A Place Called You
Prompt 102: Harvey gets into a car accident on his way from Paula's to Donna to unaccept her resignation in 7×13. The hospital calls Mike as he is an emergency contact too (and they can't reach Donna - his main emergency contact - right away for whatever reason). Mike calls Paula because as far as he knows she is Harvey's girlfriend. Harvey is unconscious. Paula is hurt, in denial, or angry and pretends Harvey never broke up with her and takes control. What does she do? What about Donna's resignation? What happens when Harvey wakes up?
AN: This was an idea that got stuck in my head. Not beta'd, so I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes xx Based on a prompt submitted to SuitsPrompts. If anyone needs ideas, check out the twitter account. It's got loads of great prompts! Such a wonderful page :D
...
Pain is the first thing Harvey registers. White hot flares shoot through his side as he wakes up, the surrounding room blurry, and he blinks, sucking in a sharp breath at the figure beside his bed. He tries to focus on the soft swimming smile, and he feels slightly more at ease, letting his eyes fall closed again. She's here with him—where she's supposed to be. He can't manage much, his head pounding and his thoughts muddled, but his lips twitch as he dryly croaks her name. "Donna…"
Warm fingers cover his hand, and a small voice whispers back.
"Harvey, it's Paula. You've been in an accident."
The foreign accent confuses him, his mind trying to process information that isn't right. An accident? No. He was just with Donna.
Will you come back?
Yes.
Then I'm okay.
He groans, unable to determine if the snippet was real or a dream, and the desperate need to force his eyes open stirs within him. But the urge is drowned by a heaviness he can't escape, and he succumbs to the darkness—hoping the next time he wakes, Donna has found her place beside him.
…
"Did you speak to Marcus?"
"I told him to stay in Boston for now. Harvey won't want his family making a fuss."
"The doctor said he put up a fight. For once, I'm grateful he was so stubborn."
"You and me, both."
Two voices filter into Harvey's consciousness, crystal clear and ringing loudly between his ears. He grunts, the noise too much for his aching head.
"Come on, old man… you've had enough of a timeout."
"Screw you," he grumbles, the darkness behind his eyes slowly replaced by harsh, white hospital walls. His focus zeros in on two shadows materializing, and he squints at Mike and... Paula. "What are you doing here?"
"I called her," Mike answers. He doesn't want to overwhelm the man, or go in details, but Marcus rang him in a blind panic because the hospital couldn't get through to Donna, and Marcus needed someone in New York to be a proxy. Fortunately, the car accident yielded no life-threatening injuries, but the doctor confirmed Harvey has a shattered collarbone and three broken ribs. When he couldn't get through to Donna, either, he called Paula, not wanting Harvey to wake up alone while he was giving Marcus updates. In hindsight, Harvey's girlfriend probably should have been the first person he tried, but dialing Donna was an instinct, and it still feels strange that she isn't here. But like it or not, Harvey chose to be with Paula, and Harvey's going to need someone taking care of him for the next few days.
"Do you remember what happened?" Paula questions nervously. When Mike rang, the truth about what happened between her and Harvey was poised on her lips, but she swallowed the news of their break-up, agreeing to meet him at the hospital. The last thing she wanted to hear was that Harvey had been hurt, but a small, tiny part of her hopes the accident will prompt him to see their situation in a new light.
Harvey winces, trying to sift through the fog clouding his memories.
Do you think I haven't wracked my brain trying to figure some other way out of this?
He and Donna were in his office, fighting.
Because I have, Donna. But I don't see one.
Her face was harsh and cold, walling in the tears his yelling forced away.
Maybe I do.
Then she left him the letter.
The goddamn resignation letter.
He tore it up and handed it back to her—made things right between them. Donna should be here, and his eyes dart frantically around the room in search of her, landing on his personal effects heaped on the table; his phone, keys, wallet… and the envelope with its white crumpled edges still intact. A sense of dread stronger than pain coils at the base of his spine, and his breaths pull in faster.
Sensing his distress, Paula tentatively reaches to cover his hand. "You've been through a lot. Just try to relax."
Relaxing is the last thing he's capable of, and he wrenches his hand back, flinching through a wave of pain. He remembers now—leaving Paula's apartment, racing to find Donna, the jarring impact as the cab screeched on its tires. He ended things with Paula, but he never made it to Donna's apartment. "I need to go." He tries to sit up with an agonizing grunt, but Mike palms his good shoulder, forcing him back down.
"Hey! Stop it. You're not going anywhere." He issues the stern warning. Whatever Harvey thinks he needs, the doctors are the ones calling the shots, and they said Harvey would be in for a minimum of two nights.
Harvey growls through a wheeze. "You don't… understand, I have to—"
"The only thing you're going to do is rest." Mike puts his foot down, propelled by his own exhaustion and the haunting memory of his own parents' fateful crash. "You're lucky to be alive. Trust me, everything else can wait."
"He's right, Harvey." Paula chimes in, her heart sinking at his eagerness to leave, and fearful she's able to guess why he's being so irrational. But Donna isn't here, she is. "There's nothing you can do tonight."
"The hell there isn't."
Mike frowns, worried by Harvey's determination as he grapples for his phone. Paula doesn't stop him, but she sags back with a frustrated sigh, and he glances between the pair, growing curious. "What's going on?"
Paula shakes her head, refusing to answer, and Harvey glares when the call goes through to voice-mail, snapping at Mike. "Where's Donna?"
"She's… I don't know," he admits. At the time, he hadn't delved into why her phone was off, and when he found out Harvey was going to be okay, reaching her wasn't as vital. But now, with the tension in the room skyrocketing, he feels a sudden surge of panic. "Why?"
Harvey tosses the phone down with a useless huff. Things weren't supposed to be like this. He knew the second his eyes landed on Donna's resignation where his heart fell on the matter, but Paula's right. He can't do anything from a goddamn hospital bed. Mike needs to find Donna, and he reluctantly spills the truth. "Donna resigned."
"What!? Why would she—" Mike stops, the answer glaringly obvious. Harvey's barely uttered a word to Paula, and her rigid form is speaking volumes about the status of their relationship. He honestly doesn't know whether to shout a hallelujah and celebrate Harvey seeing the light, or slap the man for letting things escalate to a point where Donna actually walked away. "I'll go find her."
"Of course you will," Paula breathes, her sadness encased by a bitter sting. Donna turned her phone off. And yet, the redhead's petty behavior is being rewarded by both men. If Donna cared at all, she would have acted like a grown-up, not thrown a tantrum.
"Excuse me?" Mike calls out the catty remark, ready to reprimand her for not mentioning anything a damn thing while Harvey was unconscious, but Harvey interjects first.
"Mike, go. Just… make sure Donna's okay." The soft spiral of his plea earns him another glare from Paula, and he's pissed, too. They ended things amicably. Or he thought they did. And he could understand if she was here out of concern, but the fact she didn't say a word to Mike about their break-up speaks volumes about her agenda. "Why did you stay?"
Guilt flickers behind her anger as she takes in the cast around his arm. "I thought…" She breathes in deeply, telling the truth. "I thought you might need someone."
Her resolve ebbing away makes him sigh. He can translate—she thought he might wake up with a different perspective. But he doesn't need a girlfriend helping him get changed in the morning. He needs Donna, not for any one reason, but because he just... does. "I'm fine. You should go home."
"Are you?" She can read in his eyes he isn't, but if nothing else, being here tonight has rammed home that until he and Donna get over their unhealthy codependencies, no one else deserves to get pulled in and flattened by their mess. "Goodbye, Harvey."
He watches her leave, limply clutching his phone and falling back with a pained growl. If he's honest, he's more frustrated with himself than Paula. And if he's brutally honest, his anger is just a manifestation of his fear. Donna would have assumed he saw her letter hours ago and that he chose Paula, but the situation couldn't be further from the truth.
He just hopes Mike can get her to listen to reason, because his perception of things has changed.
Now he knows she means everything to him.
…
Hours later, the empty chair Harvey wakes to hits hard. Harder than the pain he's in or that moisture that clings behind his gaze as he reaches for his phone. Then he stops, scared to read a message that will confirm his worst fear—that the damage he did to his relationship with Donna is irreparable. He hurt her, maybe badly enough for her to leave for good this time, and his chest constricts when a noise suddenly whispers above the sound of his ragged breathing.
"Hey."
One word and air fills his lungs again, his eyes shifting to the far wall where she's leaning, her arms folded loosely as she attempts a smile. "How are you feeling?"
"Better now," he answers honestly. When she doesn't move, he attempts to push himself up, grimacing with the effort. And then she's beside him, her hands warm as she helps him into a sitting position. "Thanks." Her touch falls away too quickly, her sunken cheeks and red eyes dipping down as she sinks into the chair beside his bed. He feels terrible for what he put her through, both with Paula and the accident, and he does his best to reassure her his injuries aren't as bad as they look. "I'm okay."
She nods, scrubbing her face with a sigh. "I know." When Mike appeared at her apartment, he'd cut straight to the point—Havey had been in an accident but would make a full recovery. At first she was wracked with guilt until the crushing realization that Harvey didn't want her in his life flooded back in. Tears that had only just stopped started again, and she almost broke Mike's foot in her hurry to escape his questions,, but he wedged himself in the door, forcing her to listen. And she did—her insides turning when Mike said he could tell things were over between Paula and Harvey. When she left her letter of resignation on Harvey's desk, a small part of her was almost relieved. She would grieve the loss and move on. Now she's here, pulled back into the same mess, and grieving what could have happened, what she was almost responsible for. "I know you're okay." She smiles weakly, her lips quivering as she wipes her eyes. "I should go."
"Wait." He panics, wincing as he clutches for the letter beside her. "I was coming over to tell you—"
"It doesn't matter, Harvey." She pushes his arm down, not wanting to have a conversation about her resignation while he's in pain. Just because he broke things off with Paula doesn't mean they should keep fighting for something that keeps hurting them in the long run. But telling him as much now would only start a fight neither have the energy for. "Get some rest. I'll stop by tomorrow."
She stands up, and he grits his teeth, stealing the envelope off the table. "Take this." He hands it towards her, hoping she'll reach out, and holding his breath when she doesn't. He has no idea what Mike said to get her here, but she came, and that has to count for something. "Donna, please."
Her teeth sink into her lip as she shakes her head. "I can't. I'm sorry, Harvey."
He lowers his arm, in too much pain to keep it up, but the fire burning through his shoulder is nothing compared to the thrumming beating in his chest when she turns away. But he can read in her silence what she isn't saying, and she's right—they've been here too many times, with one of them walking away.
Well, not this goddamn time.
"Argh!"
Donna spins on her heel at the sound of his cry, her eyes being as he swings his legs over the side of the bed. "What the hell are you doing!?"
He feels her hands on him again, maneuvering him back onto the mattress, and he grunts, taking a second to catch his breath.
He screws his eyes shut, and she wants to scream at him for being so stupid, but she controls the urge, torn as he collects himself. "Harvey—"
"I'm asking you... to stay." He needs to sink back, the room spinning beyond his control, and he takes a chance, clutching his side as he meets her worried gaze. "Using emotional blackmail, if I have to."
Her eyes are full of goddamn tears and she chokes on a laugh, a goddamn laugh, when she should know better. But then a sob swallows the rasp of amusement, and she sinks her head into hands because he's choosing now to fight for them, when she was on the precipice of giving up. "Why?" Her voice claws its way out, and she lifts her gaze, finding Harvey's no longer filled with any traces of humor. "And don't tell me I know why, because—"
"I want more," he admits the words he's been afraid to say—scared because he couldn't afford to lose her. But he's taken that risk every time he came up short trying to tell her how he feels. He didn't have a plan mapped out for what he was going to say when he showed up at her apartment. He's fairly certain he wasn't going to confess anything this real, but when he woke up after the accident, his gaze landing on Paula, his head realized what his heart's been trying to tell him—that Donna is the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and she's the last person he wants to see at night. They flirt, they drink, and he calls her up at 6am in the morning because she's who he wants to be with.
Her heart flutters as he holds her gaze—not blinking or backing down despite the pain he's in, and she can see something has changed, but she's convinced herself of that before; when they slept together, after he said he loved her, when she kissed him. She wants to believe it's different this time, but he was just in a major accident, and her gaze flitters to the resignation letter still crumpled at the foot of his bed.
"Donna…"
He steers her away from the paper, wishing he could lean forward, take her in his arms, do something that isn't just pleading with his eyes, but he's physically exhausted, and all he can do is urge her to have faith. "I'm sure."
A warmth spreads through her as she settles her hand on the mattress, close to his good arm, but far enough away so they're not touching. "How sure?"
He deserves the warning. After everything he's put her through, it's only fair, but he brushes her fingers, disguising his groan with a smile. "I'm sure these painkillers aren't doing a goddamn thing to cloud my judgment."
She clasps his hand firmly, letting the last of her walls crumble, and realizing she should have called for a nurse the moment he tried to get out of bed. "I'll go find—"
"Not yet." He grows serious again, squeezing her fingers. Even though his body is working against him, he's not ready to let her go, and his eyes fall closed as a compromise. "A few more minutes," he mumbles, savoring the feel of her touch.
…
Hours later, he wakes to less pain and a fresh drip in his arm, but his smile has nothing to do with the drugs being pumped into his system, and everything to do with Donna's curled up form in the chair beside his bed.
He's still not ready to let her out of his sight, but he reaches for his phone and uses one hand to text Ray, changing his morning pickup to the hospital so he can send Donna home. Because for the first time since they met, he's not worried about losing or keeping her.
All he can see is a future together, and he knows getting knocked into this life is the best thing that's ever happened to him.