There were no two ways around it.
Lincoln Loud was a pervert.
Three months shy of twelve and already feeling the outer bands of puberty like a man standing on the edge of a desert and baking in the heat it produced, Lincoln was mostly normal. He loved video games, devoured superhero comics, and loved fantasy and science fiction. He and his best friend Clyde went to conventions in elaborate cosplay costumes cobbled together from various things they had on hand, and when they met up on Saturday afternoons, they chilled, rode bikes, and talked about girls.
If you asked Lincoln why he was such a freak, he would blame Clyde. Clyde, the adopted son of two lovely gay men whom the whole town loved and respcted, spent his first seven years in a type of orphanage where wards of the state who had nowhere else to go were sent by overworked social workers and indifferent judges. Clyde lived with ten other boys, many of them older, and was surrounded by locker room talk from an early age. By four, he'd forgotten more about sex than most people ever learn, and at six, he started playing doctor with a little red-haired girl who, Clyde said, was precocious and had likely been molested by her parents.
Okay, wow, that's fucked up, but okay.
Clyde would regale him with stories of how he and this girl put their hands and mouths all over each other. At first, Lincoln was disgusted, but over time, as Clyde relived the experience over and over again, he became intrigued. I mean...it is kind of hot, he thought. The closest he had ever come to that was a girl named Maddie flashing him her pussy when they were both seven. He remembered being endlessly fascinated by it. Why do you have a butt on your front? he asked.
She shugged. I dunno. Same reason you do, I guess.
I don't have a butt. I have a weiner.
Can I see it?
He whipped out his eggs and bacon and Maddie lightly prodded his sack with her finger. It feels weird.
That was the end of it. At the time, Lincoln didn't really care, but looking back, he sorely wished things had gone further. Sometimes, he imagined what would have happened if it had. He pictured Maddie getting down on her knees and giving him sloppy, slobbery head until he injected her throat with 10 million little Louds. After she swallowed and licked her lips, she got down on her hands and knees and he fucked her raw right in her front yard for all the other kids to see. She clawed at the ground like a charging bull and Lincoln slammed his wee-wee deep into her pelvis. He didn't know what pussy felt like but he imagined it was the most amazing thing on earth.
That fantasy was routine, but the ones that he developed later were a little more, ahem, bizarre. He and Clyde watched a porn on Clyde's phone once and the girl had the cutest little butt hole. It was pink, puckered, and looked so freaking tight. From that day on, Lincoln would often imagine sticking his finger into girls' butts, sometimes while they masturbated and other times jwhile they stood there with their skirts up and blushes on their faces. No matter the scenario, it always ended with him licking their butts and pounding off, always splattering his load on their ankles and the backs of their legs. A few times, he pictured Stella and Jordan sitting on his face and making him lick their buttholes until they came all over his chin. Girls cum, right? Like..kind of the same as boys? He didn't know, but in his daydreams, they did; they gushed candy-tasting liquid from their pussis and he guzzled every drop.
Another thing that did it for him was fursuits. It wasn't about wanting to fuck an animal, but he liked the idea of a girl's identity being concealed even as he smashed her. It was the glory hole principle. He used a variation of us all the time in his fantasies. His favorite was walking up to a hole in a wall and there's some random girl's butt sticking out. He would fuck her from behind and only she would know who she was.
Whew.
Talk about spicy.
Over the course of months, he checked out every fetish and philia PornHub would allow and discovered that he was into most of them, from balloons to inflation to tits so big the woman's back couldn't support them. Cucking was hot af too. Shit, anything involving a cute girl was good, though he drew the line at scat and piss drinking. Oh, also blood play. Some things are just not hot, no matter how horny you are.
And he was horny. Girls and sex were never far from his mind. When he wasn't occupied with school work or something else that required steady concentration, his head would wander into daydreams of him doing unspeakable things to girls...and girls doing unspeakable things to him. He constructed cum-soaked fantasies where Jordan spanked him and he spanked Stella, where Ronnie Anne dressed in leather and latex and ordered him around, where he made Lisa's friend Darcy crawl around like a dog and take load after load to her pretty little face. He would follow girls around in school and sniff the air around them, getting hard at their scent, then he'd pound off to porn five or six times at home. A few times, he got out of the shower, went into the hallway, and contrived to have his towel "accidentally" fall off so that his sisters could see him. He wasn't interested in them sexually (the incest obsession would come later), but the idea of being seen turned him on.
He did the same at school to other boys. He'd be pissing at the urinal when Poppa Wheelie would roll up. What up, Loud? he'd ask.
Lincoln would turn to him, dick in hand, and nod. Hey, dude, how's it going?
BRO! PUT THAT THING AWAY!
Lincoln was not gay (tho traps and femboys were kinda hot); he just got off on people seeing his junk.
When he wasn't hanging with Clyde or playing games, he was looking up hentai, watching dirty animes about horny little schoolgirls, and reading lewd fan fiction of his favorite properties. The fic where Ace dresses One-Eye Jack as a woman and bangs him out was worth two faps, and the pics of Sandy from Spongebob with massive, swollen breasts got him off once or twice a day. He loved big tiddy goff porn, the thicc'r the better. Big boobs, big thighs, big butt - oof, yes, please.
As time wore on, Lincoln's tastes got stranger.
The first time he thought about doing something with one of his sisters happened almost by accident. It was early on a Tuesday morning and he was pounding off in the shower when Lori came in to pee. He normally would have stopped but he was almost there and couldn't. He randomly thought of what it would be like if Lori pulled the curtain back and took over for him, and he shot the biggest load of his life against the wall. It kept coming and coming, and his body bucked and jerked. His knees went weak and he almost collapsed.
From that moment, Lincoln knew that the 'cest popped his pickle.
For a while, he told himself that the vague idea of incest appealed to him, not speciically the idea of him committing incest with his sisters. He tried not to check them out and largely succeeded, but sometimes he got himself staring at Lynn's tight little butt or Leni's tiny breasts. The latter were so tasty, so suckable. For reasons he could not fathom, he figured that her nipples were pink and puffy, and that they would respond to the slightest stimulation. Lynn's were probably brown, and if you sucked them while fingering her, she'd clamp around her hand and cum with a cry. Lola's were pink and delicate just like her, and Luan's...they were probably kinda brown too.
Sometimes while he was polishing the one eyed gopher, he would think of a hot girl he'd seen at school or the park and pretend that they were related. He tried to think of Leni once, but it was too weird and he stopped. When he thought about his first cousin Emily, though, his dick exploded after one tug. Emily was...you know, he couldn't remember whose daughter she was. They were closely related at any rate. Kin or not, Lincoln had always thought she was hot with her big tiddies, dark hair, and blue eyes. After doing the fool while thinning of her standing on her hand and tongue fucking his dick head, he messaged her on Snapchat and they talked for a few days. He wanted her to send him nudes but he wasn't brave enough to come right out and ask. They did a video chat and unbeknownst to her, he was pulling his pud under the table
A few days later, he and Clyde were watching some hot tentacle porn, both rock hard, when Clyde suggested they jack each other off. Lincoln's dick shot up into his stomach and he leapt to his feet. "Ight, I'mma head out," he said.
"Hey, man, I was just saying…"
On the way home, Lincoln ducked into some bushes and gave himself a handy while thinking of Lola. This time, he got super erect and shot his wad so hard that it flew out of the bush and landed in a gummy little pool on the sidewalk. Holy God, did his soul come out too? Because that was good.
Before that day, Lincoln didn't pay any special attention to his bratty little sister, but afterward she became his queen. He thought about her constantly, and followed her around the house from afar like a lion stalking its prey. The way she stuck her nose in the air and swept through the living room like royalty drove him crazy, and her frilly pink femininity got him harder than understanding Finnegans Wake.
In the beginning, he didn't approach her or treat her any differently than he usually did. He had no reason to; his plan was to spank off to her every chance he got, but nothing more. Then one day, Lori was being a bitch about doing everyone's laundry and Lincoln stepped up because his shit needed washing; all of his undies were crusted with coom and if he didn't get a fresh pair, he'd have to free ball...which meant his pants would get covered in spunk. It's easy to hide that stuff when its on your briefs, but much, much harder to hide it when its on your jeans like a damning scarlet letter. He carried an overfull hamper down to the basement and dumped it into the washer. He started to add detergent but stopped when he spotted a pair of Lola's pantis on top. They were pink and girly and something came over Lincoln. He snatched them out, pressed them to his nose, and took a big whiff.
The heavenly musk of his little sister's snatch filled his nostrils and his mouth began to water. A shiver went through him and right then, he decided that he had to smell Lola up close and personal.
Shoving the panties into his pants, he finished his task and stole upstairs, where he sniffed his new treasure while masturbating furiously. The next day, he sole another pair and wore it around his face like a medical mask. His hand and his dick did not social distance, however. The fifth time around, he threw Lola's panties on the bed and humped the dog shit out of them. Once they were soaked in his baby batter, he balled them up and threw them under his bed.
This went on for nearly a month. He'd sneak a pair of Lola's undies from the hamper, have his way with, then fill it to the brim with Disco Fluid and stash it under his bed. One day he went down to the basement to grab a freshly soiled pair and skidded to a halt. Lola was half in the washing machine, her little tush stuck out like a bitch in heat. Her dress pulled up and Lincoln's heart launched out of his mouth and across the room: Her perfect, pink little heart-shaped butt was bare, and from where he stood, he could make out the juicy thing between her legs. His dick sprouted like a mighty beanstalk and he almost took her right there. "Ugh, where are my underwear?" she asked herself.
Under my bed, baby girl, full of ooo because I can't fuck you.
Hey, that rhymed, lol.
He had the sudden compulsion to run up and goose her. You know what that is? When you shove your nose between someone's butt cheeks. Your pretty, dainty little pussy makes me wanna launch a rocket like my name is Kim Jong Un. He could do it, too, just grab her hips and dry hump her butt. It would only take a minute tops.
Lincoln's mind cast about for a convincing excuse but couldn't find one. Lola was blonde and girlish but she wasn't dumb. She'd know she had just been violated in some form or fashion and squawk about it to Mom and Dad.
The word violated put him off too and he thankfully came to his senses. He had fapped to rape fantasy shit a few times but he couldn't actually do that to someone, especially one of his sisters. If it was roleplay, well, that was different, but straight up rape.
Sigh.
Leave it to me to be a pervert with morals.
Lincoln's lowest point came when he found himself sniffing one of Lola's high heels and fucking a crude sex toy he made out of a plastic Pepsi bottle and Astroglide. Feet had quickly become one of his staple fetishes; women's arches were so sexy that he wanted to straight up fuck one. He had collected a whole terabyte of foot porn - mainly stuff where women jerk dudes off with their feet - and he had begun stealing all of his sisters' socks. He wore them over his dick and wanked into them. His sisters were in an uproar because their foot condoms were all missing and Mom and Dad were getting pissed because suddenly their daughters were blowing through socks and underwear like a Democrat through other people's money. His fetishes were literally tearing his family apart, and here he was with his nose buried in someone's shoe and his cock thrust deep into a recyclable.
He had to do something.
This couldn't go on.
His first thought was stop being such an absolute sexual deviant. He went cold turkey and stopped depositing his boy milk into articles of his sisters' clothing. For a long, hellacious week, he didn't sniff socks or panties and he didn't stare at Lola's body.
Yeah, that didn't last. He had a major relapse on Sunday night, buried himself in a pile of his sisters' dirty laundry, and whacked for all that he was worth.
It was then that he finally, at long last, made up his mind.
He was going to have sex with his sisters. He was going to build a harem like the kinds in the animes he watched. He could see himself now: Surrounded by a bevy of naked teenage and prepubescent girls who worshipped his cock and let him do anything he wanted to them. He could add to it forever - Cristina, Jordan, Ronnie Anne, Stella, Ms. Johnson, that thicc girl from the gas station - but his girls would remain loyal to him and him alone. No more of this Sam is so rockin bullshit, no more Chaz is totes sweet. They would live for him and him alone, no one else.
The first step was admitting he wanted a harem and dedicating himself to the creation thereof. The next was laying out a plan for actually doing it. He figured that his younger sisters would be easier to get onboard, so he'd start with them. He'd leave Lily out because he wasn't into babies and Lana and Lisa because one was filth personified and the other was simply unattractive. Maybe he'd let them join one day, but for right now they weren't getting any of this dick. Should have bathed every once in a while, Lana. And Lisa Lisa...let's hope you inherit Mom's thiccness, otherwise you'll forever be a cucked outsider begging to share in the special thing your siblings enjoy but is denied to you.
God, that was so freaking hot.
Cucking rules.
With his bold idea in mind, he started researching human psychology and learning mind hacks that would all but ensure his sisters fell for him. He read How to Win Friends and Influence People three times in a row, and watched a ton of YouTube videos on the subject. He joined online forums, subscribed to email lists, and even went to the sole remaining brick and mortar bookstore in Royal County to pick up a stack of books. The place was empty save for a few old people and a bunch of fat, unattractive women buying Fifty Shades of Grey rip-off porn. Lincoln had been in some sad and anemic places in his life, but this glorified graveyard took the cake. Who tf reads anymore? No one, that's who. Reading is gay and if you do it you're automatically uncool.
He bought his books and went home where he spent the next two days being uncool.
It would take time, he figured, but it would be worth it in the end.
As it turned out, it took him two months before he was ready to begin putting his plan into motion. He started spending more time with Lola, offering to do things for her and treating her well...in a totally brother-like way, of course. He held doors open for her, laid his coat down so that she could walk over small puddles, he even made her plate for her at dinner. His plan was twofold. One, he wanted Lola to become completely relaxed around him. Two, he wanted to get her used to the idea of sex and romance. Conspiracy theorists believe that the 9/11 attacks were preceded by decades of predictive programming - media that showed the Twin Towers being destroyed or in distress - so condition them to accept it when it happened. In that scenario, the attacks were carried out by the US government in a bid for more power. The people, like they were, needed to be nice and tenderized before it went down, that way they'd be...idk, so brainwashed that they wouldn't fight back against the Patriot Act or something. Ahh, how quaint that act seems by modern standards.
Anyway, Lincoln wanted Lola nice and tender, so he talked a lot about butts and stuff around her. He contrived to leave a porn magazine out where they could find it, and then when she predictably said, "Ew, gross," he casually said I hear it feels good.
He did a bunch of other stuff too, but that doesn't matter; a good magician never reveals his secrets. Long story short, he worked his plan and started making head way. One night, after a pageant, Lola said her feet hurt, so he rubbed them, being as sensual as possible without verge into outright sexual territory. Lola turned to a quaking puddle of jelly under his ministrations, and when he grazed his nails over her scalp, she was his to command.
Gradually, he started to get more bold. He would "accidentally'' touch her butt and stroke his hands up her legs as he kneaded her sexy little feet. He had to be careful not to go too far over the line, and made sure not to touch her every time he saw her. That might look sus. He kind of needed to, though. You can't chip away the stone if you don't swing the hammer a few times. What he needed was a seemingly innocuous way to get all up in Lola's shit.
And that way turned out to be tickling.
Lola was ticklish and would thrash, laugh, and scream if you tickled her. It wouldn't seem strange to her or anyone else if he started randomly tickling her. The others did it sometimes just to mess with her, and despite her cries and protestations, she enjoyed it. Some people do, though Lincoln didn't know why. He hated being tickled. One time Lynn and her butt buddy Margo held him down and tickled him until he pissed himself, then they somehow wound up going full WWE on him: Lynn hit him with an atomic leg drop and Margo did a shooting star press off the desk that left him with blood in his urine for a week.
Where was he?
Oh, yeah, tickling Lola. He did it a few times and all was good: She thrashed and laughed and a good time was had by all. To the outside observer, he looked like a normal older brother messing around with his sister. Little did anyone know that Lincoln Loud was fifty shades of fucked up and had devious intentions for (most of) the girls in his life.
He spent so much time on these plans that he barely saw his brother-in-arms Clyde. They ate lunch together every day at school but otherwise, Lincoln was too busy for the floppy-eared black boy. "You've been really preoccupied lately," Clyde said one Saturdy afternoon as they sat on a bench at the park and oogled girls. "What's up?"
Lincoln hesitated. He and Clyde were fellow travellers on Perversity Road, but how would Clyde react if Lincoln told him about his plans to assemble his very own harem? Would he be appalled? Jealous? Yeah, he'd probably get jealous and want in, at least on Lori. Lincoln could share Lori with his friend, but you know what? He didn't want to. He wanted to keep her and the others all to himself. Clyde moving in on his territory was unacceptable. No offense to Clyde, but he wasn't worthy of Lincoln's sisters. They were far too good for him. They were for The Log and The Log only. If Clyde wanted someone like Penelope or Haiku, he was more than welcome to them, but his sisters were totally off limits.
In fact, no, he might want to add Haiku and all the other girls to his harem one day, so yeah, Clyde couldn't have them either. Since homeboy wanted to grab some dick, he could have a harem of the boys. Rusty, Rocky, Poppa Wheelie, Chandler, Chaz, and Liam. Clyde would probably like that. He could birth a bunch of butt babies and call himself Claudia.
"I just got a lot on my mind," Lincoln said and grinned at the thought of Clyde being reamed up the butt by Mr. Grouse. How does it feel to be Groused, you nasty little slut? "You know...tests and stuff."
Clyde arched his brow inquisitive but didn't say anything. The end of year exams were still a month away. "Okay then. There's something new with me." He beamed proudly.
"What?" Lincoln asked.
"You know that girl Chloe from art class?"
Lincoln searched his memory banks but came up empty. He thought the name Chloe was kind of familiar but he couldn't be sure. In that case, she was probably plain and not worthy of joining his harem. "Sure," Lincoln lied.
"I asked her out and she said yes. We're going to the movies. I'm totally going to try for third base."
Third base was fingering. Lincoln remembered that because he found a thing online once that laid the bases out like this.
Frenching.
Feeling.
Fingering.
Fucking.
"You're just skipping the first two?" Lincoln asked, taken aback. Going right to third was a pretty big move. He wasn't going to tenderize her and get her used to it? Bruh.
Clyde grinned. "I didn't say that."
For a moment, Lincoln looked at him cock eyed, then it sank in and he gasped. Clyde nodded smugly. "We've been on second base. She's a really good kisser."
Jealousy grabbed Lincoln by the throat and kneed him in the balls. Clyde...was on second freaking base? BEFORE him? Wtf Clyde was a geek though. No offense to Clyde, but he was. How could he get a girl to touch his wiener before Lincoln did? It was unthinkable. Unacceptable.
But from the glow of Clyde's face, it was also undeniable. "We French kiss for hours," Clyde said. "And she loves it when I squeeze her boob."
Now Lincoln felt like crying.
That night, Lincoln sat up in bed and paged through an Ace Savvy comic, his mind a million miles away. Had he done enough to condition Lola to accept his advances? Could he pluck her from the vine or was she not ripe enough yet? Knowing that Clyde was out there somewhere getting action while he sat here looking stupid made him feel as rotten as Donald Trump's approval ratings. He tossed the comic aside, shifted off the bed, and paced around the room like a restive convict. He didn't want to jump the gun and go off half cocked; if he did that, he'd blow his chances with Lola. And if Lola fell through, chances were he wouldn't get any of the others either. The success of his harem hinged on how he handled Lola...so as much as it hurt, he'd have to wait a little while longer. Let Clyde and Chloe touch and kiss each other, because in due time, Lincoln would be banging half a dozen girls while Clyde prayed for two blowjobs a week. LOL, get rekt, Clyde.
He carried on with his plan like normal, but with a renewed sense of urgency that took great effort to ignore. On the following Saturday, he took Lola to the park and held a pink umbrella for her to walk under. She strutted along with her pert little nose in the air and her tushy clenched. Lincoln stared at it with open lust, his tongue licking his lips like a dog. He couldn't wait to shove his tongue between her cheeks and to sample her sweet love juice. He'd pick her up and tongue fuck her butthole until her knees shook, then he'd fuck her into submission like Vince McMahon fucked Brett Hart at Survivor Series '97. I didn't screw Lola, Lola screwed Lola.
But no, he'd totally screw her.
As they walked, Lola talked about her week. "Lindsey Sweetwater thinks she's all that and a bag of chips, but I assure you, she's not. She's ugly, talentless, and everything she does is laughably bad. Seriously, I don't know why they even let her compete. Probably to make the rest of us look better."
Lincoln knew for a fact that Lindsey wasn't as useless as Lola made her out to be. In fact, she was the closest to Lola in terms of attractiveness and ability. That meant she was a threat, which is why Lola hated her guts.
"She tries too hard," Lincoln agreed.
"Right?" Lola asked. "You have to do that when you like natural beauty and talent."
"You don't have to do that," Lincoln said. "You're beautiful and talented on your own."
Lola smiled. "Thank you, Lincy."
Lincoln patted her shoulder.
At the end of the day, he took her and Lana on a picnic, ostensibly to spend one on one on one time with the twins. His real reason for doing it was to wine and dine Lola. Instead of wine, he used sparkling apple cider which he poured into a fancy champagne glass. He did the same for Lana but he was extra gentle and sensual with Lola. When the meal was over, she asked him for head scratchies, to which he all too happily obliged. She drooled, rolled her eyes into the back of her head, and shivered all over, losing herself to the feeling of the moment. To keep up appearances, he stopped and played in the mud with Lana for a little while. "You've been up Lola's butt a lot lately," she said.
Hmmm, not yet, but I will be soon.
Lana narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What kind of dirt does she have on you?"
That made Lincoln laugh, since he and Lana were both literally covered in dirt at that very moment. "None," he said, "I just feel like being nice, that's all."
Lana arched her brow. "She's brainwashed you." She gave a slow, sad shake of her head. "Poor Lincoln."
If that's what she wanted to think, all the better for him. So far, no one had said anything about him spending too much time with Lola. Lucky for him. Of course, even if they did, there was no way they could possibly fathom what he had in mind for her.
His cock.
He had his cock in mind for her.
On the way back home, he gave Lola a piggyback ride. The feeling of her powerful legs wrapped around his chest and of the hollow of her crotch against his back excited him. It was almost like they were having sex,
God, he couldn't wait to get this little girl alone. She was pretty but she'd be a whole lot prettier with her feet behind her ears and a massive load of baby batter on her face.
At home, he immediately locked himself in his room and fucked a pair of Lola's panties. When he was done, he looked up a lewd Ace Savvy fan fic and read it with wide eyes. He'd have to try the move Ace used on Lady Diamonds on Luan. She seemed the type who'd enjoy something in her butt. He didn't know what it was about her but she always stuck him as a secret freak. She probably liked having her nipples pinched as she got reamed from behind.
The next day, Lincoln rose bright and early and went into the hallway. Usually, he popped a shirt on before going for his morning pee, but today he went in only his underwear. The idea was for Lola to see him in all his glory and get used to it.
Lola stood at the end of the line and Lincoln grinned at his good fortune. Sometimes, when you're Lincoln Loud, fate smiles down on you and helps you along in your quest to canoodle your little sister. He walked up behind her and pressed his full, semi-hard crotch against her butt, pretending to bump her out of the way. "Gang way, gotta pee."
"Uh. excuse me?" Lola asked. "You just have to wait your turn."
"But I gotta go. My pee pee's gonna blow up."
"Too bad."
Getting her talking about his pee pee, even if not by name, was a good thing because it normalized it in her mind. "Please? My weiner's gonna blow off."
"Your weiner will be fine."
That single remark was far, far more encouraging than you might think.
Deciding that that was good enough for now, he let the matter drop. Slow and steady wins the race, you know.
After a hearty breakfast of glorified sugar, Lincoln walked with Lisa, Lola, Lana, and Lucy to the elementary school. Lucy's nose was buried in a hardback and Lisa's in a calculus book. Lincoln nudged Lola with her elbow, then, when he had her attention, he stuck out his foot. Lisa tripped and the book went flying from her hands. Lola burst out laughing and Lincoln snickered. Lola, the resident beauty queen of the Loud house, had a fierce rivalry with Lisa, the brain.
Lisa got to her feet, dusted herself off, and picked her book up. "Laugh it up, Lincoln. You forget that I possess chemicals that could kill you without leaving a trace."
Oh shit.
"If I were you, I'd tread real fucking lightly."
Now he was scared.
Anyway, it was a typical day at school until he found Clyde and Chloe making out at lunch. They were sequestered in a little alcove near the soda machine. Lincoln's heart dropped and he watched them for a moment, jealous and aroused.
He knew Clyde was getting tongue but seeing it was a whole different story.
Before sulking off, he told a teacher and got them in trouble. Clyde wasn't in his next class, and Lincoln really hoped the principal suspended his ass. Teach him to have a girl before Lincoln.
All the rest of the day, that plagued Lincoln, and later that night, just before he dropped off into sleep, he decided that tomorrow would be the day.
Tomorrow he would begin his harem.