She heard beeping from her alarm and groaned, feeling entirely disconnected from her body. It couldn't be time to wake up yet; she was still so tired. She heard the beep again, realizing that instead of a constant quick beeping it was spaced out, a patterned beeping. Her brow furrowed in confusion. She tried to move but her body wasn't ready to respond yet. The beep sounded again, and she sighed, determined to open her eyes at least. It was bright enough that it had to be morning.
Her eyes had trouble adjusting to the brightness of the room. After a few moments, she realized the brightness had nothing to do with the time of day but instead the fluorescent lights in the ceiling that illuminated the room. Her face pinched in confusion and she looked around, trying to make sense of her surroundings. She was in a strange bed and there was a machine next to her on one side. That's where the beeping was coming from.
Hospital? What am I doing in a hospital?
She wondered why every thought felt thick and delayed, like she was thinking through mud. Coherent thoughts were hard to come by. Not impossible, but tedious and tiring, making her less inclined to try. She knew it wasn't usually this way. Something happened, but she couldn't make sense of it. There was a noise from her right side, and she realized that the machine beeping next to her wasn't the only thing in the room.
Two men stood to her right, staring at her. The one with short hair was tall, but the one with long hair was even taller. She realized quickly that he was gigantic, and she wondered why they were in the room with her. They both looked worried. She heard a noise to her left, realizing there was someone else there, too. A third man with dark hair, looking at her as though he might cry. As she made eye contact with him, he stepped forward, and her heart immediately reacted out of fear. The beeping on the monitor increased, and all three men looked to it. The dark-haired man stepped back, looking concerned.
"Are you okay?" he asked her.
She gave a small nod; not entirely true but not entirely wrong. She felt sore and her left arm was throbbing. When she glanced down, she noticed it was in a cast from her elbow to her hand. The dark-haired man stepped forward again and her heart lurched, sending the beeping to a rapid status once again.
"Maybe just give her some space," the short-haired man said.
The dark-haired man paused, nodded, and backed away again, the beeping slowing to a steadier pace.
"What's going on? Are you scared of something?" he asked her, and she didn't respond.
She didn't know what was happening, but any movement closer from any of them seemed scary. They weren't doctors, and she wasn't sure why they were with her. They all kept staring at her and it was starting to freak her out.
"I didn't even see the car," the short-haired man said. "I'm so sorry. Then someone called 911 and you were unconscious, and the ambulance showed up quick. They took you before we could stop them. There wasn't time to get you fixed up before they got there."
She stared back at him in confusion, unclear on what he was talking about. It didn't make sense why they didn't want her brought to a hospital if she was in an accident. Her arm was in a cast so it must be broken. She didn't understand why he made it sound like they could have fixed that. The giant one looked at her in a way that made her feel exposed, like he knew things about her.
"Oh, shit," the giant said suddenly. "When they brought her in, I mean, we didn't…" he drifted off and the short-haired man seemed to understand.
"Oh, right. Go tell a nurse or doctor, I'll stay here."
The dark-haired man continued staring at her the entire time. She felt equally exposed under his gaze, which remained steady and unchanging. She wasn't even sure if he was blinking.
"I can take care of this for you," he told her, looking at her arm. "Once you're feeling up to it, of course. I don't want to overwhelm you."
She wasn't sure what he meant by taking care of her arm. It was already in a cast. Unsure of what else to do, she looked to the short-haired man. He looked tense and unsettled, his jaw clenched and a hard look in his eyes. She got the impression he wasn't looking that way because of her, though, or at least nothing she had done.
"Cas, why don't you wait in the hall for a bit," he said, and the dark-haired man on her left tilted his head.
"Why would I do that?"
"Just, because—I don't know," the short-haired man replied, seeming defeated.
The giant came back in followed closely by a doctor who helped adjust the bed to sit her up.
"Hi there, I'm Dr. McMahon, can you tell me your name?"
"I'm…" was as far as she got.
She tried to answer, she really did. She frowned at the confusion and glanced back to the doctor.
"Sorry, my name is…"
The doctor looked at her, expression full of concern but her voice and tone professional and reassuring, as though it was completely normal.
"Don't worry too much about that. Does your head hurt anywhere?"
She shook her head.
"That's good, it's a good sign. I'm just waiting for them to bring in an ultrasound then we'll take a look. Are you feeling any other confusion from the accident? Given your condition, we can give you Tylenol for the pain."
"Confusion? Condition?" she responded.
"Can you tell me who any of these gentlemen are?"
She looked at each of them before looking back at the doctor, shaking her head slightly.
"I don't know any of them," she said.
"What? What do you mean you don't know us?" the short-haired one asked, sounding angry.
"It's okay, don't worry," the doctor told her. "We'll have someone from neuro come by, figure out what's going on. I don't want to put you through too much imaging unless we absolutely have to, given the circumstances."
"What circumstances?" the voice on the left asked.
She looked over at him, the dark-haired man. The one called Cas. She frowned, confused by his name, confused by his concern, confused by his confusion. Everything was…confusing. Another hospital worker brought in a machine and the doctor wheeled it around.
"Hey, Cas, whatever happens, you gotta promise to stay calm," the giant said.
"Stay calm? What do you mean?" Cas asked as he watched the doctor turn on the machine.
"You all need to leave the room while I do this," she said, and the three men reluctantly left.
The doctor pulled a curtain around them, allowing for a little more privacy.
"If there's anything you need to tell me, you can," she said gently.
No response.
"Okay, well if you change your mind…"
When the doctor still got no answer, she sighed and began her exam. The doctor told her what she was going to do every step of the way so there were no surprises.
"You're about ten weeks along, your friend said."
"Ten weeks?"
"Yup."
"Ten weeks along for what?"
The doctor furrowed her brow as she stared at the screen, finally pointing to an image.
"There! There's your baby."
"My what?"
"They've already paged neuro to get down here. What do you remember?"
She thought for a minute, trying to remember anything, but there was nothing.
"I…don't remember anything. I'm having a baby?"
The doctor gave her a sad smile.
"You are, and your baby looks completely fine. Still sitting low, protected by your pelvis. In a couple more weeks that won't be the case, but it doesn't look like the accident caused any harm. If you want me to send your friends away for now, I can tell them you need to rest."
She shook her head, not wanting to be alone. Not remembering anything felt lonely enough, at least the men might be able to tell her things about herself. They came back in after the doctor left, Cas going back to her left while the other two split off to her right again.
"How are you feelin'?" the short-haired one asked.
She sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
"I don't really know. Okay, I guess, but this sucks. I don't know who I am, I don't know who you all are, I don't remember anything about anything, and the doctor just said I'm having a baby. It's kind of a lot to handle."
She heard Cas made a strange noise.
"Uh, yeah. I'm Dean, by the way," the man introduced. "This is my brother, Sam, and that's Cas," he continued.
"Who am I?"
"Elena."
"We're friends?"
Dean smiled and laughed a little.
"Usually. Although I tend to piss people off on a pretty regular basis, so not always."
Elena offered a small smile in return.
"Elena, you're…you're pregnant?" Cas asked her.
"I guess."
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, the hurt evident in his voice.
Elena looked at him with confusion, then glanced over to Dean and Sam. They didn't seem surprised about the pregnancy. They exchanged looks before Dean answered gruffly.
"Why do you think, Cas? She was scared."
"Why would she be scared?" he asked Dean, then looked at her. "Why were you scared?"
Elena shrugged, unsure of why she didn't tell him if he was her friend. She didn't understand why Sam and Dean knew, and why they said she was scared. None of it made any sense.
Maybe that's why he's upset, because I didn't tell him, but I told them. Why would I be scared to tell him, though?
Cas stared at her with wide eyes.
"Are you kidding me? Probably because you keep talking about Nephilim being abominations and that you're going to murder them!"
Elena's eyes widened at Dean's volume as she looked over at Cas. He looked entirely confused by what Dean said, not angry, and not like he was on the verge of murdering anyone. It didn't make sense that they would all be friends with him if he was a murderer, unless she was also a murderer. Maybe they were all murderers. She wasn't sure about the accuracy of that. She didn't feel like a murderer. It probably would have made sense if she could remember. She didn't understand what Dean was talking about. Before she could speak, Cas replied.
"What do Nephilim have to do with this?"
Sam, who had been watching the exchange silently, decided to speak.
"Cas, you…you have to be honest with us, okay? The night Elizabeth and Kayla were killed, Elena said she woke up in the middle of the night and you were gone."
Cas paused for a moment before looking down, his expression unreadable. She wondered who Elizabeth and Kayla were, and why they had been murdered. Maybe she was a murderer after all, like an assassin, or in a gang. She was pretty sure it wasn't normal for murder to be such a conversation topic.
"Cas, what did you do? Where were you?" Sam questioned.
"I cannot answer that."
"Can't, or won't? Listen, we need to know. Are…did you kill them?"
Elena pressed her back into the hospital bed, shifting toward the right, toward Sam and Dean. Even if they were in a gang, that didn't mean she wanted to be near an accused murderer, especially since it sounded like Sam was worried Cas had killed Elizabeth and Kayla. If they were in a gang, they probably had orders to kill some people. She was getting the vibe those women were not supposed to be killed. Cas looked up suddenly at Sam, confusion turning to anger.
"What? No, of course not! How could you ask me that?"
"Oh, gee, I don't know, Cas. Maybe because you spent the whole day before telling us you were going to eliminate the abominations. How do you not get why Elena was scared to talk to you about the baby?" Dean said.
"I don't understand what one has to do with the other," Cas replied, his voice weary.
"She thought you were gonna kill the baby!" Dean shouted.
Cas recoiled in horror, looking from Dean to Sam, searching for any signs they didn't mean it. When he found none, he looked at Elena. She was pressed away from him still, scared about what was going on. It was all too much to take in.
"How could you think that?"
He looked heartbroken, and Elena felt even more confused.
Just what the hell kind of life was I living?
She didn't think it was possible, but he looked even sadder suddenly.
"Why would she think you'd spare this Nephilim just because you're the father?"
He's the father? What?
Elena's breath caught in her throat, her body paralyzed until an alarm from one of the machines started beeping, snapping her out of it. They all looked at the monitor, seeing the evidence of her pulse racing and her heart beating erratically clearly on the screen. The numbers returned to normal as she started breathing again.
"I don't know where to begin," Cas said, shaking his head.
"Are you gonna try to kill the baby? I say try, because honestly I don't care what we've been through, man, we're not letting anything happen to her or the kid," Dean said protectively.
"I would never harm…the baby. Nor Elena. You're wrong, about the baby."
"What do you mean, Cas?" Sam asked, glancing over at Elena.
"It's not a Nephilim."
Elena had listened without speaking for as long as she could take, having fought the urge to scream and yell and run away for the last five minutes. There was too much going on with too little context. Almost everything these guys were saying was going over her head, and she felt like she was trapped on a soap opera.
"Okay, stop! I don't know what the hell you're all talking about. You," she said to Cas, "keep asking me questions and talking to me like I remember anything. I don't know anything!"
Dean smirked, and Elena held up a finger and pointed at him.
"And you keep talking to him about stuff with me that I don't understand, as if I can follow anything that you're saying! You guys are all talking about people being murdered and murdering other people. Are we assassins? Are we in a gang? And will someone tell me what the hell is a Nephilim?"
She was out of breath by the time she finished, and everyone stayed silent as she regained control. After a few minutes, Cas looked at her.
"A Nephilim is the child of an angel and a human," he explained.
"What? That doesn't even make sense. Why would I think I was carrying a Nephilim?"
Cas nodded in agreement.
"Exactly, I'm confused about why you thought that as well."
"Angels aren't even real," Elena continued.
Cas, Dean, and Sam all stared at her, and she shifted uncomfortably under their collective gaze.
"Elena, I am an angel," Cas said.
Elena burst out laughing, stopping as she realized he was serious. She looked at Dean and Sam, who looked equally as serious.
"What?"
"I'm an angel," Cas repeated.
"But…"
"Right, and she's human, so that makes the baby a Nephilim," Dean said.
"She's not human, though," Cas replied, looking at Dean. "She's a unicorn."
Elena wanted to laugh again, but it was clear they were all serious. Icy fear spread through her body as she looked at these men who claimed to be her friends and the father of her child. She didn't know anything about them, other than that they were clearly all insane.
What if they're the ones who made me lose my memory? How would I even know? They could have kidnapped me and done this to me, oh, my God.
Cas frowned at her and looked like he was about to say something. The beeping on the machine started again, the numbers for her heart rate and blood pressure flashing.
"Elena, calm down," Sam said, stepping toward her and reaching for her shoulder.
She flinched away from him, fearful.
"I'm not a unicorn, I'm a human. You guys are all crazy, what have you done to me?" she whispered shakily.
"Elena—" Sam started to say, but she interrupted.
"Get away, get away, get away!" she shouted, and they all took a step back.
Dean looked toward the door worriedly.
"Elena, we're not crazy! We don't know why you don't remember anything, but we're telling you the truth!" Dean said. "Calm down! We can't help you if they kick us out."
Elena shook her head, her body trembling with fear. The machine was still beeping, and she decided she was going to start shouting for help. As if he sensed her thoughts, Cas stepped toward her and held up his hands.
"Elena, don't. Look at my wings," he told her.
The request was strange enough that she snapped out of her panic and looked at him, confused.
"Your what?"
"My wings," he repeated. "You can see them because you are a unicorn. Dean and Sam are unable to perceive them as they exist in this dimension, but you have always been able to see them. Just look, please," he implored.
The machine stopped beeping as she looked at him, debating whether she should look as he requested. She glanced to either side of him.
"I don't see anything."
"Focus on the area, don't just rush past. Look carefully. I know you can do this."
Elena furrowed her brow and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. When she opened them again, she looked to the right of him. As she stared for a few seconds, she noticed the air seeming to shift and waver a little, like a mirage on the road on a hot day. As she continued to watch the spot, she saw a huge wing come into focus.
"Oh, my God," she whispered.
"Not exactly," Dean told her, and Cas shot him a look.
"You guys don't see this?" she asked Dean and Sam, leaning forward to reach for Cas's wing with her good arm.
He stepped forward to make it easier for her, and she gently stroked some of the feathers. He shifted a little and swallowed hard.
"Looks like you're fondling air to us," Dean said.
"Dean, really?" Sam said.
Before they could continue talking, there was a knock on the door and a doctor walked in.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Andrews from Neuro, Dr. McMahon wanted me to come and take a look at you. Gentleman, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," he said to Cas, Dean, and Sam.
Elena gave a small nod, and they left the room.
She was frustrated when the hospital insisted on keeping her overnight for observation. The neuro exam yielded no answers about her memory loss, and she was frustrated and scared. After seeing Cas's wings, she believed him about being an angel, as crazy as it sounded. She even believed when they told her how she came to be in human form. They explained about the search in Massachusetts that was literally a dead end. It was disorienting to hear about, especially because she didn't feel any connection to it. She didn't feel connected to much of anything.
Dean and Sam left after a few hours to get some food and go to a motel for the night. Dean's car was getting fixed and would be ready to go the next day, just like her. Cas stayed with her and did his best to answer all her questions. Sam had shown her pictures of all of them together, including one of her and Cas that he had taken a couple months prior. She saw how happy the two of them looked in it. The pictures helped reassure her that they probably were telling the truth about everything. She was still concerned that they might be lying, so she remained cautious and observant for anything that didn't make sense. If it was a lie, it was an impossibly elaborate one.
After she asked Cas about all other parts of her life she could think of, Elena fell silent, biting her lip as she thought about how to bring up the subject she had been avoiding. She didn't know how to talk with him about the fact that they were in some sort of relationship. It felt awkward to say, and she was nervous about asking for details. She noticed Cas smiling at her.
"What?" she asked, and he shook his head a little.
"Nothing. Well, nothing big, anyway. It's just…you always do that when you're thinking," he explained.
"Do what?"
"Bite your lip like that. It's nice to see you doing that."
"Like maybe I'm not lost forever?"
He frowned at her comment and tone.
"You're not lost at all."
"It feels like it, not being able to remember anything. I mean, even the doctors can't figure out why the accident caused this."
Cas frowned again and looked away. After a couple minutes of silence, he looked back at her, cautious.
"If you'd like, I can try to see what's going on," he offered carefully.
"How would you do that?"
"I can look into your mind."
"Will it hurt?"
"It shouldn't. If there's an injury the doctors cannot find, I should be able to heal it, as well. If it's something else, I will be able to see."
Elena bit her lip again, still a little unsure. She sighed and nodded, finally relenting.
"Okay."
Cas put his hands on her temples, and she felt her heart start racing a little at his closeness. Unlike earlier, she knew it had nothing to do with fear. She looked into his eyes for a few seconds before closing hers, her internal reaction too overwhelming and confusing to be allowed to continue. She felt warmth from his hands on the sides of her head and a gentle white light filled her mind before an intense red light pierced through. Cas was flung backward into a wall at the same time, and Elena opened her eyes quickly, looking at him with concern.
"Was that supposed to happen?"
He shook his head as he stood up and adjusted his clothes.
"No. Not at all."
"What could have caused it?"
"I'm not sure, but something is blocking part of your mind. Something is in there that shouldn't be."
"Am I…is it safe? I mean, is that why I can't remember? Is it going to hurt me?"
Cas looked worried but shook his head.
"You will be fine. It's getting late, though, and I should let you rest. I'll let Dean and Sam know, and we'll figure it out. For now, you should sleep."
He was gone before she could say anything else, and with nothing else to do, Elena went to sleep.