A/N: I have been a fan of Marvel for years and more importantly, I've been a fan of Bucky Barnes. This idea has popped into my head after watching The Falcon and The Winter Soldier. Which was so FREAKING AMAZING. Also if you haven't seen The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, SPOILER ALERT! I'm really excited about this. Anyway don't forget to read and review but please be nice. 3.
Overview: PLEASE READ!
After the events of Endgame, everyone goes their own way and Bucky decides to try and make something of himself. He also wants to begin actually living his life within the modern world and try making amends for the things he did when he was the Winter Soldier. However, when Steve finally passes on and Sam retires the shield, Bucky begins to question everything. His nightmares are haunting him day and night, his therapy isn't really helping and now he thinks he's insane. Everywhere he goes he keeps seeing someone he knew as a kid, before he went into war and more importantly, it's someone he loved but never got the chance to tell her. Then when Sam and Bucky go looking for the Flag Smashers, and John Walker begins screwing up royally, someone pops in and helps them figure things out. Maybe Bucky will get the chance to voice his feelings after all.
Bucky sits straight up, and looks around his empty apartment, his dog tags jingling around his neck. He tries to settle his breathing as he realizes that he is in his house instead of in the middle of the massacre he caused.
"These nightmares need to stop." Bucky says as he runs his hand through his short hair and over his face. He stands up from his position on the floor and makes his way toward the bathroom. Once he gets into the bathroom and turns on the light, he walks over to the sink and turns the faucet on. Once the water gets to his preferred temperature, he splashes his face with water a few times, as if trying to baptize himself of the thoughts and memories that have been rearing their ugly heads the past few weeks. When Bucky raises his head to look in the mirror and for a split second, he could have sworn he saw the Winter Soldier staring back at him. But he blinked and only saw himself in the mirror.
Deciding to give up on sleeping, Bucky pulls a plain black long-sleeve shirt and a pair of black running shorts out of his closet and exits his apartment building, onto the street. Ever since he got back, whenever he's felt like he's losing control or the nightmares get to be too much, he goes for a run. Not so much for the exercise but rather for the tranquility and the opportunity to clear his head. There are times, much like tonight, when he starts running at like 2 in the morning and he doesn't stop until almost noon. He takes off down the street with the sounds of the city fading into the background as he lets his mind wander.
After three hours of running, Bucky comes to a stop near the water and decides to take a break. He sits down on a bench and stares out at the water. The sun is just poking up over the horizon, painting the sky orange, yellow and light blue. The way the sunrise looked reminds Bucky of his time in Wakanda and how he was at peace for a short time.
After another ten minutes of staring out at the water, Bucky decides to make his way home because he has a therapy session in about two hours. As he stands up and turns around, he notices someone with a black hoodie pulled over their face, leaning on one of the buildings. From where Bucky was standing, he could see that the person had a small and petite figure and was most likely a female. The person slowly lifts their head and Bucky's heart skips a beat. Suddenly the person takes off running and Bucky runs after her. But once he turns the corner, she has completely disappeared. Bucky looks around trying to spot any kind of indicator to where she went when her name escapes Bucky's lips.
"Madison..." Suddenly a blaring car horn pulls Bucky back to reality as he quickly gets out of the car's way. The car drives past him and disappears around the corner. Bucky looks around one more time and sighs before he begins to make his way back to his apartment. As he reaches his apartment, he feels like someone is watching him so he quickly turns around and surveys the area. The city is already buzzing with life and there are people everywhere, but no one is really making an impression.
Once inside his apartment, he decides to take a shower and try to rid himself of the negative emotions he's feeling. Once the water reaches his desired temperature, he strips out of his clothes and enters the shower, allowing the warm water to envelope him like a hug. He stares at the wall and begins to think back to the girl that he had seen and how much she looked like his first, and really his only, love.
Madison Brook was the most sought after girl in New York when they were growing up. She was not only absolutely gorgeous and stunning physically but she was beautiful in another way. She was kind, compassionate, genuine, intelligent and feisty. She had no problem putting people in their place, even if it got her in trouble and ten times out of ten, it would. She had guys chasing her all over the city but she never paid attention to them. Bucky, Steve and Madison were best friends from the time they met until the time the boys left for the war. Steve knew how Bucky felt about Madison and urged him to voice his feelings but Bucky chickened out every single time.
Bucky shakes his head, turns the water off, grabs his towel and exits the shower. After getting dressed, he slowly makes his way toward his therapist's office, dreading every step he was taking. He comes to a stop and whether it was paranoia or optimism, he can feel someone's eyes on him. Bucky quickly looks around and tries to see if he can spot the girl from before. With no such luck, he sighs and walks into the office. He signs in at the desk and waits to be called back for his session. As he sits in the chair, Bucky lets his mind wander a little and it immediately pulled him back to Madison.
*Flashback*
"Where are we going?" Steve asks as he wipes away the blood from his nose. Bucky hands him the newspaper with a smile on his face.
"The future." Bucky and Steve exit the alley and cross the street.
"Why is that 95 percent of the time I see you two, you are bleeding?" A feminine voice says as they get closer to her. A beautiful young woman who looked to be the same age as them. Her dark red and white floral dress going to her knees, her black heels on her feet, her long light brown hair styled in a half up/half down style and a playful fire shines in her bright green eyes. Both boys immediately smile at seeing their best friend.
"Not funny Maddy." Steve says as he rolls his eyes.
"What happened this time?" Madison asked as she put a hand on Steve's shoulder. Instead of answering, Steve looks at the ground and shoves his hands in his pockets. Bucky and Madison share a worried look before Madison continues. "Stevie, you can't keep getting in these fights."
"The guy had it coming." Steve mumbles, kicking a small stone.
"Who was it?" Madison asks, Bucky more than Steve.
"William Brown. Apparently he would shut up during the movie and Steve told him to shut it. Needless to say, Willie didn't take it too well." Bucky responds as he ruffles Steve's hair. Steve smiles as he swats his friend's hand away.
"I'm gonna go get cleaned up. I'll meet you guys later." Steve gestures to his face before sulking away, leaving his two best friends. But before he left he gave Bucky a wink. The two watch as he fades into the crowd.
"What are we gonna do with him?" Madison asks.
"You're the one who's gotta stay and watch out for him, I'm leaving. By the way, red looks stunning on you." Bucky responds with a smirk on his face as he wraps an arm around her shoulder and the two begin walking down the street.
"And your uniform looks amazing on you." She lightly elbows him in the ribs. After a few minutes, she suddenly becomes serious as she looks at the ground.
"What wrong, doll?" Bucky questions as he stops in front of her.
"I wish you didn't have to go…" She trails off, trying to stop the tears.
"I know. I don't wanna go either but don't worry, Madsy. I'll be back and annoying you before you have a chance to miss me." Bucky puts a hand on her cheek and tries to make her feel better. Madison lightly chuckles before nodding.
"I'm holding you to that. Now let's go. Don't wanna be late for the future." Madison and Bucky start making their way toward the expo, picking Steve up in the process. The entire time, Steve is talking about how he wants to go to war and defend his country.
"I don't see what the problem is. You're about to be the last eligible man in New York. You know there's three and a half million women here?" Bucky tries to reason with Steve.
"Well, I'd settle for just one." Steve says, looking around.
"Luckily, I took care of that." Madison says as she waves to a blonde girl in a soft pink dress, standing near one of the statues.
"Madison!" The girl yells as she waves back.
"What did you tell her?" Steve immediately starts panicking.
"Nothing that wasn't true, Stevie." Madison smiles. The girl runs up and wraps Madison in a tight hug.
"It's so good to see you!" The girl squeals.
"It's good to see you too. I feel like it's been a hundred years." Madison and the girl share a smile before they turn to the boys.
"Boys, meet Carolyn Price. She and I have been friends, almost like sisters, for a very long time. Carolyn, this is James Barnes and Steve Rodgers."
"So you're the famous Bucky Barnes… Interesting." Carolyn nudges Madison before said girl sends a glare toward the blonde. "It's great to meet you both. Let's go. The show's about to start." Carolyn grabs Steve's hand and begins to drag him toward one of the stages. Madison and Bucky laugh at the look on Steve's face as they follow close behind.
After watching Howard Stark's flying car spark up and smash to the ground, Bucky turns to talk to Steve to see that he's gone.
"Hey, did you see where Steve went?" Bucky whispers to Madison while putting a hand on her back. Madison quickly turns around and scans the crowd.
"No… but I have a pretty good idea." Madison gestures toward the army recruitment building.
"He's gonna try again…" Bucky says, pinching the bridge of his nose before heading toward the building.
"Unbelievable…" Madison shakes her head before turning to Carolyn. "We'll be back."
"Don't worry about me. I gotta get home anyway. Big things going on at home." Both girls smile before hugging.
"Best of luck to you. Give my love and luck to Betty. She'll do great." Madison says with a smile.
"Do you remember the first time you did it?" Carolyn asks.
"I do. It's still ingrained in my head about how bad it was but I've gotten better." Madison responds.
"I'll let you know how it goes." Carolyn hugs Madison one more time before she fades into the crowd. Madison turns and heads to the army recruitment building to drag her two favorite idiots out by their ears if she had to. As she gets closer, Madison can hear the boys arguing.
"Bucky, come on. There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That's what you don't understand. This isn't about me." Steve explains himself.
"Right. Cause you got nothing to prove." Bucky sighs.
"Woah there Serge. Let's just take a moment to breathe." Madison intervenes, placing a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "I get why you wanna do this, Steve. But do you know what the definition of insanity is?"
"What's that gotta do with anything?" Steve responds.
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Steve you can't keep doing this to yourself. Setting yourself up for disappointment." Madison tries to sympathize with Steve but it's falling on deaf ears.
"I'm doing this and I need the support of my two best friends." Steve says hopefully.
"Fine. We're going dancing and we'll see ya later." Bucky says. "Just don't do anything stupid until I get back." Bucky takes Madison's hand and begins to walk away.
"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." Bucky sighs before turning back to Steve and walking toward him.
"You're a punk." Bucky hugs Steve, who returns it.
"Jerk." Steve pats Bucky on the back.
"What am I going to do with you two?" Madison asks as she also hugs Steve. "I have faith in you, Stevie."
"Thanks Maddy." Steve smiles at her. He sends a smirk to his two best friends and walks around the corner.
"Come on, Madsy." Bucky takes Madison's hand again and the two walk toward the party.
"Why do I have a feeling that this is not going to end well?" Madison asks no one in particular. The two laugh as they reach the area where everyone was partying and dancing but before they go in, Bucky pulls at her hand signaling for her to stop for a moment. She turns to face him and he suddenly forgets how to breathe. Jade green meets cerulean blue.
"I wanted to give you something before I leave and now seems like a pretty good time to do it." Bucky says as he reaches for a small box in his pocket.
"Now hold on a second…" Madison begins but Bucky cuts her off by laughing.
"Relax Madsy. I'm not proposing yet. But I wanted you to have something to remember me while I'm gone." He hands her the box and for a moment she looks between him and the box. "Will you just open it so my heart can start beating again?" Madison chuckles as she opens the box to reveal a silver heart pendant with a red heart shaped gem in the center.
"Oh, Bucky…" Madison gently runs her fingers over the pendant. "It's beautiful." She says as she looks back at him with tears in her eyes. "Help me put it on?" Bucky nods at her request. Madison takes the necklace from the box and hands it to Bucky who fastens the chain around her neck. "Well…"
"I told you, doll. Red looks stunning on you."
*End of Flashback*
"James…" The sound of his therapist's voice causes Bucky to raise his head. "I'm ready for you." Bucky sighs before standing up and walking into Dr. Raynor's office. Little did he know that green eyes watched him from outside the office.
"Don't worry, Bucky. You'll get your chance."