Huntsville, Alabama
"I don't want to move!" Five year old Beau Bouchard yelled, slamming his bedroom door.
His twin brother Whittaker, or Whit, was far more calm when Lucas broke the news. He shed a tear but then he shrugged. "Its okay, Dad. Momma isn't here anymore. You're in charge."
Lucas groaned. He had been active duty military his kid's whole lives. He had deployed three times, missing birthdays and Christmas. When he had come home from Afghanistan in the middle of his tour six months before, it had been for Fiona's funeral, not because he had chosen to come home.
Of course, now that he had been discharged, he would raise his boys but he was well aware it wouldn't be easy. He didn't know them well and vice versa.
"How about mac and cheese?" Lucas asked Whit.
"We don't have any more cheese," he reminded his dad.
Right. They needed to go to the store.
The last six months had been a mixture of grief, sadness, struggles and moving around, leaving friends behind.
Lucas relied much too heavily on his mother, Helen for the boy's care. Now, they were full time in his home and he was honestly lost. He didn't know their routine or favorite foods. Did they like a certain toy?
Instead of running to the store, he ordered pizza. "Just cheese for me, Dad. Beau likes ham."
He found a job in Jacksonville, Florida as a recruiting officer for the Army so they would move. Again.
That night, Jacksonville, Florida
Elizabeth Hickam tucked her boys into their beds, Thatcher, or Thatch on the top bunk and Weston, West on the bottom.
She turned off their light and made a quick search of their backpacks, making sure there was no food left in there from the week. That had happened before.
"Love you, boys."
"Love you too, Mom," they told her as she shut the door.
She headed to the kitchen to make herself a cup of decaf before she finished grading projects.
Elizabeth was a kindergarten teacher at Skyline Elementary in Jacksonville. She loved everything about her job, even grading projects. However, tonight, she'd rather be chatting with her best friend, Clara or texting Julie about her boyfriend Nathan. She'd rather be reading a novel in a hot bubble bath with a glass of red wine nearby. However, she always liked to get her school work done Friday night so she had time for the boys all weekend. So she added cream to her coffee and got to work.
"Momma!" Weston yelled, running out to her about an hour later, tears running down his face.
"West, what's wrong, sweetie?"
"I had a bad dream." She pulled his solid, six year old body up on her lap and ran her fingers through his hair.
More often than not, one of the boys dreamt of losing their dad again. It had been a year since Michael passed but it was a struggle to get through nights. Not just for them either.
They had married just out of college and within a year, found out Thatcher was on the way. Michael had deployed just after he was born so the first six months of Thatcher's life was spent only with Momma.
The life of an Army wife wasn't easy but the day they took their wedding vows, they knew what they were agreeing to.
Now, every night, she fell asleep without her husband lightly snoring next to her. Without his loyal heart assuring her that he'd love her forever.
She looked down and smiled at West who had fallen asleep again. "I miss you, Michael, but...we are going to make it," she whispered, standing and carrying Weston back to bed.
Lucas paid a moving company to drive their belongings to their new rental in Jacksonville so he and the boys could fly to Florida.
So two weeks after he told them they were moving, they hopped on a plane, leaving Alabama behind with the sad memories.
Beau barely talked to Lucas, mad at him for not only moving again but for not letting him stay with Nana Helen after he begged.
Lucas had looked online for family counselors in the Jacksonville area, knowing they would all benefit from a little help. He found one that had many good reviews and made an appointment for a few days after they were settled. He also registered them for school at Skyline Elementary to finish out their kindergarten year.
When they pulled his rental car into the driveway of their home, both boys were asleep. He looked around at the neighborhood and it seemed quiet, peaceful. Quiet wasn't always something he sought but since Fiona...he lived for evenings when nothing needed his attention.
He and Fiona had met in college and married their senior year. She was beautiful and kind and they had loved each other a lot.
He remembered the Christmas he had come home from deployment for R and R and she told him she was pregnant. They had celebrated for days. He hadn't been home when she found out it was twins or when she found out they were boys. He had been home for their births though and it was one of the most magical days of his life.
He looked into the back seat, Beau holding his teddy bear tight as he rested his head on the window. Whit, a little blonder than Beau, mimicked his twin, holding his own bear.
"Boys," he said softly. "We're home."
He got out and opened the door closest to where Beau was. "Bud, we're here." Beau frowned and kept his eyes shut. Lucas kissed his brown hair and sighed. "I love you, Beau. I hope you know that."
"Then why did you make us leave Nana?! That was mean! She takes care of us, not you."
"Because I'm your dad. I take care of you now."
"I want Nana."
He stepped back so Beau could jump out while Whit climbed out the opposite side. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day.
It was a long day. Their things arrived late so Lucas made sure their mattresses had sheets on them so they could at least go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
Around 10 pm, Lucas heard little feet behind him in the room. He turned, surprised to see Beau standing there.
"Hi. What are you doing up, son?"
He shrugged and then burst into tears. "I want Momma," he whispered. Lucas stood and picked him up and brought him back to the couch which was surrounded by a sea of boxes.
"I know. I do too, Beau. I miss her too."
"Its not fair, Dad. Everyone else gets a Momma. Why not us?"
"Sometimes bad things happen. There's not always a reason. I don't have a Dad anymore. Sometimes I just wish I could talk to him one more time."
Like now when he was clueless how to be a good dad. He wanted advice from him so badly sometimes.
"Were you mad when your dad wasn't with you anymore?" Beau asked, sniffing.
"I was. I was mad and sad and confused."
"Me too."
"I'm not going to pretend that I'm always going to do a good job," Lucas admitted. "But I'm going to try."
"Okay, Dad. I'll try too."
Lucas hugged him tighter and kissed his hair. "Think you can go to sleep now?"
"Can I stay with you?"
"For a while, sure. You need to close your eyes though."
Lucas loved feeling closer to Beau. It felt like he was giving him a chance.
As he gazed down at his son, he saw Fiona in him. His cheeks had a smattering of freckles just like her. His dark hair was like hers. His stubborn, strong personality was absolutely like her.
A wave of grief came over him at that moment. He didn't want to raise the boys without her. He had two years left in his contract with the Army and they had planned to move somewhere new and grow their family. Now, they wouldn't have that chance. He'd never hear her whisper Luke again in that way that made his heart race or feel her in his arms again.
Her pillow always smelled like her after she got up and he struggled to remember that scent now.
He wouldn't ask why she had died so young because as he had told Beau, sometimes there wasn't an answer. It had been something to do with her heart but the death certificate listed natural causes. In his opinion, dying before your 30th birthday was not natural.
Lucas sniffed and stood to take Beau to bed. He didn't want to dwell on the past anymore. He needed to just live for now.
The next day, instead of unpacking, he took the boys out for breakfast.
"Can I get French toast, Dad?" Whit asked him.
"Sure, bud," he said, looking at the menu. "What sounds good, Beau?"
"Mmm pancakes with chocolate chips and whipped cream."
His first instinct was to immediately shoot down the idea because of the sweet factor but then he realized French Toast was just as sweet and he really wanted to pick his battles.
"Well, I'm going to get biscuits and gravy!" Not something he would normally eat but it was their first day in a new place. Might as well go all out.
After breakfast, he asked the boys what they wanted to do. "The zoo!" they yelled, excited and happy. He loved seeing them happy.
"Okay, deal. But tomorrow we need to go check out your school and unpack."
"And get groceries," Whit reminded him. "We don't have food."
"Yes, groceries, school, unpack."
His list kept growing throughout the day as they wandered through each animal habitat and enjoyed more junk food than he'd ever eaten in one day.
"Dad? I need to go potty," Whit told him.
"We need to all go before we head home. Let's go find the bathroom."
Elizabeth stood outside the boys bathroom at the zoo, waiting for West and Thatch to emerge. Thatcher, being 8 years old was too old to take with her to the ladies room so he took his little brother in for her.
She got a somewhat strange look from a dad who walked past with his sons. She wasn't too close to the doors and she promised to wait for them there. He just needed to relax.
When her boys walked out, they rejoined Clara and her girls who they had met at the zoo.
"This was a good day," Clara said, linking her arm through Elizabeth's.
"Yes it was. I'm glad we did this."
"I think we need a girl's night out...soon."
"Yes! Do you think Jesse will watch the boys?"
"Of course he will."
"Great."
As Elizabeth drove home on the interstate, she heard a terrible noise that made her stomach drop. Stupid tire!
"Crap," she muttered.
"We heard that!" West said from the back seat.
"You have to put a quarter in the naughty jar!" Thatcher reminded her.
"Okay, Thatch. Sorry."
She sighed as she pulled off to the shoulder. "You boys listen. I need to check on the tires. You are to stay in the car. No matter what."
"But I can help!" Thatcher told her.
"What did I say?"
"Stay in the car."
"Promise?"
"Yeah."
She checked for traffic, turned her flashers on and then got out. The two tires on her side were fine so she wandered to the passenger side. Bingo. All the way to the ground.
She headed to the back, opening the trunk. She pulled out the jack and set it on the ground. Then she groaned as she maneuvered the spare out from under the carpet of the trunk.
As she prepared to use the jack, she heard another car pull up behind hers.
"Need some help?" a masculine voice asked.
"No thank you. I've got it."
He stood a few feet behind her and watched her fumble to get it positioned correctly. "Miss, I'd be happy to help you."
She looked back at him, a slightly annoyed look on her face. "Just because I'm a woman, doesn't mean I can't change a tire."
"Of course it doesn't. That's not what I meant."
She stood up and wiped her hands on her jeans. Then she recognized him. "Just because I'm a woman also doesn't mean that I can't stand outside the bathroom at the zoo waiting for my sons."
Lucas sighed. "I taught my wife how to change a tire and I'm 100% sure she would have waited outside the bathroom for our boys too. Neither of those things are in any way non-feminine. I only wanted to help if you needed it. Since you don't, I'll be on my way. Have a nice day, Miss."
As he walked away, she blurted, "Wait! I'm sorry. I could use some help."
He looked at her and then walked back over.
"This jack….it's giving me grief and….I can't remember what my husband said was the trick…."
He squatted down beside her and easily slid the jack under the car. Since he was there, she accepted his help to finish up.
"I'm Elizabeth Hickam."
"Lucas Bouchard."
"Thank you for stopping and helping. I'm sorry I overreacted."
"Its alright. You drive safe, alright, Mrs. Hickam?"
"You too, Mr. Bouchard."