Making Your Own Destiny, a cucumber quest fanfic

Making Your Own Destiny

"Come ON, you sissies!" says Peridot, the green-clad witch who is currently attempting to bombard you with star-shaped projectiles. "You can't just dodge forever!"

Peridot sends out a modest number of stars, hoping to end the battle quickly.

Seeing an opportunity, your younger sister Almond steps up to confront the witch.

"Yeah, you're right!" says Almond, deflecting the stars back at Peridot with her sword.

Peridot gasps and evades at the last second, falling off of her broom with a soft whump.

"Excellent!" says Sir Carrot, the humble knight who had recently joined your quest involving resurrection of the Nightmare Knight.

This would be the part where you congratulate Almond for proving herself to be more than capable of taking up the mantle of the hero in your stead once again… but something stops you.

"So you still want this, or what?" says Almond, holding up a purple stone in her left hand.

That stone is the last Disaster Stone needed for the ritual that will resurrect the dreaded Nightmare Knight, who once brought destruction upon Dreamside before being sealed away by the Dream Oracle and the first Legendary Hero.

"I-I'm not finished yet! I can still-" Peridot sputters.

"Here!" says Almond, holding her outstretched palms towards the witch.

"…Huh?"

"You're resurrecting the Nightmare Knight with it, right? Knock yourself out!"

The treasure room slowly goes quiet… as Almond suddenly realizes that she is not holding the Disaster Stone in her palms.

Rather, the purple stone is currently beneath your right foot… in pieces.

Peridot stares at you with a dumbfounded look.

Sir Carrot seems shocked, but you can already see the comprehension dawning on his face.

And Almond…

WHAM.

The next thing you know, you are lying on your side and your head is resting on the hard floor of the treasure room.

Your left cheek hurts, but that's an acceptable price to pay.

Almond is busy shrieking her head off about something important, but it's too late.

Without the last Disaster stone, Peridot and Queen Cordelia won't be able to summon the Nightmare Knight, meaning that this particular adventure has ended before it could truly begin.

You are perfectly aware that Almond, the Dream Oracle, and everyone else who's pushed you into going along with this god-forsaken quest isn't going to be pleased with what you just did, but they can all go jump off a cliff.

Especially your dear old Dad.

And sure, Sir Carrot was the only one who took your side on the matter, but that's certainly better than nothing.

Besides, it's not like the Nightmare Knight would actually take offense to this outcome.

And now, you can finally rest.

…

"Oh, I know you've grown up, sweetie… but I'm still your mother! I can't help it!"

"And Dad said all that studying wouldn't be good for anything… I hope I can prove him wrong!"

"Good thing you already packed your bag!"

"Why does my dad have to find a way to ruin everything?"

"No, no, no, dear. Little sisters aren't legendary heroes."

"Can't you just defeat the ancient evil yourself?"

"Well, now you don't. So get lost. Kid."

"You think I'd call you all the way out here just to mess with you?!"

"When's the last time you ever heard of a little sister becoming a legendary hero?"

"So it skips a generation here and there!"

"When's the last time you ever heard of a legendary hero going to school?"

"Will you quit whining and do it already?! The fate of the world's riding on this! Don't you GET IT?!"

"If the bad guys need these stones to resurrect the Nightmare Knight… then wouldn't it make a lot more sense… to get rid of them and prevent any of this from happening at all?"

"It's boring, then! You don't want to go down as the most boring legendary hero in history, do you?"

"Well, I don't really care about that, dad. As long as the world gets saved either way…"

"Wow, son. That's what you've been studying so hard for?"

"See, this is what I told mom! You're totally hopeless on your own!"

"I can't believe you're still giving me that after I saved your butt!"

"You meathead! Were you even watching where you were going, man?!"

"Lady Baguette. A respectable knight has the humility to know when he is outmatched."

"Well, excuse you! For your information, sweetheart, I have a very busy schedule. I don't have time to spend interrogating every 'Legendary Hero' who walks in here!"

"This is our chance to fix everything- without the Dream Sword!"

"Indeed! This catastrophe must be prevented by any means necessary!"

"But that's BORING! You got me worked up for this cool save-the-world adventure! You can't just say 'never mind, let's go home!'"

"You most certainly CAN! Cucumber, we must take the stone!"

…

"P-please, just listen… I don't believe this has to end with violence."

"How many times have I heard those words?"

"CUCUMBER! Will you please tell me you're not still trying to talk it out with the bad guys?!"

…

"Calabash, do you think he might be-"

"OF COURSE not, Walnut!"

…

"So what would you request of me, young hero?"

A second chance, to go back and do things properly.

"That is certainly very presumptuous of you."

Indeed, but that doesn't answer your question.

"What makes you think that I have the power to grant such a request?"

…

"Pardon me. Even I have a slight fondness for such jests. Even still, why should I grant your request?"

Because you do not want to spend the rest of your life letting people make all of your choices for you.

"And you would seek to defy the natural order of things?"

Yes.

"What benefit would I receive from such a bargain?"

A chance to see the hero change everything with one simple choice, a choice that someone has thought about for a very long time.

Which is why this conversation can even take place.

"Hah! Well, spoken, hero! But even so, you do know that there will be a hefty price to pay for such power…"

You can deal with that price on your own terms.

You are more than used to making mistakes and learning from them.

You can deal with the prospect of being yelled at by everyone around you for any number of reasons.

What you can't deal with… is betraying yourself and everything you stand for.

"Then we have an agreement. Until we meet again, Cucumber."

…

The moving finger writes…

And having writ, moves on.

Nor all thy piety nor wit shall lure it back to cancel half a line…

Nor all thy tears wash out a word of it.