Director Tagg had wanted desperately to arrest Skitter. The problem was that the best opportunity involved confronting a murderous villain in the middle of a school. Obviously, no one was stupid enough to do that. The fact that Dinah had informed them that doing so drastically increased the odds of both Tagg and Alexandria suffering agonizing deaths helped the decision somewhat.

Between Dinah and the rest of the Protectorate's thinkers, they managed to dial in on a strategy that was most likely to get results without killing a director and a member of the Triumvirate. Which was how the PRT ENE's vice-director and a random lawyer ended up in one of the Undersider's throwaway bases.

Watching the creepy form of Skitter acting like a friendly host was incredibly unnerving. She spoke in a welcoming, almost grandmotherly voice as she let them in, offered them chairs, and set out snacks.

She tilted her head slightly, reminding them of a praying mantis staring at a particularly slow fly while also giving the impression that she was smiling warmly at them.

"Would you like something to drink?"

She opened the fridge.

"We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-"

"Spiders?"

"Spiders it is then."

"No, that wasn't-"

But she was already pouring him a brimming glass of spiders. The round little bodies of dozens of black widows tumbled out of the pitcher into a pair of tall drinking glasses. She looked towards her other guest and hefted the pitcher.

"Would you like some as well?"

"I- I'm good, thank you."

Skitter didn't seem to notice his voice cracking. She just nodded happily and placed one of the glasses on the table in front of them. They unconsciously leaned back in their chairs to put more space between them and the 'drink.' The faint sound of the spiders tapping and rubbing against the walls of the glass was far too loud.

They watched Skitter remove the mandible portion of her mask and take a drink of the glass in front of her. She placed the glass back down and smiled widely at them.

"Alright! Let's get started!"

0oOo0

Several hours later...

"I told you I could negotiate better than you."

Lisa sulked on the couch.

"That shouldn't count."

Alec snickered as he booted up a game console and flopped backward next to Lisa. She slapped away his hand as he tried to poke her teasingly.

"D'aww~ is someone jealous?"

"No! I just thought I could have gotten us a better deal if I'd been there too!"

Brian looked up from the papers on the table and raised an eyebrow at her.

"What could you have gotten us that Taylor didn't?"

Lisa's only response was a grumbling noise and a thrown couch cushion. Rachel looked up from the corner of the room where she, Sabah, and Lily were grooming her dogs.

"What could she have gotten us that Taylor didn't?"

Lisa's grumbling got even more petulant as Brian shuffled through the papers.

"Near as I can tell? Nothing. Those of us who want to be heroes can be heroes. Those of us who want to be rogues can be rogues. They've dropped all the charges, bogus or otherwise, and are going to help us out with our various problems. We had to make plenty of concessions, but it's all stuff we can live with."

Alec snickered and elbowed Lisa.

"So basically, the only thing Lisa could have gotten us that Taylor didn't was 'in trouble'."

Sabah ignored the sound of the spontaneous slap fight that started on the couch as she measured one of Rachel's dogs for an adjustable doggie sweater.

"You didn't actually eat those spiders, did you?"

"No, I had them climb up inside my mask and hide in my hair and clothes."

Taylor hummed happily as she opened the fridge.

"Anyone want something to drink?"

""No!""

0oOo0

I've been watching too many ProZD skits.

This was fun, so I'm going to try to start writing again. Hopefully, I won't let 'critics' ruin it for me this time.