Hello everyone. Earlier I've been writing Oneshots for one or two celebrities when they died) (or for our dog when she died.) As we all probably know by now the woman who played Narcissa Malfoy- Helen McCrory has passed away from cancer. I wanted to write something but it took me a while to figure what. Either way I did now and (writing this I've barely even started the story itself) I decided to write this.

Only yesterday I found a theory that after the battle at Hogwarts Draco became a healer at St. Mungo's. I kind of like that theory so I'll go with it.

It's told from Narcissa's point of view.

It was at the end of life a person could finally realize what she has done right or wrong.

In our magical world people would live for hundreds of years. I shouldn't even have lived half of my life yet. But my body was overtaken by a disease not even magic could master and there was nothing left to do.

For so many years I would have expected at least that Lucius would have stayed if I got ill and things got worse and worse…

"Maybe we should have just listened to what my father said… Maybe he was right that you should have stayed at St. Mungo's."

"Draco." Draco jumped, "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you…

"I was only thinking out loud to myself. Don't you believe I would want a minute less with you than…"

"It's okay baby." Draco had come to kneel next to the couch I laid on. "You're the healer. There's nothing they can do at St. Mungo's that you can't do here at home… Here at home where I've got so many memories- lovely memories."

"Maybe if we'd have listened to him he'd… you know. Stayed with you."

I gestured for him to not say anything more and for a long while I only watched him. From the little baby I watched as he grew inside of me and until now, the grown man I had in front of me.

"If your father was going to leave us when it got too hard for him to stay then I'd rather have that than what it had would been otherwise. Don't you agree?" Draco nodded. "I'm so sorry I've been such a bother lately… I should have found a way for this so you wouldn't have been the only one taking care of me. I'm your mum, I should have known not…"

"You haven't been a bother… not anything near it."

I could remember back to the time Astoria was still around, when she'd died and when Draco must have been so lonely…

But that thought reminded me of something…

I need to talk to Scorpius." Draco frowned in confusion. "And I know that you know there isn't much time to do it."

Draco hesitated for another second, then he grabbed his wand from the table and with a mumble, out from it came a blue-and—white-shining dragon that disappeared out the window.

The patronus only was one thing more that reminded me of how many reasons I had to be the proudest mum on earth to have him. No death eaters except for him and Severus Snape had even been able to make a patronus- especially not before the war. And almost none of them could after the war neither. As a reminding of the side we had all been on.

Now, as it went away I leaned my head back tiredly and couldn't help but to let one memory after the other pass by. I could feel a sad, tired, but undeniable smile form on my lips while I waited for my grandson. It had passed by what I could do for Scorpius earlier.

It was there and then I saw that it was right.

"Whoa!"

"Sorry." He had turned up a bit sooner and quicker when he suddenly turned up right in front of me. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't seen him for weeks now that had me realizing I hadn't seen him changing as he got older. Now his shoulders were wider and his voice darker than I could remember it being. Even though a few weeks I hadn't thought about it earlier…

"It's okay." I was surprised myself at how weak my voice sounded, maybe I hadn't noticed that neither. "Scor, in the top drawer," I pointed to a dresser on the other side of the room. "There's a small box with velvet. Can you get it for me?" I could have used a spell from the wand lying on the table right next to me but it didn't feel right and Scorpius obeyed and laid the velvet box in my hand. "Stay here." He took a chair and then sat down next to me. "How's Rose?"

"Ehrm…" He seemed surprise, maybe because I'd never seemed to care for his relationship with Rose Granger-Weasley before. "She's good…" Draco hadn't left the room, but he too seemed confused. "We're both happy to have graduated and just making the best of our summer really… how are you…"

I decided not just to answer the question and slowly opened the box to find two rings in it that I picked up.

"Ehrm… Grandma? What are you doing?"

The fact that Scorpius and I had never been close after everything ripped my heart by now- why had I let it matter so much what kinds of words Astoria used and not? And the blood status of Rose Granger-Weasley when my grandson obviously didn't want to be with anyone else?

"Hold out your hand." Carefully, with shaky hands I picked the rings from the box, then laid them in Scorpius' palm. "These were your great grandma's. I never used them because your granddad wouldn't ever want them to have anything from…" I winced at having to use the words. "…blood- traitors."

"I thought they were pure-blood's."

"They were…" I cleared my throat but it was getting harder and harder to do so. "But in difference from your granddad and the rest of his family his mother was… accepting..." Tears had started streaming down Scorpius's cheeks. "…Just like you are. These were never used after your great, great grandparents wore them and… I want you and Rose to have them now." Scorpius opened his mouth to say something but closed it again and his hand had started shaking.

"Why doesn't grandpa know about it? Or my great grandparents? Or why didn't she give it to Andromeda?"

"I don't know… I never got the chance to ask her." Scorpius still held his hand open, as good as I could I held my hand onto his fingers and closed it. "Maybe she knew that I'd make something of it that wasn't just plain being buried with it. So you just make sure you use it with pride, okay?"

"Okay." His whole self was shaking right now. "Okay… Oh grandma."

Scorpius leaned over and buried his face in my shirt while he started sobbing his heart out.

"Sch, sch, sch…" I tried to comfort him and Draco who stood in a corner of the room. He had his arms crossed over his chest and his lips shut hard together but his eyes looked weirdly shining even from where I sat. "It's okay." Scorpius only kept sobbing towards my shoulder. "It will be okay. Everything will be okay."

But how could there even be anything to say that was enough?

"I love you." I almost whispered at last when he was crying silently. "I love you so much."

"I love you too grandma."

His head was heavy towards my shoulder, but I wasn't about to force him to move. I didn't move my hand from his hair and it didn't seem like more than a few seconds passing by. Even though it must have been at least minutes before Draco was the one to finally interrupt.

"I think that's enough."

"No!"

The one, short word was so filled with fears and panic.

"Scorpius…" He had sat up but tears were still streaming down my cheeks. "It's okay… We'll meet again some day." He nodded slightly and then gave me one quick but nonetheless sincerer hug more. "I love you Scorpius."

"Love you too grandma."

"And that's what's important. So don't you ever forget it."

Scorpius' eyes were still filled with tears and his cheeks wet and swollen. But he and I both must have known this was the best way to end it. Because all of a sudden he disappeared into thin air and gone he was.

I would have liked not to show it. But just as he'd left I whimpered- still it was only short but it was nonetheless what Draco could hear.

Draco didn't say anything while my eyelids got so heavy I couldn't keep my eyes open and had to close them. I could hear him pouring up a glass of water that he came over with

"Thank you, sweetheart." Draco had to hold up the glass to my lips for me to be able to drink. "That's nice…" I just watched him as he put the glass on the table and seemed to be thinking deeply. "This has been one of my favorite things to do even since I was pregnant. Only to watch you like this- or watch my own belly grow when you were in it… I do hope you know that I love you and Scorpius more than I could ever put in words." I had to take a deep breath "I should have kept you guys so much closer than I ever did, but I… I'm sorry I couldn't see what I was doing. All that about blood-status and about what words to use and not… All of that meant nothing and I'm so sorry I didn't swallow my pride and see it any sooner."

I laid my head down, knowing this would have to be the last long things I said. Still, one of the most important things I'd ever say, and maybe that was the reason I could say it because my voice went weaker and weaker. Then when I had said it I wasn't sure if I could say anything else more.

My eyelids were too heavy to keep my eyes open, but I forced them up again and everything forcing me to was the knowledge that my time was counted and no matter what happened now I wanted nothing else than only watch my son.

But meanwhile I did I couldn't ignore the feeling roaring up inside of me. It had for so long now and there were what felt like ages hope had run out of it ever changing.

"It hurts."

It was only an hour or two since I had spoken to Scorpius. Only one hour since I had spoken to Draco what was most important before I just watched him and felt his hand around mine. Now my voice was in between a whimper and a whisper.

"I know mum…" Draco suddenly left and then came back holding a steaming, smelling cup that he held up towards my face. "…this will help."

"No." I whimpered and turned my head away as if I had been a stubborn child. "No… It makes me sleepy."

"It will help."

"It makes me sleepy."

I just wasn't sure that if I fell asleep, would I wake up again?

Suddenly- at last tears were streaming down my cheeks while wild sobs made my whole body tremble. Draco put the cup away from me and then sat down next to me again where he was so close I could sit up and lean against me, making the cries even worse.

How long did I cry for? An hour? Two? A year?

"Sch, sch, sch…" Draco tried to comfort me just like I had tried to comfort him when he was little. "….it's okay mum. It'll be okay."

How could anyone say that it would? Especially Draco when we both knew these were the last moments we had together?

But he broke too, and I wasn't surprised in the least when Draco too started crying.

I was his mum, I was supposed to be able to comfort him!

Well then, not having to cry alone was something like it today. The closest I could get to comfort him.

Then at last, I couldn't help but the whimpers that ran through all of me. I would have wanted to stop them. Not worry my son more than I already had. But the pain had turned so bad and knowing not even magic could do something about it anymore.

At last, when I sat up the evening sun was shining through the window and right in Draco's face.

"For every day I think that there is no way I could love you more…"

My voice was nothing more than a whisper right now. It had just gone so far only the last few hours. And maybe this was the best way for it to end…

I didn't know if I'd wake up again after falling asleep.

"I love you Draco. More than anything. So don't you forget that."

"Love you too mum." He answered, and it was like he knew what I was thinking. He reached for the same cup as before, with magic it had been held warm and was still steaming while Draco held it towards my lips and tipped it over so I could drink. "Oh mum…"

At last he put the cup away and came and sat closer to me again. I was sleepy already from the first sip I'd taken and with fatigue taking me over when the pain was running off there was just no way I could hold on to consciousness anymore…

…Especially not as Draco sat down and I could lean my cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt.

"Hands you tissue"

Random fact

I honestly don't know how common it is for people to call their children/ grandchildren they love them like that… Hmmm. Well, I always told my parents and grandparents that. I hope all of this worked.

Rest in peace Helen Elizabeth McCrory August 17th 1968- April 16th 2021