Yamada Hizashi considered himself to be a person with a lot of self-control. Except when there were bugs. And when there was a reason to be loud. And when he was drunk. And when Aizawa Shōta was in front of him. And...

But apart from that, he had a pretty good sense of self-control. Which might be why he had just spit coffee onto his longtime crush's clothes.

You see, dear listeners, it all started with a nice morning when Hizashi dragged his friend Shōta to a coffee shop.

Hizashi had a great sense of self-restraint, but even he was getting tired of watching the messy, shoulder-length black hair cover half of Shōta's face. That was too much for his gay little heart to bear.

That was why – without talking it through with Nemuri or Tensei – Hizashi decided that his pining was simply unfit for someone as handsome as Present Mic.

Present Mic pining?! Ridiculous! This could not go on any longer!

So he deemed a coffee shop with blinding sunlight shining directly on the dry eyes of Aizawa Shōta to be the perfect romantic opportunity to confess his undying love towards his high school crush. (Hizashi thought the spotlight made Shōta look even better; Shōta would beg to differ.)

He had prepared a whole playlist for the occasion... Okay, maybe Shōta didn't like the English songs all that much (nor the Japanese songs, actually), but the violin music playing in the background of the coffee shop was enough for someone like Shōta anyway.

All he needed was some rose petals (and eye drops) and he would be all set for his epic speech, right?

He pushed the coffee closer to the half-awake man. 'Shōtaaaa! C'mon! Drink some!'

The Erasure Hero looked on the verge of sleeping but heeded the Voice Hero's advice, since drinking the coffee took less effort than refusing it.

Hizashi felt his lips go dry. Shōta looked so cute!

He cleared his throat dramatically and paused suspensefully until Shōta looked towards him.

It didn't take too long, since Aizawa Shōta had learned a long time ago that tolerating him took less effort than trying to get Hizashi to shut up.

'So, Shōta...' He paused, suddenly unsure of what to say. But within seconds he had decided to just get on with it and not leave his dear listener hanging, since he was a professional radio host and a Pro Hero. 'We have known each other for a long time. I still remember when you were that kid who sat beside me in class, and...'

Shōta sighed and decided to try sleeping with half-open eyes, but thought better of it. Hizashi was unstoppable when it came to unnecessary words.

'Mic,' said Shōta tiredly. 'Are you done yet?'

'No! As I was saying...'

Shōta sighed again. This had been going on for half an hour, and he was late for his morning nap and afternoon nap, and every other bonus naps.

The Erasure Hero decided to use the surefire way to shut him up. While Hizashi paused to drink some coffee, he stated monotonously, 'Let's get married.'

Mic drop.
(Both literally and figuratively, since Present Mic fell off his chair.)

Hizashi had done a spit take, which was why Shōta's clothes were now stained.

'Say what now?' said Hizashi while leaning closer. Surely Shōta hadn't just...

'I said, "let's get married",' deadpanned his crush, who was trying to dry up the excess coffee.

'Oh my god! Shōta? Are you under the weather? Are you okay? Did a cat die? Are your eyes too dry? Is-'

As he listened to Hizashi's concerned ramblings, Shōta double-checked that definitely didn't sign up for this when he was born.

He was tempted to just take a nap right then and there, but he hadn't taken his yellow sleeping bag with him today, and all he wanted was to go back to bed. Preferably without wet clothes. To achieve that goal, he had to make things clear.

'Mic,' he said wearily. 'Which part about getting married did you not understand?'

'I mean, I never even knew you were gay! And you're so cute! And then you suddenly say things to me like that... HOW IS MY HEART SUPPOSED TO COPE WITH THIS?! Oh my god, am I dead? I'm in heaven, right? I-'

Shōta regretted being born. 'So. We're getting married right now. Any questions?'

Hizashi stopped his nervous speech and blinked a few times. 'Shouldn't we at least date first?'

'We're practically married anyway,' said Shōta evenly.

'But you never confessed your love to me before! Shōtaaaa! You're so mean! I love you!'

Shōta felt like activating his quirk to shut the idiot up, but decided that he would rather save his eye drops for more important times. 'If I ever confessed, your ego would be even more unbearable. Your sunglasses would crack because it couldn't possibly contain you.'

Hizashi was struck dumb by that comment. But since he couldn't conveniently play some music as he would at the radio station, he had to keep talking like a good radio host that was too shocked to be coherent. 'But... We're best friends! Our relationship before now was strictly platonic!'

It wasn't that he hated Shōta for returning his feelings. It was just that he would've liked it a lot more if he was the one who confessed first.

'Really?' Shōta opened his eyes fully to look at him, but half-closed it again because of the direct sunlight.

'Sure! I mean, we're good buddies! We go for movies sometimes,' started Hizashi.

'You drag me there, and I sleep the entire time.'

'We eat together!' tried Hizashi.

'Together with the other teachers.'

'We have sleepovers!'

'That happens almost every day, which proves my point. And one of those times ended with you fucking me into oblivion,' Shōta deadpanned. 'That isn't normal for best friends.'

'Sure it is!' said Hizashi after gasping dramatically. 'And I swear that one time happened only because I was drunk at the time!'

'Only because you were drunk?' repeated Shōta slowly, as if testing the words in his mouth.

For the first time that day, Shōta met Hizashi's eye. The Voice Hero felt dread creeping up to him, although he had no idea why.

Abruptly, Shōta stood up with the most energy he had in ages and immediately began walking away without his coffee (which he barely drank anyway).

Hizashi leaped up and started to intercept his escape route. 'Shōta! I meant-'

Shōta continued walking towards the coffee shop's exit.

He opened the door, but turned to Hizashi one last time. 'For the record, I was sober. Who did you think drove us home after you got kicked out of the bar?'

Then the door closed.

Hizashi was speechless (which was a cause for national celebration since that literally never happened before).

Love confession attempt #1: technically a success, but also not really.

Hizashi knew he did something wrong, but he had no idea what. So when he got home, he just knew that he needed to make up for his apparent lack of brain cells.

He wasn't too worried about the 'lacking brain cells' part, since Shōta was smart enough for both of them anyway. However, he was freaking out about the 'make up for' part.

But since Shōta was crashing at his place this week, he had many chances to make things right.

Hizashi wanted to decorate the place with balloons and spray paint and... Why not a Christmas tree for the heck of it? Might as well throw in some fireworks too! And...

Then Hizashi mentally stopped himself, because he was still a Pro Hero and Pro Heroes weren't stupid (usually).

Hizashi knew that Shōta liked everything to be subtle. Very, very, super, extremely subtle.

Shōta wouldn't accept anything more than subtle. Which was one of the most endearing and frustrating trait that Hizashi loved about him.

So, Hizashi began his plans for heroic redemption.

First off, prepare a healthy meal for Shōta for the whole week. Shōta hated cooking. Granted, Hizashi wasn't that great at it. But salad was healthy enough, right?

Secondly, let Shōta get more rest. He deserved it. Shōta deserved to have classical music play by his bed while he slept on a high-quality mattress with soft blankets. Granted, Shōta was sharing a bed with him, so everyone won. At least, that was what Hizashi thought until Shōta jolted awake one night with his capturing weapon crushing the speaker into bits. (To be fair, Haydn's Surprise Symphony wasn't his type of music, either.)

Thirdly, clean the house. Of course, the stuff Hizashi sorted was entirely his own, but who could blame him? Shōta basically lived in a sleeping bag and owned almost nothing else, after all.

Fourthly, buy some flowers. Those might be romantic, even though Hizashi couldn't see how. (It seemed like Shōta was unimpressed with them too.)

Lastly, create a new romantic music playlist to further elaborate on what his epic speeches could not. (Unfortunately, Shōta told him to stop playing it within the first ten minutes. And Shōta wasn't even awake for the first nine.)

Oh, wait. There was one more: buy more plates and forks and spoons and so on. Both of them were too lazy to wash the dishes, so Hizashi had to buy more, like a good boyfriend/lover/what-was-his-relationship-status-to-Shōta-oh-god-please-send-help.

He put a lot of effort into all that. So when Hizashi awoke one morning with a distinct lack of Aizawa Shōta in his bed, he panicked.

He was about to bust open his own door and shout bloody murder when he finally saw the neatly wrapped package on his desk.

'Open this,' the note on it said.

Inside, there was a new speaker and a post-it note attached to it saying:
'Mic, these are yours now. –Eraser'

In the package, there was also a plant care manual, an English travel guide of Paris, and a cookbook full of simple recipes.

Although it certainly didn't cost a fortune, it was almost definitely worth more than Shōta's monthly expenses. It brought a warm and fuzzy feeling to Hizashi's general chest area.

But he quickly realised that there was another note below everything.
'Don't buy any more dishes. It's a waste of money. By the way, your flowers are dying. –Eraser'

He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So he did both.

Eventually, he decided to label all the gifts as Shōta's way of saying 'I love you'.

Love confession attempt #2: success, somewhat.

Hizashi had dragged Shōta to his place again, to watch a movie.

He had no idea how they ended up watching a documentary about felines, but he wasn't about to complain, with Shōta's head leaning on his left shoulder. (He also wouldn't complain that his left shoulder was almost dislocated because of the weight.)

When the documentary ended, Shōta was surprisingly still awake.

'Now or never,' thought Hizashi.

'Shōta.'

His longtime crush/best friend/fiancé/it's-complicated turned to him.

'Shōta, I love you.'

Shōta frowned a little. 'Me too. I love me too.'

Hizashi excused himself to go to the bathroom to cry manly tears. He sorta-maybe-possibly shattered the bathroom mirror when he screamed in frustration.

Love confession attempt #3: success, but not quite.

Hizashi decided to invite himself to Shōta's place.

He was greeted by two kittens. Shōta didn't exactly adopt them, but he was nursing them back to health after he had first noticed them lying half-dead in a deserted alley.

Hizashi tried to pet the male kitten, but was attacked by its small paws.

He decided to leave it at that, and soon found Shōta sleeping. Of course.

'How did you get in?' asked Shōta, bleary-eyed, after Hizashi gently shook him to wake him up.

'You gave me your duplicate keys, remember?' Hizashi made a show of juggling the keys and making metal clang together in a weird rhythm. Shōta rolled his eyes mentally since he was far too tired to actually roll his eyes.

'Oh c'mon, Shōta! Can't you show me some love?' begged Hizashi. (He would never admit it, but he was getting desperate.)

Shōta sat up and considered it for a second. Then, he leaned down and picked up the kitten which had attacked Hizashi a few minutes ago.

'Here. Have a kitten.'

Hizashi hastily caught the kitten that was shoved onto his lap. He frowned at it thoughtfully.

The kitten seemed to share his sentiment. After some hissing, it bolted out of Hizashi's danger radius.

'Shōta, he doesn't like me.'

Shōta's eyelids were drooping, but he mumbled something incomprehensible.

'WHAT DID YOU SAY?' shouted Hizashi, accidentally using his quirk. Shōta's hair lifted up as he used Erasure on the Voice Hero.

Shōta sighed. 'I said, "spend more time together". Now get out. I'll be sleeping. And lock the doors.'

With that, Shōta slumped down and started to doze off.

'Okay,' said Hizashi quietly.

He was halfway out of the door when he realised something and started running back.

'Shōta? Spend more time together with the kitten, or with you?'

Unfortunately, Shōta didn't bother to wake up, no matter how hard Hizashi tried.

Love confession #4 (sort of?): interrupted by a villainous kitten.

Despite having to adhere to a strict schedule now, Hizashi felt pleased with himself. He had managed to give himself more free time, and he was spending every minute of it with Shōta.

Shōta, on the other hand, had productively decided that he was moving in with Hizashi once and for all to save up on monthly rent.

He never asked for Hizashi's permission, so Hizashi almost screamed on Friday night after being pounced on by two kittens in his own home. He almost screamed a second time when he saw Shōta had collapsed horizontally onto his bed.

So everything was fine, overall.

And Hizashi was trying to be a good person, so he made it his personal mission to befriend the adorable but horrible kittens.

It came to the point where Shōta didn't have to worry about the two balls of fur anymore.

Who cleans the litter box? Present Mic.
Who feeds the kittens? Present Mic.
Who provides scratching posts? Present Mic.
Who voluntarily became a scratching post and consequently got injured? Present Mic.
Who played with the kittens? Present Mic.
Who groomed them? Present Mic.
Who bathed them and almost used his quirk in the process? Present Mic.
Who did anything kitten-related? Present Mic.

So yeah. Hizashi saw his efforts as a success when the male kitten stopped hissing at him. The female kitten didn't care about Hizashi either way.

'Shōta!'

'What?' asked Shōta, bored.

'He likes me now!' said Hizashi theatrically as he lifted the kitten up and placed it down again. It purred softly.

Hizashi was on the verge of doing a victory dance. The kittens were more difficult to deal with than any villain he had encountered before.

Shōta shot them a careless glance before settling his gaze on Hizashi. 'Well, you are likeable.'

'So, you love me?' prompted Hizashi.

'That too.'

Love confession attempt #5 (kind of?): success, but only partially.

'Oh no. We're going to be late. We're going to be late!' repeated Hizashi as he paced around the room, searching for something.

He's bordering on madness, noted Shōta, for the dumbest of reasons.

'One hour's not enough for you?' asked Shōta while fighting back a yawn.

'No! I have no hair gel left! I won't have time to buy more and style my hair! I'm doomed! I-'

Shōta cut him off by walking towards the loveable dumbass and yanking his hair while dragging him to sit down.

'Stay,' Shōta commanded.

So Hizashi stayed there dumbly while Shōta walked out again.

When Shōta came back, he had Hizashi's comb and hair ties.

Before Hizashi could protest, Shōta started combing his long blond hair into something workable and tied it all up as a messy bun. 'There. We can go to school now.'

'But-' complained Hizashi.

'We go now. The sooner we get there, the sooner I get to sleep again.'

Hizashi really wanted to argue, but he was dragged out of the door in no time by an impatient homeroom teacher.

When they finally reached school, every single student (except Tenya, who was too respectful to gasp out loud) openly gaped at Present Mic's hairstyle and Nemuri started cackling while conspiratorially phoning Tensei.

Love confession attempt #6 (by Shōta?): success, but at what cost?

It had taken a month, but Hizashi felt that they were finally ready for the next step. (Meaning: Shōta was starting to get too comfortable in Hizashi's bed every morning. Hizashi envied his own bed.)

Shōta hadn't talked about his marriage proposal since that day at the coffee shop, so Hizashi wanted something more substantial this time.

He had picked out a ring and everything.

Which was why he forced himself through the awkwardness when he proposed to Shōta in front of the entire school.

So it began like this: he had knelt down on one knee, then suddenly realised the ring box wasn't in his pocket. OMG.

But radio show hosts had to be good at improv, right?

'Shōta, I had known you since we studied in U.A. and now we're both teachers and best friends and everything else in between. So...' He paused for dramatic effect. 'Will you marry me?'

(He had an entire speech planned out in his head. But after Shōta gazed down on him with his standard look of lethargy, his mouth ran dry and now he just wanted to get it over with.)

There was some muttering in the audience. Some very loud muttering in the audience. Very loud. Especially from Shōta's class, since Ashido was distributing caramel popcorn and Todoroki was tasked with keeping the drinks cool.

'No ring?' asked Shōta in a tired tone.

'I love you so much that I don't even need a ring to proclaim my love for you!' exclaimed Hizashi as he gestured dramatically at his heart. (Well, at least that was his excuse for why he didn't even have an engagement ring.)

Meanwhile, Bakugō had exploded his popcorn bucket and Midoriya was trying to help. But that started another argument, so Īda had to intervene with his strange chopping motions. But that made Bakugō even more fiery than usual, so Kirishima and Kaminari had to step in. And now everything was chaos.

Shōta was definitely not paid enough for everything bad in his life. Maybe he could ask Nedzu for a pay rise...?

Shōta sighed wearily in exasperation. 'You forgot about the rings, didn't you?'

'Of course not!' exclaimed Hizashi dramatically.

Shōta glared at him knowingly, and Hizashi deflated.

'Umm...' said the Voice Hero who was three seconds away from a mental breakdown.

'Enough.' Shōta reached into his capturing weapon and pulled out a necklace with two identical rings on it. It was basically just two round metal bands, but Hizashi knew that Shōta practically never wore jewellery.

Hizashi gasped extra-dramatically. 'You mean...'

Shōta removed one ring from his necklace and tossed it to him. Hizashi fumbled to catch it (he very nearly didn't).

'Wear it,' deadpanned Shōta.

'Wow. Shōta, I...'

'Just wear it, Mic,' repeated Shōta irritably. His eyes were getting dry and there was a riot among the audience to kick out Mineta Minoru.

'Or do you not want to marry me?' Shōta sighed when Hizashi still kneeled there, dumbfounded.

'Of course I wanna marry you!' replied Hizashi hastily as he slipped the ring onto his finger. 'Hey, it fits!'

'Of course it does,' muttered Shōta.

'Huh?'

But Shōta wasn't paying attention to Hizashi anymore. He was assessing the situation, mainly the cordless leaf blower Yaoyorozu had created to blow away the purple sticky balls when Mineta threw them furiously into the air.

Hizashi stood up and snapped his fingers in front of Shōta to draw his attention. Unfortunately, he failed to provoke his official fiancé into any sort of response.

It took another five minutes before Shōta managed to calm everyone in the audience down, including a crying Nemuri who was 'just so happy you guys finally...' and the teachers who didn't know whether to congratulate Shōta or give Nemuri tissues first.

Shōta also had to remind Nedzu that he was supposed to set a good example for the students. The principal had been sipping tea while maniacally laughing at the students the whole time. (Nedzu was a nice principal, but he sometimes forgot that his main role was to educate the students and not just toy with them.)

Hizashi sighed. 'This is significantly less romantic than what I had planned.' His voice was softer than usual, which Shōta attributed to slight disappointment.

But Shōta was not about to comfort him with sweet nothings. Hizashi could go deal with it himself.

After a few more seconds of thought, though, Shōta gave in. 'Mic, anything you do in front of the entire school is not going to be romantic at all.'

'What if-'

'No.'

'Aww!' Hizashi pouted.

They stood there for a moment in relative silence, but were interrupted by Mineta's ungodly shriek when Hagakure invisibly did something to him.

'But seriously though, I love you, Shōta,' said Hizashi sincerely, although still a bit dramatically.

'I love you too, Hizashi,' mumbled Shōta as he headed towards the audience to threaten to expel his students again.

'Oh my god. Please repeat that!' said Hizashi from behind him. Present Mic was pretending to swoon.

'Never.'

Love confession attempt #7: success.