Bump in the Night
Subaru came to his senses slowly, it wasn't morning yet but something felt off. He cracked an eye open and confirmed it was still nighttime, only the light of the stars and moon coming in through the window let him see the outline of his room but there was something more, a presence.
Subaru carefully reached a hand up his bed sheets to grab a corner of his pillow.
"Take this intruder! Feel the wraith of a hundred sleepovers!" Subaru shouted as he quickly sat up and flung the pillow in the direction of the presence that had woken him.
"Hymhp!"
Direct hit, the interloper fell backwards and landed on their butt after taking the pillow to the face. As the pillow fell away Subaru finally got a good look at who it was.
"Rem?! What are you doing in my room?" Subaru asked as he made out the form of his coworker in the moonlight, Rem was wearing her nightclothes looking slightly bashful as she placed the pillow he threw at her on her knees.
"Ah, Subaru-kun, I was… simply admiring your sleeping form, I did not mean to wake you... you're normally a much heavier sleeper…" Rem answered with a slight flush.
"Ah, I see." Subaru closed his eyes and nodded sagely at her words for a moment before his eyes bolted wide open again. "Wait a minute, that's not normal at all."
Rem had made some comments about watching him sleep before but Subaru had always just brushed them off as a kind of flirtation or perhaps she was referring to the time she saw Emilia give him a lap pillow. Actually waking up to Rem watching him sleep was slightly unsettling.
You're normally a much heavier sleeper.
"Rem, how often do you do this?" Subaru asked in a neutral tone.
Rem pouted and looked to the side, she didn't want to give an answer that would upset Subaru. Subaru just stared, waiting for an answer until she started squirming.
"…Most nights…" She finally admitted. Rem glanced up at him but then looked down. "Are you angry at Rem?" She asked and hugged the pillow he threw at her.
Subaru sighed. "I'm not angry, more surprised than anything, but Rem, if your here most nights than when do you sleep?"
Rem was the first one awake in the mansion, lately she was even acting as Subaru's alarm clock, knocking on his door before he was late for his duties from sleeping in. Subaru had assumed she just went to bed earlier than anyone else but if she was making late night visits to his room more often than not he wondered where she was getting that morning vigor from.
"Gazing upon Subaru-kun's sleeping form gives me as much energy as rest." Rem answered cheerfully now that she was assured he wasn't mad at her.
Subaru chuckled slightly at that answer, it was a very Rem thing to say. Like when she sung grandiose praises of her sister or more recently himself, only now that he's caught her in the act, it didn't seem like just talk, she really thought that highly of him, to the extent that she could use only his visage as subsistence itself.
"You know, your giving off some yandere vibes there Rem." Subaru half joked.
Rem tilted her head. "Subaru-kun, what is a yandere?" Rem sounded out the unfamiliar word.
Subaru hummed as he thought of how to explain the word to someone with no foundation of the culture, media, and tropes that created it.
"A yandere is someone who loves someone else too much, they'll prioritize that person above anything else, including themselves." Subaru answered with his finger raised.
Rem looked up at Subaru as if he had just given her a great compliment. She stood and looked Subaru in the eye as he sat on his bed.
"Rem is Subaru-kun's yandere." She proudly declared while giving him a brilliant smile.
"Ah, wait, Rem, that's-" Subaru held up his hands to try and get her to pause while he thought of how to explain that being a yandere was supposed to be a negative, not a title to wear with pride.
"Just as Subaru-kun is Emilia's yandere." Rem finished.
"-Hurlk!" Subaru gasped and clutched at his chest.
"Subaru-kun?"
"Sorry, that did more damage than I expected." Subaru panted as he caught his breath. He fell back onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. "I'm not sure I deserved that…" He mumbled to himself.
Subaru sat back up and put his feet over the bed. "Lets forget about the whole yandere thing, I won't be able to sleep if I keep thinking about those implications, I might not be getting back to sleep as it is." he sighed as his mind felt quite awake by now.
Rem frowned at this but decided to trust his judgement, clearly there was some context with being a yandere that she was missing. She bowed apologetically to him.
"Rem is sorry she disturbed your sleep, I will accept any punishment you wish." Rem said solemnly.
"And then you won't do it again right?" asked Subaru.
Rem didn't answer and stared at him passively.
Subaru sighed and chuckled to himself a little. "Nice poker face, alright what shall your punishment be…" He brought his hand to his chin and considered. He wasn't really mad at Rem, was it creepy that she watched him sleep? Sure maybe a little but it was also fairly harmless, heck she even told him she did it before, he just didn't believe her.
"I got it, your punishment shall be to keep me company tonight, so long as my sleep schedule is getting ruined so shall yours!" Subaru declared.
Rem gave him a smile. "Not that I mind but that seems more of a reward than a punishment to me, Subaru-kun."
"You say that now but you'll know the truth when both of our bodies ache doing chores tomorrow, the punishment fits the crime." Subaru sat on the floor and leaned against his bed, he patted the floor next to him indicating Rem to join him.
Rem sat down beside Subaru and hugged the pillow she was still holding against her knees, it smelled of Subaru. "You don't wish to sit on the bed, or your desk chair?" She asked.
"Nah, impromptu things like this should be done improvised, besides I'm not sure my heart could take having you on my bed this time of night in your pajamas." Subaru admitted with a slight flush.
Rem smiled at that and hugged her pillow a little tighter. "I would not mind." She said very softly.
Subaru's back stiffened at hearing this.
"You would not mind what exactl- No, nope, this is a punishment! You hear?" Subaru shook himself trying not to think about whatever acts Rem was implying she would allow. Hearing such a bold invitation had his heart beating quicker, there would definitely be no more sleep tonight.
"Your going to make all those things your sister says about me come true if you keep that up." Subaru joked.
"Sister's intuition is almost never wrong, besides if what she says were true, that Subaru-kun really is a lecherous man…" Rem paused and looked Subaru in eyes, she scooted an inch or so closer to him.
"I would not mind." Rem said again, this time with a teasing smile.
Subaru felt his face flush deeply, he stared at Rem for a moment before he couldn't take it anymore and looked out the window. "You really are a demon, your messing with me right?"
Rem didn't answer that and just took in his reaction, she was only half teasing him, not that she expected him to take her up on that offer, his heart still belonged to Emilia but it was encouraging to see she could get him so flustered with a little flirting.
"A-anyway, What's on the agenda for chores tomorrow?" Subaru asked attempting to change the topic.
"Mostly cleaning the western wing and taking care of the front gardens." Rem replied. Aside from the daily chores, like restroom maintenance and cooking meals, most chores in the Mather's mansion were done on a cyclical basis, Subaru hadn't figured out if there was an official pattern to follow but the twins always knew what needed done next.
Subaru nodded and mentally prepared himself for the upcoming day. "Heh, my mother would be shocked if she knew how much house work I've been doing these days."
"Where is your mother now?" Rem asked, it occurred to her that she didn't know much about Subaru's background and there were many curious qualities about him such as how he was clearly educated and yet somehow he only had a very basic reading and writing comprehension, not to mention the extreme gaps in his cultural knowledge.
"Ah…" Subaru regretted bringing her up, he had been trying not to think about the his old life, his old world, and what he left behind. He felt guilty about that, but it also felt like a quagmire in his mind, something that if he thought on too long it would suck him down until he couldn't see the light anymore.
"My parents are… far away, strange circumstances took me away from them and now I'm not certain if I'll see them again." Subaru didn't want to lie to Rem but he also couldn't tell her the whole truth.
"Rem is sorry if this is a painful topic, you do not have to speak further if you do not wish." She could tell from his tone that his mood had dampened, Rem decided she would not pry further into his past unless he wished her too.
"Not your fault." Subaru dismissed, but the damage was done, the conversation had died. They both sat in silence for awhile, watching the night landscape through the window.
Subaru felt himself begin to sink in the quagmire, thorny thoughts began to poke at his mind. Did he just disappear in his world? Went out to buy some junk food and never came back? Were his parents looking for him? He had no way of knowing and no way home, he hoped for their sake they could get over his disappearance quickly…. or was that a selfish thought?
Subaru stared at a single spot on the window as these thoughts consumed his mind, his eyes unfocused and he forgot to blink.
"I just wish I could've said goodbye to them…" He finally said, more to himself than anything else.
"I also wish that." Rem said after a moment.
Subaru blinked. He turned to look at Rem, she was leaning forward resting her head her knees and the pillow, she gave him a sad, sympathetic smile.
Subaru felt his spirits lift a little. He wasn't alone, Rem understood his feelings even if she couldn't know his full circumstances and he couldn't know what it was like to be orphaned at a young age, they had this connection in common. That solidarity helped.
He returned her smile with a grateful one.
"Alright, enough melancholy. Now what shall we discuss to pass the many hours of restful slumber you've stolen from me?" Subaru said in a chipper tone.
Rem pouted. "I didn't steal so many hours, the sun will rise soon and that's about when I normally wake Subaru-kun."
"Ah but those are the best hours of sleep, when you are so close to grasping the meaning of your dreams before they abruptly end, not to mention the peaceful encounter of a maid gently nudging me awake. That's become my preferred method of waking, so you see, you stole my r.e.m. from me." Subaru smiled at the unintentional pun.
Rem was caught between trying to deepen her pout at his continued teasing and being pleased that he enjoyed having her wake him up everyday. The result was an adorable flustered pout even as her cheeks turned red.
"Hehe, that's quite a cute face Rem."
"Subarrruu-kuun." Rem whined as she crushed his pillow further.
Subaru relented his teasing and they went back to a companionable silence for a small while. The night sky was slowly getting brighter, the horizon was turning a dark purplish blue as the stars slowly began to fade away.
"Subaru-kun, is it bad to be a yandere?" Rem asked breaking the silence.
Subaru sighed, he supposed he owed her an explanation from earlier, clearly it had been on her mind.
"Well, yeah I guess it is. A yandere is someone who loves someone else too much, it becomes a jealous love where the only thing they care about is that person. They can't stand if the person of their affection is interacting with anyone else, it becomes destructive not just for everyone else but the yandere too, it's not good to just live for someone else, you have to be a person too…" Subaru trailed off. He felt a little uncomfortable, Rem had called him Emilia's yandere not long ago. He wondered if there was some truth to that statement that he didn't want to address.
"I see…" Rem was also quietly contemplating Subaru's words. If Subaru told her being a yandere was bad then, paradoxically, she didn't want to be one. She liked Subaru and desperately wanted to ensure he liked her back, but she could also see what Subaru was getting at, it was a lesson her sister had tried to teach her several times throughout their lives.
'Just be you, Rem.' She felt like she understood those words better now than she ever did.
Rem let go of the pillow she had hugged to death and put it to the side. "I don't believe I am Subaru's yandere."
Subaru, glad for the distraction away from his thoughts smirked and turned to tease Rem a little. "No? You were the one watching me sleep not long ago."
Rem smiled and shook her head. "It is true that I feel happiest when I am in your presence and I won't claim to feel nothing when I see how far you go to impress Emilia-sama, but my feelings for you don't form a void where nothing else matters. In fact, it's really the opposite."
Rem started playing with her nightgown, pinching the clothe and rolling it between her fingers. "I'm not certain I could explain how much you've done for me Subaru-kun, I used to be consumed with guilt for what happened in the past but you showed me I can move forward, I don't need to be chained to my memories of guilt and inadequacy. You taught me to look towards the future, with a smile." Rem turned and looked towards Subaru who was giving her his full wide eyed attention.
"Since that time when we talked after the mabeast attacked, I've simply been happier, I feel more fulfilled. When I do chores now, I work hard because I want to do a good job, not because I feel obligated to. I feel better interacting with everyone, even sister has noticed."
Subaru smiled at that, Rem was pretty reserved in his previous loops, he had at one point written that off as her not trusting him and the witch's scent but since talking to her after the mabeast attack it was clear it went deeper than that. Subaru found it hard to believe that his words had made so much of a difference but he was happy for her nonetheless.
"Rem still has moments when she doubts herself, but I know I can do better in the future, I think about the future now. You taught me that Subaru-kun, my feelings for you don't form a void where nothing else matters but rather they are a light that touches on all parts of my life." As Rem said this the sun began to crest the horizon filling the room with the glow of dawn's first light.
"How could I not admire the person who showed me all these things?" Rem asked staring into his eyes intently.
Subaru felt his cheeks flush as he looked upon Rem's face of devotion.
"I think you give me too much credit, no one wants to live feeling down on themselves like that, everyone wants to do better, you just needed to hear that things can be better from someone, it didn't have to be me."
Rem shook her head at his denial, she turned back to face the window and the sunrise and leaned her head onto his shoulder. "But it was you." She said softly.
Subaru put his arm around her shoulders and let her words sink in. He still didn't feel like he deserved the praise she gave him but he couldn't deny a part of him felt good to hear it, he decided to let it go, he doubted he could get Rem to budge on this anyway.
"Happy to help." Subaru rubbed her shoulder and she hummed in contentment.
They stayed like that watching the sunrise until it was truly morning outside.
"This is around when I would wake you Subaru-kun." Rem sighed, her alone time with Subaru ending felt like more of a punishment than any sleep she lost out on.
"Right." Subaru stood and stretched and then he offered his hand to Rem to help her up.
Rem grabbed it and pulled, she used the momentum to stand and jump into a hug. Subaru was surprised for a moment but quickly wrapped his arms around her in the morning light.
"This has been a truly awful punishment Subaru-kun." Rem said with light sarcasm.
"Hm-Hmm, Hope you've learned your lesson." Subaru joked.
"...Your really not upset? With me watching you sleep?" Rem asked more seriously, she would stop if he asked.
"Nah, your just a little obsessed with the people you care about, it's one of the things that makes Rem, Rem." Subaru spoke honestly, compared to his first week at the mansion having Rem watch him sleep was nothing and more than that he was happy with the way things were now, he had jumped off a cliff for Rem, and he would do it again if he had to.
"I think I might be the same way."
Rem smiled at that, the idea of her and Subaru being the same delighted her. If she could be to Subaru what he is to her Rem thinks she would be truly happy. She hugs him a little tighter before letting go and leaving his room to get changed and start on morning chores.
The next night Subaru notices his pillow smells like Rem.
Shoutout to studio White Fox for an amazing season 2 of Re:Zero.
So I'm a Rem fan and missed her enough watching season 2 to inspire me to write this fic. The main idea came from imagining Subaru catching Rem in the act of watching him sleep like it was hinted at in the winter festival episode and then Rem not knowing what a yandere is after Subaru calls her one. Despite being a Rem fan I do agree with some of the common criticisms against her character, that being she is kinda one dimensional in her devotion to Subaru and more than a little obsessive. I wanted to lightly touch on those topics in this fic, do you think I did a good job?