't worry too much." I looked at him when I heard those words. He truly believed them, truly trusted Uncle. Maybe even more than he trusted Father.

That was a somber thought.

I left for Uncle Manor after breakfast. Like always, the streets of Kyoto were filled with beggars, homeless children and people dying from starvation. If this was in the imperial capital, I shudder to think how bad things were outside.

If I was not the son of Asakura Hao. If I was not the nephew of Fujiwara no MIchinaga. Would I be like them? Fighting for survival everyday of my life?

"Fujiwara-sama is expecting you."

I got down from the carriage trying not to think too much about what happened yesterday. Even though I felt uneasy, I linked it to my own nervousness. Even before I knew about Uncle true nature, I always felt him too imposing. His cold eyes never failed to make me shiver. I could still remember I was filled with nightmares after the first time I met him.

"Uncle." I greeted him like I was supposed to. Kneeled in the tatami floor, bowing my head down.

"Did you tell your father?"

"What?"

Like always, I was too stupid to realize I walked into a trap. Uncle was too smart, of course he would make the connection between his secret talk and my running away. How could I think otherwise? Uncle reached his actual position of power because he was always two steps ahead of everyone else.

"It's truly a shame." Uncle was standing in front of me, but I couldn't move my body for some reason. "If you were more like your brother, I would not have to do this."

"Are you…are you planning to kill me? Your own nephew?"

"Some sacrifices must be made for the greater good." Uncle walked to the door. Only then I realized Abe-senpai was standing there too, restraining my movements. "Too bad you are too much your father' son."

"Uncle!"

After he left, some samurais entered the room. It seems he planned everything carefully, from my mother's scolding to my older brother's advice, just to make me come to his Manor unprepared. I wonder, did they know they were sending me to my death?

Even after everything, I was still too naïve, too trusting.

"I'm sorry, Father."

I tried to fight Abe-senpai spell, I even tried summoning some shikigamis to keep the samurais busy, but I was never a match against the senior disciple. Everything I did, he was quick to bring a countermeasure. At some point my eyes couldn't stay open. The pain becoming too much for the many hits that connected to my body.

Before losing consciousness, I could swear I heard Father voice.

"You're so small."

I didn't know how much time passed. I kept drifting in and out of awareness. I even asked myself if I was still alive or became a wandering ghost.

"Young master," I could hear a faraway voice calling me. It was a voice I could recognize. "Young master."

I fought against the heaviness of my lids, trying to force my eyes open. That familiar voice kept calling out to me, shaking me out of my slumber.

"Where…?" After my blurred vision became clearer, I looked around trying to find where I was.

"We are in Master Hao secret training room."

"What happened?"

There was an almost burned-out candle on the table. In the dim light I could see Father's writing on some papers scattered across the table. There were some words that stood up among all others.

Shaman Fight.

Shaman King.

Great Spirits.

Training in Hell.

Taizan Fukun no Sai?

My mind was still a jumble mess. I couldn't understand what the meaning of those words were. I only knew Father spent a lot of time researching about that.

Suddenly, I remembered Matamune never answered my last question. Confused, I turned to him to repeat the question, but I was stopped with the words hanging in my mouth.

Matamune was silently crying.

A painful tug pulled at my heartstring. I had this strange feeling, like someone cut a part of my soul and left me to bleed out.

Each second of silence only made more uneasy.

Standing up on shaky legs, I made my way to the only door I could see. The answer was clear, but I still needed to know.

How long was I unconscious? What happened while I was out?

"You're safe." Older brother came to hug me as soon as he saw me. There was something different in the Manor, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Then, I saw it. Father five-point star symbol was nowhere to be found. Instead, a seven-star tree was in his place.

Nobody wanted to tell me, but I found ways to learn what happened anyway. That day, Father saved me from Uncle and took me somewhere safe. At the same time, Father killed all the samurais and all the people living in Uncle Manor. Matamune tried to stop his killing spree, but Father wouldn't listen to him.

Helpless, Matamune went to look for Older Brother and the Asakura disciples. Just then, Uncle came with Imperial orders, telling everyone that Father went mad and was trying to kill all humans on Kyoto. Of course, after what happened, they believed him. Everyone went against Father, Older Brother even used the family treasure, the Futunomitama no Turugi, to fight against him.

And Father lost because he was all alone against the world. They all turned their back at him. His body was burned to the ground and his ashes scattered in the winds. Such was the fear they have.

"Young master." After learning of what happened, I couldn't stand to be in the same place as those traitors. I chose to keep to myself. Despite that, Matamune managed to find me easily.

"You were his only friend." I didn't look at him. I couldn't stand the guilty expression on his face.

"The reishi poisoned his heart. Even my voice couldn't reach out to him."

I ignored him, focusing on my prayer. I was in front of Grandmother tombstone. I thought Father would be Happy if I chose this place for him, besides his loved mother.

Nobody knew of this place, only me and Matamune. It was better this way. They all thought Father was a demon who didn't deserved a resting place. Only I and Matamune would come to pay our respects, only we still saw him as the kind and sad man he was.

"You should visit your brother." Matamune tried again.

"My brother? That patricide?" I felt him flinch at my side. Being able to kill his own Father. How could I forget such a sin?

"He didn't have a choice."

"He did, he just chose the easiest way out."

"You didn't see him, Young master. Your father was atop a mountain of corpses." My very being was screaming that it was a lie, but I knew Matamune would never lie, least of all about Father. "It was a massacre…There was blood everywhere. Not even the children were spared."

"Do you also think I am a monster?" I could still remember that conversation with Father not so long ago. "Then, why not kill them all?"

I closed my eyes in an effort to block the memories. But the hatred I could clearly see in his eyes still haunts me until this day. Father said he wanted to kill them all and he did, but the reason…

"He did it for me." Those words were barely spoken above a whisper, but Matamune could still hear them clearly.

"Young master?"

"Uncle tried to kill me; Father saved me in time, but he lost control. When he realized what he did, he chose to die to atone for his sin."

"You're trying to…"

"Think Matamune," I didn't let him speak, I was convinced Father chose to die. There was not other explanation on how such a great Onmyouji could be killed, "Father had the Reishi, he knew everybody thoughts. How could he be defeated so easily?"

"If I had had your conviction, maybe I would have been able to save him."

I was grateful he chose to believe me. I knew it was probably wishful thinking, just like that time I promised him I would always be by his side, but I wanted to keep believe in Father, in his kind heart and pure soul.

Some time later, I went back to Kyoto. There was some unfinished business I must take care of. Something that kept me awake at night by constantly circling my thoughts.

"Hello, Uncle." I found him easily enough. After his old manor was destroyed by Father, he just ordered another be erected in his place. He didn't even care about all the life lost. Everything was swept away like nothing happened.

"The prodigal son is back."

The fury in my eyes could have easily melted rock, but he acted like he was not affected in the slightest. Always composed, never letting his enemy read his thoughts.

"Father didn't kill the children. It was all your doing," The same thought kept coming back to me. Why would Father kill the children? Unless…

"What if I did?" I was too shocked. He just admitted it was him! "I told you before, some sacrifice must be made for the greater good."

"You orchestrated everything to turn everybody against Father!"

"Everything, from the bride selection to you hearing about our plans and telling your father. Everything was carefully planned to erase Asakura Hao existence."

"Why?" Uncle was calm, too calm for my taste. There was no remorse in his eyes. He just confessed everything like it was such a great accomplishment.

"Because he was a threat."

"To your authority and power, maybe."

For the first time, I could feel the hatred in my soul growing. I wasn't sure before, but now I was certain. The darkness of the human heart was terrifying. And being witness to that for so long could drive anyone mad. Even the whitest soul would start to blacken. But I was convinced…

Father was not the monster.

They made him into a monster to hide their own sins.

Uncle died calling out to Amida, asking for entry to Paradise. I blew some air in disgust. He died too peacefully for such an abhorrent human being, but I couldn't alert Older Brother. I was not powerful enough to go against him. The other one who needed to die was Abe no Seimei, but Father already took care of him before they killed him.

After I finished my business in Kyoto, I gathered the few apprentices who refused to take part in the fight against Father. With them I created a branch side of the Asakura family, using the five-point star as our symbol. Older brother could have the Fujiwara and the Emperor support for all I cared. They could turn their back on Father, the founder of the Asakura family, because they were all traitors.

I was the only true descendant of Asakura Hao.

Even though it was my fault that he died.

The End.

Important notes:

Fujiwara no Michinaga was a true historical figure who lived in the Heian Period (966-1028). The Fujiwara clan's control over Japan and its politics reached its zenith under his leadership (taken from Wikipedia).

I refused to believe the Asakura just turned against Hao just because of his ideals. He founded the Clan and was a very respected individual at the time. So, I decided to look for a reason, and while I was reading about the Heian period, I came across Fujiwara no Michinaga.

Politics was a powerful reason to get rid of people that may pose a threat to the established system. And he was cunning and ruthless enough to be my main villain.

Abe no Seimei was a true onmyōji who lived in the Heain Period (921-1005). Asakura Hao was based on him, but in this fic, he was head disciple of the Asakura and he was jealous of Hao.

Taizan Fukun no Sai is the technique that allow Hao to be reincarnated.

You may have realized that I didn't give names to Hao's two sons. I chose to remain ambiguous on this part (mostly because I'm awful with names and I couldn't find names with the leaf signature).

I shared the same thought with the protagonist, but not the same reasons. Hao's first death was planned. He chose to die and go to Hell to train and prepared himself for the next Shaman Fight. It was also a test to see if the Asakura would side with him or no. I think the betrayal scarred him, that was why 500 years later he was a changed man, more ruthless and more in focus on his goal.

I think that's all for now.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story.

Until another time!