* Please do not translate or repost this story.
Halfdan is in bed, trying to sleep, but he can't stop thinking about Kassia, about when she had been singing earlier tonight. Her song has gotten to him, and it seems to have gotten to Bjorn as well, because Halfdan can hear him tossing and turning in his bed.
"Her song was beautiful, was it not?"
"Huh?"
"The song she sang," Halfdan tries, as he turns in his bed, to face Bjorn. But Bjorn has a confused, and frustrated look on his face, and Halfdan realises that perhaps he hadn't been thinking about Kassia at all.
"Sure."
"Are you worried about tomorrow?"
"A little."
"But?" Halfdan asks, but his friend just shrugs his shoulders. Halfdan knows when to stop asking, so he turns on his back, and he closes his eyes, hoping to finally fall asleep. Hoping to get rid of Kassia's voice in his head.
"I was thinking of Torvi," Bjorn admits, but Halfdan keeps quiet, not sure what to say, what to ask. "I miss her."
"Of course. She's your wife," Halfdan says, but when a silence follows, he fears he may have said the wrong thing again.
"It's been a long time since I've seen her," Bjorn continues. "Since I've gotten to… touch her," he explains, and Halfdan finally understands his friend's frustration. He can't help but smile, yet he keeps quiet. "I long for her, Halfdan."
Halfdan looks over to his friend, and he realises that he has started touching himself underneath the covers. The fabric is so thin, that Halfdan can see the outline of his hand, of his hard prick.
He quickly looks away, but something makes him look back, makes him keep watching. Makes him look at Bjorn's face, at the way his lips are ever so slightly parted, his eyes closed. Halfdan knows he is probably imagining it's Torvi's hand around his prick, imagining he is back at home, fucking her.
"Bjorn?" he whispers, and his friend opens his eyes. "You want her to touch you, yes?"
"Of course."
"Then keep your eyes shut," Halfdan whispers, but he is only met by a confused look. "Shut them."
"Why?"
"Shut them," Halfdan repeats, and finally Bjorn does as he is told.
He hears Halfdan getting out of bed, ever so quietly, before making his way over to his bed. And when Bjorn can feel the cold of the covers being taken off of him, he wants to open his eyes, but he knows not to. So he keeps them closed, even when he feels his friend's hand sliding into his trousers. Even when he feels him grabbing hold of his prick.
But when he feels the warmth, the wetness of a mouth, he opens his eyes, half expecting to find a girl. To find Torvi.
But he watches, as Halfdan takes the full length of his prick into his mouth again, not even noticing that he is being watched. He is confident, focused, he knows what he is doing. Bjorn knows that seeing Halfdan should turn him off, it should make him want to punch him for touching him. But he can't stop watching, for the first time seeing something in his friend which he has never seen before.
Bjorn is trying to keep quiet, but Halfdan can hear his breathing become more ragged, and he knows that he isn't going to last long. If the situation had been different, he would have taken it slow, he would have known how to tease him, how to play with him. But he is just trying to help Bjorn get off, to help his fantasy. To make him feel like Torvi is with him, even if for only a moment.
Bjorn comes, quickly closing his eyes, not wanting Halfdan to know that he was being watched. But hearing his friend swallow hard, knowing that he is swallowing down his cum, before making his way over to his own bed again, it does something to Bjorn, there is no way he can deny that.
"You have done that before, have you not?" he asks, trying to break the uncomfortable silence, finally opening his eyes, and turning to face Halfdan, whose face is flushed. But he just catches him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and it makes him want to turn around, close his eyes, go to sleep. Not face him again. Ever. "I'm sorry, I…"
"Once or twice," Halfdan admits, a shy smile on his face, ignoring his friend's apology. "When the men in the army would be missing their wives, and there were no women around who were willing to… and there were no whores around…"
"You would do this for them?" Bjorn asks, a hurt in the pit of his stomach which he can't quite place.
"This… other things."
"Other things?"
"When they needed to fuck…" Halfdan shrugs. "I would let them."
"Fuck you?"
"Yes."
Halfdan can see Bjorn trying to take in this new information, and he wonders if he should have kept this to himself. But then perhaps his friend would have gotten the wrong idea, and wouldn't that have been worse? But when Bjorn finally looks up at him again, he sees a disappointed, hurt look in his eyes.
"I am not like those men, Halfdan."
"What do you mean?"
"If I want a whore, I will get myself one," Bjorn spits out, the words cutting Halfdan like a knife. "What just happened…"
"I am sorry, I was only trying to help."
"I know that, but don't you ever, ever, lower yourself like that again!"
After a night with the Emir's girls, Bjorn wakes up to Halfdan already having breakfast. After what had happened between them in Sicily, there had been an awkwardness, but after they had both been with a girl last night, Bjorn had hoped that the awkwardness would have lifted. But he can tell that something is still troubling his friend.
"How was your night?" Halfdan asks, trying to force a smile upon his face.
"Very satisfactory. And yours?"
"She was… not a she," Halfdan admits, as Bjorn sits down with him. Bjorn looks at him for a moment, and Halfdan can tell that he is thinking about what he had told him, about what he had done for the men in the army.
"What?"
"You heard."
"And uh… was that a problem for you?" Bjorn asks, unable to deny that he had been wondering whether Halfdan had find some kind of pleasure in what he had done for, and with those men. Or if he had simply been doing them a favour.
But he can see the uncomfortable look on his friend's face, and he can tell that he is getting embarrassed.
"I'm starving!"
"Halfdan," Bjorn warns him, and Halfdan sits back down with him. "Did you enjoy doing what you did?"
"What I…?"
"Did you enjoy… pleasuring men? Having them fuck you," Bjorn asks, Halfdan's face turning a dark shade of red.
"Please don't ask me that."
"There is no shame in it."
"Isn't there?"
"No," Bjorn reassures him, trying to reach out to him, but Halfdan avoids his touch, and his eyes. "If you find pleasure, or comfort in… the company of men, then…," Bjorn tries, but he isn't sure what he should, or could say to reassure Halfdan that there is nothing wrong with him. Because he can tell how deep the shame goes, that this is something that won't just go away with a word or two.
"I was nothing more than a whore to those men, Bjorn," Halfdan spits out. "A quick…"
"Don't!"
"Why not?" Halfdan asks. "Huh?"
"Because…"
"Because then it would mean that you have enjoyed the pleasure of a male whore, would it not?" Halfdan asks, keeping his voice down, but the words cut through Bjorn like a knife, and he gets up, and towers over him. "You are just like…"
Before Halfdan can even finish his sentence, Bjorn has punched him in the face, making him fall over onto the ground. He was still sitting, so it isn't the greatest fall, but just the shock of being punched in the face, by his best friend, it brings tears to Halfdan's eyes.
"You are not a whore. Do you hear me?" Bjorn spits out, but when he sees the tears forming in his friend's eyes, he kneels down beside him, wanting to reach out to touch his bleeding lip, but Halfdan flinches, and he pulls away.
"I am sorry," Halfdan whispers, bringing his fingers up to his lip.
"Don't you dare say such a thing again!"
Bjorn tries to reach out to him, and this time Halfdan lets him. Bjorn wraps his arms around him, holding him tight, until he has stopped shaking. He then lets go of him, and sits back down where he had sat before.
"What happened that night…," Bjorn whispers, and Halfdan looks up at him, nothing but fear in his eyes, his lip still bleeding. "I care for you, Halfdan."
"I am sorry."
"I am not. I just wish you would stop thinking of it as…"
"What would you want me to see it as?" Halfdan asks, and for a moment Bjorn hesitates, scared he has insulted him, hurt him. But then he notices a glint in his eye, almost like he is daring him. "What would you prefer to have me call it?"
"I am not sure," Bjorn admits. "Perhaps… a friendly…"
"Perhaps you will figure the answer out some other time, yes?"
"Are you ready to go home?" Bjorn asks, when he joins Halfdan.
Halfdan is sitting on the shore, watching the full moon, dreading tomorrow. Travelling with Bjorn, it had nearly cost him his life, and yet, he had never felt more alive. Knowing that they will have to go back home, that they will have to face their old lives again, it fills him up with nothing but dread.
"I want to come back here, see even more of the world," he admits, a small smile forming on his friend's lips. "You will take me with you, won't you?"
"Of course."
"You must be aching to get home though," Halfdan says. "To see your wife again, to…"
"I fear I have come to realise that I am not in love with her anymore," Bjorn admits. "I am longing for her, yes, but…"
"You are longing for a fuck."
"Yes," Bjorn says, staring out at the shore. "But I can't stay with her for only that, can I?"
"No. Will you tell her?"
"I fear I will have to."
"And then you will find yourself another wife?" Halfdan asks, and Bjorn looks up at him. "What?"
"Will you?"
"You know I can't," Halfdan whispers, turning his head to make sure no one is there to overhear them. "Perhaps I can, but…"
"You would not care for her?"
"No."
"Perhaps you could find someone you care for, live together…"
"You know that's not how it works," Halfdan snaps, a hurt look on his face. "When you are my age, you either settle down with a woman, or you spend your life in the company of whores. But you do not…"
"I know of plenty of men who go with men," Bjorn objects, but when he sees his friend looking away, he realises it is not the same. "But they do have wives…"
"This is enough for me, Bjorn. Getting to see the world," Halfdan says, and Bjorn can see his eyes lighting up. "With you."
Bjorn looks back out at the shore, but after a long silence, he carefully places his hand on his friend's leg. He half expects him to jump up, to run away, even to punch him in the face. But instead, Halfdan presses up against his touch. So he slides his hand up to his crotch, and starts stroking Halfdan's prick through the fabric of his trousers, but once he has gotten him hard, he takes his hand away.
"What are you…?" Halfdan whispers, his voice getting stuck in his throat. Bjorn realises how nervous he is, so he flashes a small, reassuring smile, but when it does nothing, when it brings no comfort, no reassurance, he presses his lips against Halfdan's mouth. Halfdan slides his tongue into Bjorn's mouth, and he is met with a hunger he has never tasted before. The men, he had never let them kiss him. The handful of men he had chosen to be with, whom he had cared for, who had left him for the women they had ended up marrying, they had kissed him, but there hadn't been this kind of hunger. This kind of passion. The kisses had been quick, as though the men had been embarrassed, ashamed to kiss him. Even the sex had been quick, before the men had quickly left again.
Bjorn's kiss makes Halfdan feel like his skin is on fire, but he isn't willing to let go. And it isn't until they hear a sound, that they both jump up and move away from each other.
"What was that?"
They turn and look, only to find two birds, fighting. Bjorn can't help but laugh, but it's a nervous laughter, and he breathes a sigh of relief.
"I thought…"
"Me too," Halfdan admits. "We should probably try and get some sleep, huh?"
"I don't want to go to sleep, Halfdan," Bjorn whispers, and for the first time, Halfdan can hear his voice shaking with nerves. "I want to stay with you tonight."
"Have you figured out the answer yet, to what you want that night to be? What you want this to be?"
"No," Bjorn admits, and he flashes a nervous smile. "But I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. About you. I want you, Halfdan."
"Don't."
"Not to do a favour, or to take my wife's place when I want her, but…," Bjorn admits, his heart beating so fast, that he is starting to feel dizzy. "That night, I wanted it to be you, not her. I wanted it to be your mouth. I wanted you to touch me."
"You were only missing…"
Halfdan doesn't even get a chance to finish his sentence, because Bjorn kisses him again, this time sliding his hand underneath his tunic, the cold touch of his fingers giving Halfdan chills all over.
"I want you," Bjorn whispers, as he brings his mouth up to Halfdan's ear. "I'll let you have me if that's what you want, I…"
"You would let me fuck you?" Halfdan asks, looking into his friend's eyes to see if he is being mocked or not. "Why?"
But when Halfdan sees the genuine caring look in Bjorn's eyes, he already knows the answer. Bjorn wants him not to be reminded of what he used to do, he doesn't want him to feel like he is here to be taken advantage of, like he is here just to pleasure someone else. He wants him to be equal, he wants him to have pleasure, without shame. He wants him to know that this is different.
"I care for you," Bjorn whispers, resting his forehead against Halfdan's. "If you tell me to go now, I will."
"No," Halfdan quickly says. He gives Bjorn a quick kiss, before sitting up, and sliding down his trousers, exposing his hard prick. Bjorn can't deny that seeing it sends a lightning bolt through his body, and he doesn't even bother hiding the fact that he is staring.
"Are you sure about this?" Halfdan asks, taking Bjorn's staring as shock, as regret. But Bjorn nods, a determined look on his face. Within seconds, his trousers have come down, and they are both staring at each other, fully aware of what is about to happen, what is about to change between them.
"This is going to hurt," Halfdan says, giving Bjorn yet another chance to back out, to change his mind, but Bjorn just nods. "So it's best if you…"
"I know, give me a moment," Bjorn snaps, and Halfdan can't help but smile at his nerves. Bjorn takes a deep breath, before getting down on all fours in the grass, staring up at the full moon, trying to prepare himself for what is about to happen. But when Halfdan slowly, and carefully starts pushing into him, he realises that there was no way he could have prepared himself for this.
Halfdan hears Bjorn letting out an almost animalistic growl, but he has been where he is now, and he knows what he is going through. So he slides up Bjorn's shirt, and leans down, pressing a, hopefully, comforting kiss on his back.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"Don't you dare," Bjorn growls, and Halfdan kisses his back again, before pushing further into him. He can see the beads of sweat already forming on his back, every muscle tensing, and for a moment, he wonders if he should be the one to stop this. But instead, he pulls out, before pushing back into him again, another animalistic growl coming from somewhere in the back of Bjorn's throat.
Bjorn can't deny that he is struggling to keep the tears away, that this is a pain he has never felt before, and yet, there is something about the feeling of Haldan's prick inside of him, of knowing that his best friend is fucking him, that he is inside of him right now, that those are his hands grabbing onto his hips right now, it is making him feel a high which no battle could ever make him feel. No win has ever made him feel this, no fuck, no woman. This, this is different. This is what had been missing, all the times he had been with someone, all the times he had been left feeling empty afterwards. All the times he had been left looking for more.
Halfdan pushes into him again, with such force, that Bjorn struggles not to fall down. Just feeling his force, his strength, it only turns him on more, and he can't help but look over his shoulder, just to see his face. And when he sees the sweat glistening on his face, his tunic sticking to his chest, it sends a shiver through his body.
"Fuck, Halfdan…"
"I know," Halfdan manages to bring out, and he pulls out. He spills all on Bjorn's bare back, and just feeling what has happened, it is enough to make Bjorn come. He brings his hand up to his back, and for a moment, Halfdan fears he is upset, but instead, Bjorn stares down at Halfdan's cum on his hand, a mischievous glint in his eye.
"Come here," Bjorn orders, and Halfdan does as he is told. "Kiss me."
Halfdan kisses him, but it's a hesitant, nervous kiss, so Bjorn slides his tongue into his mouth, wanting to taste the hunger, the fire, the sex. Halfdan is a little taken aback at the kiss, and he nearly falls over, but it doesn't matter, because Bjorn pushes him down, and he presses their bodies together, before bringing his mouth up to his ear.
"You will be here with me, won't you? When I come back here."
"Of course."
"Swear it to me."
"I swear."