Ignite the Sex Pistols

by Aurum79

After the tragedy that was the SAO and the adventure that was Vento Aureo, most would assume that the lives of these characters would end peacefully. But things don't work out as intended. There's a killer running amok inside another video game, one that disrupts the peace our heroes have worked to build. The fate of this story rests on the shoulders of an unlikely band of misfits.

1. Chapter 1: Six Bullets, One Gun

22

You know, after working on these series, I've come to have a better respect for Sword Art Online. Sure, it's not the best anime series, but what is? It has a lot of faults, but it does have some upsides. Overall, it's a good series to look back upon and realize its faults so that others do not repeat its mistakes. After all, you can't appreciate the good in life without the bad, right?

SO WHY THE FUCK DID THEY MAKE MORE OF IT?!

This may be a hot topic for some, but I think SAO II: Phantom Bullet, is even worse than the first season. In SAO, while it had so many flaws, at least we knew what the basic plot and characters were doing. It was a video game where people were trapped inside and had to escape with their lives. Even with the garbage that was the Fairy Dance arc, we knew what the mission was and who the characters were, despite these flaws. But SAO II screws this shit up again and dials it to an 11!

SAO II completely muddles the purpose behind what its plot is and who its characters are. Goals are changed for the characters, their decisions and personalities change on a dime, backstories are created that contradict previously known information, simple solutions are pushed aside for the craziest bullshit imaginable, and the term "Deus Ex Machina" can be described for the entire series. Did I mention that I hate SAO?

SAO II is, by all definitions, confusing bullshit. The only thing I found interesting was Sinon's backstory, and yet the fuck it up too! But imagine my surprise when I was planning to do a crossover series with this and JoJo years back, and one of the best boys in JoJo just happened to wield a gun!

That's right! After watching Part 5, without mentioning future parts, Guido Mista has become my favorite character of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, perhaps even in anime! And I'm not alone here! Hundreds of people love Mista! His personality, his fashion sense, his powers, everything! Even people who hate anime claim that they love Mista as a character! I've had dreams of him just shooting Kirito in his dumb face. Sadly though, I don't plan on doing this here.

So here we are! My third entry to this series! And I don't plan on just fixing just SAO here, but also giving JoJo Part 5 context after Giorno became the mafia leader! I loved Part 5's ending, but it's a shame we don't know what happened afterward. So I guess I'm kinda fixing JoJo too, but not too much! After all, we never find out what happened to them after Part 6 for . . . obvious reasons. But I digress! Let's get on with it already! And of course . . .

I do not own either of these stories. Sword Art Online was written by Reki Kawahara and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure was written by Hirohiko Araki.

Chapter 1: Six Bullets, One Gun

Guido Mista. Born: December 3, 2002. Height: 182 cm (5ft 9in). Favorite Movies: Pretty Woman and The Bridges of Madison County. Age: 19. Current Position: Somewhere in Japan.

He didn't know why he was called here. All he did know was that he felt very embarrassed and that he was severely underdressed for such a place.

Ginza, one of the most expensive cafés in Tokyo. It was several feet high with multiple floors for dining, with only the richest and/or famous customers allowed in. The boy had never been to Ginza or had the chance to taste its food, but he was excited to try! Yet, at the same time, the boy couldn't shake his uneasiness.

Kazuto Kirigaya exited the elevator to the fifth floor of Ginza, greeted by a servant in a black suit and bowtie. On the contrast, Kazuto wore a black leather jacket with a gray shirt underneath, accompanied by black sweat pants and black sneakers, all matching his black hair and eyes. The boy was laughed at by his friends for his strict taste in color, but he didn't care! He thought he looked cool in black! Though, he did feel like he wanted a bit more variety in his outfits. The servant led him into the room, which the boy found was empty. Chairs and tables sat alone without customers, with only a select few being used at the time. Kazuto knew that, whatever was going to happen, they didn't want others around to hear what they were discussing.

As the servant led him to his table, the boy was surprised to see the cast of characters who were attending. There was one of his best friends, dressed in his usual modified school uniform and rocking that Elvis style pompadour. The boy waved over to him and pulled up a chair for Kazuto to sit next to him, afterwards roasting him in his style of fashion. Another was a man Kazuto had met before, who was still intimidating to address. He wore a white trench coat and white hat with an assortment of different trinkets and items, a cold stare on his face. The third was a man with normal-looking clothing, with a gray suit and faded blue tie. He wore spectacles and sipped at his coffee, sitting next to the man in white. He greeted Kazuto as he sat down on the other side of the table.

"Order whatever you want," the bespeckled man said with a smile. "It's on the house."

Kazuto nodded as he read the menu provided by him. His eyes grew wide at the assortment of desserts, and immediately ordered a Chocolate Parfait, a Strawberry Cream Cake, and a Hazelnut Latte. Looking over to his left, he could see that his friend had already ordered a number of different desserts already, with many plates off to the side.

"Didn't strike me that you had such a sweet tooth, Josuke," Kazuto joked.

"Of course!" Josuke said with a big grin, a bit of cream on his chin. "We're in Ginza, dude! We gotta make the most of it while we can! And it's free!"

"As of your request, we will also send some cakes home to you and your friends as well," the man with glasses said with a smile, a bit of cream on his cheek too.

"So, why did you call me in?" Kazuto asked. "Don't tell me that you just wanted to hang out and eat cake."

"Wrong," the man in white said. The boy shivered, still not getting used to Jotaro Kujo's intimidating presence. "We called you two in because of a particular incident, one that we didn't want others to hear. And while many will complain, I've had the Speedwagon Foundation rent this room out for today to talk about something serious."

Jotaro then pulled out a Tablet with a photo of a man. He was skinny, with shaggy brown hair, thin cheekbones, and wearing a plaid shirt. "On November 14th, this man, Shigemura Tamotsu, was found dead inside his apartment building, his corpse being about five and a half days old. And on his head . . ." The man then scrolled down to show the dead man's head, his eyes covered by a familiar device with a red visor and silver trim.

"An Amusphere, huh?" Kazuto remarked.

"Yes," Jotaro confirmed. "However, the nature of his death was the strangest thing. Doing an autopsy, the doctors found that a part of his brain had died, resulting in his death. There was a small section of his brain that apparently stopped working and was around the size of a gunshot wound, but there was no bullet or blood spilled. And while it was revealed that he hadn't eaten in two days, that part of his brain still stuck out as odd. It was as if a bullet damaged that part of his brain without ever entering through his skull."

Josuke and Kazuto gulped, hearing the gruesome and mysterious nature of the man's death. "At the time, the man was in a game known as Gun Gale Online. Have you two ever heard about it before?"

"Of course," Kazuto responded, eating his cake. "It's one of the most talked about VRMMO Shooters out there. It's been surrounded by talk and controversy for how the game operates, yet many stay since players can trade their in game currency for real money. It's the only reason why it's become so popular in Japan."

"Correct," Jotaro confirmed. "This man, Shigemura, was apparently the best player in the game. His avatar was called Zexceed. And there appears to be more information about his death."

"Our research team found out there was a blogger who posted a strange story at the time of the incident. Apparently, some random player in a bar during GGO yelled at Zexceed while he was on a livestream, talking about the game. He declared something about judgement, pulled out his gun, and open fired. Another player was doing a livestream of him playing the game and caught the audio. From the video he posted on his channel, through marked timestamps, it shows that when this player fired the gun, Zexceed also mysteriously disappeared from the livestream. This also matched the exact number of days that Zexceed was found dead."

"A coincidence?" Josuke asked, sweat running down his face. "I mean, he wasn't even in the same room as the guy, and even then, you can't kill someone inside a game anymore, right? . . . Right?"

It was then that the man beside Jotaro spoke. "We thought so too, with the doctors summing Shigemura's death as a brain hemorrhage. But there was no blood leaking inside of his brain and the wound was just too precise to be a hemorrhage. Along with this, the Amusphere couldn't have killed him, as it doesn't use the same technology as the NerveGear. As Mr. Kujo said, it was like some kind of Phantom Bullet entered his head and left no traces of blood. Like the signals to his brain stopped in that specific part. May I continue, Mr. Kujo?"

Jotaro nodded. "Two weeks later, Kikuoka here told me they found another body, with the exact same cause of death." Kazuto and Josuke gasped.

"He went by the handle Usujio Tarako," Kikuoka claimed. "He was wearing an Amusphere, playing GGO, and found with the same kind of bullet-shaped wound to his brain. He was with a group of friends at the time, playing PVP. At one point, Usujio was attacked "out of nowhere," as reported by one of his friends, by a random player. Just like the blogger wrote about, the man said something about judgement and fired a bullet into the man's head and disappeared before his friends could catch up to him."

"But . . . what was interesting . . . was the man's . . . avatar name . . ." Josuke and Kazuto stared at Kikuoka and Jotaro with confusion. Kikuoka was holding a hand over his mouth, with the two seeing tears starting to form behind his glasses. Jotaro was tipping his cap but was shaking quite a bit.

"Wh-what was his name?" Kazuto asked.

"Death Gun."

. . . . .

It was good that there weren't any other people in the room, because that small table would have attracted the attention of everyone around them. After taking a few seconds to realize the player's name, Kazuto and Josuke couldn't hold back their laughter. Kazuto clutched his sides, while Josuke slammed his fist on the table multiple times. Kikuoka and Jotaro eventually couldn't hold back their laughter either. Kikuoka dropped the tablet and Jotaro let loose a bellowing laugh, something that he hadn't done for years.

"Wh-wh-what the fuck?" Josuke managed to ask. "Wh-what the hell is that name?"

"Death Gun?" Kazuto asked. "As opposed to what? Life Gun?"

"Yeah!" Josuke added. "That'd be like naming my avatar Wet Water!"

"But water isn't really w-"

"Shut the fuck up this instant."

"H-he definitely isn't good with names, at the very least," Kikuoka claimed, trying to calm himself down. "But back to the topic at hand. W-we want you - ahem - to investigate the nature of these deaths and the potential cause of the deaths at hand."

Kazuto became serious again. "Couldn't you ask someone in the game who's a pro already?" he wondered. "Since real money is on the line, GGO players are dedicated to the game and are among one of the most competitive communities out there. Why would you want people like us?"

Jotaro then stepped in. "Because, you two have been through some of the worst that VRMMOs have to offer and were amongst the strongest players back in that world. We thought you would be better than anyone to solve the mysteries surrounding deaths in a video game. By no means are we asking you to get shot by this Death Gun as a test. We simply want to find out who he is, if he actually does exist, and if so, how he's going about his murders. We don't need pros to handle a situation that may not be even true. That's it."

"Why not contact the Game Admins? Or the company that produced the game?" Josuke asked.

"We did," Kikuoka claimed. "With the help of the Speedwagon Foundation, we contacted GGO's corporation, Zaska, in America. But they have no record of a player named Death Gun in their player base. They could only offer their condolences and distribute information on how to maintain one's personal health within GGO."

"And that's where we come in. The Japanese government is sketchy already about the return of VRMMOs, but we were able to convince them into advertising it. We want to make sure that this kind of technology will have no further problems in the near future when designing new types involving it. We also don't want people to lose trust in the Speedwagon Foundation after we promised the safety of the Amusphere. That's why it's essential that we solve this problem now."

"Ok . . . but still, the odds are stacked against us," Kazuto brought up. "You just want two students to investigate a potential murderer alone?"

"Not alone," Jotaro said. "We'll be sending you two in with backup, ones who have experience in life or death situations. In fact, I believe they have just arrived now." The group then turned their heads over to the sound of a "ding!" as the elevator doors opened. The same servant greeted whoever stepped out and led them to the table. As he led the new customers over, Josuke and Kazuto gasped in shock, their breath taken away.

His face and attitude were much more serious than when the two had last seen him, but his appearance remained largely unchanged. He still rocked the triple oversized curls and ponytail, and his face and body were still well defined. However, his usual outfit was changed in color palettes, with his usual pink suit replaced with an identical black one. His blue ladybug brooches and orange golden wings on his collar were now a dark green, almost matching his eyes. Kazuto and Josuke couldn't believe it, but this was their third friend who traveled with them into hell and made it back alive, who left on a seemingly impossible mission in another country. This was Giorno Giovanna, and by his smooth and commanding posture, simply by walking, the two knew that this boy had achieved his dream of becoming a Mafia Leader.

Two other men strode in behind him, ones that Kazuto had never seen before. One was wearing a strange hat that covered his entire head and fell down to cover his ears, with an arrow symbol falling between his eyes. The hat was black, with purple lines stretching across the hat in a diamond pattern. He wore a turtleneck crop top cashmere sweater, with the base being a lighter shade of purple than the hat, with similar white lines shaping into a diamond pattern. He wore white tiger striped leather pants and purple high heel boots, with a purple belt to match. Kazuto could also see a short barrel purple revolver attached to the man's hip, with a hammer shroud and a six bullet chamber. Kazuto could tell that the man was meant to be Giorno's bodyguard, considering his firearm.

However, the last person didn't fit in with the other two. The third was much more tense and nervous, shaking slightly and looking at their group with worry. He had a neck length ponytail with a weave-like braid, with the front sweeping off to the left in a wiggly lock. He had freckles on his cheeks and light brown eyes, which were constantly checking his surroundings. He wore a light colored sweater with what appeared to be a gash-like opening in the middle, along with a loose pair of jeans with studs covering the thighs and sides of his ankles. The boy completely contrasted the look of his hardcore allies, with Kazuto wondering why he was here in the first place.

But setting aside the others, Kazuto and Josuke were nervous to meet their old friend again. It was clear that their friend had been through a lot in the past couple of months and have matured more than they could ever realize. Would he still be the same person that they knew? Did they have to follow some kind of new law or order now that he was a mafia boss? Would Giorno not even see them as equals, let alone friends? These thoughts swirled through the heads of the two boys as Giorno approached their table, glancing down at Josuke and Kazuto.

But, to their relief, their Italian friend gave a familiar warm smile. "I know it hasn't even been a year yet, but it felt like a millennia has passed since I last saw you guys," Giorno claimed. "It's nice to see you again. Josuke. Kazuto." The two boys smiled, their eyes slightly misting up. Not holding back, the two boys sprung up and grappled Giorno in a big hug, something that he was normally uncomfortable with. But the boy embraced them all the same, getting smiles from Jotaro and Giorno's followers, as well as some tears from Kikuoka.

"Looks like you've taken after my color scheme!" Kazuto claimed.

Giorno chuckled. "Not even close."

The three Italians moved another table over to join them, the three sitting around the others. "Giorno! Would you look at these desserts they got here!" the man in purple exclaimed excitedly, shocking the others. For a man wielding a firearm and with such a dark career path, the man was clearly energetic. "They got tiramisu, cannolis, gelato! They even got honey semifreddo!"

"Get whatever you want," Giorno claimed. "Our friends here are paying."

"Seriously?! Thanks, you guys!"

"Hey, Mista! You shouldn't order too much! That would be rude," the other boy said.

"Don't worry about the prices," Kikuoka reassured him. "Like Mr. Giovanna said, get whatever you want." The boy nodded nervously and skimmed through the menu, his eyes lighting up several times.

"Allow me to introduce my associates," Giorno said. He motioned over to the man in purple. "This is Guido Mista, my right hand man."

"Nice to meet you," Mista said. "I can tell that we'll be the best of buds!"

"And this is Doppio Vinegar," Giorno said, motioning over to the boy. "He's . . . new, to the organization."

"N-nice to meet you," Doppio said nervously.

"These two here will be joining you on your mission in GGO. I hope you will all be able to get along," Giorno said with a smile.

"H-have you guys ever played a video game before?" Kazuto asked.

"Nope!" Mista said with confidence, causing Kazuto to sweat. "But I know how to use guns! So I'm sure I'll be ok!"

"I-I heard that I may be useful to you guys," Doppio claimed. "I just hope I'll be useful."

Their waiter then came over and took their orders, returning a few minutes later with their desserts. Kazuto was surprised to see that the man named Mista had ordered five desserts for himself, these being a tiramisu, a cannoli, a vanilla and chocolate gelato, a limoncello cake, and a Crostata ricotta e visciole!

"You must be really hungry," Kazuto commented.

"Well, . . . three desserts isn't enough, yet five seems like overkill . . ." Mista explained. "But I ultimately went with five. I figured that I could bring any extras back with me to our apartment then."

"Why didn't you just order fo-"

"AH AH AH!" Mista yelled, shaking his finger. "There's no way in HELL that I'm ordering four desserts! Are you crazy?!"

Kazuto immediately quieted down, not wanting to argue with the man who had a gun. "Besides, they're all not only for me."

Confused, Kazuto looked back down at Mista's desserts, which were starting to chip away, as if they were being eaten by invisible mice! The boy could only stare in awe as parts of all five desserts started to disappear.

"Oi! Number 3! Save some for Number 5! There's enough for all of you!" Mista claimed at his desserts.

Staring over to Josuke and Jotaro, the two men were equally shocked, but were staring intently at the desserts, longer than Kazuto was. It was as if they could see whatever Kazuto couldn't. Glancing at Kikuoka, he stared at the desserts too, but in amazement. It wasn't like he knew what was going on, but the spectacle of the desserts disappearing seemingly interested him.

"H-hey, Josuke," Kazuto asked his friend. "Don't tell me . . ."

"It's a Stand . . ." Josuke answered. "Six, in fact. And all of them are eating the desserts! I've never seen a Stand that needs to eat or show this much . . . personality."

"Me neither," Jotaro confirmed. "The closest thing we've seen to this is Koichi's Echoes Act III."

"I can guarantee you," Giorno spoke up. "That you guys will be in good hands with Mista and Doppio around. We'll solve this problem in no time at all."

. . .

"What are you thinking about, Kirito?"

Kazuto awoke from his daydream, staring at the girl to his left, Asuna Yuuki. The two had spent their time in the Eastern Gardens of the Imperial Palace, enjoying their time together. At sunset, they had decided to take a rest on a bench, with Kazuto and Asuna talking about what they wanted to do when they eventually graduated from their school. The boy then trailed off into thought, as he looked up at the sky.

"It's nothing," Kazuto claimed. "Just can't wait for the surprise I have for you guys."

"Yeah, what is this surprise you keep talking about?" Asuna wondered.

"We'd like to know too, ya know."

The couple glanced over at their friends, who were now coming over to join them. Before their day began, Kazuto had contacted all of his friends from SAO along with his sister, Suguha. Along with her, Kazuto had invited his old friends he knew from SAO as Klein, Egil, Silica, Liz, Argo, Sachi, Keita, Sasamaru, Dale, Issin, Dynamm, Harry One, Kunimittz, Nautilus, Yuuna, Diabel, Kibaou, Schmidt, Yoruko, Caynz, Thinker, Yulier, Sasha, Kobatz, Godfree, etc. Not only them, but Josuke and the Stand Users of Morioh were gathered there as well, along with Josuke's mother. Thousands of people were gathered in an open area of the park, looking around and waiting for Kazuto to reveal the big surprise.

"We've been waiting here for an hour or so," Klein stated. "So what's this big surprise we're waiting for? Is it running late or something?" That was what Kazuto couldn't answer, as he had no idea where they were.

It was Sachi who spotted it first. Something, whatever it was, started to make her get goosebumps across her skin. She looked around the open field, full of players, until she spotted it. Two boys, walking down a path full of trees, with their orange leaves falling off and swirling around them. She didn't know who one of them was, but she instantly recognized the other. He was different, dressed in a black and green suit, but it was him. There was no doubt about it. His stylish golden hair that was near impossible to copy, his chiseled features, his radiating aura. It was him. The boy who left her the ladybug hairpin. The one who shed light in her dark world.

He had returned.

She couldn't control herself. She started shivering, tears of joy running down her face, and an incredibly large smile spread across her lips. And before anyone could ask her what was wrong, she ran through the crowd, weaving between the masses to be the first one to greet him. Yet, in her excitement, she revealed the secret that Kazuto was trying to keep.

"GIORNO! YOU'RE BACK!"

Thousands of heads spun in the direction of Sachi, who was now far up the path to greet the boy. Smiles were copied and pasted through the crowd, some tears forming, some with hands to their mouths, others hugging each other in excitement, many following Sachi's lead. With the amount of people running at them, Mista defensively drew his pistol, but Giorno put a hand up to settle him down. The short haired girl was the first to reach him, panting, trying to get the right words to say. She was blubbering uncontrollably, tears and sobs mixing in with her words. So Giorno said what she was thinking for her.

"Nice to see you again, Sachi. Yes, I have returned. And I am ready to accept your love with everything I have."

She looked up at Giorno with even more tears running down her face, as she quickly embraced the boy in a tight hug. Giorno comforted her, rubbing her head as she soaked his suit, rubbing her head into his body. However, their moment of peace didn't last long, as their friends came up to greet them as well. Klein had tears in his eyes too, at first trying to shake Giorno's hand, but changing at the last moment and giving him a hug anyways. Silica and Liz hugged the boy at the same time. Argo was happy to see her old friend again, yet immediately asked afterwards about his adventures and a potential partnership with benefits. Miss Higashikata ran and gave Giorno a hug as well, happy to see her other son back. Thousands of people came up to greet the boy, thousands happy to see the return of their friend and/or savior.

Though, not everything was happy and full of rainbows. After celebrating and greeting their old friend, Giorno gave them the gist of what happened to him. The struggles he had to overcome. The enemies in his way. The Boss. Their losses. And with a heavy heart, Giorno revealed the truth to Suguha. The girl broke down crying. She clutched her heart, falling to her knees, holding nothing back. Thousands of people once struck with happiness now grieving. Kazuto comforted his sister, as did the crowd. But after tears were shed, both of joy and sadness, the group decided to celebrate their friend's return officially. After some calls were made, the group had rented a restaurant close by for their celebration. Sachi never let go of Giorno that day, holding him by his hand the entire way. It made Mista smile, not realizing that his boss/friend had so many people who cared about him. And for that entire night, the SAO survivors and Stand Users celebrated with food and drink, remembering the people they lost and the friends they gained.

. . .

"I'm in position."

"Roger that."

"They're about 400 from you. 1500 from me."

"That's pretty damn far. Can you do it?"

"No problem."

It was a dusty and rugged world. A desert filled with the ruins of what looked like an alien city, towers crumbling and strange, sharp rocks piercing out of the ground. On a lone cliff, a sniper was picking her target amongst a group of seven, all wearing steampunk-like gear and carrying a variety of guns. She had light blue hair that never went past her ears, with the only exception being two bangs on the side of her face. She wore a green crop top jacket with a white bullet proof vest underneath. Though, the vest was unlikely to do a good job, as it was thin and revealing, stopping at the top of her chest and the bottom sides of waist, with it opening more at her back. She had long pants, the same color as her crop top, but also a pair of black short shorts, extremely short shorts. The pants opened up around the area of the shorts, tied up by a belt. Her boots were black and she had similar colored hairpins, which appeared to be squares with three holes in them, like a bowling ball, on the sides of her braids. All of this complemented her giant sniper rifle, which was almost as tall as her. She had her eyes set on the party below, aimlessly wandering the desert in hopes of getting back to their base.

"This is nothing like that time," she thought. "This is as simple as throwing a paper ball into a waste basket." Her gaze on the group focused as she singled out a man in the back, carrying an assault rifle. She lined up her reticle in her scope, preparing to fire.

"Guaranteed headshot?" she asked.

"Of course. With this gun and your power, it'll strike him right through the eyes. An instant KO."

"Good," she said. She pulled the trigger, her rifle blasting out smoke as her bullet travelled through the air, hitting the man straight in the head, his avatar fading into a storm of ashes and orange pixels.

She reloaded her rifle. "Who's next, Rocket Queen?"

To Be Continued . . .

Death Gun. Fucking Death Gun. Listen to that name and realize that this was approved by multiple people on a development team. Someone needs to be fired.

Here it is, the first chapter done! Giorno's back with Mista and ready to kick some ass! What is the mystery behind this idiotic named villain? Only time will tell!

Also, #DoppioDeservedBetter. He's here in this story! How and why? You'll soon find out!

And sadly, Bruno is gone. If he survived, it would mean that he would be next in line to be the boss. So Bruno's and Suguha's love story ends. But does it?! Of course not! Because there's something I'm not telling you!

And finally, Rocket Queen. The name comes from the same song by Guns N' Roses. Makes sense, right? Find out more about Sinon and her Stand in the next chapter! And thank you to everyone who supports this story during and after it's release!

DID YOU KNOW: Sinon doesn't remember anything about her father, as he died when she was one year old. She has no idea what he looks like, as her mother got rid of everything involving the man afterwards. This is important. Remember that fact.