"Richard?"

…

"Richard, may I come in?"

…

"If you do not want me to come in then you need to tell me."

…

"I'm coming in."

Light filled the room for a moment then disappeared. The bed shifted and a hand settled on Dick's back.

…

"Barbara told me what happened."

Heat. A ringing in his ears. "BATKID!" "Red Wing, please!" Digging. Bodies. "No. Jason." A mother and son… or a pair of acrobats… Blood. Footprints leading to tire tracks. "My son, I'm so sor-Robin? Robin, get back here!"

"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner."

"Why can't I come with you and Jon?" "You're not quite ready for a space mission yet, Richard. I've talked to Father, though. He said you could patrol with him and Jason until I return so long as you two don't get into too much trouble." "We're not that bad."

"I'm sorry," Dick said, his voice hoarse.

"Imagine how mad he'll be if I've clipped the wings of a baby bat and a baby bird on the same day!" Zap! "Haha! Aw Jeez, I hit Batkid harder than that!" "Shut up!" "So," a groan, "the first Demon Child taught you a," a hiss, "a few tricks, hahaha!" "I said shut! Up!" "Hahahaha!" "ROBIN!" "B?" "He's had enough." "He killed -" "I know. I… I know." "Don't worry, Boy Blunder, you'll join him soon enough!" "What are you talking ab-" "Robin! Move now!" An explosion.

"I killed him."

The hand started rubbing circles into Dick's back. "That's not true."

"If I hadn't attacked him like that, if I hadn't beaten him as bad as I did, he would have made it out."

"He was the one who set off the explosion, Richard. That's not on you." The hand shifted up to Dick's shoulder and tugged him closer to the warm presence next to him.

He pressed his face into the warmth as another hand came up to card through his hair. "B thinks it's my fault."

"Father doesn't think anything right now. He's still processing his grief. We all are. You are not at fault for what happened. If Joker is dead - and his body still hasn't been found so we don't even know if he is finally gone - then it is no one's fault but his own."

Dick shook his head. "I shouldn't've attacked him."

There was a pause, then a sigh. "No, you should not have. It was extremely reckless and we… You could have gotten yourself killed. You are extremely lucky Joker had not expected you to be with Father so you were able to catch him off guard. Impulsive behavior… It's already taken Jason, you can't let it take you too."

Dick's fingers dug into his calves from where his arms were wrapped around his legs.

"I found my mom." "Batkid? B said -" "It's okay. She said Joker isn't here. It's safe. We're going to talk inside so no one sees us." "But -" "I can talk her around, Red Bird. I know I can. Please, don't tell B. She's my mom." "O-okay. Just be careful." "It'll be fine. She said he won't be back for hours."

She lied.

"It wasn't his fault."

"I-That's not what I mea-"

"Yes, it was."

Another sigh. The warmth moved away so the hand in his hair could come down to cup his cheek. It brushed away his tears and tilted his head up, but he didn't look at the face hovering over him. "Richard -"

"I wanna be alone now. Please."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm tired."

There was a beat, then the hands and warmth and face moved away. "Alright. Get some rest. I have to go talk to Father. If… I am here if you need anything."

Dick nodded and laid down with his back to the warmth.

The light came and went.

When they returned from Ethiopia, Bruce told Dick he'd be benched for a month. It was partly to give his injuries from the fight with Joker time to heal and partly as punishment for running off to said fight. Damian had agreed when he arrived back on Earth a week later and Dick accepted the punishment without complaint.

By the end, though, he was itching to get out of the manor. He hated being trapped in one place for too long. With the media going crazy over Jason's death, Bruce had managed to arrange for him to finish the last few weeks of school from home and Damian decided they would remain at the manor instead of heading back to their house in Somerset. It was a longer commute to work and patrol for Damian and meant Dick couldn't run around the neighborhood to visit with his friends, but it was also more secure against paparazzi.

Dick wouldn't complain since he knew he deserved it, but it didn't stop him from feeling trapped.

On the day he was meant to go back on patrol, he was skipping through the halls in anticipation of stretching his wings and releasing the tension that had built up under his grief and guilt. He went looking for Damian once he got home to see if he wanted to spar before dinner. When he couldn't find him in his room or studio, he went to see if Alfred, Bruce, or Selina knew where he was.

"- for a month. I think that's a fair amount of time."

Dick perked up when he heard Damian's voice and ran up to the door to Bruce's study.

"I don't mean he should stay on the bench. I meant Robin should be taken off the roster altogether."

He froze, hand inches from the doorknob.

"I know he shouldn't have gone after Joker -"

"It's not just that. Dick… He never should have been brought into this life. He's not like us and he was too young."

"I was younger than him when I started out as Batkid," Damian snapped.

"You were raised by assassins. He had a normal life before you involved him. He deserves a normal life. I know you wanted to help him, but this isn't the way."

Bruce was angry. Dick had known that. He didn't think Bruce would take Robin away from him though. Robin was… his purpose. His place in the family. Without Robin, he didn't have any reason to be there. And if he wasn't there…

"Heard Wayne's taking Grayson." "Really? Knew his old man liked strays, but I thought he stuck to animals. Why's he coming for the kid?" "To honor Brucie's memory? Hell if I know." "Well, whatever reason, I hope the kid can behave." "Yeah. Lord knows Wayne hates people at the best of times, can't imagine how he'll take to having a brat running around." "He'd probably return the kid the first time he acts up. Doubt the poor ***** will get another chance too."

No, Dick couldn't lose Robin. But Dick was Damain's partner and Damian wouldn't let Bruce do that, right? Right?

Why wasn't Damian saying anything?

"This is what Richard needs," Damian finally said after a few moments, but the happiness at his words was overshadowed by the ice sliding down Dick's spine from how calm Damian sounded.

Why wasn't he mad anymore?

Was… Was he starting to think Bruce was right?

"No, it isn't," Bruce said.

"How is he any different than the rest of us?" Damian asked, voice still calm.

"You were raised by assassins. As was Cass. Duke was in a gang. Tim raised himself in that damn empty mansion and spent years trailing after us through Gotham's streets with nothing but a camera. And Jason lived on those streets."

Tearing up, Dick wrapped his arms around himself. He knew he wasn't as smart or skilled as the others, but he'd thought…

"Dick might not have had a typical childhood, but he had a happy one. He grew up with an entirely different mentality than us. You saw how he looked when he went after Joker."

Dick flinched. He remembered the rage that had flooded through him. He knew he shouldn't have gone after Joker. That it was stupid and reckless and wrong. Not justified vengeance, just plain old revenge. The very thing Damian had tried to instill against when he'd started out.

But at the time all he could think was that Jason was dead, had been murdered like his parents, and his family kept dying around him and Joker was to blame. He hadn't meant to go as far as he did, he hadn't meant for Joker to die!

He just wanted everyone to be safe.

The worst thing, though, was that as much as he wasn't proud of how he'd run off and put himself in danger, as terrified as he was that he had killed someone, he didn't regret what he'd done to Joker.

"He doesn't belong in this life, Damian."

Dick froze. No. No! Losing Robin was one thing, but to not belong…

"I understand."

Dick staggered back, hand coming to his mouth as the tears fell. He quickly ran back the way he'd come before the sobs could start.

They couldn't… They couldn't!

It was one mistake! It was a bad one, but he knew the others had had bad mistakes too. They couldn't get rid of him for that, right?

Except the others were Bruce's sons, and he was just Damian's foster kid. He thought it hadn't mattered that he wasn't really family on paper, but maybe it did.

"You're not getting a family, circus freak." "Yeah, foster kids ain't family. They're just a paycheck." "Or some rich bastard's charity case." "Either way, no one actually cares about them even if they have to pretend to. And no one would care about someone like you."

Dick barely stopped himself from slamming the door behind him as he staggered into a closet. He dropped to the floor, pressing his knees into his eyes.

He couldn't go back to juvie. Losing Robin would be torture, but going back to that hellhouse would kill him. Maybe even literally.

He technically wasn't as defenseless as he was last time. He was sure he'd probably be able to take anyone that tried to hurt him if he tried, but he wouldn't be able to try. He wouldn't be Robin going in. He'd be Dick Grayson, former foster son of Damian Wayne. He couldn't use any of the skills he'd gained as Robin without risking his identity - former identity - and the identities of the rest of the Bats by extension. And he would never do that, even if they did return him.

No, he couldn't go back to juvie, but where else could he go. It'd been made pretty clear both when he got there and when he left that there was nowhere else he'd be sent. Maybe Babs or Cass would take him? Or maybe they could talk Damian around? Duke, Steph, Tim, and Selina would help, right?

Unless they thought Bruce and Damian were right.

"I understand."

No, they would talk them around. They had to.

Except Bruce and Damian - like the rest of the family - were stubborn. Would the others be able to talk them around before they shipped him off?

Maybe if he could buy them time…

He couldn't go back to juvie.

Dick scrubbed his eyes and got up to slip out of the closet.

His first stop was the cave. He couldn't grab his normal suit without anyone noticing, but the updated version had just finished testing and hadn't yet been equipped with trackers. He stuck it into a lockbox alongside some gear.

Then he was up in his room. He stuck the box into a duffle bag with his travel toiletries.

Before he could grab anything else, there was a knock on his door.

He quietly zipped up the bag and knocked it under the bed as he called, "Who is it?"

"It's me, Richard. Can we talk?"

Dick dropped onto the bed. "Yeah, sure."

Damian came in with a plate of cookies.

Dick grabbed one, but didn't press up against his guardian like he normally would.

"You already know why I'm here," Damian sighed.

"I overheard you talking with Bruce. You're…" He clenched his fingers around the cookie as he looked up at Damian. "Don't do this, please. I can be better. I-I won't do anything like this again, I swear! Please, you can't! We're a team. We're partners! You said so yourself! You cant… you can't just toss that aside! Toss me aside!"

"It's not like that, Richard," Damian said, setting down the plate.

"Then what is it like!" Dick snapped and jumped to his feet, placing them eye-to-eye.

"This life isn't good for you," the young man said, meeting his gaze. "Bringing you into it, it was a terrible error in judgment. Father is right. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just doing what's best for you."

"It's not like you forced me into it! I chose this! I want this!"

"You could have been killed, Dick!" Damian said, voice growing louder.

"I'm sorry! I let my emotions get the best of me! But it won't happen again!"

"It's over, Dick!"

"No! You can't do this! I-I won't let you! You can't se-"

"Enough!" Damian shouted, then pressed a hand over his face. In a calmer voice, he said, "I've made my decision."

"Dami, please!" Dick felt tears pricking at his eyes as Damian stood up and turned to leave.

"You're going to stay here until after the funeral next week. We can talk more about what happens after once you've calmed down."

"You can't do this to me!"

"You're better off this way."

"Wayne is going to be the best chance you're going to get, kiddo. The only good chance, honestly. I really hope this works out for you."

"I hate you."

Damian hesitated by the door, then shut it behind him.

Dick couldn't go back to juvie.

Lines quoted or rewritten:

- "Imagine how mad he'll be if I've whacked two Boy Wonders on the same day!" - Joker ~ Joker: Last Laugh #6

- "Aw... Jeez... I hit Jason a lot harder than that." - Joker ~ Joker: Last Laugh #6

- "Bruce... You... You can't! We're a team. We're partners! You said so yourself!" - Dick ~ Robin: Year One #3

- "This was all a terrible error in judgment. Gordon was right." - Bruce ~ Robin: Year One #3

- "It's over, Dick! You're better off this way." - Bruce ~ Robin: Year One #3