A/N:
I swear this plot bunny was all light and fluffy when it came to me, and then in the process of writing it... uh... gained weight. It's now a little heavy in the middle, just a little. XP
The Introvert
Zoro hates springs. Well, it's not so much the season that he hates, not the green sprouts or the bird chirps or the sunshine or the scent of flowers. None of that makes a rat's ass of a difference to him anyway. No, it's because spring is the beginning of the Shit Cook's social season.
"Come on Marimo! You've been holed up here all winter. You'll start growing mushrooms in your hair if you don't get some fresh air. It's a barbeque, and look, the sun is out! Perfect day for photosynthesis!" Said Cook sings, one hand holding the cooler full of food and the other yanking at the back of Zoro's collar. He's actually using one of his precious hands, which the swordsman takes as an indication of his determination to get Zoro out the door.
"I'm not a plant. I don't need the fucking sun. And I told you I have stuff to do." Zoro pulls his collar out of the blond's hand.
"Really, like what?"
"Like course planning for the dojo."
It's admittedly a little late in the school year for course planning, but he can always plan for next year.
"You've been doing that every weekend!"
"No, since the start of spring we've been going out every weekend."
"And we should. It's spring! Don't you miss our friends?! You haven't seen them since last year! Oh by the way, Luffy's coming today." The blond beams at the information, as if that's enough of a reason to change the swordsman's mind.
"We saw Luffy last week."
"I thought you like Luffy."
"I do, just not enough to see him every week."
The blond gives a soft gasp at that. The curly brow creases. He doesn't say the words out loud, but Zoro can practically hear them from the way that widened crystal blue eye clouds over with the first sign of a tear.
Do you get tired of seeing me everyday too?
The cook is an idiot. He still can't tell just how unlike the others he is to Zoro. The swordsman sighs and pulls the blond head in for a pacifying kiss on the forehead before walking past the idiot to the door. He just can't win against that look.
"Wait shithead, don't walk ahead of me! You'll get lost in the staircase!" The blond calls from behind, and Zoro doesn't miss the hint of a smile in his voice.
As expected, the cook mans the grill with a cigarette between his lips while the rowdier guests play some variation of kick the can in the distance. Luffy occasionally ditches the game to come steal uncooked meat from the irritated blond. The blond responds by kicking him back into the game. Zoro stretches in the comfortably quiet shade and shifts his back against the tree trunk. He's about to close his eyes for a nap when he catches a glare from the cook reminding him of the mission he was assigned in the car.
Don't just shut off. Make small talks with someone, anyone. That's all you have to do. Just... TRY.
Try. Small talks. Zoro heaves a sigh and looks around to find the only other person in the shade, recognizing the man to be Luffy's boyfriend. Luffy introduced him earlier with a name along the lines of "Tra-dude". Zoro has no doubt that the guy's actual name is something more dignifying. The man sits with his legs crossed not far from the swordsman himself, and he has his face completely hidden under his white fur hat behind a book.
A book! Luffy allows the guy to take a book to a social event like this! Zoro feels a pang of envy. The Shit Cook has confiscated his phone for the duration of this barbeque to prevent him from plugging in to his music and tuning out the world. It does make for a good small talk topic though.
"Hey..." He gives a tentative call. The man looks up and gives him a questioning nod, asking if the swordsman is talking to him.
"Uh..." Shit, how does this small talk thing work again? "The book. Luffy lets you bring a book to this thing?"
The man seems to be confused, pulling his brows down in a frown for a second or two, before his dark grey eyes light up with a knowing smirk.
"He doesn't know." The bastard shrugs smugly at him and goes back to his book.
Zoro glances in disbelief between the man and Luffy, and sure enough, the boy's too busy eyeing the grill for an opening to pay the man any mind. He looks to the cook, who seems to instantly sense his gaze. The blond turns to raise an eyebrow at Zoro as he knocks away Luffy's hand with his tong. Right, it definitely wouldn't work with the blond. He's got eyes on the back of his head.
The difference between the two likely has more to do with personality than anything else, but Zoro decides to ask anyway.
"How do you make sure he doesn't notice?"
"Simple. I invite Blackleg-ya to these gatherings." The man says without taking his nose out of the book.
Zoro glares at the implications of the statement.
"Relax! It's not like that. I invite Blackleg-ya, who always brings food. When there's food Luffy's too busy to notice anything." The man turns a page.
Huh, that's actually... smart.
So when Zoro finds the cook making plans for the following weekend, he casually mentions that they haven't seen the weather witch in a while.
"I thought you don't like her." The blond gives him an assessing look after a kick to the head for calling the weather witch what she is.
"She's fine. I just-" He just doesn't like how the cook always fawns over her, but he waves it off. "Anyway, you wanted to catch up with her, right?"
The cook blinks at him a few times before pulling him in for a kiss with a soft appreciative smile, clearly misunderstanding Zoro's scheme for a loving compromise. The swordsman strokes the golden locks in a rush of guilt.
The guilt doesn't last long though, and Zoro soon remembers exactly why he doesn't like going out with both the blond and the witch. They end up in a club, like they always do when those two are in the mix.
They end up in a club, where the music is way too loud, the space is way too crowded, the booze is way too expensive, and the lighting is way too dim. The blond is indeed too distracted to remember confiscating Zoro's phone this time, but it's not like having a phone is any help when he can't hear shit through his earbuds. He throws the cook a glare of resentment from his seat in the booth. The cook is oblivious to it this time, too busy doing his noodle dance around the redhead on the dance floor.
Zoro sighs and turns to the blue haired girl who came with Nami. He's seen her at these gatherings a few times before. If he thinks hard enough he can probably fish out the right name from his memories. Fifi, or something like that. She seems like the quiet type, currently watching the pair on the dance floor with a small smile and fingers plugged into both of her ears. Zoro decides to try his luck at this small talk thing again. Maybe he'd get better advice this time.
"Do you ever tell Nami you don't want to come to clubs?" He taps her on the shoulder and shouts right into her ear when she unplugs one finger.
It takes a few rounds of back and forth shouting and confused head tilts before the girl understands Zoro's question. She flashes him a wide grin when she does.
"Only when we're snowed in and it's too cold to come."
Ah, right. Maybe she's also an extravert, a soft spoken, noise-averse, extravert. Zoro abandons the conversation with a dry nod and returns to cringing at his boyfriend's noodle dance.
He knows nothing has changed since before the short exchange with the girl, but he can't help feeling a little lonelier in such a big crowd.
Zoro resolves to taking a break from these weekend outings the next week, but the timing is just not on his side.
"Look, I know I shouldn't have danced with Nami-san for that long last week, but you're not seriously thinking about skipping Usopp's and Brook's joint birthday party just to get back at me, right?" The cook huffs a cloud of smoke and taps off the ashes in irritation.
"I'm not getting back at you. I just need a break from... people." Zoro leans onto the kitchen counter, trying to talk in a calm voice to avoid setting off the already antsy blond.
"What does that even mean? These are your closest friends! Some of them you haven't seen since last month! Don't you get enough of a break from them during the week already?" The blond waves his hands frantically before running a hand through his hair in frustration.
Zoro hesitates for a short moment on whether he should just let it drop and go to the damn party. He knows friends' birthdays are a big deal to the cook, but this is not about the party anymore. There are some things he has to make clear this time, party or not.
"I need time off, Cook, away from people. I deal with kids all day every day during the week, and-"
"I thought you like your kids."
"I do. Shit, this is not about me hating people. I get tired out, OK? It's just too much after a while. The kids talk at me all day long, and then I come home... and-and..." Zoro stutters, not sure how to follow that thought to make the blond understand and not take offense.
"And then you come home, and you have to deal with me." The blond finishes, voice tight and lips pressed into a thin line around the forgotten cigarette.
"No! That's not..."
Well, yes, that's exactly what Zoro was trying to say, but just... in a softer way that he hasn't been able to come up with. He loves this man to bits. He's not the dramatic type, but he can say without exaggeration that he'd be lost in life without the cook. Spending time with this man is admittedly much easier, much less energy draining than the rest. It's still not the same as being alone though. He hates that he thinks this way, but he wishes he'd get just one day a week to be away from the blond, from anyone, so that he can bleed out the noise that builds up between his ears into the vacuum of a soundless space. To clear his mind so that he can think and feel shit again.
"I love you Cook." He ends up saying, looking into the visible blue eye for emphasis. "I love you. I just... need to breathe sometimes."
The blond pulls out a new cigarette and lights it, and they sit in silence while the blond smokes. The cigarette butt is stubbed out in the ashtray before the blond speaks again.
"So you'd rather waste the weekends away at home than go to parties with me?"
Zoro inhales deeply before giving the only honest answer he can think of.
"It's more of a waste if I go to parties."
The cook gives him that look. The crystal blue eye clouds over, and Zoro knows he's lost this one too. It's not fair, but then again, none of his fights against the cook has been fair since the day they met.
"I won't miss a birthday though, let alone two." He says, taking one of the cook's hands and pressing it to his lips.
But the cook doesn't smile back at him this time. He bites his lips and gives Zoro a pondering look.
Some bumps on the road can't be smoothed over with a kiss.
The cook doesn't give him a mission at the joint birthday party, nor does he ask for Zoro's phone or tell him to make small talks. Zoro finds a comfortable corner with his bottle of booze, and the blond lets him be, for the most part, aside from the worried glances he keeps sending Zoro's way.
"Why the long face, Zoro-bro?" Franky sits down beside him and taps his cola bottle against Zoro's booze and nods to the blond. "Did you two have a fight or something?"
"Yeah, or something." Zoro takes a swig and looks around. "Where's Robin?"
"Uh... She's... uh..." Franky scratches his head and gives an awkward laugh. "She said she wants some time alone. Told me to pass along her gifts and cards to the birthday boys."
Zoro's free hand seems to comprehend those words first, whipping out his phone and dialing for Robin on its own accord. His brain finally catches up when he hears the woman's voice.
"Good evening, Zoro. I hope you are enjoying the party."
"Hey, what did you say to him?" He turns and practically barks into the phone.
Usopp calls for Franky from the center of the crowd, and the mechanic gives the swordsman a small wave and rejoins their story telling session with a strum of his guitar. Zoro nods absently in reply.
"I am afraid I might need more context to that ques-"
"Quit pretending. You know what I'm talking about."
A pause. Then a light chuckle. That damn woman.
"I simply said that I was in need of a little quiet time tonight."
"That's it? And he lets you off with that?"
"Seeing as we have had numerous past conversations on this exact issue, Franky has notably improved in his acceptance of the matter. It has not always been this easy. The first few occurrences did require substantially more effort on my part."
"Effort?"
"I am glad you asked." The woman replies with an audible smile. "Threats. Mainly threats of genital mutilation, but also a number of death threats where I felt the need to go into detailed descriptions. There was even once I had no choice but to perform a partial physical demonstration by squeezing the testicles hard enough that they-"
"OK stop! That's enough... Thank you." Zoro winces and wonders what he needs to do later to get the images out of his mind. "You had to go that far, huh..."
"You are quite welcome, Zoro. And yes, getting through to the other side does call for extreme measures at times. I wish you the best of luck with Sanji."
She hangs up with a click. Zoro puts away his phone and finds the crystal blue eye giving him another unreadable look from the crowd.
Extreme measures...
The cook doesn't mention plans for the next weekend for a few days after, which only makes Zoro more tense in anticipation of the inevitable moment. The swordsman is more than ready when it finally comes.
"Marimo, I was thinking maybe this weekend we should go and see-"
Extreme measures, like threats of genital mutilation.
"I swear, Shit Cook, if you force me to go to one more of your stupid weekend social gatherings, I'll cut your d-"
Tears. That crystal blue eye is drowning in tears, the excess spilling out of the lower lash in big fat drops and tumbling down the pale cheeks before falling off the stubbled chin and spattering onto the kitchen tiles.
Zoro swallows the rest of his threat along with the heart in his throat. He pulls the cook into his arms and feels the tears soaking through his shirt.
"I'm sor-" He begins, but the blond beats him to it.
"I'm sorry, Zoro." The cook sobs into his shoulder. "I should've noticed sooner."
"Well I should've said something sooner. It's not your fau-"
"You must've suffered so much!"
"Uh... Suffer is a strong word for-"
"Don't worry, Marimo. You have me, and we'll get through this together."
"Wait a minute!" Zoro pushes the cook far enough to look him in the face. "Get through what?"
"This." The blond, with his face flushed from crying and bangs a tangled mess, gestures to Zoro's whole being.
"What is this?"
"I don't know, which is why I said we should go see Chopper this weekend."
"Chopper? As patients?" Zoro gives the man an unimpressed glare.
"No, patienT. Just you."
"I'm not sick, cook."
"You just lashed out and threatened to cut me. You haven't done that since the day you confessed to me."
"No, that was..." Extreme measures.
Well... Fuck advices.
Zoro spends that Sunday afternoon listening to Chopper explain to the Shit Cook what introversion is and how it's not a mental illness. He's unable to decide if the look on the cook's face by the end of the session is worth the agony of the whole experience.
Zoro gets a few relaxing weekends to himself after the visit to Chopper's office, and by the time Luffy's birthday party rolls around, he has managed to learn a couple of beginner's tunes on an old guitar that Franky modified for him to make it left-handed. He manages to stay at the dinner table for at least half way through the night before retreating to a perfect hiding spot on the balcony with his booze. The blond doesn't give him weird glances this time. He gives Zoro a quick kiss and tells him to put on a jacket on his way out.
The glass door opens after a while, and a frail looking platinum blonde walks out onto the balcony and shuts the door and the noise of the party firmly behind her.
Kaya, Usopp's fiancé, a medical student in her final year.
Zoro watches wordlessly as she takes the few short steps to the railing and closes her eyes, slowly inhaling the cold fresh silence before exhaling the tension from her body. She turns to give the swordsman a polite smile.
"Nice spot." She says.
Zoro grunts in reply and watches Usopp through the glass door as the long nose searches frantically through the crowds before being dragged off to a corner by the cook.
"What did you say to Sanji-san to make him understand?" She asks.
"Try quoting your medical books on it." He says, and she giggles.
"You had to go that far, huh..."
"It calls for extreme measures at times." He nods.
"Dinner's in the fridge, but heat it up before you eat it, do you hear me?" The blond yells from the bathroom sink, hands making last minute adjustments to his hair.
"You said that before. I'm not three years old. Ask Brook for the guitar TAB for his new single."
"It's a live! I don't think they'd let us snoop around backstage. That song's too hard for you anyway. Don't get ahead of yourself."
"Never underestimate an introvert." Zoro flashes him a grin from his spot on the bedroom floor and gives his guitar a strum.
The blond rolls his eyes through the mirror before grabbing his keys from the night stand and giving the swordsman a peck on the cheek on the way out. Soon the door clicks shut, and sweet silence fills the space. Zoro has the apartment all to himself for the evening.
Spring is almost over, but the Shit Cook's social season has just begun.
It won't be so bad this time around though.
A/N:
I usually ship UsoNa, but I can't decide who the introvert would be there, so I broke them up. XD
Let's pretend they only get one free day each weekend because the other one is for grocery shopping and errands and stuff.
I posted this on AO3 on May 5th, but I forgot to post it here until now, so Happy Belated Birthday Luffy!~