Trigger warning for mentions of suicide

August 13th 1998

Astoria Greengrass was a contemplative girl, if she was not before the war she was now someone more inclined to sitting and thinking carefully about something before stating a neutral, non-offensive opinion. This was a quality that had served her well growing up with a more hotheaded sister and in the politically unstable climate of the last couple of years where Astoria was not sure where she stood on sure on such matters. The war had changed Daphne Greengrass into a woman who was preparing to take life by the lapels and shake it to death, but was not ready to take that final leap knowing what she would sacrifice by doing so.

Pureblood ideals of family and station were something unstated and carefully cultivated into young children. Muggles were animals. Muggle-borns were only the smallest step above them, more radical sectors of society called them thieves.

Astoria was not sure she believed that anymore, or even if she ever truly did. Philosophers spoke of the freedom the mind provided, but sometimes it was hard to separate her own voice from the chorus of her social circle.

The war had left its mark on the Greengrass sisters; Astoria was coming to terms with its mark on her.

"Sixteen already?" Daphne asked teasingly as she checked her purse for her wand and other essentials of new adulthood. "You're getting old."

Astoria giggled. "Mother and father want to host a coming out ball like they did for you." She played with her dark ponytail and wondered if she could do anything else with her hair for the school year. Astoria felt that she needed a change, that something inside of her was squirming, clawing about inside of her struggling to break free as it grasped at her throat with need to scream its presence to the rest of the world. Perhaps changing her hair might allow her a chance to express that in a way that was just for her.

Daphne laughed quietly, "Lucky they had that party when they did. Everything went pear-shaped a week later."

"Yeah, it's been a long year." It really had been. Slytherin students were quietly not welcomed at funerals for those fallen at the final battle by other students. Though, Astoria had attended one on her own, a muggle-born from her year who had committed suicide in Azkaban who was being buried per muggle tradition by her family. Millie Simmons was a Slytherin student who had helped Astoria with Transfiguration homework and talked about becoming a Transfiguration professor. She was a nice girl who stood up for herself, a frequent occurrence as a muggle-born in Slytherin House. Astoria had heard she was captured leaving the country with forged papers. Astoria had received an invitation from one of Millie's other friends at the request of Millie's mother, Astoria could tell from the accompanying note that it was more out of duty to the grieving mother than anything else.

Millie's mother had treated Astoria with a warmth and kindness that was comfortable and uncomfortable in the same measure. Mrs. Simmons said Millie had spoken kindly of Astoria, that she was bright and nice to her daughter while other students mocked her background. Astoria had been taken aback by these comments, she and Millie were cordial and spoke of other things like the news, novels and school gossip over Transfiguration homework, but most of Millie's friends had been other muggle-borns. Perhaps that was enough for Millie to count her as someone above an acquaintance?

Mrs. Simmons had left Astoria their address in a letter and an open invitation to tea before she left the funeral. Astoria had cried quietly over the invitation as she road the Knight Bus back to the family estate for reasons she was not sure she could explain.

The sisters were quiet as they ascended the steps to Gringotts Bank.

"How's work, Daffy?"

The older girl shrugged. "I am the best secretary the museum ever had."

"You don't sound happy."

"No, I don't want to spend my life doing that until I get married! I'm not even sure I want to get married! I want to go to the dig sites! Find my own ancient vase and weird stone tablets instead of just categorizing them for a man with cataracts!" She swung the doors open with more force than was necessary as she got more worked up about the state of her career.

"Why not apply for the apprenticeship?"

Daphne stopped short, her brain warring with her heart. "Father will have a fit."

"It's your life, Daffy."

"Yes, yes I know, but…"

"Whatever you decide, I'll support you."

Astoria thought Daphne needed to apply for the apprenticeship in Egypt. Telling her this directly might leave Daphne more frazzled then she already was, so Astoria decided to stay quiet for now. Like she always did.

The sudden sound of screaming caught the girls' attention, cutting their conversation short as they stepped into the Gringotts atrium that was filled with the shouting of an irate woman.

"YOU PURIST SACK OF SHIT!"

Astoria was taken aback by the echoing noise from the center of the atrium. Also that language, but she had heard worse in the halls of Hogwarts from young men trying to act mature in ways that were not.

The screaming woman had drawn her wand; it took Astoria a moment to recognize her as one of her cousins. No longer dressed in the finery of a well-to-do family, Lucia Selwyn looked every bit the shameful scion the family tree. Her blonde hair was flying free in all directions, her clothes were clearly from a second hand shop and Astoria never knew just how loud she was.

The man unfortunate enough to be screamed at was Uncle Icomus. Tall with fast greying hair; he looked stoically at his wayward, disgrace of a daughter.

Lucia's glasses (Astoria had not known she needed glasses before) slid down her nose and she drew her wand jamming it into her father's chest with a dragon like fury as her face grew a deepening shade of red as she continued her tirade.

Icomus was standing firm; Astoria could see his lips moving. Probably telling his blood-traitor daughter that she was embarrassing herself as Lucia's voice stayed high and shrill with rage as she listed Icomus's sins as a father and duplicity as a person. She was clearly unfazed and continued her screaming response to a man who she publicly disgraced a year ago when she left her arranged bridegroom at the alter.

"SHE TREATS ME LIKE A PERSON, NOT BREEDING COLLATERAL!"

There was a rush of noise as a red headed man with horrid facial scars burst out of the offices and pulled Lucia away from her father who was now raising his voice to scream back at his wayward daughter.

"YOU AND YOUR FRIGID WIFE CAN WARM UP IN HELL!

This was awkward…

Astoria and Daphne exchanged a look as they watched their cousin and uncle get pulled apart by bank employees. The sisters both simultaneously turned and walked out the door back to Diagon Alley.

Daphne quickly proclaimed a walk around the alley would be sufficient exercise for the day and they could loop back to the bank later when the chaos had come to an end. This seemed a sensible idea to Astoria.

The sisters walked the Alley for an hour, chatting about topics not related to extended family matters, admiring the animals on display in the menagerie and giggling over window displays of increasingly ridiculous hats. They ignored the glares of those who recognized them as current and former Slytherin students and revealed in their own company, time together was going to be harder to find now that Daphne had graduated. Her sister's encroaching independence hung over them like a shadow and the thoughts of what their futures would be like lingered in the air.

Diagon Alley was filled with families who were still wary after the events of the last two years, but those feelings were being quickly buried and locked away by the sense of freedom and opportunity that life post war could bring them and their families. It was hard for Astoria to describe, she and Daphne ambled past the collections of families with excitable children on their way back to Gringotts. Astoria heard several whispered conversations about how the Weasley shop was closed, the surviving twin was just not in any shape to manage it since the Battle of Hogwarts. Astoria would not know what she would do if she lost Daphne, she hoped she would never find out.

Daphne suddenly stopped short in front of a cafe and pointed to an outdoor table with a hushed whisper. "Tori!"

It took a moment to register.

Lucia Selwyn was not someone to be passed over. She was tall, attractive and had an air of confidence and assuredness about her that called attention to her even in the most crowded room. Lucia was the kind of person who excelled as the center of attention and would be in most circumstances she found herself in should she wish it. She was reading a thick book and seemed to squint at the words on the page, even while wearing her glasses. Lucia leaned back in her chair to take a sip of tea and glance around the street before going back to her reading.

Before the war, Lucia was praised as the beauty of the Selwyn family. She wore beautiful clothes, had carefully done hair and she was always nice to Daphne and Astoria at family parties, protecting them from her cousin Dominicus when he was acting a bully. Astoria had looked up to her the way young children did with older children who were close in age. As Lucia broke away from the family fold, Astoria saw her less and the admiration turned into quiet nodding as the other Slytherins made note of her… unconventional cousin.

There was no sign of faded beauty from her change in circumstances, she took after Aunt Clarita that way, but what replaced the youthful girlishness was a genuine confidence and a womanly air of authority that made Astoria feel awkward by comparison and a little jealous.

Daphne moved closer to their wayward cousin, pulling Astoria along by the wrist until they stood next to her table.

Lucia looked up at the Greengrass sisters. She closed her book and rested her hand on her wand as she turned to face them seeming to expect conflict. "So, what do you two want?"

Daphne, ever the first to do anything outrageous, spoke first. "I want to talk you."

"You haven't been interested in that for years." Lucia's green eyes seemed larger and bug-like behind the thick glasses that now adorned her face. Astoria wondered what had happened to her, this was no minor prescription. "If this is about Dominicus-"

"Turning in your own family as Death Eaters is not a forgivable thing, Lucia."

"I'm not asking for forgiveness," Lucia snapped, her voice harsh and slightly raspy, her grip on her wand tightening. "He deserved it!"

Astoria was not sure if she meant Dominicus or Uncle Iacomus.

From what Astoria had overheard from her parents late night conversations, Dominicus had been badly beaten before his capture at the end of May and Lucia was on file for having accomplished the deed. Dominicus' father had died in the Battle of Hogwarts. By ensuring her cousin went to Azkaban, Lucia had effectively ended the Selwyn name in the patronymic line.

Daphne huffed, "Well, I-"

Lucia held up a hand. "If it's about my mother, I just want to know when she falls over dead, or if my father finally gets busted for his sympathies to your Dark Lord. That's all."

"You fling around a lot of assumptions for someone who's supposedly so smart," Daphne fired back, her face flushing with rage. "I never-"

"Yeah, you did." Lucia stood up; she was a full head taller than Daphne. "You did nothing. You fell in line like a good little girl and would have reaped every benefit of what your family really wanted underneath all of their propriety and supposed neutrality. You two have never taken a stand for anything in your lives." Lucia put her cloak on in a fashion that was dramatic, sweeping it outward before setting the clasp tightly at her neck as it settled on her shoulders. "Goodbye Daphne. Goodbye Astoria. I hope your lives popping out a new generation of bigots is fulfilling."

With that, Lucia picked up her book and stormed down the street, her long blonde hair billowing out behind her.

Daphne made a noise like an angry cat and stormed in the other direction.

Astoria looked between the two women and watched Lucia get swallowed by the crowd. Astoria knew why Daphne had wanted to speak with their wayward cousin, she wanted to know what it would be like to leave the family fold like she had. To find yourself adrift in a lawless world where the rules of their society had been rendered obsolete, a marker of a hateful age dominated by fear. She was hoping for something that Lucia was not able to give.

Resignation came over Astoria like a heavy clock. Daphne would break with the family and leave like Lucia had, with less outward venom perhaps but the family would be forever altered in an unpleasant way. Astoria had seen a glimpse of the worst-case scenario today. Daphne was her sister and she loved her dearly. If it came down to her parents or Daphne, she would choose her sister.

Though perhaps… It would not be like the Selwyns at all.

She took a deep breath and ran after her sister. She placed a hand on her shoulder and forced Daphne to stop as the crowd left a wide, unspoken gap between themselves and the Greengrass sisters.

"Go to Egypt."

Daphne blinked, her mouth opening slightly in surprise at the firm declaration.

"Go. To. Egypt." Astoria repeated, slower than before. "You deserve to be happy. You deserve to see all of the things you want to see-"

"Tori-"

"-and if mother and father have a fit about it, then you don't need them. You'll always have my love and support no matter what you choose to do, but I think you need to go for yourself."

Daphne paused, "Will you be okay if I go?"

"Yes." Astoria's voice was firm and resolute, a tone she would learn to take more often as her life moved forward. "You will never lose me. I think you give too much of yourself and that you need this worse then I need you beside me."

Daphne's lower lip trembled as she pulled Astoria into the tightest hug of her life.

"Thank you."

Daphne departed for Egypt two weeks later, leaving Astoria an order to write often about the things in her life she could not discuss with their parents. Astoria wrote to her sister often about her frequent correspondence and teas with Mrs. Amelia Simmons, a kindly woman who was the polar opposite of their own mother, who welcomed Astoria with open arms as she began to come to terms with the loss of her Millie. Astoria offered her comfort and counsel when a Hogwarts letter arrived for her younger daughter in the summer of 1999.

Astoria confided in her sister that she was not sure what the future held, but she knew that the world was changing and they needed to change with it or be confined to obscurity and looked as a relics of a dark age. Daphne was the only person Astoria confided her political shift in, wearing a face of careful neutrality in front of her parents and classmates until she moved out on her own to begin a career as a potioneer, a series of decisions that shocked her parents, extended family and society as a whole.

But Astoria was happy, and that was all that mattered.

A/N: This was actually the original final chapter of a four chapter series I'm working on. I've decided to go in another direction for it, but this one was 75% finished and fits my own canon so I decided to publish it as a stand alone.

There is a lot of focus in society for women to be nonconfrontational, to nod along and smile even if you don't agree knowing that expressing that opinion will be shouted down by people who will talk over you, saying you know nothing about it. I wanted to touch on that here, to lay bare some of the moments that would make canon Astoria someone who has enough confidence in her opinions to be vocal about not raising a racist bigot of a son to her in-laws (Damn girl, gettit). She's beginning her sixth year here and is going to spend the next couple of years at a school that was decimated by battle and war, I think that would encourage reflection in anyone.

Plus, Scorpius gets a cool aunt out of that deal.