Bored

Boooooored

Board

Mbord

Bored.

I'm in a class. Creative writing.

The wall in front? Green.

The wall right beside me to my left? Blue.

The floor? Some ugly grey color.

The other two walls? Also blue.

The windows? Far at the right side of the room. The blinds are pulled down most of the way, but the sunlight keeps coming through. Way too bright. The chairs and tables are spaced out, because Covid-19 is a thing.

My school journal, pencil case and an open hardback are on my desk. The pages are blank. The teacher just put a stack of sheets at the top of the class, and I grabbed two. They aren't blank unfortunately, just notes.

Still bored.

I tried reading some Naruto fan fiction yesterday, but most of the stuff that's there is complete shit. In self inserts, why does the character always need to be related to another bloody character? And 80% of the time they're a bloody Uchiha. Nothing against them, but most of the main characters are Uchiha already, why would you add more? We've got Madara, Tobi/Obito, Sasuke, Itachi, a wee bit of Fugaku, and hell, even Danzo and Indra count (I guess). Not to mention the massive backstory. It's to be expected I guess, given one of the main characters of the story is an Uchiha. But, compared to that, we barely get any Uzumaki action. There's Karin, Naruto, Nagato, Kushina and the first Hokage's wife (I forgot her name I'm sorry). Alright never mind, there's enough Uzumakis.

And, why does the character (the SI) always need to die and then be reborn as a baby? Cmon, that'll barely affect the story!

When can I get a proper fan fiction where the self insert gets freaking teleported in the middle of the story outta nowhere and the timeline and everything gets messed up as heck? Now that would be proper.

I could always write one myself, but I suck at writing. I used to be 'good' at it as a kid when I read more, but when I look back at some of my old stuff, I just cringe. I guess that's a good thing since it shows that I'm growing, but cringe is cringe.

Bo Burnham's straight white man is stuck in my head. Such a good song. I could put the lyrics up, or I could just not since most of y'all would just skip it anyway.

Ugh. So bored.

Sometimes I find real diamonds in Naruto fan fiction though. Namely 'Deception', 'Something to remember me by', 'Sasuke's No Good, Very Bad Teammates' and 'The Worst Shift'.

Absolutely stunning.

But I absolutely can't imagine how these people can write hundreds of thousands of words of solid perfection. They're entire books for gods' sake. I still finished them in less than 3 days tho. Good stuff.

Well, enough reminiscing for now. It's not like we're doing anything in class. The teacher's just doing her own thing, and everyone else is quietly doing work or using their phones, like me.

Gosh, I've barely written anything. This is hard.

Yeah, I'm out of ideas and I'm tired so I'll probably just put my head down for a minute.

Oh yeah, close my eyes, and boom.

Reelaksayshun. Seishun. Y o u t h. G-Guy-sensei! Rock Lee is the best, ugh. Such a good character. This actually feels nice, having my eyes closed and just thinking. Thinking, thinking, thinking thoughts.

Mmmmmm.

Skiddity bop bop.

Shweeby deeby do.

.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

.

"Who are you."

My head shoots up. I'm rapidly blinking, my vision blurry.

Oh crap! Did I fall asleep? Who said that? Actually, that voice sounds familiar. Wait a freaking second. That— Isn't that—

"Answer me, unless you're prepared to be taken into interrogation."

My vision finally freaking clears. That's the Third Hokage. Lord Third. Sarutobi. The man, the myth, the legend. Wearing the classic square hat, and a pipe in his mouth. He really shouldn't be smoking indoors—

Wait, where am I? If that's the Hokage, then...

I just got isekaid. Into Naruto. Oh hell yeah.

Location? Naruto's class in the academy. Nobody's here though. Except the Hokage in front of me. I'm in a seat, second row from the front on the left side of the room. My left.

To my right is that space between the bench things where people walk through. Huh. Looks like Kakashi and Team 7 are here too. Wait, did I pop in during their first meeting? My bad. Stop staring at me like that, I'm not an alien!

"Hello? Can you hea—"

"Yes!" I stand up immediately.

Crap, too fast

I stumble, lightheaded. Black spots cloud my vision. Don't fall don't fall don't fall don't fall don't fall don't fall don't fall don't fall!

I trip. And I would've fallen on my face if I hadn't been caught by a pair of strong arms.

Kakashi's arms.

"Oi, you okay? You need to be more careful."

Oh my fucking god I'm in Kakashi's arms and he's looking at me is this a dream come true or WHAT.

"Uh yeah, I'm fine, thanks."

He lets go of me, and steps back. I straighten myself, patting down my— my CLOTHES! I'm no longer in my itchy school uniform, nice, nice, coolcoolcool.

I'm wearing the funky ninja outfit I designed yesterday. I mean, not designed, but just drawn. I had this idea for a while, mentally adjusting and editing it until it was perfect.

It looks like this: (Ok, I can't put images in here, but basically I've got baggy lime-green bottoms that go just below my knee, a long-sleeved semi-fishnet ninja shirt, a lime-green short-sleeved crop top, and bandages around my middle and calves. My hair is short and a dark gray-blue, brushed to the right and a ponytail on the left.)

It feels more perfect than I imagined. But that's not the point. Both the Hokage and Kakashi are standing in front of me now, staring at me like I'm about to explain everything.

"Uhh... well, ya know..."

They lean forward, staring even harder than before, if that was even possible.

I can feel myself shaking. My throat feels tight. I can't breathe.

Okay don't panic it's not like they think you're a spy right? They aren't gonna zap your brain to see if you know any secrets right? Right?

I take a step back, when suddenly there's a whoosh sound from behind me. Isn't that the sound that's made when a ninja like, teleports or whatever? Wait.

I turn. Yep, there's an ANBU behind me. Not good. They think I'm dangerous.

Ha. Imagine.

Me? Dangerous? I don't even know how to use chakra, for gods' sake. I hold up my hands.

Yeah, I'm not even armed. I didn't spawn with a weapons pouch, unfortunately. What do you think a something-year-old like me can do against a Hokage, a Hokage-level Jonin and three genins? Pah. Actually, how old am I? Am I still 16? I feel 16. In that case I might actually be dangerous. Past chunin level, at least.

"Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, go wait outside."

Kakashi didn't even look at them.

"But sensei! What if you need help taking the spy down? We can help too ya know!"

"Shut up, stupid Naru—"

"Oi!"

I interrupt Sakura. Her head snaps to look at me, along with everyone else's.

"I'm not a spy, and I'm not here to hurt anyone, so relax."

I step towards the three, but another ANBU materializes in front of me, blocking my path. Kakashi also jumps in front of his team, taking a defensive stance.

"Your orders, Lord Hokage?"

Both ANBU pull out a kunai, preparing to strike.

This is a... tricky situation.

The Hokage pulls out his pipe, and slowly exhales.

"Stand down. I will deal with her myself."

Huh. Aren't you a calm one. Wait, is he gonna interrogate me himself? That might be an issue. He may be an old man but he can still kick my ass.

The two ANBU vanish, leaving me alone with the Hokage and Team 7.

The pipe returns to his mouth. He hasn't stopped staring at me for a while now. Kinda creepy.

"Come."

He turns and walks out the door, not bothering to turn back to see if I actually followed him.

He didn't need to.

I pause just in front of the open door. The genins, standing beside it, stared at me like I had just grown a second head.

Sasuke is the closest to me, brave little bastard. Kakashi is leaning against the nearest table, seemingly relaxed, but it's obvious he's on his guard. Naruto is holding onto Sasuke, basically shielding himself. D'aww. Sakura is further back, beside Kakashi. Cautious.

Without thinking, I raise my hand. And tap two fingers to Sasuke's forehead. Well, his forehead protector.

His eyes widen, and he inhales sharply as an expression of pure bewilderment fills his face.

Jesus frick I shouldn't have done that oh my lord did I just break everything the plot the story the plot I'm so sorry Sasuke please don't kill meeeeee

"N-nice to meet you! I'm uh, gonna go that way now."

I wave quickly, and dash out of the room before anyone can object.

"This way. Quickly, now, we haven't got all day."

The Hokage calls from my left, so I don't need to bother looking for him. That's good I guess.

He speedwalks away, and I follow.

Wow, the office is far away. These corridors all look the same. Welp. Time to actually observe my surroundings, oh yeah.

The walls? Woody.

The floor? Also woody but there's a green carpet thingy running along it.

There's, uh, occasional photo frames and things along the walls, and I can actually use them to check out my reflection. Just a quick peek, and would you look at that. I'm not ugly as heck anymore. And my hair? Feels... soft... silky... s u b a r a s h i i .

Was that cringe? Eh, it's my brain so it's ok.

But still, oh my god, I've been teleported into Naruto. Not that I'm complaining or anything, b-baka! And isn't this what I was talking about before? Bloody finally. There better be someone writing this down, or so help me I will find a way to teleport back to turn this into an actual story.

Wait. This corridor. I recognize it. We're here! The Hokage's office! It's about time.

"We're here. This is my office."

Ha, I already knew that. Not telling you tho.

"Uh, cool."

He opens the door. Slides it? Whatever.

"Go sit over there."

He points at a chair in front of his desk.

I oblige, and make myself comfortable.

This is the Hokage's office. Wow. It looks just like it does in the anime. Wild.

He slowly lowers himself into his seat behind the desk, clearly fed up with this situation but trying not to show it.

"In case you didn't know, I'm the Hokage. The leader of this Village."

"Uh huh."

"Alright, let's get this over with. Anko."

Anko? I didn't see her when we came in.

I hear a whoosh behind me.

Ah.

I feel two fingers press tightly to my neck. I jump at the touch.

"Oh? Don't be scared, it'll only take a few minutes." Lick

Aw hell no bitch I ain't into that shit, you're too close man

"I'm afraid you'll have to deal with... this,"

The Hokage gestures vaguely with his hands.

"Since our regular interrogator is busy."

So this is the interrogation, then? I guess the fingers on my neck make sense then. It's like a lie detector thingy. Wait, an interrogation??

"Tell me your name."

The fingers press tighter. I swallow.

Should I use my real name? It's not Japanese though so it'll sound weird. What about my go-to (y/n) insert? Will it be taken as a lie? Well, might as well figure it out.

"I'm uh, Kaishi Mitsudo".

I can feel Anko make a gesture behind my head with her other hand so I can't see. The Hokage nods slowly.

Is that good or bad? Cmon, gimme something to work with here!

"How old are you?"

"16."

Another gesture. Another nod.

"Where are you from?"

"A place."

He narrows his eyes.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Not really. You wouldn't have heard of it anyway."

Gesture. Nod.

"Do you have any ill intentions towards the Village?"

"Nope."

Gesture. Nod.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm not very sure myself."

Gesture. 2 nods.

He closes his eyes and thinks for a minute. Anko removes her fingers from my neck, but doesn't move from behind me.

It's about time, that was getting annoying

"Well, you don't seem very threatening, and I can't sense very strong chakra or malicious intent in you. Are you even a ninja? Your outfit is... well... interesting. And you passed the interrogation, more or less."

"I'm not a ninja. I'm considering it, though."

"Do you have anywhere to stay, or to return to?"

Oh shit. I didn't think about that. Am I gonna be homeless? Is the Hokage gonna give me my own place? I mean, Naruto's lived alone since he was born I think, so it's possible.

"Er, no, I don't."

"Any parents or siblings?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Are you familiar with the Village?"

I make a so-so motion with my hand.

Konoha is pretty big, after all.

"I see..."

He strokes his beard.

"Well, I suppose we can accommodate you if you really have nowhere to go."

I feel my expression light up.

"I'll also need to find someone to show you around. Hmm..."

He opens a drawer in his desk and pulls out an official-looking piece of paper.

"You will, of course, be monitored for the next few weeks. Just in case you do anything suspicious."

I nod.

"That is, if you want to stay here."

"I do."

"Alright then."

He pushes the paper towards me, and puts a quill and ink pot on the table.

"Just sign your name here, and here."

He points at a line at the start, and at the end of a huge block of text.

Huh, it's in English. Weird. Well, I guess that solves a few problems anyway.

Name: Kaishi Mitsudo

By signing this contract, I confirm my citizenship of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, and the Land of Fire. I pledge my loyalty to the Will of Fire, and if I break this contract, I will be considered a traitor to the Village, and will be treated as such.

Blah blah blah, I won't spill Village secrets or endanger any citizens, etc.

Signed, Kaishi Mitsudo

I hand the paper back to the Hokage. He stamps it, and puts it back in a different drawer.

"Well, that's that done."

Wait, was it seriously that easy? Just answer a few questions and boom, I'm a resident of Konoha? Democracy is weird. Is this even a democracy? Is the Hokage a dictator?

Ugh, politics hurt my brain.

"That's it?"

"That's it. Unless, you think I need a reason to be more... careful?"

"Uh, I think you're good. Thank you."

"All in a days' work. Anko."

"Lord Hokage?"

"You know the house across the street from Naruto's that's just been vacated?"

"I do."

"Off you go then. I have work to do."

"As you wish, Lord Hokage."

Anko's hand 'gently' grabs my shoulder. A sudden realization.

"Wai—"

My stomach is immediately turned upside down as Anko pops us over to my new house. Various colors flash across my vision, and boom. I'm in the middle of a street, in front of a house.

My house.

I also fall on my butt, since I was sitting when Anko teleported me without my consent. Ow.

"Alright, brat. You live here now. Don't pull any funny business and you won't get in trouble. Got it?"

I nod.

"Yes ma'am."

Getting on her bad side probably isn't a good idea, after all.

"Get yourself settled in. Someone else will come by later to give you the rundown of things."

And with that, Anko pops off. I stand up and rub my butt. It's still sore. I pat down my clothes again, and commence project 'observation of surroundings, ver. 2'

In front of me? A house. Not very big. Looks like a bungalow. It fits in well. There's no path or lawn in front. It just opens up to the road. Does this count as a road? There aren't any cars sooooo... whatever. It's a road.

To my left? More road. More random houses. Like 3 people just doing their own thing.

To my right? Same thing, except I can see the Academy/Hokage's office and the stone faces.

Behind me?

I turn. And look up.

Huh. Whaddya know. It's Naruto's apartment.

Would he be home right now? Or is he doing Kakashi's genin test thing. I barely remember what happened in Part 1. Oh well. I should probably take the time to get familiar with my new home.

New home.

What about my old home, back in the real world? Lmao jk, that place sucked. I kinda miss my dog tho. She'd be sad without me. Eh, she'll manage.

I walk up to the door. I grab the handle and try to turn it. It's locked.

How am I meant to live here when the door is LOCKED???

I pat my legs out of habit. I hear the familiar sound of a set of keys clinking in my right pocket.

When did those get there? And since when did I have pockets? Eh, whatever. I like pockets. Anko probably stuck them in there when I wasn't paying attention. And I was, most of the time. Ninjas really are magical.

I take them out. It's a key ring with two of the same key. Presumably my house key.

I'll have to get some keychains or something to put on it. God I love keychains.

I put one of the keys in the lock, and turn it. A satisfying 'clunk' sounds as the door is unlocked.

Oh yeah. I can get used to this.

I push down the handle, and open the door.