Dead.
Dead.
Tony was dead.
My brother is dead.
But no. That couldn't be right. She had just talked to him this morning, just before he and Pepper had left for their run.
Oh, and then alien's attacked New York. And then Pepper had called Tony and he said he was on the ship, probably on his way to the moon. And then. Then…
No. NO!
Tony did dangerous things, sure, but he was the smartest man she knew. He always came through. He wasn't dead. He just wasn't.
This was a nightmare. Just a really realistic nightmare that she couldn't wake up from. But, she had seen his face. His fucking face. Burned on one side, the hair singed off, aged. The eyes glass and unseeing. She's shaken him. She'd screamed at him. But he wouldn't respond. Peter had to drag her away.
Now she sat in her old room in the Tower, staring at the wall opposite her. If she could just make sense of things she'd feel better. What were the series of events that led her here?
She talked to Tony that morning. She scanned the internet for bridesmaid dresses. Pepper came tearing into the room, talking about wizards (what?), and dialling Tony's number over and over. But by that time, Erin barely paid her any mind. Because out the window a behemoth loomed. A ring of doom. Erin flashed back to nearly ten years ago and knew there was no way Tony was not involved.
And then it was raising up, up, up. And there, a blast of fire trailed after it. Tony.
After then it was a blur of phone calls and different official looking people over the next twenty four hours. Erin had tried calling Peter numerous times but there was no answer. She tried calling the number Nat had given her, but she hadn't answered either. It all left a bitter taste in her mouth.
Stark Industries was coordinating a relief effort for those that were displaced in the attack. They had set up a makeshift hospital in Yankee Stadium and it was there Erin found herself pointing people in various directions when suddenly a scream pierced the air.
Erin turned towards the sound. A woman covering her mouth in shock and a cloud of ash next to her. She turned back to the person she had been directing, but they were gone. And then...
People disappeared right in front of her. But that couldn't be right.
Erin searched the crowd for Pepper, connected eyes with her.
Fear. Pure, unadulterated fear in Pepper's wide gaze. She reached a hand out to Erin and then…
Nothing.
And then, suddenly, it was nearing dark, the sun setting behind the tall walls of the stadium and a man who called himself Wong was there. He had said the Avengers needed everyone who could help and he was drawing a crackling golden ring into the thin air.
She stepped through the ring and on the other side… on the other side, a nightmare.
And there wasn't time to think, just fight. She surged forward with the rest of the horde. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that all of her family was there. Steve and Wanda. Sam and Clint. Tony. Peter.
And so many more.
She pushed herself harder than she ever had. Everything that Nat had ever taught her, she used it to strike down her enemy. Monsters. Because this was a nightmare.
And she tried to move forward. She needed to get to where the fight was the thickest, because that undoubtedly would be where she'd find her family. And she needed to protect them. But there were so many of these ugly, twisted creatures. And they were so strong and ferocious.
Then, the giant monstrosity in the sky had turned it's guns on them and it was raining fire. Most of those fighting were protected by the glowing umbrellas thrown up by men and women like Wong. That didn't stop the air from turning to ash in her mouth. It was too hot, too loud. Her ears rang as she watched a glowing beam pierce it's way though the ship. And then the ship was falling down, down down. Water was coming in through a hole in the dam.
Erin fought harder to get to anyone she recognized. Her knuckles bled with the repeated blows she landed on anything that stood in her way. She flipped, she jumped. Inch by inch she made her way forward.
And then a blinding flash of light.
When she could open her eyes again, all of those monsters floated away with the breeze, turned to ash.
Erin stood on shaky legs, briefly relieved that she didn't have to fight anymore, before her relief turned to ice in her veins. Because the universe didn't deal you good fortune without asking for something in return.
Which one of her family would she find gone?
Which one would be…
No. No. He wasn't.
It was just a nightmare.
There was a noise to her right and she looked up to see Peter slink through the door, closing it quietly behind him. She met his eyes for a brief moment; they were ringed red and so incredibly sad. He had dried blood smeared down his face from a cut above his brow. He still wore his Spider-Man suit, and even though it was made of sturdy nanotech, it was singed around its edges.
Erin sighed heavily and looked away. He was just more evidence of what had happened; what she was trying so hard to deny.
"Pepper wanted me to check on you." Peter said in a hollow voice, coming to sit beside her. "She had to go back home for Morgan."
Erin couldn't wrap her head around it. Pepper had briefly explained on the way to the Tower that five years had passed since she had seen Erin last. In that time she and Tony had gotten married, had a child, and moved out to the country. Tony had had a little girl, and Erin didn't even know her.
"Erin?" Peter took hold of her hand. "Have you eaten anything?"
Erin stayed silent. The idea of food made her stomach roll violently and for a moment she thought she might actually be sick. Peter didn't push her any further.
"What about a shower?" Peter inspected the swollen knuckles of her right hand. They were bloodied - with hers or with that of monsters she didn't know. "Come on," he pulled her up gently and led her to the adjoining bathroom. She followed mutely without putting up a fight.
Peter turned on the shower and adjusted the spray and then turned to her. Erin couldn't meet his gaze. She could feel him inspecting her. He hesitated and then made the decision to undress her himself. Still, Erin remained unmoving, just letting Peter continue with his work. Soon, she was naked in front of him. He must have realized that she had no motivation to step into the shower and clean herself, because he too stripped down.
Peter stepped into the shower and guided her gently under the spray. The warm water hit her with a shock. There was a stinging sensation above her eyebrow and she reached up. Her fingers came away red and she knew she must have a pretty decent gash there.
Peter squeezed some shampoo into her hair and gently scrubbed her scalp. Erin's eyes shutter closed and she concentrated on only his touch. His fingers were gentle and they scrubbed away the dirt and ash that coated her hair. Methodically, he cleaned her body until she was pink and new. They stayed together under the warm spray of the shower, the only sounds to be heard was the water against the tile and their breathing. Erin kept her eyes closed the entire time.
Finally, Erin opened her eyes and met Peter's stare. He was crying silently. She couldn't tell at first, the shower hid it well, but he sniffled and his face screwed up into a scowl.
And if Peter was crying - then it must all be real.
"He's really dead." It was a statement more than a question.
Peter nodded and big fat tears fell down his face. Erin pressed her face into his bare wet chest and sobbed. The sound of their grief mingled with the spray of the water. Peter held her in his arms desperately.
Erin didn't know how long they stayed like that, she only knew that it was long enough to cry herself into exhaustion. Her limbs were boneless and heavy, her mind sluggish. He turned the shower off and toweled the both of them off. He found something for her to wear in the closet and dressed her with gentle hands.
Peter guided her to the bed and laid her down, pulling the thick covers up to her chin, tucking her in. He hovered above her, brushing wet strands of hair behind her ear. "I gotta go find May," he whispered. "I talked to her briefly, but she's going insane. I gotta see her."
Erin nodded mutely and then asked in a broken small voice, "Can you stay until I fall asleep?"
Peter nodded and placed a chaste kiss to her temple. He climbed over her to rest behind her. His body moulded to hers and he wrapped an arm around her and, grabbing her hand, he threaded their fingers. He kissed her head again.
"It's gunna be okay, Erin." But he sounded as if he didn't much believe his own words.
Erin slowly drifted off to sleep, tears leaking from her eyes. Vaguely, she wondered how anything would ever be okay again.