"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong" -Murphy's Law
"Behold, the outside world!" Zorome slapped Hiro hard on the back and grinned, trying to tousle his hair but failing miserably. On this fine Friday afternoon, Hiro, college student, complete weeb, was forced out of the comfort zone of his home and into the great unknown of, well, outside of campus. But how? How did everything go so horribly wrong?
To Hiro, the perfect Friday afternoon consisted of 2 things - His phone, and the mancave. Well, as much of a man-cave one could make while sharing an already cramped room with, well, ordinary friend, faithful Goro. The man-cave was his comfort zone - PlayStation, Laptop, the free apple earpieces in the name of saving money, table and a chair. However, any chance of sitting at home and enjoying the comfort of the new chapter of Grand Blue and binging Jujutsu Kaisen was promptly ruined when he entered the room and found Goro, Zorome and Futoshi trashing his side of the room.
The next few hours would be spent cleaning the, uh, remains, of the trio in his side of the room while they watched the first three Oceans movies on Goro's bed, followed by sleeping. The anime grind really took a lot out of Hiro's sleep schedule. When Hiro did wake up though, the end credits were rolling for Ocean's Thirteen, Zorome was acting as Hiro's impromptu ungodly-hour-o'-clock alarm, Futoshi was now reciprocating what he had done to Hiro's bed to Goro's, and Goro trying to stop said destruction.
And back to the present moment. Gone was any chance of enjoying the comforting glow of his computer or the solace that came with reading a good book or manga alone, replaced by the noise of peak hour traffic, enough headlights to give anyone, especially someone who just woke up, an epilepsy attack, and the pain of walking. The best part was that Hiro didn't even know where they were even going!
"Trust me", they said. "It'll be fun," they said.
Murphy's law dictates that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. That night, Hiro never agreed with it more.
First, it was a bar. That was a huge no-no. It wasn't as if Hiro had a low alcohol tolerance. It was more like the other three did. Closed off and introverted as Hiro was, he wasn't a complete social recluse, and had gone to other bars with the three. However, each experience had ended in great pain and suffering for Hiro, and only Hiro, because the other three were too fucking drunk to remember a thing. Zorome, for one, was an angry drunk. Somehow, alcohol gave Zorome more "confidence" than Zorome already had. This should have been scientifically impossible. Zorome was so full of shit that it should be impossible, but apparently it was. All in all, it meant getting Zorome back in the Uber was a mammoth task, mainly because no human being should experience the amount of pain Hiro's eardrums did when he dealt with drunk Zorome.
Futoshi was different. Not better, just different. Futoshi was a sad drunk, choosing to spill all his anxiety about being unable to get a girlfriend, his failed, one-sided relationship with some girl he met during the holidays the one time he did get a girlfriend, and finally, just generally sulky. While Zorome actively opposed getting out of the bar, Futoshi would just moan on the high tables and cry while holding a can of beer, cry, drink more beer, and cry more. It wouldn't be an issue if Futoshi was Zorome's size, but Futoshi was uh, heavier, and Hiro's top-flow weeb lifestyle didn't really have much space for working out.
Thankfully, Goro was a lot milder. Drunk Goro was basically sober Zorome, so really, it just worked out in the end. Hiro had plenty of experience dealing with sober Zorome, so that was fine.
Second- wait. Actually, drunk Zorome and drunk Futoshi were bad enough. All in all, introverted Hiro had no problems going to bars, but the company he went with did, and Hiro just wouldn't go by himself because, y'know, the ever-so-slightly crippling anime addiction. Ultimately, going to the bar was just a spiralling tornado of a shit, and Hiro was in the eye of the storm.
When they did reach the entrance, Hiro looked at Zorome and Futoshi, arms akimbo.
"Are you guys gonna get drunk?"
"Yup."
"I'm ou-" Hiro would have left, but Zorome grabbed him and held him there. As much as he hated to admit it, Zorome was actually strong, given that he chose to channel his hyperactiveness into rugby and was actually a competent winger.
"Okay, I promise I won't get drunk. Just, come on man, live life a little!" Zorome grabbed onto Hiro's arm, giving the most un-cute puppy face Hiro ever had the fortune (or in this case, misfortune) to see, and nonconsensually dragged Hiro into the bar, mysteriously titled "the Franxx".
Welp.
This was going to be fun.
Not.
Or was it?
When Hiro entered the bar, he wasn't immediately slammed by the blinding flashbangs for disco lights and eardrums destroyed by blaring speakers blasting overplayed TikTok songs, or immediately lost in a sea of people moving to the beat, or just generally gyrating on their partner's crotch. Instead, people were actually shuffling around, trying to find a seat in the large hall, and other people were setting up the stage.
No way. Did they actually-
"Yup!" Goro grinned at Hiro and gently patted his back. "This is actually a decent bar!" He pulled a chair for Hiro and sat him down. "As much as Zorome and Futoshi didn't really want this, they agreed to bring you to a half decent bar so you could finally have fun. And they actually agreed to stay sober!"
Behind Goro, Hiro could see Zorome make a mad dash for the bar, eagerly scanning the drinks menu.
"Well, for as long as possible I guess." Hiro sighed, and sat back. Well, since they were being so considerate, he might as well try and have some fun.
1 hour and 10 bottles of Spiritus later.
Hiro was fucking stoned. At least, he damned well looked like it.
Goro looked at Hiro slumped on the bar counter, 10 bottles of Spirytus beside him, empty and sad. One of the bottles had toppled over, and when Goro reached out to straighten the bottle again, he felt this stinging sensation in his eyes.
D-did the alcohol just evaporate into his eye? The hell was Hiro even drinking? And did that puddle just get even smaller? He turned the bottle to reveal the vodka's alcohol content.
96% Alcohol.
What the fuck? Weren't like, lab sanitisers, like 80%? Wouldn't putting lab sanitiser into the bottle dilute the fucking thing?
And Hiro drank 10 fucking bottles of that shit?
Fuck, no wonder man was like knocked out. Ignoring the burning sensation in his eyes from what was basically pure ethanol, he tapped Hiro's shoulder.
"Yeah?" Hiro looked up groggily, words surprisingly not slurred like drunk Futoshi's. Who was, surprisingly, still sober. He and Zorome decided to do a "who could stay sober longest" contest, and Zorome being Zorome, accepted with all the bravado in the world and hadn't drunk a single drop. Which was quite something, given that they were in a bar.
"You okay?" Goro asked worriedly, switching his gaze between Hiro, he who was partially dead to the world with or without alcohol, and the stage, where all the instruments were set up. While Zorome had said that they came for Hiro, they actually came for the music.
In particular, the hot girls in the band. Rumour had it that occasionally (including that day!), this band would show up and play music, and they were all pretty hot. Goro, being like every other male, wanted a piece of the action. A little bit of eye candy never hurt anyone, y'know?
But, Goro was also a decent human being, and he wanted Hiro to enjoy it too.
"Dude, go wash your face." Goro tapped the bar counter to get his attention again, and pointed towards the corridor in the secluded corner of the hall, where there was a toilet sign. Sighing, Hiro got up and slowly trudged toward the toilet, occasionally swaying and grabbing a table. Although it wasn't a pretty sight, he had drunk more than 7 litres of pure alcohol, so being able to stand, let alone walk was already a feat.
And as pitiful a sight as it was, he slowly but surely made it to the toilet. Goro watched him disappear around the corner, let out a breath of relief he didn't know he was holding, and rejoined the other two.
Hiro, on the other hand, was doing the mammoth task of finding a toilet. He could feel his stomach rejecting the alcohol, which was only kept down in his stomach because he was slumped over the bar table earlier. But apparently, his body didn't want him to kill his liver, so hence Hiro resisted the urge to vomit. He looked around, trying to find a toilet in the corridor, and saw the handicap symbol. Kinda-drunk Hiro immediately thought "ey, vomiting in the male toilet is kinda rude, so I shouldn't do that. But no one would hear me in the handicap toilet!"
Which was stupid, given that like every other toilet, there were tiny air slits in the door for ventilation, meaning that everyone would hear Hiro empty his stomach into the toilet. But again, Hiro, as smart as he was, was also pretty fucking stoned, so he didn't think that far.
What he also didn't think would happen was that as he flung himself at the door, wanting to use the door as a support before he opened it (god, who knew clothes were this heavy when you were piss-drunk?), the door would also open, causing Hiro to almost slam unceremoniously into the door, weren't it for the soft, soft chest of someone to shield him.
But again, Hiro was piss-drunk, so he didn't really think too much about it. Then, he heard the girl say the trigger words of any hot-blooded male otaku, which caused him to sober up almost impossibly fast.
"Ara ara."
The effect was immediate.
"PLEASE STEP ON ME" Hiro instinctively replied, back straightening, looking down on the floor. Then, it clicked in his head that
a) he had said that aloud,
b) this was an actual human being instead of him just watching anime, and
c) god, that made him look like such a degenerate.
"Uh." Hiro immediately followed up with, gently sidestepped around the poor girl, then promptly vomited. There was no pretty way to explain the vomit. If the Niagara falls were, well, green, and tasted like shit, left a burning sensation and could be downsized to the size of Hiro's mouth, then it could possibly be an apt description to Hiro vomiting back out the 10 bottles of wine.
So, all in all, not the best first impression on the poor girl.
Right. A girl.
Wait.
Oh my god! Finally! The chance to talk to a girl! Gone was the need for the awkward self-introduction, because he just gave the worst possible first impression to the girl, and the girl was still there, so that was good! And-
"You okay?" The girl asked, bending over to meet Hiro at eye level. It was then Hiro realised he was gawking like a fish, and he slammed his jaw shut, quickly grabbing the toilet roll to wipe the vomit off his mouth. The girl really was beautiful. Neon pink hair that shone in the white light, eyeliner the same shade of red as the crimson-red horn adorned in a white hairband, and bright, wide turquoise eyes, shining like the hopes of a thousand stars. God, if there was a prime human specimen, Hiro damn well was looking at one.
"Yeah." Hiro replied, rubbing his eyes. "I'm really, really sorry about everything though. Just wanted to say that."
She waved him away, and just smiled. "It's fine! Don't worry too much about it." She looked like she wanted to say something, but a voice from behind came echoing down the hallway.
"Ya coming? Performance's 'bouta start, Zero Two!"
Maybe it was her bandmate? The girl was in some form of costume, if the headband wasn't a big enough clue.
"Well, time to go! See you soon, darling!" She winked seductively at him, before dashing off.
Huh. Did she just call him darling?
And what kind of name was Zero Two?
When he did get back, after washing his face, the show was already starting. The lights were dimmed, the buzz of the crowd fell to a hush, and when Hiro found the trio, they were all leaning forward, eyes glued to the inky darkness of the stage. He took a seat, and waited alongside the trio. Eventually, the pitch black of the stage was replaced with a blinding spotlight, and as they rolled out the intro of the band, Hiro's mind was still on that enigmatic girl in the toilet.
"Featuring!", as the loud speaker said,
Neon pink hair.
"-39, Mi-ku, 15, I-chi-go, and finally-"
Crimson-red horn adorned in a white hairband
"The one we've all been waiting for-"
Turquoise eyes shining with the hopes of a thousand stars
"Zero Two!"
The girl from earlier burst onto the stage, brimming with that cheerful energy Hiro had seen earlier, crimson horns shimmering in the spotlight. She seemed like a magnet, attracting everyone's eyes to her, and today, Hiro followed the vast majority and took a good long look. Now that Zero Two was in the spotlight, she shone even more brightly than in the dim light of the restroom, and Hiro couldn't deny the thumping of his heart in his chest.
The indie band was surprisingly good. Their music was fast, vibrant, and most of all, loud. Rock music blasted from the speakers aggressively, with the redhead, Miku, on the guitar, Ichigo on the drums, Ikuno on the keyboard, and most of all, Zero Two leading the band from the forefront as the lead vocalist. Her clear voice sang the lyrics in a way that synced so well with the beat that the whole performance felt like a part of Hiro that he never knew he needed, like a puzzle piece that fit into the jigsaw puzzle that was Hiro's life.
However, all good things come to an end, and as the performance ended, Hiro was ready to get up and leave, but Zorome grabbed him and yanked him back down. "The best part is coming!"
Hiro flicked his eyes back to the stage, and he could see the drummer dubbed as Ichigo grab the microphone previously aimed at the drums to amplify them, and she announced almost professionally "Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for, Zero Two will now choose someone for a one-on-one meet and greet backstage!"
Eh?
A meet and greet? Well, he supposed it made sense. Zero Two was like the poster girl of the band. If the band was trying to gain popularity as a side gig (which, judging by their looks, they were), then hosting a meet-and-greet would be a great selling point. Hell, by the way some guys were salivating, it was the selling point.
With those words, Zero Two stepped off the stage, and started prowling around on the stage, almost predatory. She glanced around, licking her lips, as if choosing her next target, lucky or not. Finally, after a short pause, and much to Hiro's sheer surprise (and Zorome's anger), she strode straight up to Hiro, grin plastered on her face, stretched out a hand and said 5 simple words that would forever change the course of Hiro's life.
"Wouldn't you be my darling?"
And Hiro looked back to see Zero Two, the pinprick of light in his once dark world of solitude didn't seem so far away anymore. Even though he knew that she probably did this to many guys, that he wasn't the first, his heart still pounded like a war drum, excitement and adrenaline coursing through his veins. She was the paint of the monochromatic tapestry of his life, his lighthouse in the night,
His darling.
And Hiro took her hand.